# 10 hours of street harassment **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317 "2015-07-05T16:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/41 "2015-07-09T16:07:24Z")
Specifically, I think that you have imagined yourself to be offended by a lot of people in this thread who ain’t here. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/42 "2015-07-09T16:18:39Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Specifically, I think that you have imagined yourself to be offended by a lot of people in this thread who ain’t here. “Here’s what men cannot seem to understand, [note absence of qualifiers] and that all women [note that the fact that every woman is included in this sweeping generalization and that the ‘fact’ that there are no exceptions is underscored by the word ‘all’] know from bitter experience.” Did I imagine this appearing upthread? Some men probably do not “understand”; many women may indeed “know” what men “really mean” when they make these comments and many women have had experiences that preceded this idea, but no. It is not all men, probably not even most. of those that do not understand, probably some could if it was explained to them, and not all women are frightened and intimidated by remarks directed toward them. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/43 "2015-07-09T16:33:54Z")
Oh. So: not all men. I see. It seems like you have a problem with **elbows** using mild hyperbole, but you don’t have a problem adding your own heaping of inflammatory modifiers. Who said anyone was “frightened and intimidated by remarks,” let alone “all women?” ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/44 "2015-07-09T16:58:05Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Oh. So: not all men. I see. > > It seems like you have a problem with **elbows** using mild hyperbole, but you don’t have a problem adding your own heaping of inflammatory modifiers. Who said anyone was “frightened and intimidated by remarks,” let alone “all women?” What did you mean when you said “any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions”? I am a human being–a human woman, even! I enjoy walking around in heavily populated areas and people’s remarks seldom detract from that enjoyment. I do not feel vulnerable or uncomfortable when men make silly comments to me. I definitely do not want anyone following me or attempting to force interaction on me, but I still do not feel vulnerable in those situations, as I know the risk of actual physical harm is very low. When you agree with what someone says, any generalization of an entire group of people is mere “hyperbole,” whereas things you disagree with are “inflammatory.” Got it. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/45 "2015-07-09T18:26:45Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > What did you mean when you said “any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions”? > > I am a human being–a human woman, even! I enjoy walking around in heavily populated areas and people’s remarks seldom detract from that enjoyment. I do not feel vulnerable or uncomfortable when men make silly comments to me. I definitely do not want anyone following me or attempting to force interaction on me, but I still do not feel vulnerable in those situations, as I know the risk of actual physical harm is very low. > > When you agree with what someone says, any generalization of an entire group of people is mere “hyperbole,” whereas things you disagree with are “inflammatory.” Got it. Can’t you just shut up and be white-knighted, already? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/46 "2015-07-09T21:32:17Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Can’t you just shut up and be white-knighted, already? 😃 Seriously … it was a close call. There was a man getting ready to smile and tip his hat toward you. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/47 "2015-07-09T21:45:43Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Can’t you just shut up and be white-knighted, already? 😃 I’m not defending anyone or their dumb opinions. The idea that this video was some sort of attempt to shame black men is completely off base. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/48 "2015-07-10T00:13:32Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > I’m a woman. I often hear similar things, and I consider some of these harassment and some not. If someone else feels harassed by all of them, that is their experience and it’s perfectly valid, but so is mine. I don’t care if random men speak to me, unless they are threatening or demanding. Anyone who seems to be purposely following me is definitely disturbing, telling me to smile or complaining if I don’t respond as they wish is annoying, but a silly compliment or “have a nice day” just isn’t upsetting to me in the slightest and does not make me feel vulnerable. I feel happy and confident walking around and see no benefit in assuming a dangerous subtext to every remark I hear. > > The whole “men don’t get it” and “all women know this” rhetoric is