# 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 2, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091 "2009-11-02T19:51:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 9
### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/161 "2009-11-05T19:37:17Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> Yep. Never assume there’s going to be a tip. (Of course, I would say, "I will be right back with your change, leaving the guest an opening to say either “Thank you” or “Nope, keep it.” But I never asked if they wanted the change.)
Indeed (which is how waters in _my restaurant_ will say ‘this’. 😃 ) Though in fact, if I’m paying in cash, I’ll usually not give them the chance to ask, if I mean them to keep the change. They take the bill, with cash, and I’ll just say “Don’t bother with the change” or something like that.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/162 "2009-11-05T19:40:52Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> I also assume in high end places (the most high end I’ve been to is Emeril’s) is that it is considered gauche to ask for a doggy bag?
I sure hope not. I often do. IMO, it’s better not to waste than to be gauche.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/163 "2009-11-05T19:43:27Z")
I remember when I was about 13 my parents took us to Atlanta on a slash vacation/business trip for my dad. We ate at the Abbey (is that still around?) and my mother took home her leftover Beef Wellington in an aluminum foil swan. I think that’s the swankiest place we ate while I was growing up. I remember there was a harpist.
So maybe the server won’t roll his eyes at you for asking to take home the rest of the filet mignon with the cinnamon bacon port wine reduction sauce?
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/164 "2009-11-05T20:24:15Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> It means you assumed that there was the possibility that you MIGHT be getting a tip. You need to be put into your place, you rascal. How dare you assume that your betters would reward you for the privilege of waiting on them? Just for that, you get nothing. 😃
>
> No, really, I don’t get it, but that’s the vibe I get from a LOT of people.
Well what’s wrong with saying “how much change would you like back?”
Functionally it serves the same purpose as “would you like any change.” But this would seem rude and presumptious, wouldn’t it?
It’s a dance you play. Servers don’t ask about the tip and guests don’t flaunt the possibility of a tip in the server’s face. Both need to pretend to be chaste about the issue even though the transaction’s going through the vast majority of the time.
It’s like going on a date with a wayward Catholic schoolgirl. It would be uncouth to start the conversation asking for a handjob behind the stadium bleachers even though everyone knows she’ll be giving it up every which way but one by the end of the night.
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### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/165 "2009-11-05T20:31:14Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> I also assume in high end places (the most high end I’ve been to is Emeril’s) is that it is considered gauche to ask for a doggy bag?
Well, I haven’t eaten at any _really_ high-end establishments, but in my experience, the fancier places will offer to take it back to the kitchen and package it _for_ you to take home, while the lower-end places will bring a styrofoam container to the table. (Of course, in the _really_ low-end places, you can just re-wrap the sandwich in the paper it _came_ in. . .) 😉
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/166 "2009-11-05T21:29:37Z")
> [@norinew](#):
>
> Yeah, I’m a pretty slow eater, with a somewhat-smaller-than-normal appetite, and I often get asked “Are you still working on that?”
>
> **I notice, in the list, the blogger _doesn’t_ suggest an alternative. Not saying there’s not a better one out there, but I can’t think of one that’s not _more_ offensive than ‘are you still working on that?’** I’d like to see what this would-be restaurateur thinks the server should say? Maybe he thinks they shouldn’t say _anything_ until the diner signals that they’re ready for the check? That might be fine. It would be fine with me. But you’re going to have a percentage of customers who feel _ignored_ if this is the approach. . .
>
> Bottom line, no matter how long your list, _someone_ is going to be offended by _something_ the server does! (Including people who will be offended by the server seeming to have too many ‘rules’ foisted upon him/her).
I like when a server will just address the entire table during a refill check by asking, “Can I clear any plates?” That makes it sound like they’re doing the table a favor by taking away anything that’s no longer needed and crowding the table.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/167 "2009-11-05T22:16:29Z")
> [@Enderw24](#):
>
> Well what’s wrong with saying “how much change would you like back?”
> Functionally it serves the same purpose as “would you like any change.” But this would seem rude and presumptious, wouldn’t it?
But that’s what the delivery dude says…😃 Okay, I see your point. I personally don’t get annoyed but I guess I can see why others might.
Can we still agree that “No problem” is pretty innocuous?
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### Author:  [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/168 "2009-11-05T22:45:02Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> We ate at the Abbey (is that still around?)
Nope - it closed three or four years ago and reopened as - get this! - a church!
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### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [November 5, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/169 "2009-11-05T23:38:50Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#):
>
> I like when a server will just address the entire table during a refill check by asking, “Can I clear any plates?” That makes it sound like they’re doing the table a favor by taking away anything that’s no longer needed and crowding the table.
Well, probably about half the time I eat out at restaurants that _have_ waiters (i.e., the kind where you don’t have to unwrap your food), I’m alone. Still, I guess even solo, there’s probably unnecessary crap on the table where the waiter can say “Can I take any of this out of your way?” Leaving me open to say “Oh, yes, and can I have a carry-out box please?” or “Yes, and could you wrap this up for me, please?”
