# 12-year-old Florida girl commits suicide after a year of being bullied online **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693 "2013-09-12T20:25:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/41 "2013-09-13T15:46:37Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Why “lol?” I have to assume your confidence at the non-LOL-worthiness of your confidence rests in some nature of internet filter/blocking warez, and the certainty that circumventing said gizmo is beyond the kid’s capabilities? Otherwise: Dude… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/42 "2013-09-13T15:52:21Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > WHY did she keep looking at posts where people were saying things like this to her? Being stuck in a school or other environment is one thing, but if you’re online, all you have to do is NOT VISIT THAT WEBSITE. > [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Why did she keep reading all these hateful messages? Because she was 12 and children are bad at making those kinds of decisions. The decision-making parts of their brain aren’t fully developed and “what your peers are saying about you is not that important” is not a lesson every kid and teenager has internalized. (Adults struggle with it sometimes, too.) This isn’t the first time a child has committed suicide after being bullied online. That’s not to put aside all the questions about parenting and online supervision, but I find it hard to criticize the kids in situations like this. It doesn’t always occur to them that they can disengage from this kind of thing and that empty words from strangers (or even people they know) don’t mean that much. That’s something they need to be taught. I can’t help thinking a lot of parents still don’t know what to do about social media. Maybe in time that’ll change. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/43 "2013-09-13T15:52:29Z")
If you aren’t smart enough to figure out how to use the Ignore function, you aren’t smart enough to be on the Internet. At least no one Pitted this girl for committing suicide. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/44 "2013-09-13T16:24:35Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > One of my classmates tried to get me to kill myself, and he got his a few years after we graduated when his father committed suicide. I’ve always felt it was karma. Do you really believe in that kind of “karma,” that a man would take his own life because his son was a jerk? And you’re glad it works that way? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/45 "2013-09-13T16:37:50Z")
I have an almost fourteen year old daughter. About three years ago - they were sixth graders - so about this time - one of her friend’s had her world blow up. See, you take someone else’s cell phone- maybe over lunch or while they are in gym. Or you just ask to borrow it when they are distracted and erase the message once its sent. And then you text messages to your mutual “friends” from your “friend” saying horrible things. Then you gossip about how mean your friend was to your other friend. When you get half the girls in a group of a dozen girls all playing this really fun “game” no one can tell who they can and can’t trust. A few of them start getting together, in some twelve year old version of Lord of the Flies, to take down the weakest and see if they can break them. And suddenly I have two girls in a girl scout troop who won’t be in the same room with each other because both thinks the other has been horrible (and its possible one or the other was, but from what I can tell now years after the fact, now that we are confessing to all the fun we had back in fifth grade - no, neither of “my” girls were instigators. It helps too if you set up facebook accounts with your “friends” names and pictures. So it isn’t as easy as setting the mean people on ignore - because you can’t tell who is actually being mean. My daughter seems fairly safe from the shennanigans - she doesn’t really “bother” with facebook, she only friends the people she really likes, and she has no tolerance for people being mean to her - offend her and she drops you (far too fast, honestly) - she is skeptical and suspicious, and doesn’t seem to give a flying fart if other middle school girls like her. But her friend has all the attributes that make this sort of bullying easy - the desire to be liked, the desire to make peace between other people, a low self esteem, a trusting nature. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/46 "2013-09-13T16:53:59Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > It IS possible that her school and parents were like mine, and she knew that nothing was going to be done about it. > > :mad: [Looks that way.](http://lakeland.wtsp.com/news/news/494702-bullying-problem-sedwicks-old-school) > [@](#): > > “I told them that Becca is being threatened, that these girls are gonna jump her,” recalls Tricia Norman. Norman says she was told the bullies would be talked to, but her daughter “still got jumped.” > > Students and parents say bullying is a problem at the Crystal Lake Middle. > > Alexander Howard Koreck says he’s been bullied. “They yell, kick hit, say you are nothing, look at you like you are nothing.” > > Former student Lindsay Nivens says reporting the bullying is a problem too. > > “When you do tell staff, you get picked on more by kids for snitching them out,” she says. > > Do the staff respond to the increased bullying? > > “No,” replies Lindsay. “They blow it off.” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/47 "2013-09-13T17:30:22Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > One of my classmates tried to get me to kill myself, and he got his a few years after we graduated when his father committed suicide. Fuck yeah!! Serves that little kid right! How’d he like _them_ apples, eh?? My god. Are you human? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/48 "2013-09-13T17:52:30Z")
