# 12 reasons Why I Definitely f#cking Hate Church **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 19, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074 "2015-04-19T23:21:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/61 "2015-04-21T20:20:38Z")
> [@Contemplation](#): > > 1. No where in the New Testament does it say one MUST go to church every sunday. While it does not mention a particular day, it does say [this](http://www.biblestudytools.com/hebrews/10-25.html): > [@](#): > > Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another2–and all the more as you see the Day approaching. So your #5 may not hold up in a theological discussion. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/62 "2015-04-21T21:18:05Z")
The solution is simple. If you feel like you should go to church, but don’t like it, then find a church you like. There are lots. Personally, I like the Episcopal services - but even then, you have to find one that fits. Even within one denomination, there will be a lot of variety. (As far as people not being friendly… have you tried talking to any of them?) Or, if you don’t feel any compunction to go … don’t go. I’ve had many Sunday mornings when I’d have rather stayed in bed, but now when I miss church, I actually _miss_ church. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/63 "2015-04-21T21:44:49Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Yeah, how’d that work out for Jesus? As far as we know, Jesus never came. 😛 (I’d so go to hell if I weren’t Jewish/atheist.) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/64 "2015-04-21T22:19:05Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > I think you mean “papist”. > > I grew up as a Catholic, and while I was a practicing Catholic, I never raped anyone. Maybe you were doing it wrong? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/65 "2015-04-21T22:34:54Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > If church is so boring that everyone is sleeping through it, why does the rest of your family feel compelled to go? Sounds like all of you could benefit from less church and more sleep. Or a different church that is more interesting/has a better HVAC system. Or something. > > Try Catholicism. The sermons are shorter and you do a lot of standing up and sitting down throughout the service that helps you stay awake. Or Episcopalianism. We do that too. I know that feeling too. When I was a kid, we went to church too, and saw right through our parents’ reasons for doing it - impressing the neighbors, and going there to see and be seen. By the time we were tweens, we were old enough to articulate this, and we did stop going. And they never picked another church, either. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/66 "2015-04-21T22:42:42Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Read the Old Testament where all the fun and neat stuff happens. Like Ezekiel 23:20? NSFW. 😛 (Moderator: Do a spoiler box if you deem it necessary.) Yep. That’s in the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/67 "2015-04-21T22:48:37Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > As an Atheist its a strange situation having self professed Christian friends who don’t try to habitually save me. Either they don’t care I will burn in hell fire, or don’t really buy the schtick. There I no middle road. Not really. I’m the same way. I feel that if my non-Christian friends and acquaintances change their mind and become interested in Christianity, they know where to go to find out more. They don’t try to convert me to their beliefs, either, although I have had a rather militant atheist friend (she’s now in a nursing home) who spammed her Facebook feed with all kinds of “dickhead atheist” memes. Not a small number of people finally told her, “We get it. REALLY. WE.GET.IT”. As for Smartphones, etc. my pastor’s wife checks hers during the service, although IDK why and it’s NOMB. Several years ago, I went to another church, and the teenage girls all sat together and texted each other during the sermon. I thought, “Wow, how rude!” and then remembered how my friends and I did something similar at that age (they invited me to their church) - using pen and paper. By the time the service was over, there usually wasn’t a clean square centimeter on that bulletin. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/68 "2015-04-22T09:47:01Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > I grew up as a Catholic, and while I was a practicing Catholic, I never raped anyone. You probably needed to practice harder. I think there are different grades and when you get to the higher levels eg. Priest, Pope, Saint, etc…, then the perks start kicking in. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/69 "2015-04-22T11:18:25Z")
Levitate 10 feet above the pew, vomit pea soup and spin your head around 360 degrees. The church will dis-invite you from attending any more services. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/70 "2015-04-22T12:32:18Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > As far as we know, Jesus never came. 😛 > (I’d so go to hell if I weren’t Jewish/atheist.) Ah. See, one of the tales we tell about Jesus is that he went to temple when he was a kid and asked all manner of awkward questions. He continued the practice as he grew older and, as the tale goes, things went really, really badly for him. ---
**Author:** ![mike\_ahndembroak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mike\_ahndembroak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mike_ahndembroak)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/71 "2015-04-22T13:49:12Z")
Worst part about church; if you fart, they make you sit in your own pew. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/72 "2015-04-22T19:00:15Z")