That would be a good alternative. When I originally posted, I was below my requisite sleep hours and put in a hard day of work! 😉 Thanks for looking out for me! (I’ve since had a nap, and feel much better!)
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### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/170 "2009-11-06T00:00:58Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> I guess that works, **ivylass**. I suppose the “Are you still working on that” might bug me if I wasn’t finished and I was just a slow eater but since I’m a fast but just small portioned eater, it doesn’t. I don’t really see “Are you still working on that” as rude in any case.
It’s not rude, exactly, but it’s overly familiar/brusque for some people. No, I am not \*working \*on _anything_. I am eating.
> [@](#):
>
> But then, I’m one of those people who doesn’t see “No problem” as biting sarcasm and "Do you need change?"as an example of an impudent young scrap needing to be put in his place.
I don’t mind “No problem” but sometimes colloquialisms get annoying. Once at Bertucci’s the female server responded to almost everything I said with, “Awesome!”
“I’ll have the fettuccine.”
“Awesome!”
I hate to be asked if I want change. If I don’t want change I say so when they pick up the payment. Asking me if I want change might as well be, “Are you going to leave me a tip?”
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### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/171 "2009-11-06T00:06:09Z")
_63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right._
This is one that everybody who works in any public-facing business needs to learn. You are the business’s face to the customer–you \*are \*the restaurant. If something goes wrong, apologize to the customer on behalf of the business and make it right. Do not assign blame, nobody really cares whose fault it is. I have had servers blame the kitchen for problems many times and it’s very tiresome.
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/172 "2009-11-06T00:09:35Z")
#52 (“Know your menu inside out”) brings up a pet peeve of mine about servers. If your restaurant/bar has 18 beers on tap, it’s a pretty good bet you’re not catering to the Bud Lite crowd, so _teach the staff SOMETHING about beer before turning them loose to serve the public_. It really chaps me going into a place like that and asking if they have a porter (or stout or hefeweizen or some other common style) and having the server not know what it is. Many don’t even know the difference between a lager and an ale–which is akin to not knowing the difference between a red and a white wine.
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> If the table is cleared of dishes, the dessert is eaten, and they’re sipping on coffee and have declined refills, I think it’s okay to bring the check. That way the guest has it. They may take their time paying it, but at least they don’t have to hunt the server down.
I agree, but as **norinew** said, it’s nice to have the server say something like, “No hurry on the check. Take as long as you like.”
> [@norinew](#):
>
> Definitely agree with _not_ asking “do you need change?” Grrrrr, that chaps my hide.
This one’s easy to take care of. Just say, “I’ll be right back with your change.” Then the customer has the opportunity to respond with, “No, it’s yours,” or “Okay.”
> [@drastic\_quench](#):
>
> I always get asked, “Are you still working on that?”
>
> I hadn’t realized how annoying that is until now. And it’s always at some place that serves their food in a plastic basket.
This brings up another one. I have no objection whatsoever to receiving my fish ‘n’ chips in a plastic basket. But when I order something that requires a knife and fork, put it on a plate, please. I don’t like cutting through the paper and spilling sauce all over the table.
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/173 "2009-11-06T00:37:52Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#):
>
> #52 (“Know your menu inside out”) brings up a pet peeve of mine about servers. If your restaurant/bar has 18 beers on tap, it’s a pretty good bet you’re not catering to the Bud Lite crowd, so _teach the staff SOMETHING about beer before turning them loose to serve the public_.
Similarly, teach the servers about booze, period. I remember the time I was in an upscale place and ordered a martini made with Bombay Sapphire; only to have her tell me she had never heard of Bombay Sapphire and didn’t think they had any of that kind of vodka, but would Smirnoff be okay? A little discussion, and, I realized I was dealing with a server who had never heard of a martini made only with gin and dry vermouth–she thought they were always vodka-and-whatever (as in cosmopolitans, appletinis, chocolatinis, and other abberations). Once we got that cleared up, and I told her what to have the barman do, he made and she served a pretty good martini.
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/174 "2009-11-06T02:07:42Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#):
>
> #52 (“Know your menu inside out”) brings up a pet peeve of mine about servers. If your restaurant/bar has 18 beers on tap, it’s a pretty good bet you’re not catering to the Bud Lite crowd, so _teach the staff SOMETHING about beer before turning them loose to serve the public_. It really chaps me going into a place like that and asking if they have a porter (or stout or hefeweizen or some other common style) and having the server not know what it is. Many don’t even know the difference between a lager and an ale–which is akin to not knowing the difference between a red and a white wine.
As a beer geek myself, YES!
My old practice, if there wasn’t a tap list, was to politely ask the server, “What beers do you have on tap - besides the Bud, Miller, and Coors stuff.” This is because most servers when asked what’s on tap start with their most popular, the above adjunct lagers, and sort of pause after Bud Light, because 90% of the time, that’s enough of the list.
That tactic wasn’t as successful as it should have been. Servers were spacing on the three other beers on tap too often. So these days, I swing through the bar and read the damn taps myself. Works every time.