tiresome. These types of generalities and stereotypes are offensive and serve no positive purpose. > > I also don’t understand the attitude of exasperated annoyance so many people on this board have towards a topic they don’t want to discuss. I guess some of you have a membership plan that obligates you to reply to every thread and the relentlessness of this chore has made you bitter and angry. Im glad I haven’t been forced into such a situation, as it must be very difficult. If you need signatures for a petition for relief from this burden, you can count on my support. I don’t get it either. On most days, most of the topics on SDMB are, well… boring. So I look for the ones that seem interesting, or start a thread of my own. Or do something different. What I don’t do is go on other people’s threads and make angry comments about how they shouldn’t be talking about whatever they’re talking about. That would be stupid. On “men don’t get it”: I’m happy to hear about something I don’t know about, especially if it’s important. But I don’t think that being either a man or a woman automatically makes someone’s perspectives valid or invalid. And if you’re honestly concerned about people “not getting it”, my suggestion would be to politely explain it. Dismissing people, on the other hand, because they’ve only ever been one gender, is counter-productive. As I said earlier, where I live people often exchange pleasantries. It’s just common curtesy. Heck, sometimes people even tell me to “smile”. (Which I admit is a bit annoying, because it implies I had an unfriendly look, without knowing it.) But claiming that any and all comments, at least from men to women, are automatically sexual harassment seems, well, insane to me. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/49 "2015-07-10T00:23:38Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > And if you’re honestly concerned about people “not getting it”, my suggestion would be to politely explain it. Dismissing people, on the other hand, because they’ve only ever been one gender, is counter-productive. So now it’s our fault for not explaining it to you politely??? ---
**Author:** ![JVDaly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@JVDaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JVDaly)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/50 "2015-07-10T00:29:07Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Oh. So: not all men. I see. What’s wrong with that objection? Objecting to baseless sweeping generalisations is perfectly valid. When some deranged Muslim blows up a bus or shoots three dozen holidaymakers on a beach because he thinks his kill-crazy desert superdaddy will give him a fucking pat on the head for it, people start #notallmusliming left, right, and centre, especially round here. Why can’t a man object to disparaging generalisations about all men without getting the kind of haughty, eye-rolling ‘Here we go again’ type of response that would be roundly condemned when offered in response to a similar defence of any other group? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/51 "2015-07-10T01:36:59Z")
> [@JVDaly](#): > > What’s wrong with that objection? Objecting to baseless sweeping generalisations is perfectly valid. When some deranged Muslim blows up a bus or shoots three dozen holidaymakers on a beach because he thinks his kill-crazy desert superdaddy will give him a fucking pat on the head for it, people start #notallmusliming left, right, and centre, especially round here. Why can’t a man object to disparaging generalisations about all men without getting the kind of haughty, eye-rolling ‘Here we go again’ type of response that would be roundly condemned when offered in response to a similar defence of any other group? AnaMan is a woman not a man, she is relating her real world experiences of walking while female which does not correlate with the previously expressed notion based on “bitter experience” that practically every non-solicited greeting or acknowledgement of her presence or appearance by men regardless of how seeming courteous, fleeting or deferential is actually probing her sexual receptivity. What did you mean when you said “any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions”? > [@](#): > > I am a human being–a human woman, even! I enjoy walking around in heavily populated areas and people’s remarks seldom detract from that enjoyment. I do not feel vulnerable or uncomfortable when men make silly comments to me. I definitely do not want anyone following me or attempting to force interaction on me, but I still do not feel vulnerable in those situations, as I know the risk of actual physical harm is very low. > > When you agree with what someone says, any generalization of an entire group of people is mere “hyperbole,” whereas things you disagree with are “inflammatory.” Got it. ---
