# 1,000 year old Irish joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514 "2012-12-19T12:09:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cats\_pajamas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Cats\_pajamas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cats_pajamas)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/1 "2012-12-19T12:09:55Z")
“Three penitents resolved to quit the world for the ascetic life, and so sought the wilderness. After exactly a year’s silence the first one said: ‘’tis a good life we lead.’ At the next year’s end the second answered: ‘it is so.’ Another year being run out, the third exclaimed: ‘if I cannot have peace and quiet here I’ll go back to the world." [http://www.smo.uhi.ac.uk/sengoidelc/donncha/tm/en/](http://www.smo.uhi.ac.uk/sengoidelc/donncha/tm/en/) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/2 "2012-12-19T12:15:56Z")
That’s not half bad 😃 thanks for sharing ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/3 "2012-12-19T13:56:41Z")
The version I heard was three monks at breakfast. Year 1: the first monk says “I hate oatmeal.” Year 2: the second monk says “I love oatmeal.” Year 3: the third monk says “I’m sick and tired of this constant bickering over oatmeal.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/4 "2012-12-19T14:14:01Z")
Or the man who joined a silent order, the rule was he could say two words to the Abbot every five years, so after the first five years he said “Bed hard” and was given a slightly thicker mattress, after another five years he said “Porridge cold” and was moved half a dozen places up the breakfast queue. Five years later again he said “Leaving now” and the Abbot said “Just as well - you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here”. ---
**Author:** ![Cats\_pajamas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Cats\_pajamas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cats_pajamas)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/5 "2012-12-19T15:38:01Z")
The OP is about a 1,000 year old joke translated to a version of English most of us can understand. And, that is the novelty of the thing—the joke is authentic, as if from the mouth of time itself. But, what’s this! More recent versions of the same drollery, possibly overheard while waiting in the check-out line at Walmart, are apparently as fascinating as the ancient specimen. Go, internet! ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/6 "2012-12-19T15:45:08Z")
> [@Cats\_pajamas](#): > > “Three penitents resolved to quit the world for the ascetic life, and so sought the wilderness. After exactly a year’s silence the first one said: ‘’tis a good life we lead.’ At the next year’s end the second answered: ‘it is so.’ Another year being run out, the third exclaimed: ‘if I cannot have peace and quiet here I’ll go back to the world." > [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > The version I heard was three monks at breakfast. > > Year 1: the first monk says “I hate oatmeal.” > > Year 2: the second monk says “I love oatmeal.” > > Year 3: the third monk says “I’m sick and tired of this constant bickering over oatmeal.” > [@Malacandra](#): > > Or the man who joined a silent order, the rule was he could say two words to the Abbot every five years, so after the first five years he said “Bed hard” and was given a slightly thicker mattress, after another five years he said “Porridge cold” and was moved half a dozen places up the breakfast queue. Five years later again he said “Leaving now” and the Abbot said “Just as well - you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here”. I’ve heard all three versions. I am not, however, 1,000 years old. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/7 "2012-12-19T16:30:42Z")
> [@Cats\_pajamas](#): > > The OP is about a 1,000 year old joke translated to a version of English most of us can understand. And, that is the novelty of the thing—the joke is authentic, as if from the mouth of time itself. > > But, what’s this! More recent versions of the same drollery, possibly overheard while waiting in the check-out line at Walmart, are apparently as fascinating as the ancient specimen. > > Go, internet! Is this sarcasm? In what direction were you hoping the conversation would go? ---
**Author:** ![Cats\_pajamas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Cats\_pajamas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cats_pajamas)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/8 "2012-12-19T16:40:44Z")
> [@tim314](#): > > Is this sarcasm? In what direction were you hoping the conversation would go? For me, every discussion thread is like a crap shoot, and I’ve learned not to be expectant of anything very specific. Besides that, some charter member will probably be along any moment now to tell me what I should have expected; let’s wait and see. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/9 "2012-12-19T16:55:45Z")
The Spanish Inquisition? \ ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/10 "2012-12-19T17:01:02Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > The Spanish Inquisition? Aha! _Nobody_ expects the Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/11 "2012-12-19T17:17:17Z")
Somebody did. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/12 "2012-12-19T18:19:19Z")
I love ancient humor. Nothing helps me think of these people as \*real \*so much as hearing a joke from their lives. Graffiti on a bar wall in (Herculaneum or Pompei): _Everybody writes on barroom walls but me_. According to a friend of mine, the “Say goodnight, Gracie” joke was done in ancient Greece, but I don’t know if that’s true - I don’t know if the language supports putting a person’s name on the end of a command like that. I liked parts of Aristophane’s “The Birds,” but a lot of it just seemed like “get an unpopular stereotype on stage, and then flog him,” which doesn’t appeal to me. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/13 "2012-12-19T18:24:24Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Or the man who joined a silent order, the rule was he could say two words to the Abbot every five years, so after the first five years he said “Bed hard” and was given a slightly thicker mattress, after another five years he said “Porridge cold” and was moved half a dozen places up the breakfast queue. Five years later again he said “Leaving now” and the Abbot said “Just as well - you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here”. I came in to post this joke. Still tickles me every time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/14 "2012-12-19T18:53:10Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Graffiti on a bar wall in (Herculaneum or Pompei): _Everybody writes on barroom walls but me_. Hmm… I’m pretty sure we had a thread here years ago that linked to pictures of such ancient graffiti jokes, and their translation. Some of the humour was quite bathroomish if I recall. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/15 "2012-12-19T23:26:07Z")
> [@agent foxtrot](#): > > i came in to post this joke. Still tickles me every time. :d 37! 62! 19! ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/16 "2012-12-19T23:34:55Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Hmm… I’m pretty sure we had a thread here years ago that linked to pictures of such ancient graffiti jokes, and their translation. Some of the humour was quite bathroomish if I recall. It may be a shock, but digestin’ And functioning of the intestine Aren’t recent inventions, And back then, rude mentions Weren’t any the less interestin’. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/17 "2012-12-19T23:42:21Z")
> [@Cats\_pajamas](#): > > The OP is about a 1,000 year old joke translated to a version of English most of us can understand. And, that is the novelty of the thing—the joke is authentic, as if from the mouth of time itself. > > But, what’s this! More recent versions of the same drollery, possibly overheard while waiting in the check-out line at Walmart, are apparently as fascinating as the ancient specimen. > > Go, internet! I doubt that basic humour has changed all that much in the past few thousand years. That 1000-year-old joke (and it’s a good one) is still being told in various forms, that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/18 "2012-12-19T23:50:55Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > I doubt that basic humour has changed all that much in the past few thousand years. Knock-knock. Who’s there? PENIS! Yeah, not changed much at all. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/19 "2012-12-20T02:17:03Z")
> [@Sam\_A.Robrin](#): > > 37! > 62! > 19! Hey! Those are all slight variations on the same joke! ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514/20 "2012-12-20T03:20:07Z")
> [@Sam\_A.Robrin](#): > > 37! > 62! > 19! You’re not telling it right! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-000-year-old-irish-joke/644514.md?page=2)