You know what? I can perfectly see the _Schadenfreude_ here. The father and his other loved ones would have my sympathy, but the bully? Fuck the little shit. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/49 "2013-09-13T17:52:49Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Why didn’t anyone turn off the internet? Why is a 12 year old using social media with no supervision? Same reason all other 12-year-olds use social media without constant supervision, I assume. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/50 "2013-09-13T18:07:08Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > You know what? I can perfectly see the _Schadenfreude_ here. The father and his other loved ones would have my sympathy, but the bully? Fuck the little shit. That’s exactly where I was coming from. I knew his dad, and whatever made the dad do this, he didn’t deserve it. The son, BTW, was one of those people that most of the other kids didn’t like but they hung around with him for reasons I never quite figured out, and parents disapproved of their kids being around him too. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/51 "2013-09-13T19:02:34Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > I have to assume your confidence at the non-LOL-worthiness of your confidence rests in some nature of internet filter/blocking warez, and the certainty that circumventing said gizmo is beyond the kid’s capabilities? > > Otherwise: Dude… If **Bricker** controls the house’s router, he can guarantee that his kid’s not seeing any inappropriate content on a computer connecting to the internet via that router. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/52 "2013-09-13T19:33:53Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > If **Bricker** controls the house’s router, he can guarantee that his kid’s not seeing any inappropriate content on a computer connecting to the internet via that router. \*\*Bricker’s \*\*kid maybe more tech savvy than he is. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/53 "2013-09-13T19:46:00Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > He is expressing disbelief of both the idea that you know of everything your child does on his computer, and/or that your child has never tried or succeeded to find inappropriate material on the internet. > > Edit: Not that either are impossible, they just require a lot more effort than what is normal. > [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > I have to assume your confidence at the non-LOL-worthiness of your confidence rests in some nature of internet filter/blocking warez, and the certainty that circumventing said gizmo is beyond the kid’s capabilities? > > Otherwise: Dude… > [@MegaBee](#): > > If **Bricker** controls the house’s router, he can guarantee that his kid’s not seeing any inappropriate content on a computer connecting to the internet via that router. > [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > \*\*Bricker’s \*\*kid maybe more tech savvy than he is. I would defy even the most tech-savvy person here being able to describe a way to circumvent the configuration I have installed. [Reposted from here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15930998&postcount=4) I set up a scheme for my son’s access when he was six or seven, to facilitate Webkinz and [pbskids.org](http://pbskids.org). I ran a dual-homed Linux host with Privoxy as a proxy server. Privoxy allows you to whitelist sites, and allows you to mark sites as allowed referrers. So I could, for example, allow him to see [cartoonnetwork.com](http://cartoonnetwork.com) and any site that was linked from [cartoonnetwork.com](http://cartoonnetwork.com) – but not any site that linked from such a site, unless I manually validated it. His system was wired into the Ethernet so that it could only physically reach that second port on the Privoxy server. My system allowed him to have “unsupervised” Internet access in the sense that I didn’t need to be physically present, but since he couldn’t see any site unless I pre-approved it or it was a direct-link from a trusted site, there was no problem. When he got a wi-fi device, I added a WAP that was resident on that same tightly controlled VLAN. And the setup means that not only can I capture and control the destination for http / https traffic, but I can also route traffic, which means he’s not able to make ANY outbound IP connections unless they are whitelisted. And the Linux host doesn’t even accept ssh traffic on that interface. Tell me where that’s vulnerable. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/54 "2013-09-13T19:47:14Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > If **Bricker** controls the house’s router, he can guarantee that his kid’s not seeing any inappropriate content on a computer connecting to the internet via that router. That assumes that your neighbors don’t have open wi-fi - or that your kid doesn’t know the neighbor’s wi-fi password (which kids have been known to share - “oh, your dad locks you out from those site, use our wifi”) I have a kid who has lost the internet a few times over the past year, and I’ve learned a lot of tricks they have to stay in contact with their friends (which, of course, results in more lost internet and electronics). Assuming your kid can’t get to inappropriate content on the internet in 2013 is a little like assuming that kids never had access to porn in the 20th century. My parents never had it in their house, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t seen a Playboy or two (or a few more) when I was a tween. