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Old 01-19-2020, 06:11 PM
Mike Mabes is offline
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how does a 57 year old single man make friends?


Used to have a number of friends when I lived in NYC with my wife, now deceased, from 1995 to 2009. She had a terminal disease so we moved to Rhode Island in 2009, where she was born and had family. Made some friends there. I moved back to this area a couple of years ago, I'm just over the river from NYC. But my friends from NYC are now just Facebook friends, they have moved away from this area. And I can't make friends through family, they are in Virginia.

I have tried Meet Up groups, but the ones I am interested in all meet during the week, and I work 1-9pm. I did find one group that meets on Saturdays, Whiskey and Books, right up my alley, and went to one meeting. The group then decided to read Proust. But not only Proust, but to read all the writers who influenced him. This has been going on for over a year. Maybe I should just go to the meetings and pretend to be interesed in Proust. Hell, maybe if I read him I would be interested. I've read Hugo and Dickens.

I tried looking up my local library. And yes it has meetings. Always during the weekday. 9-5

As far as meeting women, I have tried Tinder and OK Cupid, I now have a membership to the latter, after cancelling Tinder. Has anyone here ever met a woman from either of those sites? So far I haven't.
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Old 01-19-2020, 06:16 PM
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What are you interested in? Join relevant organizations. Take adult education classes.

Talk to coworkers and invite them to something after work.
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Old 01-19-2020, 06:24 PM
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Get a puppy. Walk him in the park. Go to a dogpark on weekends.

I'll be your Doper friend ()
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Old 01-19-2020, 06:26 PM
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joining this thread because I am 58 and needing new friends. I've relocated too much and my friends are all in other places.

I'll be your West Coast Doper Friend.

I have met people through my town's facebook group and through events posted there. events at the local library, museum, and live music performances. people are friendly, here, too.

Last edited by JackieLikesVariety; 01-19-2020 at 06:28 PM.
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Old 01-19-2020, 06:43 PM
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Set up your own meetup group that matches your hours? Call it the Swing Shift X Group. Since you have the initial control on what X is, if it works, it will be perfect for you.
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Old 01-19-2020, 07:01 PM
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Whiskey and Books, right up my alley, and went to one meeting. The group then decided to read Proust. But not only Proust, but to read all the writers who influenced him. This has been going on for over a year. Maybe I should just go to the meetings and pretend to be interesed in Proust. Hell, maybe if I read him I would be interested. I've read Hugo and Dickens.
try some Proust, I see no downside.
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Old 01-19-2020, 07:11 PM
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Set up your own meetup group that matches your hours? Call it the Swing Shift X Group. Since you have the initial control on what X is, if it works, it will be perfect for you.
That reminds me. When I was in Rhode Island, I created a Facebook group - Rhode Island Eggheads. For discussion of books and history and current events. One person joined. I have a feeling the same thing will happen it I create a Meet-Up group, but what do I have to lose?
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Old 01-19-2020, 08:08 PM
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Oops. Probably can't post that.

Last edited by Gatopescado; 01-19-2020 at 08:09 PM. Reason: Big hit for Eric Clapton, however.
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Old 01-19-2020, 09:45 PM
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As far as meeting women, I have tried Tinder and OK Cupid, I now have a membership to the latter, after cancelling Tinder. Has anyone here ever met a woman from either of those sites? So far I haven't.
I had a few dates through Ok Cupid and it's how I met my wife five years ago. My brother-in-law met his wife through Tinder.
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Old 01-19-2020, 11:29 PM
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I empathize. I have a lot of friends scattered throughout the country and overseas. I have few friends where I live, and less than I used to due to my eyesight and the fact some friends have moved away.

Give creating a Meet-Up group a try, but put some thought into what you call it. Whiskey and Books is a great name because it implies it's fun (Alcohol!) and substantive. Rhode Island Eggheads has less allure.

