# 13yr.-old OCD? \[Amount of time spent on hair\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528 "2011-02-07T16:42:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/1 "2011-02-07T16:42:26Z")
What’s a “normal” amount of time for a 13yo girl to spend working on hair and makeup? I realize this is going to be somewhat variable, but I have a 13yo middle-schooler who seems to spend an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror. We’re talking over an hour at a time, sometimes multiple times a day. She has dyed her blonde hair with streaks of purple. She uses so much makeup I cannot believe it. Sometimes she tries to sleep sitting up in bed so she doesn’t mess up her hair. Her mom doesn’t seem too concerned, but I’m worried. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/2 "2011-02-07T16:47:09Z")
I’ve known a number of adult women who view sleeping sitting up in bed or otherwise propped up as a perfectly normal way to preserve the hairdo. So in that sense the 13 year old’s behavior is “normal” if you view normal as a spectrum and her being on the far end of it. On the other hand, you don’t want personal grooming to eat up so much time it interferes with other activities. That, to me, is the real test: is this grooming activity interfering with other aspects of her life? If her school work is fine, she has other activities, she socializes with others, etc. then while she might be a little more intense in this area than most it’s likely a harmless difference. If she never interacts with others socially because she’s always fussing over her appearance then it’s a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/3 "2011-02-07T16:49:01Z")
Get her head shaved and put her in a uniform for school. ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/4 "2011-02-07T16:55:18Z")
I think nearly all fathers would describe the amount of makeup their daughters wear as too much; however, if there was one thing I could tell my 13 year old self, or anyone’s 13 year old self, it’s that all that makeup is probably making your skin worse. Stay away from the foundation, especially the cheap stuff! But 13 year old girls are fantastic at not listening to well-intentioned advice. Anyway, there’s not much factual information to provide here, but anecdotally from someone with three sisters and six nieces, this is not an unusual amount of time. As Broomstick says, if it is interfering with her life it’s a problem. If she thinks this time is necessary to correct something that’s “wrong” with her appearance than it’s kind of unhealthy but not unusual. Around that age I got hardcore into waterpolo so makeup application was nearly pointless and my routine has stayed fairly simple, but I know women in their twenties and thirties that certainly spend over an hour a day on hair and makeup. ---
**Author:** ![anson2995](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@anson2995](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anson2995)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/5 "2011-02-07T18:21:47Z")
I am the father of two teenage girls. None of what the OP describes is out of the ordinary in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/6 "2011-02-07T18:39:19Z")
> [@anson2995](#): > > I am the father of two teenage girls. None of what the OP describes is out of the ordinary in the least. Yaaaaay! My kids might still be normal!! 😃 (whatever _that_ means) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/7 "2011-02-07T18:56:43Z")
> [@Nadir](#): > > Yaaaaay! My kids might still be normal!! 😃 No, they’re not normal. They’re teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/8 "2011-02-07T19:05:33Z")
I think she’s fine, based on this alone. I’m 36, and I don’t wear makeup or “do” my hair everyday, so it takes me a good hour or a little more when I do - I just don’t have a lot of practice. Back when I was “doing it up” every day, I could get it all done in about 45 minutes if I needed a curling iron, 30 minutes if not. This stuff just takes time. At 13, she’s got two things slowing her down even more: one is that she’s still learning how these tools work, and two is that she’s probably experimenting with different “looks” and/or techniques. Some of what she tries will not work out like she hopes, and it will take even more time to correct it. It’s perfectly normal for girls this age to be self-critical about their appearance, as well. As long as she’s not avoiding social interactions or sobbing in front of the mirror on a regular basis, it’s just part of growing up. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/9 "2011-02-07T19:09:50Z")
This is what teen girls do, live in front of the mirror, any mirror. The fact that she has been allowed to dye her hair with purple streaks is over the top in my opinion. I think it may be an indication the boundaries over all are too broad for her age. ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/10 "2011-02-07T19:22:57Z")
> [@Al\_Bundy](#): > > This is what teen girls do, live in front of the mirror, any mirror. > The fact that she has been allowed to dye her hair with purple streaks is over the top in my opinion. I think it may be an indication the boundaries over all are too broad for her age. True, I heard purple streaks in the hair are the first step to heroin addiction. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/11 "2011-02-07T19:23:16Z")