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/55 "2013-09-13T19:48:17Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I would defy even the most tech-savvy person here being able to describe a way to circumvent the configuration I have installed. > > [Reposted from here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15930998&postcount=4) > > I set up a scheme for my son’s access when he was six or seven, to facilitate Webkinz and [pbskids.org](http://pbskids.org). > > I ran a dual-homed Linux host with Privoxy as a proxy server. Privoxy allows you to whitelist sites, and allows you to mark sites as allowed referrers. So I could, for example, allow him to see [cartoonnetwork.com](http://cartoonnetwork.com) and any site that was linked from [cartoonnetwork.com](http://cartoonnetwork.com) – but not any site that linked from such a site, unless I manually validated it. > > His system was wired into the Ethernet so that it could only physically reach that second port on the Privoxy server. > > My system allowed him to have “unsupervised” Internet access in the sense that I didn’t need to be physically present, but since he couldn’t see any site unless I pre-approved it or it was a direct-link from a trusted site, there was no problem. > > When he got a wi-fi device, I added a WAP that was resident on that same tightly controlled VLAN. > > And the setup means that not only can I capture and control the destination for http / https traffic, but I can also route traffic, which means he’s not able to make ANY outbound IP connections unless they are whitelisted. > > And the Linux host doesn’t even accept ssh traffic on that interface. > > Tell me where that’s vulnerable. When he or she is at a friends and uses their computer. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/56 "2013-09-13T19:50:32Z")
> [@](#): > > “I told them that Becca is being threatened, that these girls are gonna jump her,” recalls Tricia Norman. Norman says she was told the bullies would be talked to, but her daughter “still got jumped.” > > Students and parents say bullying is a problem at the Crystal Lake Middle. Not to take anything away from the tragedy of this situation, but it’s a little bit chilling to be reading about about a dead child and an angry mother at Crystal Lake – on [Friday the 13th](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th_(1980_film)). ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/57 "2013-09-13T20:11:51Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > That assumes that your neighbors don’t have open wi-fi - or that your kid doesn’t know the neighbor’s wi-fi password (which kids have been known to share - “oh, your dad locks you out from those site, use our wifi”) A safe assumption as to the lack of open Wifi. I routinely use SSIDer to scan the local environment. Of course, he could have learned how to hack WEP, as some of my neighbors’ connections are WEP-protected instead of WPA, but doing that would leave traces in his registry and I’d see it. Ditto for the neighbor’s wifi password on the computer. And adding a new Wi-Fi to his handheld would similarly leave a trace. In my opinion, when he’s old enough and skilled enough to breach those measures, he’s old enough to look at porn. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/58 "2013-09-13T20:22:53Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > When he or she is at a friends and uses their computer. True. The context of my comment was, though, in answer to the concern about having a computer in the child’s bedroom: > [@lavenderviolet](#): > > I think the key here is: DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS GO ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT SUPERVISION. 12 year olds should not have a phone with internet access enabled and they should not have a computer in their bedroom, in my opinion. > [@Bricker](#): > > My 11-year-old has a computer in his bedroom with Internet access. But I am absolutely confident he’s not seeing any inappropriate content. So when I said, “But I am absolutely confident he’s not seeing any inappropriate content,” it should be read in context with the immediately preceding sentence, “My 11-year-old has a computer in his bedroom with Internet access,” as it was offered to reply to the suggestion that having a computer in a child’s room was unwise. Sure, another kid could bring a portable DVD player and his dad’s copy of “Naughty Stewardesses From Planet Nipple,” to school and all my technology precautions would be for naught. I’m just saying that with respect to the home IT setup, I believe it’s solid. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/59 "2013-09-13T20:28:06Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > \ > > Lest anyone think I’m blaming the victim, when I was her age, I had to put up with things like a girl who wanted her brothers to gang-rape me so I would get pregnant and have to leave school, and the attitude of my parents and other people in authority was “Why do you let them do this to you?” and “They probably did this to you because of something you did to them to embarrass us.” > \ Um. You _do_ realize that’s victim-blaming, right? I’m sorry your parents treated you that way. It must have been terrifying to worry about whether these brothers were going to make good on the threat. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693/60 "2013-09-13T21:05:38Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Um. You _do_ realize that’s victim-blaming, right? > > I’m sorry your parents treated you that way. It must have been terrifying to worry about whether these brothers were going to make good on the threat. ☹ The boys never threatened me. It was their sister who did. Last I heard, she was working in the claims denial department of a health insurance company. :eek: Now, I understand why such a department exists (fraud, duplicate claims, things like that) but she’s probably the kind of person who gets her kicks doing this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/12-year-old-florida-girl-commits-suicide-after-a-year-of-being-bullied-online/668693.md?page=4)