# 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 2, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091 "2009-11-02T19:51:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/41 "2009-11-03T04:04:19Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#):
>
> Blech! That’s such an OBVIOUS thing, at the very least the server should have noticed it when he was bringing it!
>
> Some years back, there was a sit-down restaurant at a mall near us. One of several locations of a small chain. We had several decent meals there over the course of a year or two, but we could tell it was getting less and less traffic. The last time we went there… you know the kids’ drinks a lot of chains like Ruby Tuesday etc. have? the plastic cup with firmly-snapped-on lid, with a hole for a pretty robust straw (as in, not a 1.49 for a hundred disposable)… Well, the waiter brought my kid such a drink.
>
> Which would have been fine…
>
> except the straw had clearly already been used, and had been CHEWED UP.
>
> I made them bring me a replacement, and that was the last time I ate there. It was gone a month or two later.
I’ve seen this from both the front and back of restaurants. Their defense is, “we run them through the dishwasher!”. Blech, indeed.
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/42 "2009-11-03T04:07:32Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#):
>
> Don’t ask, “Have you been to [restaurant name] before?” and then launch into an explanation of how your restaurant is unique. Your restaurant is not unique unless you are going to get under the table and blow me. Then your restaurant _is_ unique and I would like to hear more about it. After you’re done blowing me.
I’ve never considered this before, but I agree. In my experience the “unique quality” at most boils down to serving food on a large family-style platter.
“Have you been to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ before?”
“No, but I thoroughly researched it on Wikipedia just before we arrived.”
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/43 "2009-11-03T04:11:16Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#):
>
> Write the info down, sure. Dig up a device to steam a label off a bottle? What a waste of time unless your restaurant is Very High End and has the appropriate equipment Right There - as in about as difficult to access / use as the coffeemaker.
Granted, I think this particular item is over-the-top. _However_, I have removed many a label when re-using bottles (I used to homebrew beer a lot), and I’ve found that if your sink puts out really hot water, just holding the bottle under the running water for a moment will usually cause the label to slide right off. No special equipment required.
> [@Zjestika](#):
>
> Overall the list seems fine to me, but one thing I always wondered as a server was what I _was_ supposed to call people. Women hate “you guys” or “girls” or “ladies,” men also hate “you guys,” and “gentlemen” is weird to say, and there’s no plural for mixed groups (except "you guys"or “folks”). Other than excising the plural entirely what’s a server to do?
Well, “you” is a plural, after all, and if you’re not looking any one individual in the eye, the meaning should be clear. If not, recast the sentence:
[ul]
[li]Would anyone like a drink?[/li][li]What would you all like for starters? (note: that’s “you all” – not “y’all”)[/li][li]Is everyone’s dinner okay?[/li][/ul]
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/44 "2009-11-03T04:15:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Do not announce your name. No jokes, **no flirting, no cuteness**
Having been married to a bartender and dating a few; I find this statement very amusing. Obviously the author isn’t at all interested in making any tip money.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/45 "2009-11-03T05:02:14Z")
Truthfully, I don’t care what my server’s name is, and unless s/he leaves a little card or other note on the table, I’m not going to remember it in five minutes. When I eat out, I want to get out of the house, and eat stuff that I normally wouldn’t bother to cook. I’m not there to strike up a personal relationship with the server. I acknowledge that s/he’s human, but I’m not looking to make friends, at least not in the first interaction. I actually have become friends with some servers, and ask after their family members, for instance. But unless I get the same server with some regularity, I’m not going to remember his/her name. Really. I just want my food served properly, and I don’t need my arm rubbed while I’m ordering.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/46 "2009-11-03T05:07:30Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#):
>
> I didn’t say I expected the run of the house. I simply ask that the waiter not come to the table and start talking over me. At least let me finish a sentence, for Christ’s sake. That’s just basic courtesy.
I swear that certain waiters have the preternatural ability to break in with “Is everything okay?” at the precise moment when I am about to get to the punch line of a joke. Without eavesdropping, I can tell when someone whose attention I’m trying to get has gotten to the end of an utterance.
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### Author:  [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/47 "2009-11-03T05:26:57Z")
Most of these are okay advice, but some of them, like another poster suggested, actually go against restaurant policy. My advice for waitstaff would be to follow your work’s policy, NOT that of some blogger.
Also…
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
A tone of insincerity or sarcasm? Where the hell does this idea come from? I’ve never, ever seen this phrase as anything other than another way to say “you’re welcome.” I think this guy needs to get over himself.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/48 "2009-11-03T06:22:48Z")
I’ll offer a #52. (or 55, 70, whatever). Never sit down at the table while taking orders. I seriously hate that.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/49 "2009-11-03T06:23:30Z")
Many of those things are different in different locations/price ranges/countries/whatever (I don’t expect the same behavior from a waiter in Chicote and from one in Applebee’s), others are the writer’s personal pet peeves, but I don’t understand this one:
> [@](#):
>
> 1. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
Why for red wine only?
