# 10,000 Bc **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 22, 2007, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901 "2007-12-22T04:08:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/21 "2007-12-23T00:25:24Z")
[QUOTE=Manduck] All I really needed to see was that it was a Roland Emmerich movie. His movies are always crowd-pleasing logic-free cheesefests, like Independence Day, Stargate, Godzilla (remake) etc. [/QUOTE] Well, poop. I hadn’t noticed that. I have yet to really enjoy a film by Emmerich. There’s dumb, and then there’s Emmerich-level dumb. I don’t have a problem with cavemen fighting dinosaurs on screen, but Emmerich takes this sort of brain-wrenchingly stupid plot device to such a Platonic level of purity that I’m unable to follow. Is it possible to make a sword-and-sandal movie dumber than Conan? Yes, it is; and I feel certain that Emmerich will show us the way. Maybe the hero miraculously invents gunpowder and kills the dinosaurs by blowing them up. I have a sneaky suspicion that Emmerich’s directorial and scriptwriting career is based on an elaborate postmodern philosophy of film deconstruction. He’s taking the science fiction movies of yesteryear, which often featured painfully bogus science even by the standards of the time, and recreating them on a lavish budget with modern technology. This in itself is an eminently worthy goal, but he’s missing a fundamental truth about those movies: the scripts were stupid because their writers weren’t very good. It’s one thing to appreciate the good intentions of cheesy movies made on a shoestring budget, but reproducing them in a manner that improves every aspect of filmmaking except the actual script and acting seems like kind of a wasted opportunity, unless your real goal is to make fun of the industry itself. But if you’re the one responsible for cranking out these bloated blockbusters with laughable scripts and hammy non-actors, then you’re really the problem, and you’re just making fun of yourself. If you’re going to update these films for contemporary audiences by giving them state-of-the-art effects technology, you could also hire the talented scriptwriters that the earlier films couldn’t afford. These summer blockbuster movies, unlike the old sci-fi B-movies, have lavish budgets and represent a huge studio investment. Why not go that extra mile and give them a sensible, solid, plot hole-free, non-stupid script? Try making them good movies in every sense. The effects may not last forever, but a good script will. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/22 "2007-12-23T00:38:53Z")
They tried to fit in some car chases, but the actors’ feet got tired. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/23 "2007-12-23T02:18:53Z")
[QUOTE=gatorman] Didn’t mammoths go extinct around 13,000 B.C.? What the hell are they doing in this film?? And the whole ancient Egypt thing, good lord… :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Mammoths? Dude, the movie includes a city. In 10,000 BC, there was no _civilization_. No walled cities, no armies, nothing like that. No agriculture, without which those things cannot exist. I mean, who cares about accuracy? It’s going to suck, and it’s going to suck bad, no matter how historically inaccurate is. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/24 "2007-12-23T03:20:03Z")
[QUOTE=Manduck] All I really needed to see was that it was a Roland Emmerich movie. His movies are always crowd-pleasing logic-free cheesefests, like Independence Day, Stargate, Godzilla (remake) etc. [/QUOTE] Godzilla? Crowd-pleasing? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/25 "2007-12-23T03:26:16Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] No walled cities, no armies, nothing like that. No agriculture, without which those things cannot exist. [/QUOTE] Well, yes, agriculture…_or aliens!_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/26 "2007-12-23T03:27:22Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Mammoths? Dude, the movie includes a city. In 10,000 BC, there was no _civilization_. No walled cities, no armies, nothing like that. No agriculture, without which those things cannot exist. [/QUOTE] Actually, we’re not sure which came first: cities or agriculture. But, yeah, this looks like a crazy patchwork of psuedo-anthropology. The dialog sounds extremely corny, too. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/27 "2007-12-23T04:02:48Z")
Omar [Shariff?](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443649/) Who cares if there were no cities in 10,000 BCE. If people can call a PC a “hard drive”, anything goes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/28 "2007-12-23T04:13:51Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Omar [Shariff?](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443649/) [/QUOTE] He’s an alien. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/29 "2007-12-23T04:27:52Z")
We’re in an era of movies with giant budgets, brilliant technicians, and crappy, poorly-constructed (or else entirely formulaic), dull-witted scripts. (I was going to say “B-movie scripts”, but in fact there are a lot of enjoyable B-movies with some interesting writing.) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/30 "2007-12-23T04:29:42Z")
Er, yes. Of course. Doctor Zhivago, Tsar Peter the Great, but…_spoiler_? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/31 "2007-12-23T04:51:19Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Er, yes. Of course. Doctor Zhivago, Tsar Peter the Great, but…_spoiler_? [/QUOTE] Hey, the dude’s got a _serious_ gambling problem. He’s admitted that several of the movies he’s done, he never once saw his paycheck from them, having to have the paymaster make it out to the casino where he lost all of his money while making the film. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/32 "2007-12-23T04:56:32Z")
I think I’ll wait and see how Graham Hancock rates the movie. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/33 "2007-12-23T05:00:37Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Hey, the dude’s got a _serious_ gambling problem. [/QUOTE] How do you go from running the family [lumberyard](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001725/bio) to _Lawrence of Arabia_? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/34 "2007-12-23T05:05:43Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] How do you go from running the family [lumberyard](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001725/bio) to _Lawrence of Arabia_? [/QUOTE] I told you, he’s an _alien!_ ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/35 "2007-12-23T05:17:14Z")
I wait for cable. Should happen around June. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/36 "2007-12-23T06:27:58Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] I predict this movie will be exactly 1/100 as entertaining as the movie **One Million Years BC**. Which should still be reasonably entertaining. [/QUOTE] That would make Raquel Welch’s breast size … :eek: The only two things really entertaining about that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/37 "2007-12-23T16:33:57Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Godzilla? Crowd-pleasing? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Well, to be fair, we did get to see Maria Patillo naked. Oh wait… no we didn’t! ☹ Anyone know if there’s gonna be boobies in this film? If so, I’m in! Looks trashy enough to kill an afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/38 "2007-12-23T16:36:48Z")
[QUOTE=Astroboy14] Well, to be fair, we did get to see Maria Patillo naked. Oh wait… no we didn’t! ☹ Anyone know if there’s gonna be boobies in this film? If so, I’m in! Looks trashy enough to kill an afternoon. [/QUOTE] It’s PG-13, so I’m going out on a limb and say, “No.” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/39 "2007-12-24T00:35:24Z")
I think it has definitely got that Stargate feel, betya it will gross more than Stargate and Independence Day on its opening weekend. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901/40 "2007-12-24T00:44:15Z")
This is like Roland Emmerich’s Serenity/Firefly. I see a certain historical consistency to it. It’s that in-between time… an Atlanteaen Myth, seems like fun, and those CGI Mammoths are awesome. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-000-bc/430901.md?page=3)