View Poll Results: Should serving hot dogs with ketchup rather than mustard & relish be a capital offense?
No. Death is too good for such a person. 10 20.41%
Yes, and if mayonnaise is in any way involved, it should be death by slow torture. 14 28.57%
No need to get violent. Exile to Antarctica seems sufficient. 20 40.82%
What if the culprit escapes? Won't someone think of the children? 12 24.49%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 02-27-2020, 11:38 AM
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Should serving hot dogs with ketchup rather than mustard & relish be punished by death?


Please explain your answer. Poll coming.
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  #2  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:01 PM
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Sweet relish is a abomination, IMHO, but I have given up on that hill.

Mustard.

Unless it's a chili dog- in which case, might as well have mustard anyway.
  #3  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:03 PM
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Ketchup OR relish should be punished by death.

Even when I make Chicago-style hot dogs at home, I leave out that awful Day-Glo relish. The sliced dill pickle is enough pickle for me.
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  #4  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
...Unless it's a chili dog- in which case, might as well have mustard anyway.
At Johnny’s Hot Dog, at the southwest corner of Cleveland’s West Side Market, they always want to put mustard on my breakfast chili dogs. And look at me funny when I decline.

Why the hell would a good chili dog need mustard? Do you stir mustard into your bowl o’ red?
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  #5  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:12 PM
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I'm a mustard and onions guy. Or full Chicago dog.
  #6  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:17 PM
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We’ve done this ad infinitum.
And, as a self-styled hot dog expert, I will tell you - Ketchup on hot dogs is perfectly OK, and my preferred condiment (along with spicy mustard, relish, kraut and onions).
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Old 02-27-2020, 12:17 PM
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No one really cares what's on your hot dog.
The poll choices are dumb.
  #8  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:20 PM
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I like mustard AND ketchup, together. COME AT ME.
  #9  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:21 PM
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Chicago native. I put ketchup on my dog. So sue me. And what jnglmassiv said.
  #10  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:33 PM
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Ketchup AND mustard AND (sweet) relish is the only way to eat a hot dog.

However, ketchup on a bratwurst is an abomination, and anyone who does this should be taken out and flogged.
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  #11  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:53 PM
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People who put ketchup on their own hot dogs have already been punished enough, by having to eat hot dogs with ketchup on them.

People who put ketchup on other people's hot dogs should not be allowed around food.
  #12  
Old 02-27-2020, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by beowulff View Post
We’ve done this ad infinitum.
And, as a self-styled hot dog expert, I will tell you - Ketchup on hot dogs is perfectly OK, and my preferred condiment (along with spicy mustard, relish, kraut and onions).
I am not opposed to people who choose to put catchup on their hotdogs as long as they confine their perversions to the privacy of their own homes. Only to people who push catch up on to other people's hotdogs.
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  #13  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:00 PM
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Mustard is an abomination.

A sinus-burning, taste overwhelming, tastes-like-poop-dipped-graphite horror.
  #14  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer View Post
I am not opposed to people who choose to put catchup on their hotdogs as long as they confine their perversions to the privacy of their own homes. Only to people who push catch up on to other people's hotdogs.
I proudly eat my hot dogs with Ketchup - in public!
You can find me and my workout partner at Costco after the gym sometimes, eating our cheap dogs with everything on them, if you want to make something of it....
  #15  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:11 PM
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Mustard is an abomination.

A sinus-burning, taste overwhelming, tastes-like-poop-dipped-graphite horror.
While you are of course incorrect, I applaud you for entering into this thread with the proper bombastic attitude. When the time comes, your death will be quick and painless.
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  #16  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:12 PM
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I proudly eat my hot dogs with Ketchup - in public!
You can find me and my workout partner at Costco after the gym sometimes, eating our cheap dogs with everything on them, if you want to make something of it....
So what you're telling us is that you're a communist.
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  #17  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:12 PM
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I will not eat a hot dog (or anything else) with ketchup, mustard, or relish.

I might consent to some diced onions.

However, since 99% of the world is different than me, I don't object to the way anyone wants to eat a hot dog. My only concern is that once it has a condiment on it, I can't finish it off if my wife doesn't eat all of hers.
  #18  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:24 PM
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Not if you mix a sufficient amount of curry powder into the catsup first. Look up currywurst.
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  #19  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer View Post
So what you're telling us is that you're a communist.
Better Red than not able to eat my dogs the way I want, I always say.



(Well, not actually, it’s too long and doesn’t rhyme, but you get the idea).
  #20  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by beowulff View Post
Better Red than not able to eat my dogs the way I want, I always say.



