# 1.7 Metre-Long Squid Approaches 8 Year Old Girl. Offers Candy. Newslink **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 1, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611 "2006-03-01T14:07:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/21 "2006-03-02T03:24:31Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Ack, is it the long dreaded rising of the old ones? Are these his Minions? > You know who I mean. We’re expecting a storm tonight. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to see if the stars are right. But one thing is sure- the Old Ones were! The Old Ones are! The Old Ones Will yet be! He waits and dreams in the deep, and the cities of man shall fall before him! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/22 "2006-03-02T03:33:26Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Of course she was in danger! Anyone who has spent any time in the Pacific Northwest can tell you that mollusks are plotting to take over the world. Hmm. My son’s science teacher sometimes wears a t-shirt that says, “Hail Squid Overlords”. I’ve got to pay closer attention to him during parent/teacher meetings. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/23 "2006-03-02T03:44:31Z")
Now, y’see I though R’lyeh was on the other side of South America. That’s fighting ignorance for ya. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/24 "2006-03-02T03:56:53Z")
There is but one R’lyeh. But many are the cities built by the true rulers of this world. Do not the Deep Ones dwell in Yha Nthlei off the coast of Insmouth? Do not the Elder Things, who created life on this planet as a jest, still raise up their strange cities in the lightless depths where men dare not go? Are not there shrines to Father Dagon and Mother Hydra in every ocean and do not supplicants still swim to do blasphemous worship? Man is adrift in a sea of ignorance, and it is not meant that he should voyage far. If you could perceive but the smallest fraction of ancient and obscene things that swim and wait, and hunger to destroy us- then your mind would shatter. You know nothing, less than nothing. Be glad it is so. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/25 "2006-03-02T04:01:45Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > There is but one R’lyeh. But many are the cities built by the true rulers of this world. Do not the Deep Ones dwell in Yha Nthlei off the coast of Insmouth? Do not the Elder Things, who created life on this planet as a jest, still raise up their strange cities in the lightless depths where men dare not go? Are not there shrines to Father Dagon and Mother Hydra in every ocean and do not supplicants still swim to do blasphemous worship? > > Man is adrift in a sea of ignorance, and it is not meant that he should voyage far. If you could perceive but the smallest fraction of ancient and obscene things that swim and wait, and hunger to destroy us- then your mind would shatter. You know nothing, less than nothing. Be glad it is so. Ok, now you really are beginning to scare me. {{Shudder}} Jim ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/26 "2006-03-02T04:07:29Z")
> [@Tikki](#): > > \*\*Inigo, \*\*you don’t know how right you are! They _ **are** _ amongst us and are duping the unwary into strengthening their handhold (uh, tenticlehold) on land! I give you the story of the[Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus!](http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/) Is this some kind of running joke? A new version of a snipe hunt? A search shows several sites with info on this thing. What’s the Straight Dope on this? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/27 "2006-03-02T04:11:50Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Ok, now you really are beginning to scare me. > > {{Shudder}} > > Jim Just be greatful you live in Central New Jersey. The Jersey Devil? A charming myth and nothing more. Real monsters wait not in the Barrens, but in the sea. Now, the Jersey shore is a vacation spot. Every summer families come to enjoy the sea and the sun. But not far down, closer than you’d like to think, it is endless night. Elders, nearly as old as the very sea, rule from the abysses. They wait, with endless patience. When the stars are right, the gates shall open again. They shall rise up and drag man, a tresspasser, an infection, down into the sea. We are like insects feeding on a sleaping beast. When the beast wakes, we will not only cease to exist, there will be no sign we had ever been. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/28 "2006-03-02T04:16:00Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Just be greatful you live in Central New Jersey. The Jersey Devil? A charming myth and nothing more. Real monsters wait not in the Barrens, but in the sea. Now, the Jersey shore is a vacation spot. Every summer families come to enjoy the sea and the sun. But not far down, closer than you’d like to think, it is endless night. Elders, nearly as old as the very sea, rule from the abysses. They wait, with endless patience. When the stars are right, the gates shall open again. They shall rise up and drag man, a tresspasser, an infection, down into the sea. We are like insects feeding on a sleaping beast. When the beast wakes, we will not only cease to exist, there will be no sign we had ever been. Well if they try coming on a Friday in the Summer, the traffic will stop them at least. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/29 "2006-03-02T04:24:19Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > We are like insects feeding on a sleaping beast. When the beast wakes, we will not only cease to exist, there will be no sign we had ever been. OK, I’m calling Conan the Barbarian Spell Checker. He whacks giant squid and can spell “calamari”. Extra garlic butter for Cuthulu. