# 10 years sober **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240 "2014-03-21T18:55:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/21 "2014-03-22T01:04:19Z")
Nicely done. 15 months since my last cigarette today. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/22 "2014-03-22T01:38:21Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Nice going. 4.5 months for me šŸ™‚ > > question for you: Are you still (did you ever) go to AA type meetings or just gut it out on your own? > > Is it still a daily ā€œissueā€ for you? I ended up in a halfway house and do A.A. Iā€™ve posted quite a bit about it. I can hunt up the threads if anyone is interested. It is not a daily issue, however I do think about being a recovering alkie pretty much every day. If I donā€™t think about it I will forget how fucking nightmarish my life was. And then I will end up drinking. I donā€™t attend many mettings these days, some but not as many as I probably should. I do help other alkies when I can. However if I start getting squirrelly it is off to a meeting. Speaking of which, Atomic Mama, if you want to talk and are willing to listen to my advice, PM me and Iā€™ll give you a call. Life has been a little rough in the past year. Some amazing things happened. I married my beautiful wife. However there has been a lot of stress, a bunch of stuff too long to post right now. Yet with all the stress I didnā€™t drink and never felt the urge and that is an amazing thing. I need to change somethings in my life, mainly financial stuff. We got hit with a bunch of emergencies (that werenā€™t of our making) and it caused a lot if stress. But we are going to get through it. We are going on a cruise in two weeks, which is going to be awesome. I _need_ a vacation. And I have my wife, who means the world to me, a house full if pets, friends and family who love me and a job I enjoy. So life is good. But if I drink Iā€™d lose it all within a month. So I do that simplest thing that is so fucking hard to do, if you are an alkie like me, which is not pick up a drink. And if I can not.pick up a drink, all will be well. And the amazing thing is, if you happen to have a problem, is that you can do it as well. Go to a meeeting, talk to some folks. Admit that your method of staying sober doesnā€™t work and then have the courage to do what those who have sobriety suggest. If you do that you have a good chance of getting and staying sober. Slee ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/23 "2014-03-22T01:42:23Z")
Congratulations. Keep on keepinā€™ on. One day sober here. Been doing that for over 17 years. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/24 "2014-03-22T02:08:58Z")
Congratulations! People that face their problems like thisā€¦and changeā€¦show a kind of strength that I always find impressive. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/25 "2014-03-22T18:01:12Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Iā€™ve only been a few months sober (with one accidental sip of beer, but that was unintentional.) Some AAs I know would say that resets your sobriety date. Theyā€™re nuts. Know one guy who freaked like that because somebody slipped him a roofie at a party after he had been a good boy for a couple years, but heā€™s nuts. You meet some nuts in our club. > [@Atomic\_Mama](#): > > Wish I could get a day sober ā˜¹ > > Not doinā€™ well here. The meetings can help. And you have us. I stopped going to meetings when I got sick of listening to people talk about booze and drugs. Except for special occasions, like my Two Year a couple weeks ago (yay me). And I couldnā€™t go to daytime meetings so I didnā€™t spend an hour a day with a particular gorgeous redhead who could be talking about anything for all I cared. But I have the SDMB, and on the internet everybody can be a gorgeous redhead (on the internet I look like Benedict Cumberbatch) who wants to hear about your problems and offer help from their own experience. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/26 "2014-03-22T19:08:52Z")
23 here, it can be done. You can do it. ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/27 "2014-03-22T19:13:23Z")
Support all who are fighting dependency and addictions. I went through a phase also after my divorce but it was a phase years ago. I snapped out of it like a clear breath of cool water. Everybody has their poison. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/28 "2014-03-22T19:40:30Z")
