# 13% of Americans do not believe in inter-racial marriage????

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [May 6, 2014, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807 "2014-05-06T14:20:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/61 "2014-05-07T19:54:34Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> =nevadaexile]  
> I think that the “real” number is likely higher than 13%, but even racists who were asked didn’t want to appear to be racist so they gave what they presumed is an acceptable answer.

Which is progress. At least they are ashamed of their racism.

Regards,  
Shodan

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**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/62 "2014-05-07T22:07:07Z")

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> [@Onomatopoeia](#):
>
> Although, and I may very well have missed it, there doesn’t seem to have been much hullabaloo about the Swiffer commercial. Progress?

In just a few weeks?  
Or was Cheerios advertising on Duck Dynasty while Swiffer was advertising on Modern Family? I suspect that who sees a commercial affects the response to it. 😉

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/63 "2014-05-08T00:10:13Z")

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People worried about my relationship or potential children (which I won’t be having) are just concern trolling, IME. You overcome intolerance by doing the thing you want to do and by being in public, not by hiding or being ashamed.

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**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/64 "2014-05-08T00:31:37Z")

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> [@tonyfop](#):
>
> Its getting a whole lot better. Lots of older Italians on my side of the family have met my wife (who is black), and don’t have a problem. My parents at least try to have a normal conversation with her. I haven’t been dis-inheritted by anyone, and no one has banned me from their home. Everything is fine with her side of the family. In fact, her late grandmother loved me.
> 
> The stares kind of get to me. Living in rural Southern Maryland, we get lots of stares, mostly from the geriatric set, but sometimes from younger folk. Last week we had dinner in a locally owned steakhouse/bar, and there were 2 older couples there that seemed to be trying to burn us with their heat vision.
> 
> Of course, this is mild compared to what the pioneers, such as the Lovings, went through. In 15 years of marriage, we have never run into any kind of overt or violent racism, just a kind of uncomfortable feeling from people who are not used to talking to members of other races.
> 
> P.S., I also wanted to point out that while the military is somewhat conservative overall, on the subject of inter-racial marriage it has been the most accepting community I have ever dealt with. In the last shop I worked in, out of 15 people who worked there, there were 5 mixed couples. In fact we used to hang out almost exclusively with 3 other mixed families. Have not found a community like that since I retired.

I find a lot of older people have idiosyncratic ways of dealing with interracial relationships in general (not just romantic) now. My grandpa is definitely racist – he’s said things to the effect of “the coons are ruining the local mall”. However, every single black person (or hispanic person etc etc) he knows or has worked with personally just so happens to be an exception and is an admirable, great, intelligent, and all-around hard working individual. This also holds for, e.g., Tiger Woods who my grandpa admires because he’s into golf. Of course Tiger Woods isn’t like the rest of them! :rolleyes: I can see plenty of families dealing with this sort of stuff with a semi-nonsensical exception of “well, I **generally** don’t accept interracial marriage, but in this case they seem like a great person so I’m happy for my kid!” Not seeing that it’s not really some one in a billion exception (other than the fact that finding a suitable marriageable partner in general is already a one in a billion exception of course).

Not saying that’s happening with **your** family, but I don’t think it’s all that uncommon.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/65 "2014-05-08T00:34:33Z")

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> [@Jragon](#):
>
> Not saying that’s happening with **your** family, but I don’t think it’s all that uncommon.

That’s how my mother deals with pretty much anything relating to gay people. She’s against it, but will make exceptions for anyone she knows. You’d think a bit of extrapolation would be in order but no.

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**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/66 "2014-05-08T06:45:08Z")

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> [@nevadaexile](#):
>
> Yeah.  
> Got that.  
> I can read.
> 
> However, who really gives a rat’s a\*s about what people OUTside of your marriage think about your marriage? When people complain about what they think that others are saying they really mean that they are having problems that they can’t deal and they are externalizing their BS.

A failure in _reading_ is not your problem.

