# 100 best ripostes, turns of phrase, insults, bon mots, etc. on the Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350 "2005-12-06T14:32:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/21 "2005-12-08T06:35:59Z")
From **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** : > [@](#): > > I smell LaRouche. Or maybe my cat missed the sandbox again. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/22 "2005-12-08T13:18:29Z")
[Page o’ Funnies & Flames](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flames.html) submitted by US and taken care of my **Opal Cat**. Enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/23 "2005-12-08T13:28:11Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > “_I_ am the goddamned hall monitor!” – **manhattan** Actually, the quote was [As it happens, _I_ am the fucking hall monitor](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=151356&highlight=fucking+hall+monitor). One of **manhattan** ’s finest moments. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/24 "2005-12-08T13:54:22Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > [Page o’ Funnies & Flames](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flames.html) submitted by US and taken care of my **Opal Cat**. > > Enjoy. I think something got broken, at least for Firefox. The page you linked to comes up fine, but when I try to go to the quotes pages I get the HTML. In IE it works though. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/25 "2005-12-08T14:04:57Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > “If ‘stupid’ were cornflakes, you’d be General Mills.” This is stupid in and of itself. General Mills does not make corn flakes. Cheerios, Wheaties, Lucky Charms, Trix yes. Corn flakes, no. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/26 "2005-12-08T14:14:29Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > This is stupid in and of itself. General Mills does not make corn flakes. Cheerios, Wheaties, Lucky Charms, Trix yes. Corn flakes, no. Don’t blame me, I didn’t write it. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/27 "2005-12-08T14:41:43Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > Don’t blame me, I didn’t write it. I’m not. Of course, the line loses a bit of rhythm if you say Kellogg’s. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/28 "2005-12-08T14:52:05Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > This is stupid in and of itself. General Mills does not make corn flakes. Cheerios, Wheaties, Lucky Charms, Trix yes. Corn flakes, no. No, it’s caring about whether or not General Mills actually makes corn flakes that’s dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/29 "2005-12-08T15:18:26Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > This is stupid in and of itself. General Mills does not make corn flakes. Cheerios, Wheaties, Lucky Charms, Trix yes. Corn flakes, no. Cecil was called on this, and replied that he wouldn’t let facts get in the way of a good one-liner. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/30 "2005-12-08T18:09:29Z")
From [The rock in the box: I burning your dog](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=203185&page=2&pp=50): > [@Smeghead](#): > > We’re sorry. > > We’re still working on “ignorance.” We have not yet started on “insanity.” Please try back later. > > Thank you for your patience. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/31 "2005-12-08T19:36:49Z")
The lost & lamented **Homer** started a thread about a minority group member stealing his car radio. [THIS](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=100552&postcount=90) was a dilly of a reply! > [@](#): > > First VegForLife had your radio. The it was passed to glee; then pleddison. Later, it was smuggled on llama-back to Kellibelli in Canada. Coldfire has it now. We bring it to all the SD get togethers, and pose with it for photographs; all the while laughing madly at our witless dupe (that’s you, dipstick-breath). Last time, Unca Cecil & all the moderators posed together for a group photo, holding YOUR DAMMED CAR RADIO. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/32 "2005-12-08T19:43:33Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > From **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** : I…don’t recall that one. 😕😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/33 "2005-12-08T21:01:08Z")
In the thread **[102 Year Old Italian Woman Plunges 4 Stories & Lives](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256040&highlight=tits)**, **ShibbOleth** said: > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I’m thinking that when she landed, Death was waiting for her. **Lieu** ’s reply: > [@lieu](#): > > At 102, if not Death then certainly her tits. What an amazing imagery. I still can’t scrape it off my mind’s eye. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/34 "2005-12-08T21:14:41Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > In the thread **[102 Year Old Italian Woman Plunges 4 Stories & Lives](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256040&highlight=tits)**, > > **ShibbOleth** said: **Lieu** ’s reply: > What an amazing imagery. I still can’t scrape it off my mind’s eye. Oh, that was a good one. Just the sort of thing I had in mind when I started the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/35 "2005-12-08T22:11:31Z")
I used to have this one bookmarked, but I can’t find it anymore. I’m pretty sure this (perhaps not the exact quote anymore, as I’m working from memory) is attributed to **DoctorJ** : > [@](#): > > A failed relationship based on mutual love of Flock of Seagulls is a tale as old as time, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/36 "2005-12-09T01:19:49Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > I…don’t recall that one. > > 😕😕😕 [see post #30](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268983) ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/37 "2005-12-09T02:35:30Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > [see post #30](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268983) Oh, the tangled web we weave… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/38 "2005-12-09T03:45:32Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Oh, the tangled web we weave… 😉 Clearly I’ve been whooshed. By whom, about what, I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/39 "2005-12-09T06:00:16Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Actually, the quote was [As it happens, _I_ am the fucking hall monitor](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=151356&highlight=fucking+hall+monitor). One of **manhattan** ’s finest moments. Still. I’d have to give the late **Cleverman** some major props for apparently coining the nickname **“Banhattan”** in that same thread. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350/40 "2005-12-09T23:47:53Z")
The topic was Triumph the Insult Comic Dog insulting people in Montreal. Quebec separatism was thrown into the mix by a Quebec native who had moved (temporarily?) to the US. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4543361#post4543361](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4543361#post4543361) > [@jarbabyj](#): > > She’s such a separatist she lives in the United States. It’s not much by itself, but in context it’s _precisely_ on target and therefore wonderful. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-best-ripostes-turns-of-phrase-insults-bon-mots-etc-on-the-dope/334350.md?page=3)