**Author:** ![JVDaly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@JVDaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JVDaly)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/52 "2015-07-10T01:44:08Z")
> [@astro](#): > > AnaMan is a woman not a man, she is relating her real world experiences of walking while female which does not correlate with the previously expressed notion based on “bitter experience” that practically every non-solicited greeting or acknowledgement of her presence by men regardless of how seeming courteous, fleeting or deferential is actually probing her sexual receptivity. Okay…but what does that have to do with what I wrote? Forgive me for being dense, but I don’t see it. AnaMen objected to elbows’ sweeping generalisation of all men and Jimmy Chitwood responded ‘Oh. I see. Not all men’. As in ‘Yeah, yeah #notallmen :rolleyes: Change the record’. I was objecting to Jimmy’s blasé dismissal of AnaMen’s valid point. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/53 "2015-07-10T01:51:22Z")
> [@JVDaly](#): > > Okay…but what does that have to do with what I wrote? Forgive me for being dense, but I don’t see it. AnaMen objected to elbows’ sweeping generalisation of all men and Jimmy Chitwood responded ‘Oh. I see. Not all men’. As in ‘Yeah, yeah #notallmen :rolleyes: Change the record’. > > I was objecting to Jimmy’s blasé dismissal of AnaMen’s valid point. I wasn’t contradicting you. I was correcting her gender and noting the fact that she is a \*woman \*expressing this opinion based on her real life experience and that makes it especially on point. ---
**Author:** ![JVDaly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@JVDaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JVDaly)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/54 "2015-07-10T01:53:08Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I wasn’t contradicting you. I was correcting her gender and noting the fact that she is a \*woman \*expressing this opinion based on her real life experience and that makes it especially on point. Ah, sorry. I get it now. Thanks for the correction. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/55 "2015-07-10T02:42:13Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by LinusK View Post > > I was very surprised after watching it. I expected to be horrified. But, many of the comments were: “Have a nice day” “Hello” “What’s up” and similar comments. > > > > I don’t remotely consider this street harassment. People say things like this to me every single day. I say, “You too” “Hi” and “Not much”. I usually smile, or nod my head, when I’m doing it. I don’t remotely consider it street harassment, or harassment of any kind. > > The exercise is already bankrupt here. Already the “discussion” you’re looking for can’t be a good faith one. Like you said, it’s only two minutes. So why mischaracterize it like this? I’m not sure why you thing the “exercise” is “bankrupt”. The only clue you’ve given is that it’s “only two minutes”. I think - please correct me if I’m wrong - you’re implying that all ten hours were like the 2 minutes shown. Of course, I can’t prove it, since I don’t have access to the other 9 hours and 58 minutes, but I think it’s a safe guess, given the context of the video, (and that they’re asking for donations) that the 2 minutes represented the worst interactions they could pull, from the ten hours they filmed. > [@](#): > > Here’s every comment from the video, just the words: > > > [@](#): > > > > [ul] > > [li]“How you doing today? Smile. I guess not good. Smile!”[/li][li]“What’s up, beautiful? Have a good day.”[/li][li]“Hey what’s up girl? How you doing? Somebody’s acknowledging you for being beautiful. You should say thank you more! For real?”[/li][li]“God bless you mami… damn.”[/li][li]“Hey baby.”[/li][li]“Hey beautiful.”[/li][li]“How are you this morning?”[/li][li]“Have a nice evening.”[/li][li]“Nice.”[/li][li]“Damn. Damn!”[/li][li]“Hi beautiful. Sexy! American Eagle!”[/li][li]“Hello good morning. God bless you; have a good day, all right?”[/li][li]“Damn.”[/li][li]“How you doing?”[/li][li]“How you doing, good?”[/li][li]“Sweetie?”[/li][li]“Hey, lookit there, I just saw a thousand dollars!”[/li][li]“Damn, girl.”[/li][li]“You don’t want to talk? Because I’m ugly? Huh? We can’t be friends? Nothing? You don’t speak? If I give you my number, would you talk to me? Too ugly for you?”[/li][li]“What’s up, miss?”[/li][li]“How you doing?”[/li][li]“Have a nice evening, darling.”[/li][/ul] > > Two things about this. First, the obvious point: it’s disingenuous beyond any further need for reasonable argument to pretend that the verbal content of those interactions is what’s important. Oh, all the guy did was say good morning, and that’s harassment? How absurd! Except he followed her for at least a few blocks. Focusing on the words ignores the fact that they’re staring at her ass, or following her, or approaching her, or circling behind her, or that they’re shifting tone from solicitous and mild to aggressive and demanding. All of these things are obvious. But your blithe “many of the comments” overlooks them entirely. Almost as if in support of an agenda. What agenda? > [@](#): > > That’s the obvious reason your position is bankrupt - harassment