# 10 motherfucking items or less! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 23, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713 "2008-01-23T20:40:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/41 "2008-01-23T22:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=AngelicGemma] Bet they’d think twice next time though! [/QUOTE] If they didn’t the first time, what makes you think they will the second love? ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/42 "2008-01-23T22:51:26Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] See, I look at three identical items as one, because it is scanned once and then quantitized (I wonder if that will become a real word!) like anything else. Once scan, press qty 3, and so on. [/QUOTE] It’s still three items that they have to count, deal with and bag. My feeling is that unless it can be picked up as a single item (bag of apples, case of tomato soup) it’s more than one item. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/43 "2008-01-23T22:54:45Z")
Hell, one time I was in Winn Dixie with about fourteen or so items in my cart, and there were only two lines open: the empty express lane and a regular lane with four people already in it. I dutifully got into the regular lane, only to be told by the regular lane cashier that the lady in the express lane would be happy to ring me up. I got out of line there, and went to the express lane and started putting my purchases onto the belt. “Ma’am, this is the express lane.” She definitely attempted to enforce the limit, but didn’t push it when I told her I was sent over. Don’t know how she could even tell I was over by around four items when I didn’t even have it all on the belt; must have been part eagle. ---
**Author:** ![the\_PC\_apeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@the\_PC\_apeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_PC_apeman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/44 "2008-01-23T22:57:00Z")
I would go with the kiwifruit. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/45 "2008-01-23T22:57:26Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] If they didn’t the first time, what makes you think they will the second love? [/QUOTE] If it happens every time they try and take their weekly shop through the express lane they’re going to learn at some point, right? Or am i giving these people too much credit? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/46 "2008-01-23T22:59:16Z")
[QUOTE=AngelicGemma] If it happens every time they try and take their weekly shop through the express lane they’re going to learn at some point, right? Or am i giving these people too much credit? [/QUOTE] IMHO, Fuck yes. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/47 "2008-01-23T23:00:13Z")
[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow] Unless it’s egregious (like someone with a cart strolling up to the express lane), I can’t be arsed to count someone else’s groceries. Really, how different is 15 items from 10? [/QUOTE] It’s the principle of the thing. First it’s 15 items in the 10 item lane, next it’s WMDs and noncompliance with UNSC resolutions. Then we all know what happens!!! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/48 "2008-01-23T23:00:13Z")
[QUOTE=Mikemike2] As I have always shopped for one to three days at a time, I do not understand people who can fill a cart. Are there that many expeditions? [/QUOTE] Well, as a stay-at-home sort, I normally only went grocery shopping once a week. I wouldn’t fill up one of the huge carts, but that small one would get pretty full. On my limited income I begrudged the bus fare associated with going grocery shopping, and so tried to make sure that was as small a percentage of my spending that day as possible. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/49 "2008-01-23T23:01:36Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] See, I look at three identical items as one, because it is scanned once and then quantitized (I wonder if that will become a real word!) like anything else. Once scan, press qty 3, and so on. [/QUOTE] I have known cases where the checkers were forbidden to do this. Not sure why; perhaps the higher-ups are afraid that the checker will miscount, or maybe they _really_ need to know that they sold four blueberry, two peach, and one raspberry Colombo fruit-on-the-bottom yoghurts and not seven blueberry… JRB ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/50 "2008-01-23T23:04:33Z")
My guess is the cashier didn’t mention anything to the customer with a surfeit of grocery items is because said cashier isn’t into getting “advice” from the supervisor for upsetting customers. **Kalhoun** : Perhaps you meant [quantitated](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/quantitate)? ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/51 "2008-01-23T23:06:50Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] See, I look at three identical items as one, because it is scanned once and then quantitized (I wonder if that will become a real word!) like anything else. Once scan, press qty 3, and so on. I glance around to see if anyone is in the vicinity with just an item or two. If there’s no one around, i go for the short line. I try to stay at no more than five items more than the limit and I always ask permission from both the checker and folks around me. I also give express butts in line if someone has like two items and I have 8. It all works out in the end. Most people don’t mind if others go over the limit by a few. [/QUOTE] That way lies retail chaos, my friend. Have you no respect for law and order? What about us humble clock radio purchasers who just want to go along to get along? Oh, and for the record, even though I was sorely tempted by the Disney Princess model clock radio that projects stars onto the ceiling of your room while you sleep, I opted for the $11.99 basic Sony model in matte black. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/52 "2008-01-23T23:08:36Z")
