# 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 2, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091 "2009-11-02T19:51:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 13
### Author:  [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/241 "2009-11-14T14:11:02Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#):
>
> The restaurant business will _chew you up and spit you out._ I have seen, personally, the downfall of too many restaurants - great restaurants, at that - to have anything but the most cynical outlook towards them.
I wonder (seriously!) how all of the crappy, low-end restaurants stay around and survive. I don’t mean big, national chains like Denny’s (presumably they have enough good stores located somewhere that balances out the ones in Michigan that universally suck). But I mean all of the tiny little “family style” restaurants that have Denny’s-like menus and Denny’s-like service. Ram’s Horn. Johnny’s Ham III. Bubba’s Coney Island.
If I were to ever be a restauranteur, this is _not_ the concept that I’d emulate, however it appears to be successful for whatever reason.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/242 "2009-11-14T14:55:54Z")
Sheesh, how did I miss that this guy has no real restaurant experience?
I always tell people the recipe for a successful restaurant is three simple ingredients;
Good food, warm atmosphere, great service. Simple, huh?
Of course, it’s equally true that there are literally thousands of ways for any restaurant, with those three ingredients, to still go wrong.
No experience, yikes, I’m a little scared for the guy now.
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### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/243 "2009-11-14T15:48:16Z")
> [@devilsknew](#):
>
> Sorry, I meant is there ever an appropriate time to do vice versey… serve from the right, remove from the left? Because it is not a hard and fast rule, depending on seating and place setting. Seating and complicated multicourse settings I have found can sometimes turn organic in “big top” tables, pulling together banquettes and large tables, and coming and going mingling customers, can make for times when best judgement is etiquette. The server can play his etiquette card and try to confab the table, or the server can follow the lead and organic synthesis of the table.
This “rule” was developed in the context of formal dinners with domestic servants, and I believe may have been adapted to some extent to more formal restaurant settings. But in restuarants the guests are not served from platters by a waiter, so it doens’t matter so much in any practical sense and very few people even think about it at all.
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### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/244 "2009-11-14T18:14:26Z")
> [@elbows](#):
>
> Sheesh, how did I miss that this guy has no real restaurant experience?
Well, I pointed it out way back in post #39:
[QUOTE=Mister Rik]
His little bio there says this:
“_Bruce Buschel — an author, magazine writer, co-creator of an Off Broadway musical, and director/producer of jazz films — writes about his latest venture: building and starting a seafood restaurant._”
Yeeeaaah… clearly fully qualified to enter the restaurant business One of the changes I’ve noticed in my 2+ decades in the business is that, where local restaurants used to be owned and run by actual restaurant people — cooks/chefs/waiters who spent years working in the industry before starting up their own, nowadays more and more restaurants are being opened by people who were successful and made their money in a completely unrelated industry, and now they think it would be cool to own a restaurant. And too many of those people have a fantasy idea of how a restaurant works. The ones I’ve seen have success in restaurants are the ones who are clever/non-egotistical enough to accept that they don’t know the business, and so they hire people with experience and let them do their jobs. The failures are the ones who think their success in another industry will automatically translate to success in restaurants, and try to micromanage everything.
[/QUOTE]
Unless this guy has some extensive past experience in the business that he has neglected to mention, his smartest move will be to provide the concept and the financial backing, then hire competent people to handle the actual day-to-day running of the place, _and keep his own hands off_.
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### Author:  [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)
#### Post date: [November 15, 2009, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/245 "2009-11-15T12:35:00Z")
> [@gigi](#):
>
> Speaking of smart remarks, my friend mentioned this one:
>
> “If you need anything, my name is Bob.”
>
> “What’s your name if we don’t need anything?”
> \*\*Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do it.
I would love you FOREVER if you did that. I love folks that break out of the mold.
The No Touching Rule: Bugs me. I tend to touch someone lightly on the shoulder when I am coming up behind them to clear a plate or fill their glass. I’d startled a few folks before I started doing it. It is one thing when they can see you coming, another when they can’t. I suppose I could yell “Boo!”
I’m working at a very laid back, home style restaurant. Lots of seasonal regulars. Customers like being remembered. The owner? Doesn’t think we should speak to the customers one word more than is necessary to take their orders. The problem with that? I’m obviously not from here and get asked a lot why I moved here, how I like living here, etc. I’m in a vacation spot, everyone that comes here pretty much wants to move here.
As with any rules, especially if you have 100 of them, your mileage may vary. Having a server that can feel out their customers needs, versus one that rigidly applies a set of rules, is worth far more than $2.15 an hour.