Maybe other Dopers have good suggestions re: names.
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Old 01-19-2020, 11:51 PM
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I have often told my husband, Tom Scud, that if anything ever happened to me, he should get involved in 2 things: yoga and cat rescue. He agrees

Pursue your interests, and you are likely to meet other people who enjoy the same things you do.
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Old 01-20-2020, 12:06 AM
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I forget where I heard the line, maybe it will ring a bell for someone, but some guy is telling a friend about meeting his dream woman "at the stun line in a meat-packing plant."
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Old 01-20-2020, 12:46 AM
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Yep. Cats. Works Everytime.


(I really have no idea, but I would like a guy who likes cats)
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:09 AM
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Also whiskey and books implies leisure and refinement.

If we're going with reading themed groups, what sort of reading? Cigars and Science? Pipes and Pages? Cookies and Fantasy?

Regarding dating sites. I met a woman on OKCupid once. We liked each other and could spend hours talking but, oddly, there wasn't enough attraction to keep the relationship going beyond a few friendly dates.

My current (and still shiny and new to me)gf I met on pof. Dating websites aren't any better than bumping carts in the produce section, just more convenient.
  #15  
Old 01-20-2020, 03:40 AM
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Do you do sporty stuff? There are lots of social opportunities with cycling and running and probably others.
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Old 01-20-2020, 08:07 AM
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Try the Meetup site. It works.
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Old 01-20-2020, 09:52 AM
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there are meetups that have almost all their meetups during the day on weekdays, look for one of those. Those have retired people, students, stay at home moms, etc.
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:26 PM
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Find an interest such as photography, antiques, leather work (no, not that kind), role playing games etc. and hang out where they are practiced or supplies bought and sold.

OK, maybe that kind of leather work if it's an interest.

Last edited by GaryM; 01-20-2020 at 01:27 PM.
  #19  
Old 01-20-2020, 01:48 PM
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Could you take a class at a community college in something that interests you?
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:38 PM
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Hmm...

57? Check
Widowed? Check
NYC? Dagnabbit. I don't suppose you'd like to move to Texas, would you?

Meetup is probably really good in NYC. I didn't find that many good groups in my area... however, being liberal in Texas makes me pretty unusual. There's a senior group that trends a little older than me (and is run by someone who I have a political difference of opinion, and it shows), and a bunch of gaming groups that tend to play on week.

My biggest problem is my interests tend to be girly. I like crafts, and my preferred reading material is romances. And my health is too iffy for things like hiking groups.

Heh - I just checked my email, and there's a new group for "socially awkward introverts" Look, my kind of people!
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:17 PM
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If you like animals, volunteer at the local shelter. At mine, the women volunteers outnumber the men by about 10 to one.
  #22  
Old 01-20-2020, 04:59 PM
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Is there any chance that was work hours could change? I'd probably move past a profile of someone I'd see so little of.
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Old 01-20-2020, 05:17 PM
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I'm sure all of these suggestions are appreciated, but I find they are all along the lines of
1. Do a thing to meet people
2. ???
3. Friends!
It's that #2 step that is really hard. Pushing the relationship from "some people I occasionally see to talk about books" to "a few people I consider friends who also consider me a friend" is what's difficult.

Obviously sitting at home feeling sorry for oneself and never meeting anybody new doesn't work, so take it as a given that it's possible to go out and meet people with at least somewhat similar interests and hobbies. How does one go from that to friends?
  #24  
Old 01-20-2020, 07:33 PM
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Obviously sitting at home feeling sorry for oneself and never meeting anybody new doesn't work, so take it as a given that it's possible to go out and meet people with at least somewhat similar interests and hobbies. How does one go from that to friends?
With some charm, kindness, and good luck. You may have to wait a while find people you'd like to be friends with in a new place, just as you may have to wait a while to find someone you'd like to date in a new place. Keep getting out there and talking to people, and with time some friendships may develop.