A day late, but no less encouraged by your post. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/29 "2014-03-22T22:18:24Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > We are going on a cruise in two weeks, which is going to be awesome. I _need_ a vacation. And I have my wife, who means the world to me, a house full if pets, friends and family who love me and a job I enjoy. So life is good. If you havenā€™t been on a cruise before, they are wonderful - we just got off one. I spent hours every day in the spa - not getting spa services, but they had a series of steam rooms, saunas, showers and heated recliners that was awesome. Lots to eat, plenty to do - or its a great place to hang out with a book and nothing to do. But alcohol is omnipresent. They walk around the pool with it, they offer tastings, there are PLENTY of bars on the ship, its there for dinnerā€¦Most lines have meetings, if you feel the need to take advantage of one. And from what Iā€™ve heard, they are well attended by people in recovery who understand that cruises and vacations can lead to a poor decision. Enjoy your vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/30 "2014-03-22T22:54:34Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Congratulations. Keep on keepinā€™ on. > > One day sober here. Been doing that for over 17 years. I have met several people who puzzle me. I donā€™t understand them at all. They admit they have an addiction problem and say they want help. But in the next breath they make a joke about it like the joke you made above. Please excuse me if I am mistaken that you were making a joke. But if you were, I encourage you to attend a meeting and speak with someone or just speak with someone who is willing to discuss it with you and offer you some help. The reason is that if part of you truly wants to escape addiction, it is a real good idea to talk with other people. They want to help you and it is a lot easier to escape with the help of others than it is alone. I donā€™t think I could have ever escaped the Hell I was in without the help of others. I canā€™t imagine ever having done it if I was all alone. Good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/31 "2014-03-22T23:15:45Z")
Yay you Slee! Good work. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/32 "2014-03-23T00:26:30Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > If you havenā€™t been on a cruise before, they are wonderful - we just got off one. I spent hours every day in the spa - not getting spa services, but they had a series of steam rooms, saunas, showers and heated recliners that was awesome. Lots to eat, plenty to do - or its a great place to hang out with a book and nothing to do. > > But alcohol is omnipresent. They walk around the pool with it, they offer tastings, there are PLENTY of bars on the ship, its there for dinnerā€¦Most lines have meetings, if you feel the need to take advantage of one. And from what Iā€™ve heard, they are well attended by people in recovery who understand that cruises and vacations can lead to a poor decision. > > Enjoy your vacation. Just out of curiosity, are there any lines who offer cruises with no alcohol? I would doubt the over all appeal of such a thing, but you never know. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/33 "2014-03-23T01:16:42Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > If you havenā€™t been on a cruise before, they are wonderful - we just got off one. I spent hours every day in the spa - not getting spa services, but they had a series of steam rooms, saunas, showers and heated recliners that was awesome. Lots to eat, plenty to do - or its a great place to hang out with a book and nothing to do. > > But alcohol is omnipresent. They walk around the pool with it, they offer tastings, there are PLENTY of bars on the ship, its there for dinnerā€¦Most lines have meetings, if you feel the need to take advantage of one. And from what Iā€™ve heard, they are well attended by people in recovery who understand that cruises and vacations can lead to a poor decision. > > Enjoy your vacation. Thanks for the advice on meetings. I know about those. In any case, being around booze doesnā€™t bother me. Hell, my wife will have a bottle in the fridge from time to time. The deal is, if I feel in any way that it is a problem, it gets tossed in the trash. How I found out that cruises had meetings was a bit funny. My parents went on a cruise. When they came back I went over to their house. My Mom was telling me about the trip when she brought up the fact that there was this guy, Bill W, who apparently was on _every_ cruise they went on and apparently had a lot of friends. My Mom started going on about how on every cruise they saw signs for this Bill W. fellow and neither my Mom nor my Dad could figure out how they ended up on the same cruise with him all the time. At which point I burst out laughing. My parents looked at me oddly. I then explained that the ā€˜Friendsā€™ of Bill W. were the alkies and it was sign for an A.A. meeting. **Charlie Wayne** , **Fear Itself** is referencing a rather famous A.A. slogan, One Day At A Time (ODAAT) (unless there is a whoosh I am missing). The idea, and newbies in the program hear this alot, is that when you are getting sober, donā€™t worry about tomorrow, just take it one day at a time. **Fear Itself** has 17 years and he got those 17 years one day at a time. (By the way, congrats on 17 years!) Since people tend to be wrecks when they walk into A.A., all of lifes problems can be overwhelming and also the idea of never drinking again can be overwhelming as well. So the slogan. Instead of worrying about next year, or next month, or even next week, just take it one day at a time. Just be sober today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow. It is damned good advice. Slee ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/34 "2014-03-23T01:35:29Z")