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### Author:  [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2009, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/246 "2009-11-16T03:59:04Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#):
>
> and damn it, they almost always list the vinaigrette LAST.
>
> .
Nah - the Zambezi water lemon crisp is always last - you should just learn to like American mayonaisse
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/247 "2009-11-16T15:07:46Z")
> [@Auntbeast](#):
>
> The No Touching Rule: Bugs me. I tend to touch someone lightly on the shoulder when I am coming up behind them to clear a plate or fill their glass.
As with most other things, it depends. If you try to serve dinner when I’m telling a tale and gesticulating wildly, I’d rather have you touch my shoulder to get my attention than end up letting me accidentally knock a plate of food across the table. I have no problem at all with you making contact as you squeeze by in a crowded restaurant, or brushing against me as you reach in to put a drink on the table. It’s tough not to.
But I don’t appreciate having a waitress stand with her hand on my shoulder while reciting the specials (which has happened to me several times).
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### Author:  [@Recliner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recliner)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/248 "2009-11-18T04:10:19Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#):
>
> I see this happening in some of the chains I go to, and I believe that it’s actually encouraged by the management. Also, kneeling to take an order is supposed to generate bigger tips, on average. Personally, I don’t want one of the restaurant staff to sit down at my table unless I invite him or her, nor do I want someone to kneel to take my order. I have, on occasion, asked a staffer to sit down if they have the time, but I always leave them a face-saving excuse.
I’ve only seen the “sit down with the group” thing at big chain “family” joints like TGI Fridays, Applebees, etc. I have little doubt its either encouraged or at least completely tolerated by management, because it seems confined to these kinds of places – and places like these have everything about their business codified. I assume some study somewhere found that the “sitting down” thing made people feel “at home”, or encouraged people to order appetizers and booze (much like how these places actively SUGGEST appetizers and booze). So there’s a profit motive somewhere, and despite people claiming they don’t like it, somewhere someone’s demonstrated that its effective.
Another good reason to avoid family chain restaurants. They’re a little too clever with parting you from your money. And they do it in ways that they know actively annoy people.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/249 "2009-11-18T18:26:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’ve only seen the “sit down with the group” thing at big chain “family” joints like TGI Fridays, Applebees, etc.
Apparently, Hooters girls are encouraged to sit down with the customers when they aren’t busy elsewhere. My brother loves Hooters because of this.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/250 "2009-11-18T18:39:50Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#):
>
> Apparently, Hooters girls are encouraged to sit down with the customers when they aren’t busy elsewhere. My brother loves Hooters because of this.
So if Ethel over at Mo’s Diner sits down with your brother, he’ll like it too? 😉
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/251 "2009-11-18T18:41:25Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#):
>
> Apparently, Hooters girls are encouraged to sit down with the customers when they aren’t busy elsewhere. My brother loves Hooters because of this.
Exactly. Big chain family joints 😉
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### Author:  [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/252 "2009-11-22T18:32:29Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#):
>
> The staff doesn’t have anything to do with setting the prices, nor do they have the ability to change them or give you free food. How about just not trying to chisel freebies out of the waitstaff? They have enough headaches.
Huh? Dip with wings is some sort of generous extra treat now? What’s next, charging for salad dressing?
If the manager of a place told me that they sold their buffalo wings separate from the dip and I would have to pay $5 more if I wanted more than a spoonful of dip with my $45 worth of wings, then I would tell him to keep his damn wings and walk out without paying anything.
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#):
>
> I ate at a Chinese restaurant in London that was legendary for the rudeness of their staff.
Won Kei or whatever it was called? Never been there, but it sounds about right.
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### Author:  [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/253 "2009-11-22T18:57:45Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#):
>
> Of course, that gave me the evil idea that, if I had my own restaurant, I could make a killing by posting daily “specials” that are merely regular menu items marked _up_ a dollar. Let’s hear it for taking advantage of the elderly! 😃
Cracker Barrel came close when I worked there. Every day they had a dish listed as the day’s “Feature” prominently displayed over the host station. At least a dozen times a day I had to explain that it wasn’t on sale, and nothing extra came with it–it was the same chicken and dumplings that’s on the menu, and we had just elected to call it the “feature” that day.
Occasionally it broke out into an actual argument–they knew it was on sale, since the sign at the host station said so, and I just didn’t know what I was talking about. I’d get the manager, who more often than not just knocked a buck off of it to validate the customer’s hissy fit and make me look like an idiot.
Can’t say I miss that place.
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