I was raised catholic and went to mass every Sunday, Holy Day of Obligation, First Friday and a few others. I hated it from about age 15, maybe sooner. This was the deal right up until I went away to college. I can’t remember if the Sunday mass bit started again when I was home for the summers or not. I think not but that was a long time ago. If I did, it was only out of respect to my mother. Once I moved out for good I never voluntarily went to church again. Weddings and funerals are about it. My mother was pretty devout but also was smart enough to realize that religion is a personal choice and I never heard her criticize anyone for their beliefs or lack thereof. So, hang in there, move out or try to have a rational conversation with your mother about why you’d rather not go. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/73 "2015-04-22T19:43:18Z")
Interesting topic-I am RC, and I have noticed that many young people do not attend, once they move out from the parents. i wonder if this is because they find the service boring, or because they have essentially abandoned religion. The interesting thing is that some churches still offer the Latin Mass 9and these are usually packed). ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/74 "2015-04-22T20:38:20Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Interesting topic-I am RC, and I have noticed that many young people do not attend, once they move out from the parents. i wonder if this is because they find the service boring, or because they have essentially abandoned religion. The interesting thing is that some churches still offer the Latin Mass 9and these are usually packed). According to [this article](http://www.salon.com/2014/03/25/calling_the_christian_right_soon_you_will_be_outnumbered_partner/) one of the reasons for the decline in church attendance is the Christian Right making religion political and turning younger liberals away. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/75 "2015-04-23T01:47:31Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > As an Atheist its a strange situation having self professed Christian friends who don’t try to habitually save me. Either they don’t care I will burn in hell fire, or don’t really buy the schtick. There I no middle road. I have many openly Atheist friends who know that I am Christian. If they want to join me at church, they know that I would love it. The closest to outright proselytizing they get from me is that when I host dinners for holidays I do open with a prayer. They all knew in advance it was coming, in case they wanted to make themselves scarce. So my form of evangelism is NOT being an asshole about it, and instead openly showing that you can be Christian without being cruel about it. Its a soft sell. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/76 "2015-04-23T02:42:22Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What kind of church does your family drag you to? > > Is it a fundamentalist church that preaches hell fire and brimstone? Does the pastor rant at length about the evil secular life and the War on Christians and gay marriage leading this nation to the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah? Does he insist that the Earth was created in 6 days about 6000 years ago, and everyone who believes in that Communistic stuff like Evolution will be damned to eternal hell? Does he juggle with snakes? How do the snakes juggle without hands? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/77 "2015-04-23T13:51:36Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > How do the snakes juggle without hands? Don’t asp me. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/78 "2015-04-23T14:57:52Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > According to [this article](http://www.salon.com/2014/03/25/calling_the_christian_right_soon_you_will_be_outnumbered_partner/) one of the reasons for the decline in church attendance is the Christian Right making religion political and turning younger liberals away. That’s why mainline denominations (Presbyterian, Methodist, Episcopal) are growing. Well, not growing, exactly, but not shrinking. Well, yes, technically they are shrinking, but not as quickly as others. Well, not as quickly as some others but faster than some. What was the question again? ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/79 "2015-04-23T15:50:38Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > That’s why mainline denominations (Presbyterian, Methodist, Episcopal) are growing. Well, not growing, exactly, but not shrinking. Well, yes, technically they are shrinking, but not as quickly as others. Well, not as quickly as some others but faster than some. What was the question again? United Methodist is actually an odd one. It’s shrinking in the US but growing in Africa, Asia, Central and South America. There’s often talk of a split. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074/80 "2015-04-23T16:54:26Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > …I have had a rather militant atheist friend (she’s now in a nursing home) who spammed her Facebook feed with all kinds of “dickhead atheist” memes. Not a small number of people finally told her, “We get it. REALLY. WE.GET.IT”. How do you feel about people who spam Facebook feeds with religious messages? " ‘LIKE’ if JESUS is your LORD!'" “Share this, don’t deny JESUS IS LORD! Who is brave enough?” And so on, ad nauseam. I ignore them, as the religious people in my family generally ignore my atheist posts (although one family member did respond to my FB Ask An Atheist Day post with a good question!). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-reasons-why-i-definitely-f-cking-hate-church/718074.md?page=5)