Nah, I don’t think the hair color is a problem, either, unless she purposely snuck around and did it despite the wishes of her parents (in which case, it’s still “normal”, but another talk would need to be had). 12 and 13 is exactly when both boys and girls start experimenting with hair color now - the brighter, the better. At least, this holds true here in the Chicago schools and in the school in the south suburbs where my mother teaches sixth grade. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/12 "2011-02-07T20:05:57Z")
Also remember girls at that age do a lot of experimenting. They don’t know what really looks good or what kind of “look” they want to present to the world. Your kid may be spending an hour trying for a “look,” then another half hour deciding she doesn’t like it, half an hour more scrubbing it off, then retrying another look and the process starts over. Now may be a good time to take your daughter and get a professional make up done on her. That way she can learn the proper techniques. ---
**Author:** ![anson2995](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@anson2995](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anson2995)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/13 "2011-02-07T20:11:09Z")
> [@Nadir](#): > > Yaaaaay! My kids might still be normal!! 😃 > > (whatever _that_ means) :rolleyes: IMHO, teenage girls are exasperating in an endless variety of ways. Teenage boys are easy. ---
**Author:** ![anson2995](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@anson2995](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anson2995)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/14 "2011-02-07T20:23:10Z")
> [@Al\_Bundy](#): > > I think it may be an indication the boundaries over all are too broad for her age. Really? You either don’t have kids or are in the 99% percentile for strictness. There’s an important difference between setting boundaries and suffocating kids. I say this not to make a personal attack, but to comment on the general thrust of the OP’s question. It can be tough for parents of teenagers to know the difference between what’s normal (and safe) rebellious activity and what’s unusual, dangerous, and requires response. I think dying your hair at 13 is as about as innocuous as it gets, and I bet most dopers with teenage kids would agree. ---
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/15 "2011-02-07T20:26:20Z")
Well, she is doing good in school and seems to have plenty of friends, so I’m thinking she is probably good to go. IIRC, mom actually assisted in the dye project. Guess I’ll just go back to minding my own business… :o And thanks for the input - _much_ appreciated! ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/16 "2011-02-07T20:31:58Z")
She’s fine. If she’s 13, she’s probably just started wearing makeup and figuring out how to apply it. Hair can be a whole different ball game, too. For what it’s worth, I’m a grown woman who spent an hour last night playing with makeup in front of the mirror. It’s fun! You don’t even want to KNOW how much I lived in front of that mirror as a teenager and what horrible things I did to my face. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/17 "2011-02-07T20:48:29Z")
Since this is a matter of opinion, it’s better suited to IMHO than GQ. I have also edited the thread title to better indicate the subject. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/18 "2011-02-07T21:24:53Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Nah, I don’t think the hair color is a problem, either, unless she purposely snuck around and did it despite the wishes of her parents (in which case, it’s still “normal”, but another talk would need to be had). 12 and 13 is exactly when both boys and girls start experimenting with hair color now - the brighter, the better. At least, this holds true here in the Chicago schools and in the school in the south suburbs where my mother teaches sixth grade. Now? Please - my parents let my dye my hair magenta with white streaks 30 years ago (think Bride of Frankenstein, or Magenta from _Rocky Horror Picture Show)_ Not really that new. Well, OK, I don’t think we had any really great blue or purple dye back then but whatever. Mom’s theory was that kids are gonna rebel and if she let us do weird things with our hair and she acted “properly” outraged we wouldn’t go to more extremes looking for a reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/19 "2011-02-07T21:40:37Z")
I had a 13 year old daughter with OCD. That’s not OCD. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528/20 "2011-02-07T21:52:23Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Now? Please - my parents let my dye my hair magenta with white streaks 30 years ago (think Bride of Frankenstein, or Magenta from _Rocky Horror Picture Show)_ lol. Well, it wasn’t done amongst my peer group quite that young in the late 80’s/early 90’s, although there were a few tropical birds by high school age. Obviously, there are regional variations. > [@](#): > > Mom’s theory was that kids are gonna rebel and if she let us do weird things with our hair and she acted “properly” outraged we wouldn’t go to more extremes looking for a reaction. Smart mom, especially to realize that she needed to act outraged. My stop mother had a “well, it’s just hair” attitude, so when my brother grew his long, she ignored it. When he stopped brushing it, she ignored it. Finally, desperate for a good argument, he stopped bathing entirely, and then she was in for the real battle. “If I had just \*pretended \*to be annoyed with the long hair,” she said years later, “I could have saved us all the stink!” 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/13yr-old-ocd-amount-of-time-spent-on-hair/570528.md?page=2)