Some people recommend setting goals, for attempts rather than achievements. That is, you might require yourself to do one or two "nudges" per week, where a "nudge" is some action to get to know somebody better or spend some time with them. For instance, do you like rock climbing, and did you meet somebody at the book club who likes rock climbing? A "nudge" is to ask that person if they'd like to go rock climbing together sometime.

For middle-aged people, it's unlikely that close friendships will blossom in a day or a week, as they sometimes did back in our youth. But give it several months of expanding your people-meeting activities and working on "nudges" toward various people you find likeable, and you'll get there eventually.
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Old 01-20-2020, 07:37 PM
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I've seen a book group who meets at a diner for coffee, in the mornings. They all seem really friendly and chatty.
If there's one in this backwater, there has to be some in NYC.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 01-20-2020 at 07:37 PM.
  #26  
Old 01-20-2020, 08:45 PM
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As far as meeting women, I have tried Tinder and OK Cupid, I now have a membership to the latter, after cancelling Tinder. Has anyone here ever met a woman from either of those sites? So far I haven't.
I hope to add more later but for now I'm just popping in to say that, yes, I have met multiple women on OKCupid.

I am a little younger than you but roughly in the same demo. I'm not movie-star attractive, but I don't break that many mirrors (I don't believe I interested women on my looks alone). I think that my occasionally witty repartee had the most effect.

There was woman who contacted me first--out of the blue--and we went out that very night. We dated for over a year. Over the years I've met about 6 or 7 that ended up as dates; I've chatted online with lots more.

So, the number of dates/contacts have been rather few but then I'm not giving it much attention, so...

I'm in San Francisco and a lot of folks use it here. The NYC area is gonna have a lot of users, too, so that's good.
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Old 01-20-2020, 09:02 PM
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I’m 59 myself. You do know that the Freemasons are desperate to recruit fresh-faced young whelps such as ourselves? Their median age is about 20 years older than us.

Don’t let Mozart, Ben Franklin, Davy Crockett, Mark Twain, Harry Houdini, Lucky Lindy, both President Roosevelts, Count Basie, Colonel Sanders, and Richard Pryor (no fooling) down!!!
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Old 01-20-2020, 10:20 PM
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I’m 59 myself. You do know that the Freemasons are desperate to recruit fresh-faced young whelps such as ourselves? Their median age is about 20 years older than us.
Though, isn't it the case that one needs to be recruited by a current Mason, rather than trying to join on your own? (At least, that's what I've always heard.) Thus, it might be impossible to become a Mason if you don't already know a Mason who would recommend you.
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Old 01-20-2020, 10:52 PM
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Though, isn't it the case that one needs to be recruited by a current Mason, rather than trying to join on your own? (At least, that's what I've always heard.) Thus, it might be impossible to become a Mason if you don't already know a Mason who would recommend you.
I stand corrected. If the Wikipedia article on Freemasonry is accurate:

Quote:
The process varies between jurisdictions, but the candidate will typically have been introduced by a friend at a Lodge social function, or at some form of open evening in the Lodge. In modern times, interested people often track down a local Lodge through the Internet. The onus is on candidates to ask to join; while candidates may be encouraged to ask, they are never invited.
  #30  
Old 01-20-2020, 11:23 PM
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Aren't Masons all men?
Not helpful in dating of females. I'm assuming the OP is hetero. He spoke of a wife.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 01-20-2020 at 11:24 PM.
  #31  
Old 01-20-2020, 11:32 PM
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Friends: the trick is to find something that will put you in the same physical space with the same people over and over until you've gotten used to one another's faces enough to make plans with specific people. Jobs, classes, competitive teams (not necessarily athletic), and houses of worship (can be Unitarian if you're an atheist) are the most reliable for this. Volunteer gigs and social clubs based around hobbies/ interests can work sometimes, but they can be hard to find and it's easier for people to flake, so it's harder to connect with them. Meetup is a great idea in theory but I've found it to be not very useful in practice. Some hobbies are also just better for making friends; reading is naturally a solitary pursuit, while scuba diving generally involves a buddy for safety (not that you should run out and get certified to freeze your ass off in the north Atlantic just to meet people, but keep that factor in mind. If you want something more indoorsy, maybe chess or something else that takes at least two to tango?) Some people manage just by having a routine-- going to the gym, a certain coffee shop, a dog park, etc. on a regular basis at consistent times. Not ideal if you're shy or socially awkward though; you have to pipe up and introduce yourself to strangers who may not be interested in talking to you or anyone at that moment. I especially caution you against trying to meet women this way.