(From **Urbanredneck** , describing an actual person who is not you, with actual challenges that you may not be personally acquainted with: )

> [@](#):
>
> . . . every damn time she steps out the door with her kids or husband . . .  
> . . . whites who call her a traitor . . .  
> . . . black women who hate her for “stealing” their men . . .  
> . . . son was once attacked by the black kids at school for being biracial . . .

Try to _imagine_ living under those circumstances. Would you, in all honesty, not give a rat’s ass about _any_ of that?

Heck, I’ve never had to put up with that sort of crap, but the cultural differences in my marriage have caused plenty of stress on my family. It shouldn’t have to be so, but it is.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/67 "2014-05-08T08:18:39Z")

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I was surprised that the percentage mentioned in the OP was so low. Maybe that bias is no longer in vogue or other types have taken its place.

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**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/68 "2014-05-08T09:50:22Z")

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Ughh well as a part of an interracial relationship and soon to be a parent (YEAA!!) of an interracial kid… Their are people giving you grief for the clothes you wear or the weight you are… Counseling someone to reconsider their relationship based on this really demonstates a lack of character of the person “counseling”… exception made for older people… but really… Its not like a purple giraffe people… Whatever variation of an interracial or intercultural relationship is not the first… nor the second… concur with John… all the worry over the children… my ass… Maybe I should’ve counseled Micheal Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones that Douglas is too damn old and can’t play catch with his kid…

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**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/69 "2014-05-08T11:08:23Z")

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> [@Chicagojeff](#):
>
> Maybe I should’ve counseled Micheal Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones that Douglas is **too damn old and can’t play catch with his kid.**

I wonder if that’s a recent, perhaps American, thing? I hear it all the time, but no adults played with any kids when we were growing up. Now, it’s an oft-cited tragedy.

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/70 "2014-05-08T11:16:50Z")

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A percentage of Americans will tell a pollster they do not believe we’ve been to the moon.

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**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/71 "2014-05-08T12:38:57Z")

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> [@Onomatopoeia](#):
>
> As offspring of a white dad and a black mom, my siblings and I spent three depressing years in the South in our teens, as our parents went through holy Hell attempting but failing to be accepted socially because of their “sin”.
> 
> I’d be interested in seeing the results of the poll broken down by state. I would not be surprised at all if the numbers were more like 50/50 in places like Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, and West Virginia.

I would also like to see the numbers from each state.  
Here in Alabama, interracial marriage was technically still illegal until 2000. The vote was 60%-40% to end the “ban.”

> **[Mixing it up](https://www.salon.com/2001/03/08/sollors/)**
>
> Alabama just legalized black-white marriage. An expert talks about why it took so long and the American obsession with racial purity.

> **[Alabama Interracial Marriage, Amendment 2 (2000)](https://ballotpedia.org/Alabama_Interracial_Marriage,_Amendment_2_(2000))**
>
> Ballotpedia: The Encyclopedia of American Politics

From a 2012 poll of Republican voters in Mississippi and Alabama:

> [@](#):
>
> -Alabama’s pretty much on board with interracial marriage, with 67% of voters thinking it should be legal to 21% who think it should not be. There’s still some skepticism in Mississippi though- only 54% of voters think it should be legal, while 29% believe it should be illegal.

[http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2012/03/other-notes-from-alabama-and-mississippi.html](http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2012/03/other-notes-from-alabama-and-mississippi.html)

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/72 "2014-05-08T16:50:40Z")

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> [@Not\_Carlson](#):
>
> Try to _imagine_ living under those circumstances. Would you, in all honesty, not give a rat’s ass about _any_ of that?
> 
> Heck, I’ve never had to put up with that sort of crap, but the cultural differences in my marriage have caused plenty of stress on my family. It shouldn’t have to be so, but it is.

I’m in an interracial marriage and, well, the reported life seems a bit overstated for most of the interracial relationships I’ve ever talked to people about.

And to counsel people not to get into an interracial marriage because of it feels very off to me.

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**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/73 "2014-05-08T16:51:26Z")

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Double post

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**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/74 "2014-05-08T16:54:26Z")

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I’ve heard the root of the opposition to biracial marriage are biracial kids.

