# 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 2, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091 "2009-11-02T19:51:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 10
### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/181 "2009-11-06T13:49:55Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#):
>
> I understand that sometimes you can’t make the customer happy, based on company policy. But at that point you have to make a decision: Do I represent the company as an employee, or do I represent me? Am I going to explain to the customer why my company won’t replace his phone, or am I just going to say how it’s not my fault? In such a situation the best approach is to say, “I’m sorry, that’s company company. Would you like to speak to my manager?”
In that scenario, the problem was, I _was_ the manager. There was no-one higher up the chain of command for customers to talk to, short of them ringing Head Office, which would get me in trouble for “not making the customer happy”. Yeah, it was a crock and we all hated it.
That’s the problem- trying to explain to someone whose $500 phone has been knocked back for repair due to water damage that there is _nothing_ they can do, short of the contacting the manufacturer (who will say “Sorry, but our techs found water damage to the phone’s circuits”) or the Office of Fair Trading (who will likely say “Sorry, but their techs found water damage to the phone’s circuits.”)
And how do you say to a customer “Sorry, but that policy is in place because 99% of phones with water damage _have_ been dropped in water, and people who have dropped their phones in the sink keep trying to con free replacements out of us”? Because that’s why the policy was in place. You basically have to call the customer a liar or accuse them of trying to pull a fast one on you to explain the reason behind the policy, and that’s not cricket.
Or you can say “I’m terribly sorry, but our corporate policy is that we do not refund or exchange phones outside their early life failure period, except as provided under the Sale of Goods Act and the Trade Practices Act. Regrettably, phones with water damage are not covered under this. I wish I could help you but there’s honestly nothing I can do at this point beyond giving you the phone number of the manufacturer’s repair centre.”
We used to have terrible problems with GPS units. Tradesmen would buy an expensive model and sometimes they’d break two months later, and we’d have a tradesman in the store hitting the roof demanding a replacement right then because they couldn’t manage without it. And despite the fact GPS units were more expensive that a mid-range mobile phone (Average GPS price at the time was between $350-$700), we _could_ exchange those up to a certain point, and usually did. Then we’d send the faulty unit off to the manufacturer, and- this is the important thing- the manufacturer would send us a shiny new one in replacement, even if the customer _had_ dropped it or left it on the dashboard of a ute parked on a mine site at Mt Isa for a week in the middle of summer. For some reason, we never really had problems with “customer-caused fault” GPS units… I think I recall seeing three or four in two years, and the manufacturers decided it was better for everyone to replace the unit than dig their heels in. If only the mobile phone companies thought the same way…
So we’d have customers wanting to know how come we couldn’t replace their two month old $229 phone, but _could_ replace their two month old $350 GPS unit, and when you tried to explain to them it was based on what the manufacturer themselves was prepared to do, their eyes would glaze over or they’d demand to know why the mobile phone manufacturer wouldn’t replace their phone.
All of which is a long and convoluted way of saying “Front line staff would like to be able to help you- really, they would. It’s not their money. But they’ll get their asses kicked from head office if they do so and their jobs aren’t worth risking so you can have a new phone right now instead of after the authorised repairer has determined if it’s actually faulty or not.”
I imagine it’s different in restaurants- there is likely someone there who can fix a problem- but in general, in corporate retail? Demanding the person behind the counter (or their manager) “Just fix it” is optimistic at best and impossible at worst.
---
### Author:  [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/182 "2009-11-06T17:14:45Z")
Don’t remove my plate while I’m still chewing the last bite. This happens to me way more often than you would imagine.
---
### Author:  [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/183 "2009-11-06T22:42:11Z")
> [@devilsknew](#):
>
> Standards are good, I just don’t like the wethering of the flock.
A total aside: I just wanted to say that this may be the first time I’ve ever seen the word “wether” dropped in random conversation. Very nice ;).
On topic: I really… _really_ hate “are you still working on that?” There is really no way this can be said that doesn’t sound like “and will you hurry your ass up so I can turn this table?” or “good og, are you _still_ eating?”
Also seconding the concept of not yoinking my plate out from under me while I’m still masticating that last bite. A few weeks ago I had a server pull a double-whammy, catching me mid-chew with “are you still working on that?” said while simultaneously snatching it out from under me, with a half-gnawed piece of bread in one hand, a fork in the other, and a small amount of food still on the plate. Damn. There’s efficiency, then there’s “_efficiency_”.
---
### Author:  [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/184 "2009-11-06T22:48:06Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#):
>
> #52 (“Know your menu inside out”) brings up a pet peeve of mine about servers. If your restaurant/bar has 18 beers on tap, it’s a pretty good bet you’re not catering to the Bud Lite crowd, so _teach the staff SOMETHING about beer before turning them loose to serve the public_. It really chaps me going into a place like that and asking if they have a porter (or stout or hefeweizen or some other common style) and having the server not know what it is. Many don’t even know the difference between a lager and an ale–which is akin to not knowing the difference between a red and a white wine.
