# 100 things a customer should never do. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2009, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154 "2009-11-03T11:31:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/201 "2009-11-06T18:44:46Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I didn’t say this is a rule everyone should follow. I asked if most people simply do this in general? I asked because I know I do, and several people I know do this deliberately as well. Maybe some people just grab whatever bill sticks out to them, which is fair enough. I do think people should make a point out of not purchasing 10 cents of merchandise with a $100 bill, though. Seems dickish. This is what I was responding to: “Hell, don’t even try it with a 20.” Which sounds like you are saying that the discrepancy between the price of gum and the bill is so much that you should just go without the gum if a 20 is all you have. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/202 "2009-11-06T18:51:27Z")
Well you responded to this sentence: “In general, don’t people usually make cash purchases with the smallest denominations in their wallets that’ll cover the cost?” Which means you should have read this sentence considering it immediately precedes the sentence you responded to: “Of course, there are times when you just don’t have the denomination you’d like to use, so you just have to offer up what you have.” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/203 "2009-11-06T18:55:09Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Sorry, but that one I don’t buy, or at least I don’t care. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I get in a cab and the driver says “You’re not gonna give me a $20, are you?” Um, only if you want me to pay you. ATMs spit out 20s, and it’s not my job to have change, it’s his. Same for the gas station or the convenience store. Bullshit. You don’t have to care, but we do NOT have thousands of dollars worth of ones and fives just lying around. We (c-stores) are one of the most-frequently-robbed businesses in existence. We keep cash low. I can almost always break a 20 for any purchase, but if I don’t have change, I just don’t. It’s 6:05 AM on Sunday, you are my first customer, and you want to buy your doughnut and coffee with a fifty? Uh-uh, see ya later. I start with a hundred dollars in my register - $25 coin, $50 in fives, and $25 in ones. I’m not giving it all to you. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/204 "2009-11-06T18:57:17Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Aren’t cab drivers really likely to get held up? I can certainly understand their reluctance not to carry a lot of cash to make change with. I’d have thought the same, but a lot of my customers are cabbies, and they often have wads of several hundred dollars or more, and often pay ME for gas with lots of small bills. Joe ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/205 "2009-11-06T19:00:35Z")
Back in high school, a guy came into my lane and paid for a pack of gum with a $100 bill. It was my first transaction of the day, which pretty much wiped out my change drawer. I found that a little irritating. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/206 "2009-11-06T19:09:55Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Well you responded to this sentence: “In general, don’t people usually make cash purchases with the smallest denominations in their wallets that’ll cover the cost?” Which means you should have read this sentence considering it immediately precedes the sentence you responded to: “Of course, there are times when you just don’t have the denomination you’d like to use, so you just have to offer up what you have.” Yes all of that seems reasonable, it just happens to contradict your original statement: “Hell, don’t even try it with a 20.” If when you say “Hell, don’t even try it with a 20.” you really mean “be aware that getting back lots of change can cause problems for the cashier and therefore if they ask you to use a smaller bill you should do it gracefully” then we are in agreement. As a side note, I have been asked multiple times to pay with larger bills because they were overflowing with small denominations and wanted 5’s or 10’s or 20’s, it goes both ways. Bottom line is it’s a simple process of communication between customer and retailer. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/207 "2009-11-06T19:15:30Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Yes all of that seems reasonable, it just happens to contradict your original statement: > > “Hell, don’t even try it with a 20.” Bloody hell, if you won’t accept a clarification, then I’m done talking to you. For fuck’s sake… ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/208 "2009-11-06T19:22:21Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > IME, they also aren’t going to tip you. I think of an experience I had in one of the aforementioned coffeeshops in college… It was Parent’s Week and we were incredibly busy. Mr. Big Important Man comes in with his family, orders about a half-dozen drinks (all of them involving pulling shots, steaming milk, etc.–nothing easy like coffee), pays with a $100, and leaves $0.00 in the tip cup. Douchebarge. Anyone who tips at a coffeeshop is a sucker. I have never heard of coffeeshop employees pulling down the server minimum wage and having to make it up in tips. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/209 "2009-11-06T19:34:21Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Everyone should toss in a credit card and ask the bill to be split evenly X ways. Then if you need to do micro-corrections, do it with cash after you leave the restaurant. Or better yet, don’t bother nitpicking. How often, really, does everyone order the prime rib but one holdout only gets a small salad? That assumes everyone has a credit card (I do not, and I am not alone in that with my friends). It also assumes that no one is drinking alcohol or that everyone is (I’m not putting in on a friend’s 3 jack and cokes if I had water). Also, I don’t think I have ever been in a group of more than three that didn’t have at least one person getting something small and cheap compared to the rest of us - a salad, one taco, just dessert - unless we were at a buffet only restaurant. In other words, your experiences are not universal. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/210 "2009-11-06T19:47:33Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Anyone who tips at a coffeeshop is a sucker. I have never heard of coffeeshop employees pulling down the server minimum wage and having to make it up in tips. You don’t \*\*depend \*\*on it, but it’s a big help when you’re getting paid $6 an hour. You tip your bartender, don’t you? Same deal. FWIW, I almost never expected tips when I worked at a coffeeshop, but I always appreciated them, especially on large and/or complicated orders. So, when a guy asks for a large, complicated order during a busy time and clearly has money to blow but then doesn’t tip? Douchebarge. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > Yes all of that seems reasonable, it just happens to contradict your original statement: > > “Hell, don’t even try it with a 20.” I fail to see what the problem is here. To me, this clearly means, “Don’t try to pay for a very small purchase with a $20 if you can possibly help it, because there’s a very good chance that the cashier won’t be able to break it, or, if they do, you will inconvenience some future customer.” Do you really need everything spelled out for you? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/211 "2009-11-06T19:51:38Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You don’t \*\*depend \*\*on it, but it’s a big help when you’re getting paid $6 an hour. You tip your bartender, don’t you? Same deal. I don’t drink, so no, I don’t tip bartenders either. And very few states have a minimum wage below $7.25. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/212 "2009-11-06T19:52:36Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > And very few states have a minimum wage below $7.25. Shockingly, some of us worked before this was the case. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/213 "2009-11-06T20:12:50Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > I don’t drink, so no, I don’t tip bartenders either. Well, I do (occasionally) drink, so I can help you out here by telling you people generally tip bartenders. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/214 "2009-11-06T20:14:40Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Do no blame the front-line staff for Head Office policies. They have no control over them at all and, in all likelihood, hate them even more that you do. Corollary: do not fuck with the server because you don’t like the Head Office policies. Sure as hell do not call up the Head Office and make shit up to get her fired because she’s not allowed to give you free soda refills. Doing so won’t change the policy, so what exactly does this accomplish? (Yeah, true story. Bonus, the head office didn’t even ask me what happened, they just called me 10 minutes before shift and told me not to come in anymore.) ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/215 "2009-11-06T20:26:48Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > At a bar, never say, (for example) “I’ll have a vodka and tonic, and make it strong!” First, you call into question the bartender’s ability to make a drink, and , second, you make yourself look like a cheap idiot. If you want a double, ask for a double - and be prepared to pay for it. Along the same lines: there are those who understand that the amount of alcohol is constant, and there are those who think that by opting for less ice or a bigger glass means that the bartender will magically bestow upon them a larger portion of alcohol…for the same price! Those who don’t understand, will inevitably return to the bar complaining that their drinks taste weak and asking me to “put some alcohol in it this time.” Sometimes I politely suggest a shorter glass, but most of the time, I just make fun of them behind their backs for being such smug ignorant shitheads. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/216 "2009-11-06T20:29:02Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > 1. Don’t get to the drive-through and then say “Just a minute”. Uh, why? I don’t have the menu memorized, does that mean I, and everybody in the car, has to pick randomly? ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/217 "2009-11-06T20:32:48Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I fail to see what the problem is here. To me, this clearly means, “Don’t try to pay for a very small purchase with a $20 if you can possibly help it, because there’s a very good chance that the cashier won’t be able to break it, or, if they do, you will inconvenience some future customer.” Do you really need everything spelled out for you? Every time I get money from the cash machine it comes out in 20’s. Then I have to break those 20’s as I purchase stuff. I can’t even remember the last time there was a problem with change. It’s a non-problem unless the cashier says it is and then you try to help them out if possible, simple. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/218 "2009-11-06T20:33:24Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Actually, I’ve heard this one too, from a native Spaniard who said that in his country, they treat the waiters as such. > > But I agree with the second part of your statement. Cuban restaurant in NYC? Expect American manners. Unless I heard this direct from someone who actually worked as a server in Cuba/Spain/wherever, I’d take this assertion with a few million grains of salt. It’s not uncommon _here_ for customers to think themselves justified in treating their servers like shit, so why should I assume that it’s substantially different elsewhere? I certainly wouldn’t assume that a server wants to be treated like that (regardless what the cultural norm is). If being nice is a sin, then call me a sinner. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/219 "2009-11-06T20:35:47Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > Uh, why? I don’t have the menu memorized, does that mean I, and everybody in the car, has to pick randomly? Didn’t you notice the stench coming off of the dead horse as you rode by this one? The upshot here is, the fast food junkies have to get their daily grease fix immediately, so don’t hold up the line. If you don’t have it memorized, you’re to park and go inside. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154/220 "2009-11-06T20:40:33Z")
My contribution: Please, for the love of god, if you have 20 people in the group tip as if there are 20 people in the group. I used to have to serve at least 20 people per group on a busy Saturday morning. They would all pile in, possibly from a bus, possibly a church group, and take up half my section for an hour and a half, run me all around the restaurant, and then tip as if there were five people sitting there. At this small eatery a dollar a person was _almost_ okay, getting down around 12% instead of 15%, but it was okay. For 20 people it should have been AT THE VERY LEAST $20, but very, very often it was $4, or $5. This was because one person would name himself In Charge of the Tip, usually the pastor, and then he’d be as stingy as possible. I hated, hated hated, working weekends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-a-customer-should-never-do/516154.md?page=12)