# 14 Things You Should Never Say to a Gay Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964 "2013-12-10T07:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/41 "2013-12-12T03:41:32Z")
#26: You mean to tell me that if \ walked up to you and said she wanted to fuck you, you would say no??? I call bullshit, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/42 "2013-12-12T03:56:48Z")
#27, now that you’re out of the closet can I store my winter jackets there? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/43 "2013-12-12T04:14:45Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > But then they’ll get mad if you ask them “which one of you is the girl?” The correct answer is, “Both of us.” ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/44 "2013-12-12T04:35:03Z")
#28: Do gay people make “your dad” jokes? ---
**Author:** ![Cerealbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Cerealbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerealbox)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/45 "2013-12-12T04:40:16Z")
#30 - is felching real? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/46 "2013-12-12T05:18:26Z")
#31- Do you like gladiator movies? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/47 "2013-12-12T05:23:40Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > No 14, do straight women really ask gay men if they want to see their vagina? obligatory view of how it would be perceived: [Family Guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c84zZ2ud4-w) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/48 "2013-12-12T05:34:07Z")
> [@Beelzebubba](#): > > What made you decide to go gay? “My old toaster broke.” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/49 "2013-12-12T15:03:43Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > A friend recently posted to Facebook a link to these kinds of so-called _microaggressions_ that minorities of all types are burdened by, apparently every single day of their lives. I replied that I prefer the term _rudeness_ because it’s more inclusive: you do not have to be a minority to be burdened by it, and sooner or later you, too, will transgress. Thank you. I saw the same article from a friend who always posts that sort of thing. I said "we white straight people can’t win - if we treat you like us, we are insensitive to your cultural differentiation, if we treat you like we think a member of your class wants to be treated, we are stereotyping. Give me a manual where I will never offend anyone - in the meantime, I come off as a cold, etiquette driven bitch in real life with people I don’t know really well. Because when I see a cute couple in any configuration (or for that matter, a threesome) “where did you meet?” seems like an innocuous question as does “where are you spending the holidays,” “where did you grow up” and “that is a pretty name” Now I discover that these are all microtransgressions and that I’m best off saying “what do you think of the weather”- although frankly, in Minnesota that is a loaded question, since someone from Somalia might think I’m pointing out their cultural- climate difference. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/50 "2013-12-12T16:16:15Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > “where did you meet?” seems like an innocuous question Where in this thread has anyone disagreed with that? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/51 "2013-12-12T16:27:42Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Where in this thread has anyone disagreed with that? The OP? I also agree with Dangerosa. I try very hard to be sensitive but it’s hard keeping up. Some people so want to be offended. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/52 "2013-12-12T16:58:55Z")
[QUOTE=Misnomer] Where in this thread has anyone disagreed with that? [/QUOTE] In the OP: > [@](#): > > #17: “So where to you guys meet each other?” As others have commented, not sure if it’s a typo: “So where did you guys meet each other?” sounds innocuous and non-sterotypical, the sort of question you could ask any new couple, just out of interest. But if the OP meant “So where do you guys meet each other?” I can see that it sounds more stereotypical. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/53 "2013-12-12T20:38:03Z")
#32 - So, how 'bout that Leviticus 18:22, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/54 "2013-12-12T21:04:18Z")
How much education is possible in a world where advice about approaching each other is begun with the words, “You mustn’t?” True, it takes some patience to let someone get to know you. They may not like the true you and your questions and thoughts. But maybe the solution to not being misunderstood for all of us is to speak our values and why with no intent of offense and let everybody sort it out. No one can go their whole life expecting others to adjust to them without massive disappointment. But answering questions about how some things make you feel makes it possible for people who want to like you to understand your needs and hopefully accommodate them. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/55 "2013-12-12T21:40:05Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > #26: You mean to tell me that if \ walked up to you and said she wanted to fuck you, you would say no??? I call bullshit, dude. The tone and implied sentiment is probably wrong there, but the core notion ? It’s something gay and straight people alike joke about or discuss all the time innit ? Well, not _all the time_ all the time obviously, but there are enough “Who would you go gay/straight for ?” threads on the forum that the question doesn’t seem particularly outlandish or annoying to me. I mean, I’m very definitely straight (and have had opportunities to verify that it wasn’t “by default”, which I don’t recall with much fondness), but I’ll tell you right now that if I ever met Viggo Mortensen and he looked anything like he did on screen playing Aragorn, I would probably want to suck his cock there and then. And there’s nothing wrong with that. BTW If any of you know the guy, he probably deserves fair warning. ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/56 "2013-12-12T22:05:18Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > The tone and implied sentiment is probably wrong there, but the core notion ? It’s something gay and straight people alike joke about or discuss all the time innit ? Well, not _all the time_ all the time obviously, but there are enough “Who would you go gay/straight for ?” threads on the forum that the question doesn’t seem particularly outlandish or annoying to me. > > I mean, I’m very definitely straight (and have had opportunities to verify that it wasn’t “by default”, which I don’t recall with much fondness), but I’ll tell you right now that if I ever met Viggo Mortensen and he looked anything like he did on screen playing Aragorn, I would probably want to suck his cock there and then. And there’s nothing wrong with that. > BTW If any of you know the guy, he probably deserves fair warning. I’m gay, but I do have a “Chicks I’d Switch For” list…if only for laughs…and I’ll even share my Top 5- **Allison Mack** (Chloe Sullivan on ‘Smallville’) \*\*Eliza Dushku \*\*(Faith from ‘Buffy’) \*\*Michaela Conlin \*\*(Angela Montenegro from ‘Bones’) **Sarah Rafferty** (Donna from SUITS) \*\*Jenny McCarthy \*\* ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/57 "2013-12-13T13:27:02Z")
> [@Beelzebubba](#): > > I’m gay, but I do have a “Chicks I’d Switch For” list…if only for laughs…and I’ll even share my Top 5- > > **Allison Mack** (Chloe Sullivan on ‘Smallville’) > \*\*Eliza Dushku \*\*(Faith from ‘Buffy’) > \*\*Michaela Conlin \*\*(Angela Montenegro from ‘Bones’) > **Sarah Rafferty** (Donna from SUITS) > \*\*Jenny McCarthy \*\* That’s hilarious, because Jenny McCarthy is on my “chicks who could conceivably turn me gay” list. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/58 "2013-12-13T14:52:10Z")
#33 …Use sex as a weapon & [tell them you aren’t going to take it anymore?](http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/politics/budget-boehner/index.html?hpt=hp_c2) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964/59 "2013-12-17T22:16:28Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I mean, I’m very definitely straight (and have had opportunities to verify that it wasn’t “by default”, which I don’t recall with much fondness), but I’ll tell you right now that if I ever met Viggo Mortensen and he looked anything like he did on screen playing Aragorn, I would probably want to suck his cock there and then. And there’s nothing wrong with that. > BTW If any of you know the guy, he probably deserves fair warning. You may have to fight me for that cock. And I’m saying this as a gay man who hasn’t sucked a cock in over 40 years. And there’s nothing wrong with that. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-gay-man/675964.md?page=2)