# 12 reasons Why I Definitely f#cking Hate Church **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 19, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074 "2015-04-19T23:21:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Contemplation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Contemplation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contemplation)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/1 "2015-04-19T23:21:08Z")
1. Wasting hours of my mortal life every sunday morning. 2. Getting less sleep when I could have slept in. **3.** Growing up as a kid I use to sit in the middle between my mom and my older brother. Every sunday, It was my duty to keep them awake during the long boring sermons. I would constantly tap their shoulders to wake them up, and my brother would get really annoyed for me waking him up and he often claimed he was “praying” even though I could hear him snoring. My mom often told me to tap my brother’s shoulder to wake him up. Once she even scolded me for not waking her up in church. Ever single damn sunday I was the waker upper. 1. The people are not actually friendly, they just wan’t to hold you up and waste your time after church. Rarely even greeted before the service starts. 2. No where in the New Testament does it say one MUST go to church every sunday. 3. Growing up, I was often the only one ready on time before church started. Since I was a kid, I couldn’t drive my self, so I was late along with my mother and brother. Late every damn sunday. 4. Had no choice to refuse going to church. 5. Every summer I come home from college to live with parents for obvious financial reasons, and when i come home. I’m required to go to church every sunday with them. 6. Its always hot and stuffy in church. 7. The holy spirit makes me light headed and dizzy. I often have to grab the pew and hold my self up so I wont blackout as my vision fades to yellow. 8. Extremely boring. 9. Even more boring. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/2 "2015-04-19T23:27:01Z")
Shrug. Don’t go. If your parents are supporting you and \*forcing \*you to go, convince them it’s stupid. You’ve got a good list. Add 13, “there is no god, so why bother?” ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/3 "2015-04-19T23:44:27Z")
If church is so boring that everyone is sleeping through it, why does the rest of your family feel compelled to go? Sounds like all of you could benefit from less church and more sleep. Or a different church that is more interesting/has a better HVAC system. Or something. Try Catholicism. The sermons are shorter and you do a lot of standing up and sitting down throughout the service that helps you stay awake. ---
**Author:** ![Contemplation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Contemplation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contemplation)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/4 "2015-04-20T00:11:01Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > If church is so boring that everyone is sleeping through it, why does the rest of your family feel compelled to go? Sounds like all of you could benefit from less church and more sleep. Or a different church that is more interesting/has a better HVAC system. Or something. > > Try Catholicism. The sermons are shorter and you do a lot of standing up and sitting down throughout the service that helps you stay awake. I don’t have any problem staying awake. I’m the one that wakes up others, besides, " catholics are rapists and we will not support their behaviour" ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/5 "2015-04-20T00:17:03Z")
Would you be able to get a weekend job that requires you to work on Sunday mornings? It may also result in less sleep than you’d like, but it could give you a reason not to go to church. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/6 "2015-04-20T00:38:43Z")
> [@Contemplation](#): > > I don’t have any problem staying awake. I’m the one that wakes up others, besides, " catholics are rapists and we will not support their behaviour" …how have I missed that part of the Mass for 40 straight years? ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/7 "2015-04-20T00:41:58Z")
I haven’t been to church since I was 10. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/8 "2015-04-20T01:16:32Z")
If you’re old enough to be posting here you’re old enough to quit going. So quit already. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/9 "2015-04-20T01:36:02Z")
Or, unless it would cause more family headaches, consider shopping for another denomination. Find a church that doesn’t fit that list for you. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/10 "2015-04-20T01:48:16Z")
> [@Contemplation](#): > > I don’t have any problem staying awake. I’m the one that wakes up others, besides, " catholics are rapists and we will not support their behaviour" I think you mean “papist”. I grew up as a Catholic, and while I was a practicing Catholic, I never raped anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Contemplation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Contemplation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contemplation)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/11 "2015-04-20T04:24:16Z")
i was being sarcastic about the catholic stereotype my family believes in. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/12 "2015-04-20T05:25:07Z")
What kind of church does your family drag you to? Is it a fundamentalist church that preaches hell fire and brimstone? Does the pastor rant at length about the evil secular life and the War on Christians and gay marriage leading this nation to the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah? Does he insist that the Earth was created in 6 days about 6000 years ago, and everyone who believes in that Communistic stuff like Evolution will be damned to eternal hell? Does he juggle with snakes? ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/13 "2015-04-20T05:37:11Z")
My wife and I joined an Episcopal Church when we got married and went to the Sunday morning service, and it was like death. Not only was it an AM service, the sermon usually sucked, and lets just say Anglican hymns dont quite have the same “energy” as lets say a Black Baptist church. Then we found out there was a Saturday 5pm service: no hymns, it was only one hour, a handful of attendees and the Canon really did a good job with her sermons. I regret for whatever reason we just stopped going about 10 years ago but it is on my “guilt list” to start trying to attend again. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/14 "2015-04-20T05:50:45Z")
Put some random gifs with that first post and it could totally be a Buzzfeed article. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/15 "2015-04-20T10:27:52Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Shrug. Don’t go. If your parents are supporting you and \*forcing \*you to go, convince them it’s stupid. You’ve got a good list. Add 13, “there is no god, so why bother?” Well, as for the latter, I wouldn’t go quite that far. It’s possible that our OP feels that there is a God, just not one that takes attendance at church every Sunday. I agree with other posters: just don’t go. As a child, I hated going to church every Sunday–I couldn’t sleep in, I was forced into “Sunday best” clothes early on Sundays (“You can’t go out and play; you’ll get your good clothes dirty!”), and it was boring and no fun. It’s no wonder I haven’t regularly attended in years, don’t belong to any specific church, and don’t attend church to this day. (I make exceptions when local churches ask me to perform music at Sunday services for them–for me, playing and performing music is fun; and if a church wants me to do it–it’s \*still \*fun.) Really, just don’t go. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/16 "2015-04-20T11:18:52Z")
Go forth and rant my son. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/17 "2015-04-20T11:30:40Z")
Welcome to the new and exciting Reader’s Digest Pit? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/18 "2015-04-20T11:34:07Z")
> [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](#): > > …how have I missed that part of the Mass for 40 straight years? you should feel left out. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/19 "2015-04-20T12:03:52Z")
Maybe you are attending the wrong church? Perhaps your parents would respect you selecting a church of your own. One that is maybe more modern, less stuffy, and more aimed at your and your age. Not all churches are the same. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/20 "2015-04-20T12:46:00Z")
> [@Contemplation](#): > > I don’t have any problem staying awake. I’m the one that wakes up others, besides, " catholics are rapists and we will not support their behaviour" Is this a reference to the kiddy-twiddling scandals? :dubious: Or some auto-correct of “papist” as was suggested earlier? (… both?) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074.md?page=2)