Dating is in some ways simpler. Yes, get on the apps. Don't spend too much time in virtual limbo; give her enough to see you aren't a serial killer and then try to arrange a face-to-face. Doesn't have to (and ideally shouldn't) be an expensive, formal date; plan on coffee or a drink and save the more involved stuff for at least a second date. It likely won't be quick or easy, and it may be a little demoralizing. Most women are getting more attention than they can handle, especially the younger ones if you're into that. But successful relationships often start online these days, so yes, men do meet women there. More importantly, you don't seem to have many other options for meeting women right now, so you might as well get online.
  #32  
Old 01-20-2020, 11:56 PM
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My friend was a decent amateur photographer. After her husband died, she joined a couple photography clubs. They have meetings, excursions, and her art as really improved. She's met some friends she meets up with outside of club events.

I'm not terribly social, but I have some local friends I met on a horse message board. We lunch at least once a month, talk on FB regularly, and I take riding lessons with one of them.

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  #33  
Old 01-21-2020, 12:39 AM
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I hope to add more later but for now I'm just popping in to say that, yes, I have met multiple women on OKCupid.

I am a little younger than you but roughly in the same demo. I'm not movie-star attractive, but I don't break that many mirrors (I don't believe I interested women on my looks alone). I think that my occasionally witty repartee had the most effect.

There was woman who contacted me first--out of the blue--and we went out that very night. We dated for over a year. Over the years I've met about 6 or 7 that ended up as dates; I've chatted online with lots more.

So, the number of dates/contacts have been rather few but then I'm not giving it much attention, so...

I'm in San Francisco and a lot of folks use it here. The NYC area is gonna have a lot of users, too, so that's good.
Don't despair! I Love Me, Vol. I's experience meeting multiple women reminds me of a close friend in the NYC burbs, 68 year old male, not physically attractive but witty, sweet and charming, who has been on OkCupid on and off for the past 10 years. He found many dates and 2 girlfriends, one of whom he was with for 2 years until she moved to Seattle and didn't want to go the long-distance relationship route, another who he was with for 4 years until she got downsized and went crazy networking and part-timing and acted like she had no time for him. He also made friends with a couple of the women whom he met and they decided that there was "no chemistry".

He complained that lots of the OkCupid women were in NJ, difficult for him since he's on the eastern edge of Westchester near the CT border, but that's good for you, Mike Mabes, since it sounds like you're in NJ or Rockland.

If you're at all interested in meeting people through volunteering, lots of soup kitchens and food pantries need people during mid-late morning hours.

And a 60 year old male friend has made new friends through a mall-walking group. They meet around 8-10 AM, some of them 7 days a week.

I like Proust myself, but some people are absolutely fanatical about him, which can be off-putting.

Also, if your local library doesn't have meetings at times that are good for you, look at libraries in the surrounding towns. It's surprising how much their offerings can differ.

Last edited by gkster; 01-21-2020 at 12:44 AM.
  #34  
Old 01-21-2020, 01:03 AM
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If you like animals, volunteer at the local shelter. At mine, the women volunteers outnumber the men by about 10 to one.
Came here to say this. The ratio is about the same at our shelter, too.
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Old 01-21-2020, 02:08 AM
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What are your interests and what do you want to do with friends? What do friends mean to you?

