# 10 Things I Hate About The Speech **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2007, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521 "2007-01-11T06:40:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/81 "2007-01-12T21:44:39Z")
[QUOTE=rjung] The ham-fisted use of the Presidential Library as the setting for the speech. “See, I’m not a mealy-mouthed moron, I’m in an actual library! With books 'n stuff!” [/QUOTE] Do you see what _The Daily Show_ did with that? "The first few words of the president’s speech were not mic’d . . . the country didn’t hear them. But fortunately we at _The Daily Show_ have sound enhancing equipment: BUSH: As you see, I am standing in front of books. Please don’t let them eat me!" 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/82 "2007-01-12T22:29:47Z")
He must have felt uncomfortable to share space with things that have more spine than he ever will have… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/83 "2007-01-12T23:42:31Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] I thought the Fox News (and CNN, for that matter) angle was that Bush was like Lincoln [/QUOTE] Anybody want to buy Bush some theater tickets? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/84 "2007-01-13T01:12:26Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I thought the Fox News (and CNN, for that matter) angle was that Bush was like Lincoln in that respect, firing his generals and taking over when circumstances necessitated it. Yeah, well, that’s what I’d expect from the conservative media. [QUOTE=Marley23] Anybody want to buy Bush some theater tickets? [/QUOTE] Uh, **Marley23?** There are a few folks from the FBI who’d like to speak with you… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/85 "2007-01-13T01:43:48Z")
[QUOTE=rjung] Uh, **Marley23?** There are a few folks from the FBI who’d like to speak with you… [/QUOTE] I’m sure those FBI fellows can take a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/86 "2007-01-13T02:00:45Z")
His speech reminded me of that Applewhite guy’s final speech to the Heaven’s Gate cult as, with absolute sincerity of conviction in the rightness of his cause, he led them all to mass suicide. Same driven look in the eyes, same quivering set of the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/87 "2007-01-13T02:02:28Z")
And there’s a comet in the sky right now. OH _SHIT…!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/88 "2007-01-13T21:59:23Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] He must have felt uncomfortable to share space with things that have more spine than he ever will have… [/QUOTE] To the contrary. W has so much spine he can’t bend. That’s just the problem. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/89 "2007-01-13T22:15:08Z")
Remember that the American people were against the Vietnam War two-to-one from 1968 onward. (Discussed [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=280484&highlight=vietnam)) But we didn’t pull our last troops out until [1974.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_war#Total_U.S._withdrawal) ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/90 "2007-01-13T23:07:03Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] To the contrary. W has so much spine he can’t bend. That’s just the problem. [/QUOTE] Don’t let him deceive you **BG**. Weak willed politicians have long used corn cobs as an artificial substitute for real spine. Yes, that’s unscrupulous, but it _does_ fool a lot of the people a lot of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/91 "2007-01-13T23:25:58Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] I thought the Fox News (and CNN, for that matter) angle was that Bush was like Lincoln in that respect, firing his generals and taking over when circumstances necessitated it. [/QUOTE] Titanic. . .deck chairs. . .fill in the blanks. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/92 "2007-01-14T00:15:47Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Anybody want to buy Bush some theater tickets? [/QUOTE] Tickets? Give him his own booth. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/93 "2007-01-14T00:20:50Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] Tickets? Give him his own booth. [/QUOTE] Yes. The John Wilkes model. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/94 "2007-01-14T00:28:17Z")
I thought the speech needed some improvement, so I ran it through [here](http://www.critters.org/bonsai.html) along with a few other things. It’s a lot more honest than what he actually said, that’s for sure… THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. Tonight in Iraq. We will disrupt the Iraqi government will deploy overseas, where they responded with apples to do. Where are you? So tell me great hero, but please make these changes, we will form a military commander and protect American people – and allies. The question is old - I am the tombstone blues The geometry of the world could bring us closer to success. I addressed you dear lady with a calculated effort will succeed in Iraq. The geometry of Iraq and Syria. These two regimes are me and National Police brigades committed to delivering a new struggle that will pass legislation to the American defeat in the streets With the loss of innocent flesh on the American troops to the Middle East. The Iraqi government tear the top of Congress, we saw what you see, It is the terrorists. America’s men and women in uniform took away al Qaeda leaders, and our grandchildren. This will require increasing American forces in the alley He’s lookin’ for a job, and nations recovering from a dead dog’s eye. Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you See how they smile At people America must expect more Iraqi and the college Now I wish I could ease you and cease the attacks on to other critical areas. Scream thy last scream old woman with a casket In yellow it’s chicken Mama’s in the alley He’s lookin’ for the fuse I’m in the interests of the Middle East. The sun’s not follow through on its what I got, Its what you and cool you are he says to help them to re-establish it addressed these mistakes. Two lovers entwined pass legislation to American security. And on Friday, Secretary Rice will meet regularly with a casket In yellow shoes I bugger my paisley shirt, I KNOW But it ain’t anywhere It just been made the choice for economic assistance. Such a military conflict. It does take on al Qaeda. My advice is security, especially in Iraq, and stabilizing the haze of the Iraqi and American people is old - I recently ordered the Iraqis who I’d much rather kick in the alley He’s lookin’ for the United States are accompanied by November. Our troops in the alley He’s lookin’ for the soul To establish its chicken Mama’s in other critical areas. Iraqi and tribal leaders have extraordinary and that as you are the eggmen. I have outlined tonight are aimed at innocent flesh on The story is old socks The sun’s not be tolerated. And heaven knows I’m miserable now I was looking for a dead dog’s eye. Many listening tonight will ask why do I live or announce the tombstone blues The king of a young Americans understand that our combat forces. I am the holiest shrines in Iraq have always defied the differences. Elementary penguin singing hari krishna. Man, you and cool you been a fly Saying, Death to help the United States at home base is no magic formula for the sun. Mama’s in mass killings on to other side of Turkey and Prime Minister Maliki has no need our help. The Iraqi government plans to the sky see how they run the most realistic way of life. So America will help make it brief Is there will be clear: The sweet pretty things are concerned that the Author of the enemy, by And heaven knows I’m miserable now I KNOW But oh, oh, my life Why do I got, Its what you Ah, ah ah ah, ah - oh! I’ve been cleared. In my paisley shirt, I give valuable time To the old woman with outrageous acts of murder aimed at ensuring the embedding of them – five brigades – will not provide a safe haven in a little policemen in the penny arcade Screaming she hands down I am the walrus, goo g’joob. Expert textpert choking smokers, Don’t you just gotta see Iraqi troops will have asked them – and pointless knowledge Mama’s in Iraq. The changes I have given orders to show their tombstones and resolve. It must be clear: The ghost of State James Baker and it will increase the transition to the streets With the security of this effort: The geometry of the active in Iraq. Its what I got, Its home base is blessed to help the survival of failure are becoming too long she said And I naturally fled In my paisley shirt, I believe that continues today. A bald wig for their cause, and yield the Iraqi people. Now the medicine man Vegetable man, Vegetable man. If members have blushed You’ve been cleared. In my life Why do Where mistakes have been in the most realistic way of life. Even if I live together in the eye Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you thing the United States. The terrorists and empty chairs at innocent Iraqis. They have done everything we increase our new strategy to help bring a year ago, nearly 12 million Iraqis To show that it goes on Friday, Secretary Rice will spend $10 billion of providing the responsibility rests with apples to allow more lethal. The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing down murderers, fewer American troops. But oh, oh, my plastic feet with trust that there is fighting for the fuse I’m in Baghdad to this effort, along with local police. On one side are extremists and a casket In earlier operations, Iraqi government as they work alongside Iraqi and tribal leaders have been made. The king of our time. A successful strategy for Iraq And one ? And we concluded that political or die ? What she moans, I’ve just over a stake in the alley He’s lookin’ for a unified and tyranny. In my life the government will reform de-Baathification laws, and civilian experts to help local Iraqi government as a result, our friends and civilians greater economic reform. And Secretary Rice will leave for the fuse I’m in the haze of a result, our enemies. Al Qaeda terrorists and insurgents to use America’s full diplomatic resources to gain the transition to Lebanon to hold the year ahead my national security team, military and civilian experts to help the Iraqi plan to fund their campaign to get thrown At the head of our own money on all fours Scream thy last scream old woman with a dead dog’s eye. Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you see, It does take responsibility for a unified and gain new in the advance of State James Baker and American casualties. So I change our approach comes after torturing a bar bell he burns out and destroy our way of life. In earlier operations, Iraqi security forces which remains the governments of that country apart, and foreign fighters. Al Qaeda is blessed to allow more than a naughty girl you a melody so bad… Vegetable man, Vegetable man! I walk the region, to them to protect the recommendations of that country apart, and suffering. These young Americans understand that these elections posed for attacks on our forces. We’ll interrupt the 11th, 2001, we can hasten the pressure on terror. This violence is quite outta sight. But the tears on our forces. But oh, oh, my turquoise waistcoat is Anbar Province. We endorse the telly til all those who I’d much rather kick in Anbar Province by 4,000 troops. Now let me Our troops will have begun to take responsibility for security team, military operations are from laughter Now the medicine man Vegetable man. Vegetable man. Vegetable man. The Baghdad security Let me explain the sectarian violence will continue – and fattens the pressure on all fours Scream thy last scream old woman with a little hole and all of Iraq’s provinces by advancing liberty We mourn the Iraqi government’s call to the Middle East. The watch, black watch, my national security forces we could accomplish our people, America must succeed in Iraq. The story is old - I live or die ? Honorable people who I’d much rather kick in the country’s economy, Iraq have fought bravely. They serve far from going insane That somebody loved me Our troops and cooperation from the thoughtful recommendations of the haze of the Iraq Iran is unacceptable to move in Iraq. Succeeding in freedom and then I smile At people who are risking their cause, and shaking the Iraqis together, and suffering. We can, and my turquoise waistcoat is a strong commitment. Two lovers entwined pass legislation to the sky see how they snied. I’m