(Well, not actually, it’s too long and doesn’t rhyme, but you get the idea).
Better Red than mustard-befouled Bread?
  #21  
Old 02-27-2020, 01:47 PM
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Better Red than not able to eat my dogs the way I want, I always say.



(Well, not actually, it’s too long and doesn’t rhyme, but you get the idea).
Better Red than mustard-befouled Bread?
  #22  
Old 02-27-2020, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
At Johnny’s Hot Dog, at the southwest corner of Cleveland’s West Side Market, they always want to put mustard on my breakfast chili dogs.
So, you eat breakfast chili dogs often enough to say what the staff 'always' does when you order them?

Hardcore. I can't compete with that. You're in charge of the toppings, boss-man.
  #23  
Old 02-27-2020, 02:38 PM
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Mustard is for corned beef, nothing else
  #24  
Old 02-27-2020, 02:45 PM
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I eat my hot dogs at the movie theater (yes, I'm the one) with ketchup only. I'm for complete freedom of condiments.
  #25  
Old 02-27-2020, 02:54 PM
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Regular old baloney stick type hot dog? Ketchup, mayo, cheap yellow mustard, 90wt gear oil, K-Y, whatever it takes for a fellow to get that sucker down the hatch and out of the world. Eating one of those nasties should entitle one to a medal for the service they have done humanity.

A nice Jewish dog? I do mine with straight ketchup and a big old glass of sweet tea. Because I'm a badass.

Brats deserve only the best fancy schmancy mustard. Someone has one of those and is reaching for the ketchup, I slip them the baloney stick when they're not looking.
  #26  
Old 02-27-2020, 02:54 PM
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Let me blow your tiny minds. Not only is ketchup fine it can form a holy quartet.

I love me some classic German bockwurst and when in Germany or Austria I'll often have a pair with some classic rye bread accompanied by ketchup, german mustard, maggi seasoning and grated horseradish. It's all good.
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  #27  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
At Johnny’s Hot Dog, at the southwest corner of Cleveland’s West Side Market, they always want to put mustard on my breakfast chili dogs. And look at me funny when I decline.

Why the hell would a good chili dog need mustard? Do you stir mustard into your bowl o’ red?
Took the words right off of my fingers. I pretty much stopped going to Rally's/Checker's because of this. Wienerschnitzel still gets it right, though, although I fear that it is just a matter of time, the same way that, one by one, Subway, then Quizno's, then Togo's, all sweetened up the marinara sauce in their meatball subs.
  #28  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:11 PM
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I’ve got a problem with any server/restaurant that puts anything on a non-specialty hot dog. Hand it to me plain and let me add the condiments!
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  #29  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:13 PM
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I think these penalties should be reserved for people who try to influence how other people like to eat their food. Eat however you like.
  #30  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:20 PM
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When I was a kid, I put ketchup on virtually everything. Now I use it only on burgers, fries and hot dogs.

Last edited by panache45; 02-27-2020 at 03:21 PM.
  #31  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:21 PM
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There is nothing wrong with putting ketchup on hot dogs as long as you are under the age of 12
  #32  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:23 PM
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Who decided it must be mustard-only on hotdogs? Since when does majority rule on taste? Should we all only eat at McDonald's? This is really tiresome.

I use ketchup on hotdogs because hotdogs are way too salty for my tastes. The sweetness in ketchup (and relish) help balance it out. Otherwise, I doubt I could choke one down. Been that way since I was a kid. Nowadays I use sauerkraut and sautéed onions, too. Sometimes roasted browned poblanos. Yum.
  #33  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:52 PM
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Only if we can do the same with french fries. I feel that might be less popular but makes more sense IMHO. Places I buy fries don't offer ketchup. Both are close to "eating well done steak with ketchup" territory to me, but not quite.
  #34  
Old 02-27-2020, 04:13 PM
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Hot dogs should not be served with anything on them. Serve them up plain, and have a little table where the eater can choose their own condiment to put on them (including mustard, relish, and yes, ketchup if they so choose).
  #35  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noelq View Post
Mustard is an abomination.

A sinus-burning, taste overwhelming, tastes-like-poop-dipped-graphite horror.
Yes! This. Mustard of any kind is disgusting. If I was Superman, mustard would be kryptonite.

Sorry for the hijack.

Oh, hot dogs with ketchup for the win!
  #36  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
Sweet relish is a abomination, IMHO, but I have given up on that hill.

Mustard.

Unless it's a chili dog- in which case, might as well have mustard anyway.
Yeah. Hate sweet pickle relish. My go-to is just mustard and chopped onions.