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### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/50 "2009-11-03T06:34:31Z")
> [@Nava](#):
>
> Why for red wine only?
I’m not much of a wine drinker, but I’m going to guess it has something to do with sediments that are commonly present in red wines, but not in whites.
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### Author:  [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/51 "2009-11-03T06:42:53Z")
> [@bouv](#):
>
> That list is clearly written by someone who not only has never worked in food service, but deems the “lowly waitstaff” to be beneath them, at that. The little gem about not wanting servers to give out names is fucking ridiculous.
Agreed. My personal favorite:
[QUOTE=NYT]
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not the advice that bothers me, but the fact that an author thinks the average restaurant goer knows what an amuse-bouche is, or would feel entitled to one for having to wait a long time. Honestly, when someone is that unfamiliar with the common man I have to wonder whether it’s intentional.
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### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/52 "2009-11-03T06:58:49Z")
> [@brickbacon](#):
>
> It’s not the advice that bothers me, but the fact that an author thinks the average restaurant goer knows what an amuse-bouche is, or would feel entitled to one for having to wait a long time. Honestly, when someone is that unfamiliar with the common man I have to wonder whether it’s intentional.
[It appears to something commonly served in the type of restaurants I can’t imagine ever being able to afford to patronize](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amuse-bouche).
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### Author:  [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/53 "2009-11-03T07:21:41Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#):
>
> [ul]
> [li]What would you all like for starters? (note: that’s “you all” – not “y’all”)[/li][/ul]
Actually, in English, we say “all of you,” not “you all,” and certainly not its contraction “y’all.”
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/54 "2009-11-03T07:23:43Z")
I believe the author is the owner of a restaurant and these are the rules he uses for the running of his business. He is setting a tone and holding his staff to a high standard, that’s his right.
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/55 "2009-11-03T07:26:52Z")
Missed the edit window, but this is the first sentence of the article: “Herewith is a modest list of dos and don’ts for servers at the seafood restaurant I am building.”
Of course his staff is going to know what an amuse-bouche is, I’m sure amuse-bouche will be on the menu.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/56 "2009-11-03T07:33:10Z")
Amuse-bouches should NOT be on the menu, they’re a little bit to eat that’s on the house. Those little dishes with peanuts are the “couldn’t afford no private school” version of amuse-bouches. The wikipedia definition talks only about the “posh” version, but that’s like someone claiming that the huevos rancheros from Casa Pancho aren’t “proper.”
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/57 "2009-11-03T08:42:31Z")
Fine, on the menu was a poor choice of words. How about “offered by the restaurant.” My point being that it is something a restaurant owner would expect his staff to know about since it is offered by his establishment.
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### Author:  [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/58 "2009-11-03T08:53:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated._
A major irritant for me are tables that wobble. I’m amazed at how often I come across this, and end up having to wedge bits of paper under one of the legs.
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### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/59 "2009-11-03T08:55:40Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#):
>
> Their name doesn’t matter. If you speak to someone else on the restaurant’s staff about them, they’ll know who you’re talking about by what table you’re sitting at. If you see them, you get their attention by making eye contact or by saying “Excuse me”. You never have a need to use their name. If you care, ask, but introducing themselves is a folksy touch many of us could do without.
I agree completely.
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### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/60 "2009-11-03T09:24:10Z")
A basic issue here is that there are different sorts of restaurants, and the list is written for one sort, and some of you are criticising it for not being a suitable list for another sort.
We eat with the children at one neighbourhood restaurant almost every Saturday. We know the owners’ names and vice versa and their more regular waitress likewise. If the waitress acted all formal and proper it would be just unnatural and wrong, given what regulars we are, and vice versa.
Contrastingly, when my wife and I go out to a really nice formal restaurant, what **Lyn** , \*\*Gus \*\*and \*\*Martini \*\*said. I have no wish to be rude to the waitstaff, and I certainly want to give and get a basic level of good manners. I will (truly) appreciate the waitstaff as humans with real skill and ability at their job if they are there when I need them for what I need them for, but they make a conscious decision not to behave in a way that requires me to be particularly human towards them.
The basic rules of human interaction mean that once someone introduces themselves as “Sally” and makes chatty comments at me I have to either interact back, or feel like a heel for freezing them out. I have nothing against Sally but I just didn’t come here to interact with her at all apart from to order etc, and every moment I’m doing that is time I am not interacting with my wife/client etc which is what I came to the restaurant to do.
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