crying. Semolina pilchard, climbing up with the tears on her cheeks are clear: Radical Islamic extremists who kill the networks providing the security especially in the streets With the course for the doctor who don’t care if I am he told his great thrill I live or die ? THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. Tonight in a calculated effort The Iraqi forces will change our liberty. We will give their lives to claim their survival. The geometry of the chamber of the active in Iraq. Its what you thing the streets of our time. On September the Iraqis build support for Iraq and be embedded in the eye Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you just gotta see It must step up the pressure on the troops to secure Baghdad did not. We’ll interrupt the house too long she moans, I’ve just over a bar bell he shuffles inside He walks with a daughter Flat top of the Gulf States The consequences of Iraq’s Sunni and Shia Islam – the brave men and women willing to help them out to Iraq. But heaven knows I’m miserable now I naturally fled In my turquoise waistcoat is a strong commitment. But heaven knows I’m miserable now In my life the Iraqi forces left behind are capable of extremist challenges. And I naturally fled In my paisley shirt, I am the fact’ry She ain’t got no shoes Daddy’s in the alley He’s lookin’ for me to mobilize talented American – and insurgents, but when our troops being forced to the terrorists. If members of Congress, we stand with its neighbors, and speed the place for success in the region, and use oil revenues among all this weeping, swallow your pointers Waddle with apples to grouchy Mrs. Stores She’ll be me, Its what you and cool you just gotta see if you get a profit sells road maps for the fuse I’m in the fact’ry She ain’t got no shoes Daddy’s in Iraq. To people who I’d much rather kick in a row. See how they run. I’m crying, i’m crying. I’m crying, i’m crying. Yellow matter custard, dripping from nations throughout our history, Americans have always defied the walrus, goo g’joob. Mister city policeman sitting Pretty little hole and Iraq to get sick in? The story is engaged in the haze of a refuge for extremists and I bugger my knees and seen our commanders and American forces cleared many neighborhoods of the world – a casket In yellow shoes Daddy’s in Iraq. And I naturally fled In the long run, the capital. This would bring security to me… Scream thy last week: The vast majority of terrorists and yield the Iraqis together, and result in other critical areas. Such a bipartisan panel led by working together and that the Iraqi Army units, and insurgents, but please make me feel pink Theres a drunken hour But heaven knows I’m miserable now There were not allow them kicking edgar allan poe. I am the ones our troops begin by working together to enter those who believe we have Our military commander and speed the attacks on a cornflake, waiting for the streets With his faithful slave Pedro behind him he burns out their camps With his faithful slave Pedro behind him he as you and cease the Gulf States are engaged in a military commander and dominating the eye … ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/95 "2007-01-14T00:29:39Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] Titanic. . .deck chairs. . .fill in the blanks. [/QUOTE] Mmmm, Kate Winslet. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/96 "2007-01-14T00:39:47Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] Titanic. . .deck chairs. . .fill in the blanks. [/QUOTE] > [@Stephen Colbert](#): > > First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/97 "2007-01-14T00:45:50Z")
[QUOTE=Talon Karrde] I thought the speech needed some improvement, so I ran it through [here](http://www.critters.org/bonsai.html) along with a few other things. It’s a lot more honest than what he actually said, that’s for sure… [/QUOTE] [DECONSTRUCTING BUSH’S SPEECH ON THE DECONSTRUCTION OF IRAQ](http://hardblogger.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/01/11/30328.aspx) > [@](#): > > Tonight in Iraq, the armed forces of the United States are engaged in a struggle that will determine the direction of the global war on terror and our safety here at home _(There were no weapons of mass destruction; there was no al Qaeda connection; there was no terrorist training ground until Bush invaded on cooked intelligence)_… ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/98 "2007-01-14T01:19:43Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] To the contrary. W has so much spine he can’t bend. That’s just the problem. [/QUOTE] Um. That’s not a spine. That’s a vertical stabilizing structure which has been installed where the sun don’t shine. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/99 "2007-01-14T01:36:39Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] > [@Marley23](#): > > But dying for one man’s stupidity and egomania? I don’t even know what to call that. “Impeachable offense”? [/QUOTE] Unfortunately, no, or we could have dumped Johnson before he ramped up in Viet Nam. [QUOTE=Liberal] I honestly don’t understand why anyone watched this speech. Unless they’re very young or very old with hope springing eternal. What was the draw? Like rubbernecking a car wreck or something? I sort of wish people would en masse just ignore his next prime time buttinski speech. Maybe he’d get the message. [/QUOTE] I suspect the latter. At this point, it’s hard to see why anyone would hold out hope that he has a clue about the situation. [QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] Maybe hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. [/QUOTE] Just when I didn’t think it could get any worse. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521/100 "2007-01-14T07:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=Talon Karrde] I thought the speech needed some improvement, so I ran it through [here](http://www.critters.org/bonsai.html) along with a few other things. It’s a lot more honest than what he actually said, that’s for sure… THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. Tonight in Iraq. \<_etc._\> [/QUOTE] Well, I guess when he puts it _that_ way, it all makes sense! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-things-i-hate-about-the-speech/387521.md?page=6)