I have been pretty isolated. There are not many foreigners where I live.

I made quite a few friends online, which really was very helpful.

Recently I joined a Dragon boat team, and we exercise several times a week together. That has become great and I really have started to make friends.

If you have interest in doing something like animal rescue or something to charity that meets, it may be easier to make friends.
  #36  
Old 01-21-2020, 02:21 AM
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Community theater.

Even if you don't have an ounce of performance talent in your body, they always need tech folks to build sets, strike sets, and handle the tedious detail that the "talent" can't handle.

And, if you are a man hoping to meet women, you will be as valuable and rare as a unicorn. Single heterosexual men are outnumbered by single heterosexual women by about ten to one.
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Old 01-21-2020, 03:07 AM
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Wow, I don't see the word "bar" upthread. The only problem is that of joining a club that will have someone like you as a member.

Dating sites should be considered, especially if you have little or no experience with them. Going back to the "someone like you" idea, if you're reasonable and want reasonable things, it's reasonable to expect to find someone similar on dating sites.

Be on the lookout (when you feel like it) when you're out and about, shopping or whatever. That doesn't mean being on the hunt, but rather taking advantage of opportunities to share a laugh (and not giving a shit if they don't pan out).
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Old 01-21-2020, 03:08 AM
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Wow, I don't see the word "bar" upthread. The only problem is that of joining a club that will have someone like you as a member.

Dating sites should be considered, especially if you have little or no experience with them. Going back to the "someone like you" idea, if you're reasonable and want reasonable things, it's reasonable to expect to find someone similar on dating sites.

Be on the lookout (when you feel like it) when you're out and about, shopping or whatever. That doesn't mean being on the hunt, but rather taking advantage of opportunities to share a laugh (and not giving a shit if they don't pan out).
  #39  
Old 01-21-2020, 11:46 AM
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As another 57 year old widower, I understand where you are coming from. I didn't move, but I was my wife's caretaker for seven-and-a-half years and, as her condition worsened, we became increasingly isolated. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I retreated even more after she died; it's only been recently that I've been forcing myself out. If I lived anywhere near New York, I'd be glad to hang out with you drinking whiskey and discussing books - probably not Proust though. Good luck.
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Old 01-21-2020, 12:56 PM
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Community theater.

Even if you don't have an ounce of performance talent in your body, they always need tech folks to build sets, strike sets, and handle the tedious detail that the "talent" can't handle.

And, if you are a man hoping to meet women, you will be as valuable and rare as a unicorn. Single heterosexual men are outnumbered by single heterosexual women by about ten to one.
I love this idea! I should amend my list to include medium-term projects such as community theater and...hmmm, are there other things like that, where people sign on for a specified period of time to be part of a production of some sort?
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Old 01-21-2020, 04:20 PM
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Much depends on how you define "Friends." I'm about your age; I have many acquaintances, but can probably count my true friends on one hand. These are relationships that developed organically and have strengthened over the course of years. So I don't have a lot of advice to offer in regard to making friends.

But if you're looking for people you might enjoy hanging out with and having some interesting conversations, that's a bit easier. Become a regular customer someplace. A bar is an obvious choice, but it could also be a coffee shop, or a diner, or a bookstore. There will be other regulars there, and over time you'll have conversations with them, get to know them, and become comfortable in their company. You may or may not become friends, but at the very least you'll have people you know, and you'll always know where to find them.
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Old 01-22-2020, 02:38 PM
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I'm in the same boat as you, bro. My friends are dying off or being devoted parents who don't have the spare time. I'm too much of an introvert in real life, and I wear a mask here.
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Old 01-22-2020, 07:21 PM
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Wow, I don't see the word "bar" upthread.
I'm 61. My gf works more hours each day than I do, so I pass some of that time in bars drinking good beer. Were I not in a committed relationship, I could be doing more than drinking beer and making friends.
  #44  
Old 01-22-2020, 09:51 PM
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Though, isn't it the case that one needs to be recruited by a current Mason, rather than trying to join on your own? (At least, that's what I've always heard.) Thus, it might be impossible to become a Mason if you don't already know a Mason who would recommend you.
To the best of my knowledge, the Masons are so desperate for new blood that they will make all accommodations for new members.