Congratulations, Slee! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/35 "2014-03-23T01:57:07Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > At which point I burst out laughing. My parents looked at me oddly. I then explained that the ā€˜Friendsā€™ of Bill W. were the alkies and it was sign for an A.A. meeting. Iā€™ve had the same conversation. My sister is good around alcohol as well - in fact, this summer she hosted a very nice martini party - at which she drank tonic with a twist. I thought it was very odd to go to a martini party at the home of the sister I spent family week at rehab for - but Iā€™m very happy she is that secure and healthy now. ---
**Author:** ![Finnie\_the\_Pooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@Finnie\_the\_Pooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finnie_the_Pooh)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/36 "2014-03-23T01:59:49Z")
Sober here for 33 years. I don`t go to meetings any more, but at first I attended at least four times a week. I also stayed at a halfway house for about six months, until I had to leave to work out of town. I had to leave most of my friends behind when I quit because most of them were drinkers, surprise, surprise. Slowly I was able to make new friends, mostly outside AA, and put my life back on the right track. I quit going to meetings about 10 years after stopping because I kept hearing the same whining day after day about how difficult things were and why they kept falling off the wagon. It wasn`t easy for me at first either, but if you slog through it stubbornly it becomes a habit. Remember, the problems you had were mostly your own making due to your addiction, and avoiding those will give you the strength to deal with the few that the peckerheads you meet will dish upon you. You must keep sober on your own! Even though you have AA friends, it`s up to you to ask for help AND follow their advice. To stay sober is YOUR decision in the end. I now am within a year of retirement with a pension, I am married to a supportive wife (non-AA), we have nine cats, a house with 105 acres and the usual status cars, quads, snow blowers (I live in Ontario) and a carpenter work shop. Had I continued to drink, I`d have a grave, maybe. I think I made the right choice. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/37 "2014-03-23T02:14:18Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Please excuse me if I am mistaken that you were making a joke. I wasnā€™t making a joke. Thatā€™s how I work my program. I donā€™t have the strength to quit drinking forever. But I donā€™t need to drink today. And that has worked for 17 years. But what works for me may not work for you. One thing I learned when I was going to meetings, was donā€™t work the other guyā€™s program. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/38 "2014-03-23T03:08:48Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I wasnā€™t making a joke. Thatā€™s how I work my program. I donā€™t have the strength to quit drinking forever. But I donā€™t need to drink today. And that has worked for 17 years. But what works for me may not work for you. One thing I learned when I was going to meetings, was donā€™t work the other guyā€™s program. Well, I certainly must apologize to you. I had never heard that kind of remark before and I was certain that you were just joking. However, Iā€™m very happy that I was wrong and I congratulate you on your sobriety. Whatever works for you is just great and Iā€™m glad that you found something that does work for you. Keep on keeping on! ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/39 "2014-03-24T03:06:10Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I wasnā€™t making a joke. Thatā€™s how I work my program. I donā€™t have the strength to quit drinking forever. But I donā€™t need to drink today. And that has worked for 17 years. But what works for me may not work for you. One thing I learned when I was going to meetings, was donā€™t work the other guyā€™s program. Thatā€™s a great way of looking at it IMO. I have successfully applied this to overeating in the past. But I need to do it again. :o Starting today. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240/40 "2014-03-24T04:39:07Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I wasnā€™t making a joke. Thatā€™s how I work my program. I donā€™t have the strength to quit drinking forever. But I donā€™t need to drink today. And that has worked for 17 years. But what works for me may not work for you. One thing I learned when I was going to meetings, was donā€™t work the other guyā€™s program. Indeed, when I hit a year, I said to myself ā€˜I donā€™t have a year of sobriety, I have 365 daysā€™. Congradulations Slee, you know what comes after 10, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/10-years-sober/684240.md?page=3)