Oh, man, yes. The other side of this is when I am traveling, and a bar/restaurant has a local brew on tap, and when I ask what kind of beer it is, they’ll say “it’s dark” as if they first thing I want to know is what color it is. Even lager vs. ale would suffice.
---
### Author:  [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/185 "2009-11-06T22:55:03Z")
I’ve picked up a piece of bread to take a bite and had the server snatch away the plate so I didn’t have anywhere to set the bread down. That was annoying.
---
### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/186 "2009-11-06T23:27:39Z")
> [@NajaNivea](#):
>
> Also seconding the concept of not yoinking my plate out from under me while I’m still masticating that last bite. A few weeks ago I had a server pull a double-whammy, catching me mid-chew with “are you still working on that?” said while simultaneously snatching it out from under me, with a half-gnawed piece of bread in one hand, a fork in the other, and a small amount of food still on the plate. Damn. There’s efficiency, then there’s “_efficiency_”.
> [@InvisibleWombat](#):
>
> I’ve picked up a piece of bread to take a bite and had the server snatch away the plate so I didn’t have anywhere to set the bread down. That was annoying.
Aaaccckkk! There is _never_ a good excuse for _any_ server to remove a plate from the table you are still sitting at, without _asking_ first! I don’t expect them to bow to me then kneel at my feet while awaiting my reply or anything; but a simple “can I get any of these dishes out of your way?” is perfectly acceptable!
I dunno, maybe being a waiter is like being in customer service: if you’ve never done it, you shouldn’t judge. And while I _have_ done customer service, I’ve never been a waiter. But damn, some things just strike me as unnecessarily rude, and removing a plate I may still _conceivably_ be using, without asking first, strikes me as one of those unnecessarily rude things.
---
### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2009, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/187 "2009-11-07T06:09:30Z")
How about this one?
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
I could see not doing it because it’s “too familiar” but how is it insulting someone else? By that rationale, EVERY compliment is a insult of someone else.
---
### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/188 "2009-11-07T12:39:44Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> How about this one?
>
> I could see not doing it because it’s “too familiar” but how is it insulting someone else? By that rationale, EVERY compliment is a insult of someone else.
In this one, I got the impression that the server could be conceived as insulting anyone else _in that party_. I can see the point, kind of. When my two oldest daughters were young, the younger of the two had the thickest, curliest, most beautiful hair you’d ever want, while my oldest had ‘meh’ hair. Every time I took the two of them somewhere together, people would _gush_ over how gorgeous the youngest’s hair was. They never said _anything_ to the oldest one. It got to a point where I felt bad _for_ her.
Still, those are kids we’re talking about, not grown ups. And there’s also probably a really tactful way of complimenting one particular thing that wouldn’t make anyone feel bad. Something like “Oh, I just love your sweater! My favorite Aunt Martha used to wear that exact shade of blue all the time, and it never fails to remind me of her when I see it!” or something like that. But teaching a server the _correct_ way to compliment is probably a lot harder than saying “Just don’t”.
---
### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/189 "2009-11-07T14:23:33Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> I could see not doing it because it’s “too familiar” but how is it insulting someone else? By that rationale, EVERY compliment is a insult of someone else.
There a very old school of thought in etiquette that one should not make “personal remarks.” This includes any remark on a person’s appearance, whether bad or good. The underlying idea is that if you say something about a person’s appearance, even if positive, that you have revealed that you are evaluating that person. This line of thinking was probably only observed in certain snooty circles and is largely outmoded today.
I don’t get the idea about it being an “insult” to others, but it can make some feel left out.
A server in a restaurant is probably safest taking a neutral position, although a really smart one will be able to read a crowd and work the room if the atmosphere of the restaurant is casual. Most are not able to pull that off.
---
### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/190 "2009-11-07T18:01:23Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#):
>
> I don’t get the idea about it being an “insult” to others, but it can make some feel left out.
I’ve run into a situation a number of times where I’ve complimented a female coworker who showed up to work with a new hairstyle — often a style more flattering to her than her usual hairstyle — only to have her tell me something like, “Oh, I overslept and didn’t have time to [fix/curl/whatever] my hair today.” And I silently wish she’d permanently stop [fixing/curling/whatevering] her hair, because the simpler style looks much better on her. Granted, this has happened less frequently in recent years as long, straight hair has come back into fashion.
So I can see a situation where there are two or more women in a group and you compliment one’s hair, and she happens to be the one in the group who didn’t do anything special with her hair that day, and the other(s) _know_ this. And if they spent considerable time or money on a fancy 'do, I can see them being offended when you compliment the one with the “plain” hair. They may feel their effort was wasted.