is conduct, not words . No, harassment could be either words or conduct. > [@](#): > > But here’s the other thing. Even just by the words alone, you are outright not telling the truth when you say that you’ve ever had an experience like this one. Could you please point out where I said I’ve “had an experience like this one”? And if not, why are you claiming I said something I didn’t say? > [@](#): > > It isn’t true. And you’re saying it happens to you every single day. It has never happened to you, ever. What has happened to you is that somebody says hello or good morning or how are you. That’s right. And that’s what I said: > [@](#): > > I was very surprised after watching it. I expected to be horrified. But, many of the comments were: “Have a nice day” “Hello” “What’s up” and similar comments… People say things like this to me every single day. Do you see what’s happened here? [ol] [li] **You lied about what I said.** [/li][li]\*\*You called me a liar. \*\*(For saying something you imagined in your head, _but I never actually said._)[/li][li] **You told me what I had _really_ experienced.** [/li][li] **Which was what what _I’d actually said I’d experienced in the first place_.** [/li][/ol] > [@](#): > > Nobody has ever spoken to you the way that woman was being spoken to. I’m not sure what to make of this. If you mean to say I’ve never been verbally abused, or physically intimidated (or, for that matter, physically assaulted), you’d be wrong. If you mean nobody’s ever said, “Hey beautiful,” or “God bless you, mami,” you’d be right. > [@](#): > > [Of course, you left an out - you said that people say things like “many” of those comments, right? Not that you have actually had that experience. Then why bring it up? It’s obvious why. It’s obvious to me. Because I’m the one who said it, and I know why I said it. I have no idea what evil intention **you** think I have. Feel free to tell me, if you like. > [@](#): > > People aren’t engaging you on this because why bother? Actually, **you** are engaging with me. So, why are you bothering? And why are you doing it so disingenously? > [@](#): > > You’ve already showed your hand. What is it? > [@](#): > > You must know the position you’re going to have to explain away (which is the obvious god-damned position that any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions in the course of a single day), and and you’ve already explained it away by pretending that what’s happening in that video is anything like anything you’ve ever experienced, because the bare words of at least “many” of those interactions can be equated to the bare words of interactions you’ve had. I’m having trouble parsing this paragraph. It’s obvious you’re accusing me of something, but I’m not sure quite what. Feel free to state the accusation plainly, if you like. > [@](#): > > You have, essentially, preemptively said you aren’t willing to consider what it’s actually like to be that woman. Uh, no… I haven’t. You, however, have demonstrated that you’re either unable or unwilling to read what I actually write. > [@](#): > > And that’s the only important thing here. So why bother? If this is the quality of content that typical for you, I’d encourage you to stop bothering. Why not just go on believing I’m whatever monster you’ve conjured up in your head? ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/56 "2015-07-10T02:46:14Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Why not just go on believing I’m whatever monster you’ve conjured up in your head? Because you watched the same video we did and your response is that there was nothing for the young woman to object to in the way that she was treated ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/57 "2015-07-10T03:23:32Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Because you watched the same video we did and your response is that there was nothing for the young woman to object to in the way that she was treated No, that’s not what I said. Here’s what I said: > [@](#): > > I expected to be horrified. But, many of the comments were: “Have a nice day” “Hello” “What’s up” and similar comments. I’m embarrassed to have to do this, but given the tenor of the thread, I think I must: I condemn street harassment. I condemn insulting women. I condemn intimidating women. I condemn walking beside a woman for 5 minutes while looking pervy. I condemn making comments about strangers’ bodies on the streets, or anywhere else. I condemn relentlessly asking for a phone number, making comments like “is it because I’m ugly?” or otherwise making a stranger uncomfortable on the street. Women should have the same right and ability to walk in public as anyone else. My OP was NOT: “It’s perfectly fine to harass women on the street.” It was, “I was surprised what I saw was not as horrible as I expected,” (Meaning: I expected to see some really horrible shit.) Combined with, "Some of what they were calling “harassment” wasn’t even “harassment”. Maybe it’s impossible to discuss this subject. Maybe the well’s already too poisoned. I was certainly not prepared for the shit storm after I posted. But it’s not all bad. I have, at least, learned something. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/58 "2015-07-10T03:27:43Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > I condemn street harassment. I condemn insulting women. I condemn intimidating women. I condemn walking beside a woman for 5 minutes while looking pervy. I condemn making comments about strangers’ bodies on the streets, or anywhere else. I condemn relentlessly asking for a phone number, making comments like “is it because I’m ugly?” or otherwise making a stranger uncomfortable on the street. Women should have the same right and ability to walk in public as anyone else. Your reaction to the video > [@](#): > > I don’t remotely consider this street harassment. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/59 "2015-07-10T11:56:43Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > No, that’s not what I said. Here’s what I said: > > I’m embarrassed to have to do this, but given the tenor of the thread, I think I must: > > I condemn street harassment. I condemn insulting women. I condemn intimidating women. I condemn walking beside a woman for 5 minutes while looking pervy. I condemn making comments about strangers’ bodies on the streets, or anywhere else. I condemn relentlessly asking for a phone number, making comments like “is it because I’m ugly?” or otherwise making a stranger uncomfortable on the street. Women should have the same right and ability to walk in public as anyone else. > > My OP was NOT: “It’s perfectly fine to harass women on the street.” > > It was, “I was surprised what I saw was not as horrible as I expected,” (Meaning: I expected to see some really horrible shit.) Combined with, "Some of what they were calling “harassment” wasn’t even “harassment”. > > Maybe it’s impossible to discuss this subject. Maybe the well’s already too poisoned. I was certainly not prepared for the shit storm after I posted. > > But it’s not all bad. I have, at least, learned something. My view – many women (not all, but many I’ve spoken to and heard from or read) have told me that being greeted/approached by strange men on the street or in public transportation makes them uncomfortable, _even if they say something innocuous like “have a nice day”_. Because it costs me nothing to refrain from doing so, I have stopped doing so. I don’t say “hello” to strange women on the street (or on the train or bus) unless they say it to me, because I have no interest in even a small chance of making someone feel uncomfortable. I still might nod and smile at women I pass by, because I’ve never heard or read from women that this makes them feel uncomfortable. But I don’t say anything to them, because _it costs me nothing to not do so_, and I choose not to risk even a small chance of making a woman feel uncomfortable. At least in urban areas, I encourage other men to do the same. I understand it might be different in various rural communities (or even some cities), in which it might be considered rude _not_ to say hello. But in the moderate-to-big cities I’ve spent significant amounts of time in (Vancouver, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Atlanta, Jacksonville FL, Charleston, Providence RI, DC, and NY), I think it’s better for men to not approach/greet strange women on the street or in public transportation. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317/60 "2015-07-10T13:58:16Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > My view – many women (not all, but many I’ve spoken to and heard from or read) have told me that being greeted/approached by strange men on the street or in public transportation makes them uncomfortable, _even if they say something innocuous like “have a nice day”_. Because it costs me nothing to refrain from doing so, I have stopped doing so. I don’t say “hello” to strange women on the street (or on the train or bus) unless they say it to me, because I have no interest in even a small chance of making someone feel uncomfortable. > > I still might nod and smile at women I pass by, because I’ve never heard or read from women that this makes them feel uncomfortable. But I don’t say anything to them, because _it costs me nothing to not do so_, and I choose not to risk even a small chance of making a woman feel uncomfortable. > > At least in urban areas, I encourage other men to do the same. I understand it might be different in various rural communities (or even some cities), in which it might be considered rude _not_ to say hello. But in the moderate-to-big cities I’ve spent significant amounts of time in (Vancouver, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Atlanta, Jacksonville FL, Charleston, Providence RI, DC, and NY), I think it’s better for men to not approach/greet strange women on the street or in public transportation. 100% correct. Appropriate greeting manners are very contextual and situational. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-hours-of-street-harassment/724317.md?page=4)