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### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/175 "2009-11-06T02:46:48Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#):
>
> _63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right._
>
> This is one that everybody who works in any public-facing business needs to learn. You are the business’s face to the customer–you \*are \*the restaurant. If something goes wrong, apologize to the customer on behalf of the business and make it right. Do not assign blame, nobody really cares whose fault it is. I have had servers blame the kitchen for problems many times and it’s very tiresome.
The problem is that often in business there’s no-one who _can_ make it right.
In my own experiences in retail, for example, there might be a situation where a customer’s mobile phone was sent off for repair and the repair place would knock it back, claiming “water damage” or “this phone has been dropped” or any one of a number of reasons that invalidated the warranty. And about 50% of the time, the customer would hit the roof and demand a new phone or something like that. Store management didn’t have the authority to do that (phones being expensive), and the Area Manager would never approve it because Head Office had a policy saying _UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL PHONES BE EXCHANGED OR REFUNDED OUTSIDE THE EARLY LIFE FAILURE PERIOD._
And none of us at store level were paid enough to be abused by customers whose phones had stopped working for whatever reason and the warranty people had determined that reason was due to customer mistreatment of the phone.
Modern corporate structures (in retail) are basically set up so there’s no way for front-line staff to “make things right” without risking their jobs- which they’re unlikely to do, for obvious reasons.
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### Author:  [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/176 "2009-11-06T03:56:52Z")
> [@Spoons](#):
>
> Similarly, teach the servers about booze, period. I remember the time I was in an upscale place and ordered a martini made with Bombay Sapphire; only to have her tell me she had never heard of Bombay Sapphire and didn’t think they had any of that kind of vodka, but would Smirnoff be okay? A little discussion, and, I realized I was dealing with a server who had never heard of a martini made only with gin and dry vermouth–she thought they were always vodka-and-whatever (as in cosmopolitans, appletinis, chocolatinis, and other abberations). Once we got that cleared up, and I told her what to have the barman do, he made and she served a pretty good martini.
Heh, I worked at a Chi-Chi’s in college, in Raleigh, NC. Most people ordered beer or margaritas, very few alcoholic drinks. Some guy ordered a Dewar’s, I had never heard of it, he had to say it for me like 2-3 times (mortifying!) and I think I finally wrote something like do-ers on the ticket. Bartender laughed at me. Looking at the huge racks of bottles behind most bars, I can’t imagine knowing everything about each kind of booze!
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### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/177 "2009-11-06T09:18:20Z")
> [@gigi](#):
>
> \<\< 23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc. \>\>
>
> Holy crap, really? I guess I can see this as an above-and-beyond thing, but as a habitual thing to be expected when someone says they liked the wine??
Well, in all fairness I have seen a really nifty, wine label, steam peeler designed specifically for the job, back in the day. The new removal technique, or the modern technology in the wine label removal kit is this [laminate tape system](http://www.winevine-imports.com/Wine-Label-Removers-BUY-2-GET-1-FREE-pr-248.html?gclid=CNv5ocqC9p0CFcZM5QodoUaupw).
I can see this as a signature service, and not something that automatically takes time away from my table. Standards are good, I just don’t like the wethering of the flock. It’s all relative.
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### Author:  [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/178 "2009-11-06T09:23:57Z")
> [@sugar\_and\_spice](#):
>
> IME this is something of a European vs. American\*\* etiquette difference, the European etiquette is that it’s rude to bring the check before the customer asks for it, it’s akin to rushing them out the door. Especially if they are still having their drink.
When I think of it, so it is. A cousin of mine and a friend of his had once finished their meal and were sitting talking when the waiter suddenly handed them the bill. Their reaction was “This is the first time ever that we’ve be thrown out of a restaurant without having behaved like arseholes first”. The waiter immediately took back the bill and apoligised, very embarrassed.
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### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/179 "2009-11-06T10:18:15Z")
[QUOTE=MisterRik]
_72._ Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared\*."
Again, nothing wrong with the rule. Given the high-level type of restaurant he’s opening, I would guess that all of his salads are going to be prepared fresh to order. But “it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared” again brings other restaurants into the equation. A better choice of words would be, “the guest may get the impression that the salad was not freshly prepared.”
[/QUOTE]
I, actually presented chilled salad forks, as a flair and special care unto tables where I worked. Folded neatly in a white linen napkin, origami pocket… Lukewarm fresh salads served upon a chilled plate, with chilled dinner service. It had a certain temperate panache. It was actually a selling point because I guarantee nobody was ever offered a chilled salad fork with a slight bow until that point in their lives.
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### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [November 6, 2009, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/100-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do/516091/180 "2009-11-06T13:19:01Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#):
>
> Modern corporate structures (in retail) are basically set up so there’s no way for front-line staff to “make things right” without risking their jobs- which they’re unlikely to do, for obvious reasons.
I understand that sometimes you can’t make the customer happy, based on company policy. But at that point you have to make a decision: Do I represent the company as an employee, or do I represent me? Am I going to explain to the customer why my company won’t replace his phone, or am I just going to say how it’s not my fault? In such a situation the best approach is to say, “I’m sorry, that’s company company. Would you like to speak to my manager?”
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