If I were the sort of man who valued friendship with interesting people, I would join up in a minute.

As the sort of man who values weirdness, I would be more likely to join up with the Golden Dawn.
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Old 01-23-2020, 08:17 AM
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Community theater.

Even if you don't have an ounce of performance talent in your body, they always need tech folks to build sets, strike sets, and handle the tedious detail that the "talent" can't handle.

And, if you are a man hoping to meet women, you will be as valuable and rare as a unicorn. Single heterosexual men are outnumbered by single heterosexual women by about ten to one.
I was going to suggest a community choir, for pretty much the same reasons.
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Old 01-23-2020, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
To the best of my knowledge, the Masons are so desperate for new blood that they will make all accommodations for new members...
I know "youngsters" (okay, a couple 40 year olds) who joined the local Elks Lodge. Mostly for their "clubhouse" with a lake view, good food with old jazz, and Friday Fish Frys.


I've tried to keep my number of friends down, but I just retired, which meant I lost contact with most of mine (apparently, I'm no longer invited to anything...) so I might need some new ones.

But I keep making new ones at two places: my "parish bar" (the closest tavern), where I've been going a couple nights a week. I just had someone ask me to organize a weekly cribbage game... which I know nothing about. But I'll do it!

... and at church. You knew someone was going to mention that one, didn't you? I found a surprisingly-open-minded Lutheran(ELCA) one. The trick is, find a smaller group within the church. The first person I could stand there got me to come to a Voluntary Simplicity class. We'd go out for a beer afterwards with a couple of our "classmates" and laugh at Sprout Lady (80-something hippie who drives around town with sprouts germinating on her dashboard). Ideally, they'd have a Bible Study group, but this church is too smartypants for that. Now I'm going to their Dining & Drivel group, where someone picks a new restaurant, puts a blurb in the church bulletin, and a couple dozen middle-agers (40s-70s) show up to try Aztec or Nepalese food. And laugh.

Last edited by digs; 01-23-2020 at 08:52 PM.
  #47  
Old 01-23-2020, 09:08 PM
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I'm also 57, and sympathize with the OP. It's just damned hard to make friends at this age. I suspect it's much harder for a man, but perhaps that's my experience.

My marriage ended almost 6 years ago, and when that happens you lose all of your couple-friends. I dated for several years via OKCupid etc, but grew frustrated with dating and gave it up after 4+ years. I remained friends with several once-romantic-now-platonic ladies, but people drift away in that sort of situation. Now I really have about two friends I see very seldomly, and see no path (sans dating) to making more. It's a bitch at this age - everyone already has their friends, and they're not you.
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Old 01-23-2020, 09:42 PM
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Now, don't laugh, but an older suddenly-divorced friend asked people at work what they did during the winter... tried (and ended up joining) a curling club. Brooklyn has a good one with a 90-Min CurlNYC Intro: "including learning the rules, delivering a stone, and the purpose behind sweeping the ice. All equipment is provided".

Best part is that the games are easy to learn... and short, with the teams drinking together afterwards.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Oops. Probably can't post that.
Last edited by Gatopescado; 01-19-2020 at 07:09 PM.. Reason: Big hit for Eric Clapton, however.
I Shot the Sheriff? You made friends while on the lam, taking potshots at local cops? What, did you check Gigs on Craigslist and see "Wheel Man needed, Sat. night, midnight til 2 ... 1:30 if you drive fast."

Or was it Bad Love? Was that your Tinder experience? Or did you stay home with Willie and the Hand Jive?