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/30 "2006-03-02T04:37:07Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > Is this some kind of running joke? A new version of a snipe hunt? A search shows several sites with info on this thing. > What’s the Straight Dope on this? The tree octopus is real. The site is not. The evolution of an octopus species which exploits trees has long been predicted. Dougal Dickson included “squibbons” in The Future Is Wild. It seems he erred only in saying that such a species was billions of years in the future rather than a mere score. The following are all documented, non-controversial facts- Many species of octopus can survive for long periods out of water. Their primary problem is drying out. Many species are highly inteligent. There is a noted case of an octopus opening the lid of its tank, climbing out, opening another tank, eating the fish, then climbing back into its own tank and closing the lid. There is an octopus in a Japanese aquarium who learned how to open jars. He is now routinely given jars of fish so that crowds can observe. Those tentacles are strong. They can easily hold the octopus’ weight. Some species of octopus are extremely compressible. They can pass through small holes, and get into small cracks. The only limit is their beak. Octopi are VERY shy. Octopi must be very carefully introduced to a new tank. Otherwise, they will hide somewhere and starve to death. If they have no place to hide, they die from stress. Finally, many species are able to change color just like the squids in the articles linked above. The following are controversial The findings of numerous octopus beaks, octopus droppings, and other evidence in the forests of the Pacific Northwest. Skeptics say that either these were planted by pranksters, or are merely evidence of birds taking a catch inland before eating. Eye witness sightings of tree octopi. (Even though I believe the species does exist, I don’t hold these sightings as credible either) There are some photographs of tree octopi. Skeptics say that the ones clearly showing an octopus are faked, and claim that photos of camouflaged octopi show blurs, leaves etc. Rather than face scorn and ridicule for stating their belief in the Tree Octopus, many people post exaggerated joke sites like the ones you’ve seen. I find it disgusting. I said I believed in giant squid. It took years, but we have plenty of proof they exist. The Goblin Shark was just a legend once. We have specimens now. I believe that the Tree Octopus exists. I know science will prove me right. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/31 "2006-03-02T04:46:37Z")
I was reading with some interest until I got to [Save The Mountain Walrus](http://web.archive.org/web/20020124024407/http://www.end.com/~jynx/walrus/). The part about them running down and feeding on elk and horses really got me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/32 "2006-03-02T13:32:46Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > We’re expecting a storm tonight. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to see if the stars are right. > > But one thing is sure- the Old Ones were! The Old Ones are! The Old Ones Will yet be! > > He waits and dreams in the deep, and the cities of man shall fall before him! But, do not forget the _other_ Eldrich Text: > [@](#): > > Within this vale > Of toil > And sin > Your head grows bald > But not your chin–use > Burma-Shave 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/33 "2006-03-02T14:02:52Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > octopi Doc, you’re on a roll here but…um…octo **podes**. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/34 "2006-03-02T14:12:54Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Doc, you’re on a roll here but…um…octo **podes**. 1. Haven’t we had the argument over Octopi vs octo **podes**. 2. Does this mean DocCathode might really be Doc Oct? 3. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Jim ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/35 "2006-03-02T14:17:08Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > 1. Does this mean DocCathode might really be Doc Oct? EEEEEK! He’s one of THEM!!! My mind is melting!!! Waaaaaaaahhhhh…buubba buubba buubba buubba buubba buubba buubba buubba buubba … ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/36 "2006-03-02T14:18:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Man is adrift in a sea of ignorance, and it is not meant that he should voyage far. Man is a adrift in a sea of ignorance on a cruise ship for a three hour tour. Someone else here probably has the video linkie goodness to the Squid in the Aquarium VS a shark. Squid:1 Shark: Zero. Good times. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/37 "2006-03-02T14:28:18Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Someone else here probably has the video linkie goodness to the Squid in the Aquarium VS a shark. Squid:1 Shark: Zero. I want to see that more than the two episodes of 24 season 2 I’m missing. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/38 "2006-03-02T14:35:59Z")
Song: What If Cthulhu Was One Of Us Lyrics If Cthulhu had a name what would it be? And would you call it to its octupusian face? If you were faced with it In all its horror What would you scream if you had just one breath left? \*And yeah, yeah, Cthulhu is great Yeah, yeah, Cthulhu is evil Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah What if Cthulhu was one of us? Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the train Trying to take over our home If Cthulhu had a face what would it look like? And would you want to see If seeing meant that you would have to believe in things like R’lyeh and Cheney and the Great Old Ones and all the cultists Trying to make its way home Back up to R’lyeh all alone Nobody calling on the phone 'cept for Hastur, maybe in Hyades Just trying to make its way home Like a unholy rolling stone Back down to R’lyeh all alone Just trying to make its way home Nobody calling on the phone 'cept for Hastur, maybe in Hyades Jim ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/39 "2006-03-02T14:48:37Z")
Is this it, [Shirley?](http://www.addict3d.org/index.php?page=viewarticle&type=news&ID=12093&title=Giant%20squid%20eating%20a%20shark) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611/40 "2006-03-02T14:53:45Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Is this it, [Shirley?](http://www.addict3d.org/index.php?page=viewarticle&type=news&ID=12093&title=Giant%20squid%20eating%20a%20shark) Awesome link, but whoever is hosting the video screwed up and called it Giant squid eating a shark. They narrator definitely says Giants Octopus and it sure looks like a Giant Octopus. Jim [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1-7-metre-long-squid-approaches-8-year-old-girl-offers-candy-newslink/346611.md?page=3)