In places with strong bigotry against blacks, a bigot will draw his assumption on a guy that looks black. But what if a person looked 50/50? How would you know how to treat them? What is “white enough” to pass for white? It brings up awkward and complex situations bigots don’t want to get drawn into. Their way of thinking is based on putting things in very narrow categories. Biracial people throw that out the window.

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**Author:** ![OurLordPeace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e8c25b/32.png) [@OurLordPeace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OurLordPeace)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/75 "2014-05-08T18:01:14Z")

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> [@RickJay](#):
>
> I doubt there is a country on earth where the results would be any better.

Canada?

Ayatollah Khamenei is half-Azeri and half-Persian, so I wonder how common/accepted that sort of thing is in Iran?

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/76 "2014-05-08T18:09:42Z")

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As of 2010 Canada was doing [slightly (1%) worse](http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2010/03/15/13240306-qmi.html).

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**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/77 "2014-05-08T20:08:42Z")

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> [@Incubus](#):
>
> I’ve heard the root of the opposition to biracial marriage are biracial kids.
> 
> In places with strong bigotry against blacks, a bigot will draw his assumption on a guy that looks black. But what if a person looked 50/50? How would you know how to treat them? What is “white enough” to pass for white? It brings up awkward and complex situations bigots don’t want to get drawn into. Their way of thinking is based on putting things in very narrow categories. Biracial people throw that out the window.

That is not really true. I am biracial, but white people who are inclined to express bigotry against black people consider me black regardless of the fairness of my skin, the texture of my hair, or my features. Trust me, my seeming racial ambiguity has certainly never been too awkward or complex for them to categorize me. On the contrary, it is easier for them.

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**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/78 "2014-05-08T20:52:36Z")

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> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> to counsel people not to get into an interracial marriage because of it feels very off to me.

i’ve never seen someone in such a relationship counsel against it, but I’ve seen many try to warn people what they’ll be up against. As one friend put it, being in an interracial relationship is the racism/bigotry acid test, and you’ll quickly discover that not just the world at large, but many people close to you aren’t as accepting as you thought. It can be an unpleasant surprise for the non-minority member.

> [@Incubus](#):
>
> I’ve heard the root of the opposition to biracial marriage are biracial kids.
> 
> In places with strong bigotry against blacks, a bigot will draw his assumption on a guy that looks black. But what if a person looked 50/50? How would you know how to treat them? What is “white enough” to pass for white?

Pretty much the “one drop” rule still applies - the only ‘white enough’ for racists is 100%.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/79 "2014-05-08T20:56:59Z")

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> [@epbrown01](#):
>
> i’ve never seen someone in such a relationship counsel against it, but I’ve seen many try to warn people what they’ll be up against. As one friend put it, being in an interracial relationship is the racism/bigotry acid test, and you’ll quickly discover that not just the world at large, but many people close to you aren’t as accepting as you thought. It can be an unpleasant surprise for the non-minority member.

True, but so can anything be where you are stepping outside of the norm. Many people on this board have had the experience of telling their friends/family that they are atheist, or gay, or have no interest in having children, or are liberals or conservatives when everyone else is something else, or are getting a divorce, adopting a baby from China, ad infinitum.

Yes, having people you know turn out to be bigots is no fun, but they will be bigots whether you know about it or not.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13-of-americans-do-not-believe-in-inter-racial-marriage/687807/80 "2014-05-08T21:22:44Z")

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> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> Yes, having people you know turn out to be bigots is no fun, but they will be bigots whether you know about it or not.

Sure, but you get the option of not dealing with it in the other scenarios. While I’ve taken the heat for 40+ years for being the family atheist, my brother just keeps his mouth shut. And, Christians being so loving and all, i get the oftten-expressed hope that some dire tragedy in my life will send me running back to church - bad crash on my motorcycle, cancer, something…

And there are the experiences the kids will face to think about. A friend of mine vividly remembers a Thanksgiving at the grandparents when he was 10 when a cousin at the kids table asked “So, Matt, are _you_ a nigger?” Finding out Uncle Carl was a bigot could have waited a few more years, I think. The adults at least get the option of going in with their eyes open - the kids have theirs forced open.

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