Alternatively, the one you complimented may think you’re being sarcastic.
---
### Author:  [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/191 "2009-11-07T18:34:11Z")
> [@Maiira](#):
>
> A tone of insincerity or sarcasm? Where the hell does this idea come from? I’ve never, ever seen this phrase as anything other than another way to say “you’re welcome.” I think this guy needs to get over himself.
Yeah, that rule is nonsense. No phrase whatsoever can be insincere or sarcastic in and of itself - it’s the tone that makes it so, and it can be done for practically every phrase. I could pull of a sarcastic ‘I love you, honey’ or an insincere ‘you’re welcome’ without batting an eyelid.
I guess you could argue that ‘no problem’ might seem to suggest, when taken literally, that a costumer might worry that something might be a problem for a waiter, and needs to be reassured that it isn’t. To that I say: meh. It’s just an idiom and shouldn’t be taken literally.
---
### Author:  [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/192 "2009-11-08T18:42:46Z")
1. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
SOOOO FREAKING TRUE!!!
If I have a plateful of food, and I don’t ask for a box for the rest of it, clearly something was not up to snuff about the food.
---
### Author:  [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/193 "2009-11-08T20:28:54Z")
> [@Serenata67](#):
>
> 1. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
>
> SOOOO FREAKING TRUE!!!
>
> If I have a plateful of food, and I don’t ask for a box for the rest of it, clearly something was not up to snuff about the food.
If I had a plate of food that I could not eat, I think I would speak up on my own, as opposed to waiting and hoping that the server inquired as to what was wrong.
BTW—I am one of the least demanding customers in the world, and almost NEVER complain about food or service. If its not a major mistake, I just try to go with the flow and make the best of it. I eat out a lot, and have sent stuff back only twice that I can ever remember. That said, if the food is so off that I cant eat it at all, I will certainly say something, and not wait to see if anyone asks about it…
---
### Author:  [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/194 "2009-11-08T21:25:33Z")
God, this article made me feel stabby. Obviously there are grains of truth in it, but overall I get the impression that the author feels customer service workers should be automatons programmed to service him (and to be completely depersonalized, yet somehow also mysteriously friendly and warm?). People like that give me instant flashing red lights. How fucking self-entitled do you have to be to care about the majority of the things on the list?
spoiler: very
---
### Author:  [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/195 "2009-11-08T21:27:53Z")
Or, to put it more accurately, many of the list items are not in and of themselves terrible ideas, but delivered as snotty truisms, come off as insufferably condescending.
---
### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/196 "2009-11-08T21:44:04Z")
> [@Lama\_Pacos](#):
>
> God, this article made me feel stabby. Obviously there are grains of truth in it, but overall I get the impression that the author feels customer service workers should be automatons programmed to service him (and to be completely depersonalized, yet somehow also mysteriously friendly and warm?). People like that give me instant flashing red lights. How fucking self-entitled do you have to be to care about the majority of the things on the list?
>
> spoiler: very
> [@Lama\_Pacos](#):
>
> Or, to put it more accurately, many of the list items are not in and of themselves terrible ideas, but delivered as snotty truisms, come off as insufferably condescending.
But they’re his, and one would assume expressed in the interview to work at his place. No one has to be a waiter or waitress for this dude.
---
### Author:  [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/197 "2009-11-09T15:18:10Z")
> [@Lama\_Pacos](#):
>
> …but overall I get the impression that the author feels customer service workers should be automatons programmed to service him (and to be completely depersonalized, yet somehow also mysteriously friendly and warm?). People like that give me instant flashing red lights. How fucking self-entitled do you have to be to care about the majority of the things on the list?
I think the list is by a restaurant owner, thus he’s trying to ensure that his customers are treated well.
---
### Author:  [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/198 "2009-11-09T16:41:38Z")
> [@Balthisar](#):
>
> I think the list is by a restaurant owner, thus he’s trying to ensure that his customers are treated well.
As was discussed at length earlier in the thread, the list is by someone who is planning to open a restaurant. He has no prior restaurant experience, and this is how he plans to run his new place.
---
### Author:  [@baileygrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baileygrrrl)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/199 "2009-11-09T17:45:26Z")
After reading this thread, I’ve decided I am going to start tipping at a higher percentage. There is just no way to please everyone.
---
### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/200 "2009-11-09T20:22:42Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> I get asked this a lot, but I don’t see it as rude. I usually don’t finish everything in front of me because I have something of a small appetite (I’m little!). So I just figure it’s just them not aware if I’ve finished or if I’m taking a break or whatnot. It’s a lot better than, **“Whatsamatta, you not like-a the food”** or “Eat, eat, you’re nothing but skin and bones.”
[Amateur](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpMkRIXhLH0)… 😃
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091.md?page=9)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091.md?page=11)