If it makes certain people feel better, the big signs at the Whole Foods Market (at least the one in Union Square) have “Express–10 items or Fewer” in big letters. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/53 "2008-01-23T23:08:42Z")
And when did express lanes start to lose the “cash only” thing? I had five items the other week, jumped from a regular lane to an express lane, and then got lane-fucked when the person in front of me decided to defeat the whole purpose of the damned thing. I think three people in the regular lane managed to check out before she found her checkbook and finished writing out the check. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/54 "2008-01-23T23:11:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I have known cases where the checkers were forbidden to do this. Not sure why; perhaps the higher-ups are afraid that the checker will miscount, or maybe they really need to know that they sold four blueberry, two peach, and one raspberry Colombo fruit-on-the-bottom yoghurts and not seven blueberry… > > JRB Well, yeah- those are different items and need to be inventoried separately. Otherwise you end up ordering too much peach. Actually by my estimation, any quantity of peach yoghurt is too much peach yoghurt. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/55 "2008-01-23T23:20:56Z")
[QUOTE=THespos] And when did express lanes start to lose the “cash only” thing? [/QUOTE] Now that you can zip your own credit card through, I think that’s the fastest way to pay. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/56 "2008-01-23T23:22:12Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] Now that you can zip your own credit card through, I think that’s the fastest way to pay. [/QUOTE] Except for the old lady in front of me the other day who couldn’t, for the life of her, hit the right buttons. I hated to switch lanes on the poor ol’ gal, but it was driving me bonkers!! ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/57 "2008-01-23T23:28:52Z")
[QUOTE=Mikemike2] Although I am actually quite careful not to have too many items, I have long lived by the thought that “I do not line up to pay money to businesses.” [/QUOTE] Bless you, kind sir. [Mind-blowing revelation] If more people would respond to seeing that a business is stressed beyond its capacity by either finding another business that is not, or else leaving and returning at a better time, then perhaps businesses would not be stressed beyond their capacity quite so often. [/MBR] Now, if I may add to the OP’s most poignant rant…while most grocery store self-check stations have an item limit posted, some do not. Should this happen to you, here’s a helpful hint: if your grocery cart is filled with items piled to twice its height, the self-check station with two bag racks and a 2’ x 3’ bagging surface is not for you. People buying the functional equivalent of the gross domestic product of small island nations are recommended to make use of the lanes with conveyor belts, cashiers, and dedicated baggers, which are optimized for just such quantities. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/58 "2008-01-23T23:29:25Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] See, I look at three identical items as one, because it is scanned once and then quantitized (I wonder if that will become a real word!) like anything else. Once scan, press qty 3, and so on. [/QUOTE] I’ve noticed that even when I have multiples of identical items the cashiers still scan each one individually. Which is why I end up with receipts as long as my arm when my purchase includes 15 containers of yogurt (five each of three flavors), five cans of chili, etc. Oh, and I was not in the express lane with that order. Not that it really matters much because for some reason that store is never crowded when I go shopping, and sometimes even when I have a half-filled cart the clerk at the empty express lane will call me over when I head for another lane. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/59 "2008-01-23T23:47:35Z")
I’m going to solve both the grammar debate and the “how do you enforce the line” debate in one fell swoop. 😃 [QUOTE=Cluricaun] So that they have to pack up their stuff from the conveyer belt and put it back in their basket or cart, I have to move out of the way, and they have to get huffy? Faster just to check out their 20 items or whatever. [/QUOTE] In the incredibly boring fantasy where I am the owner/operator of a grocery/retail outfit, the express lanes will be fitted with the following signage: _EXPRESS **ONLY** _ **NO MORE THAN** 15 ITEMS if item count exceeds 15, a **ten dollar** penalty will be charged for **each** _STRICTLY ENFORCED_ I would also hire bouncers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713/60 "2008-01-23T23:49:58Z")
[QUOTE=LurkMeister] I’ve noticed that even when I have multiples of identical items the cashiers still scan each one individually. Which is why I end up with receipts as long as my arm when my purchase includes 15 containers of yogurt (five each of three flavors), five cans of chili, etc. Oh, and I was not in the express lane with that order. Not that it really matters much because for some reason that store is never crowded when I go shopping, and sometimes even when I have a half-filled cart the clerk at the empty express lane will call me over when I head for another lane. [/QUOTE] Well, I confess, not all stores do the multi-item. But if I’m paying attention, I’ll stack my 6 cans of beans together and just tell him, “Dude, that’s six of the same item” and they’ll press the multiplier button. Other places, like Walmart, will use the multiplier button on cat food, too. But scanning, is so fast…I don’t see how 10 more items could add more than 10 or 15 seconds to your time in line. I’m not bothered by items as much as I’m bothered by debit card problems or the dreaded “sorry folks, I have to put in a new roll of tape.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-motherfucking-items-or-less/434713.md?page=4)