Oh, wait, bet it was Cocaine! Though, handing out samples with a "Be My Pal, Score A Snort" shirt might get expensive...
  #49  
Old 01-24-2020, 01:01 AM
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The best way I have ever found to make friends is by learning to play bridge and then going to bridge clubs. It is very easy to meet people there and there are always people who need partners.

It's very easy to become annoyed with a bad player. So you need to be careful that you don't start screaming at someone you just met looking for a partner who turns out to be a terrible partner. You must avoid screaming at them. Eventually, you will learn who all the terrible players are and you can easily avoid partnering with them.

But very soon after you begin to play, you will find many people who will arrange to meet with you and play in their homes. You should plan on reciprocating and make sure your home is suitable for inviting people over to play. (snacks def required).

There are other social games and activities (like dancing and discussion groups and support groups) where it is also very easy to meet people. As long as you remember the Golden Rule when dealing with others, once you join some of these kinds of orgs, you should be well on your way.

Good Luck.

P.S. Like people have said, much depends on your interests. You may not be a very social person in which case things like hunting and fishing and militia groups may provide you with what you need.

Last edited by Charlie Wayne; 01-24-2020 at 01:02 AM.
  #50  
Old 01-24-2020, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Kimstu View Post
With some charm, kindness, and good luck. You may have to wait a while find people you'd like to be friends with in a new place, just as you may have to wait a while to find someone you'd like to date in a new place. Keep getting out there and talking to people, and with time some friendships may develop.

Some people recommend setting goals, for attempts rather than achievements. That is, you might require yourself to do one or two "nudges" per week, where a "nudge" is some action to get to know somebody better or spend some time with them. For instance, do you like rock climbing, and did you meet somebody at the book club who likes rock climbing? A "nudge" is to ask that person if they'd like to go rock climbing together sometime.

For middle-aged people, it's unlikely that close friendships will blossom in a day or a week, as they sometimes did back in our youth. But give it several months of expanding your people-meeting activities and working on "nudges" toward various people you find likeable, and you'll get there eventually.
Echoing Kimstu's post. Also, time. A few years ago, I got up the gumption to join the group runs hosted by my local running store. It took a few months, but I began to recognize the regulars, and they me. First just to nods, and “Nice run”, then “Hey, let’s all go play trivia at the bar next door, then “Want to get together for a run on Saturday?” and so on.

Now, a few years on, I have a regular group of buddies who meet to run once or twice a week, and often grab a beer afterwards. We’ve gone out to dinner a few times, and I’ve hosted them for a New Year’s Eve party. None are really close friends – yet – but my primary social contact for the last few years has been men and women I’ve met after the age of forty-five.

Took a bit of time, and patience, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhiannon8404 View Post
Came here to say this. The ratio is about the same at our shelter, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim R. Mortiss View Post
Community theater.

Even if you don't have an ounce of performance talent in your body, they always need tech folks to build sets, strike sets, and handle the tedious detail that the "talent" can't handle.

And, if you are a man hoping to meet women, you will be as valuable and rare as a unicorn. Single heterosexual men are outnumbered by single heterosexual women by about ten to one.
I wouldn’t do that unless you’re actually interested in animal rescue or theater. The women at those places, I’d hazard, aren’t there to meet men; they’re probably there because they like dogs or theater. They’ll realize if you’re just there for the dating opportunities.

Find a passion and pursue that, instead. Find something that interests you, and look for a group built around it. It might be hard to meet women if your interests are stereotypically masculine, like cars or sports (although there are plenty of women who are interested in both), but you’ll have something in common with anyone you meet. And if you don’t, you will have at least spent time on something you enjoy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyada View Post
(snip)

Heh - I just checked my email, and there's a new group for "socially awkward introverts" Look, my kind of people!
So, the group will consist of an email chain of "Um, can't do it this week, maybe next Tuesday?" from every member?
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