I used to love the chili dogs they made at the Orange Julius in Westwood (next door to Tomnoddy Faire -- obviously, this was like 40 years ago). They used parmesan cheese on their chili dogs, which tasted awesome.
  #37  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:28 PM
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I am aware that some people put ketchup on hot dogs. My own beloved daughter does, but she's only six -- there's hope yet. It's wrong, it's perverse, and it's awful, but people do it. I can live with that.

Relish is fine. Sauerkraut is fine, too.

But mayonnaise? What the fuck? I mean, mayonnaise has its place, but that place is nowhere near a hot dog.

Last edited by Saintly Loser; 02-27-2020 at 05:29 PM.
  #38  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:31 PM
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Hot dogs should not be served with anything on them. Serve them up plain, and have a little table where the eater can choose their own condiment to put on them (including mustard, relish, and yes, ketchup if they so choose).
Aw, you're reminding me of Woody's Smorgasboard*. Which oddly enough was a burger place. You ordered your burger (indicating number of patties and type of cheese, if any) and took it to the "smorgasboard" of condiments. I always took mine to the soft serve "smorgasboard" and added chopped peanuts to my other condiments. Yum!

* So many place I loved... long gone.
  #39  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:35 PM
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I voted for death, but I'm disappointed to find that this is just a Skald hypothetical.
  #40  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:41 PM
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I get sooo much pushback from people when it comes to ketchup on a hot dog. Usually they loudly tell me to STFU, they can eat whatever they want, how they want.

And I agree but it is akin to being allowed to say anything you want because you have free speech. You can certainly do it but you are not free from other people's reactions if you say something awful.

If you went to a good sushi restaurant and squirted ketchup on your sushi you are free to do so but you cannot be surprised when the restaurant asks you to leave (and I guarantee some places would assuming they didn't outright refuse the request in the first place).

I will give a pass to kids under 10. They can do ketchup on a hot dog. After that they should know better.
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  #41  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Telemark View Post
I think these penalties should be reserved for people who try to influence how other people like to eat their food. Eat however you like.
This. The next person who posts one of these threads should be forced to work at the Heinz plant bottling ketchup.
  #42  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:47 PM
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Catsup on a hot dog? Not my favorite, but live and let live, I say.

One time when I was young, I ate a hot dog with Miracle Whip on it.... and I liked it!!!!
  #43  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:48 PM
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nm (sorry...keep getting timed-out then reloading reposts)
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Last edited by Whack-a-Mole; 02-27-2020 at 05:48 PM.
  #44  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Whack-a-Mole View Post
I get sooo much pushback from people when it comes to ketchup on a hot dog. Usually they loudly tell me to STFU, they can eat whatever they want, how they want.

And I agree but it is akin to being allowed to say anything you want because you have free speech. You can certainly do it but you are not free from other people's reactions if you say something awful.

If you went to a good sushi restaurant and squirted ketchup on your sushi you are free to do so but you cannot be surprised when the restaurant asks you to leave (and I guarantee some places would assuming they didn't outright refuse the request in the first place).

I will give a pass to kids under 10. They can do ketchup on a hot dog. After that they should know better.
Who the hell made you the Hot Dog maven?
The mere fact that you are equating a hot dog and sushi makes your opinion suspect.
  #45  
Old 02-27-2020, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
At Johnny’s Hot Dog, at the southwest corner of Cleveland’s West Side Market, they always want to put mustard on my breakfast chili dogs. And look at me funny when I decline.

Why the hell would a good chili dog need mustard? Do you stir mustard into your bowl o’ red?
No, it's not necessary but it adds a little tang. I can take it or leave it.I do want cheese, however, and sometimes pickles.
  #46  
Old 02-27-2020, 06:04 PM
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Yeah. Hate sweet pickle relish. My go-to is just mustard and chopped onions.
....
You can sometimes find dill pickle relish, it's great!

Ketchup is too damn sweet.
  #47  
Old 02-27-2020, 06:36 PM
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Drag it through the garden. If that happens to include some ketchup, no problem. It had better have a dill pickle, onions, tomatoes, sport peppers and spicy hot/sweet relish on it . Famous Dave's spicy relish is great. Mustard is good as well.

Two please.
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Old 02-27-2020, 06:43 PM
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Please explain your answer. Poll coming.
I like ketchup. I like mustard. I don't like relish... at all.

I nominate myself First Heretic...
  #49  
Old 02-27-2020, 07:14 PM
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we have a place that opened in 1940 and they only sell hotdogs and they will never put ketchup on one . They also sell cokes only in glass bottles. I finally went there recently and the dogs were mediocre at best . They are only open 12-4 every day except Sunday when they are closed.
  #50  
Old 02-27-2020, 07:24 PM
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i think these penalties should be reserved for people who try to influence how other people like to eat their food. Eat however you like.
no you will eat as i tell you
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