# 16 yr old daughter on drugs & shacked up with 24 yr old. WWYD **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960 "2011-07-14T02:08:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/21 "2011-07-14T15:48:15Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Where’s **Dio** when you need him? My god, I was reaching each post slowly in hopes that someone didn’t post this. Make no mistake, I have no desire to make this thread about him whatsoever, but this news story might as well be tailor-made. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/22 "2011-07-14T16:01:43Z")
IIRC he did do what he could within the law, even up to getting her put in for evaluation at the hospital for 72 hours (the max anyone can be held) she got out and went right back to this guy’s place and her father followed. When the child is 16 you can do only so much and then your hands are tied, as people have said she was of the age of consent, it’s not that easy to tie up a 16 y/o and keep themselves safe from themselves… And I’m speaking as a former 16 year old who had my own brushes with authority though nothing like this situation. The interesting part is she’s been clean since and she supports her father. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/23 "2011-07-14T17:25:19Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Where’s **Dio** when you need him? [QUOTE=elninost0rm] Make no mistake, I have no desire to make this thread about him whatsoever, but this news story might as well be tailor-made. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Zing] Now, everyone, enjoy this thread in sweet peace. Relish it and cherish it. It should chug along nicely [/QUOTE] God help us, we can’t help it. We miss you Dio! Come home soon. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/24 "2011-07-14T17:29:59Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > The interesting part is she’s been clean since and she supports her father. Of course, it shields her from responsibility if she can blame the evil older boyfriend rather than her own bad decisions. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/25 "2011-07-14T18:23:56Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > That said, he deliberately and intentionally killed someone and it was not in self defense or defense of another’s life or limb. One might argue that he was defending his daughters life. Perhaps he knew she would stay with the guy no matter what if he remained alive. I’m not saying one would necessarily _win_ that argument, but one could make it. Not being a parent, it’s difficult for me to weigh in any further. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/26 "2011-07-14T18:31:43Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > This. This is exactly what I would wish should we have a girl [wife due in a month]. This is exactly what I plan to do with our child, boy or girl. Now I am not jaded enough to think that their terrible teens won’t challenge me, because I know they will - but if they have the knowledge and wherewithal to meet the world as it is, then I am happy. I made my fair share of mistakes, but I learned and I still have all my limbs. > > As for the OP - I’d kill him and make it look like an accident…a hunting accident, no! A logging accident!! A tragic accident involving a chain hoist and a wood chipper perhaps? A little self-bondage session gone terribly awry? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/27 "2011-07-14T18:32:43Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Wow. I’m amazed that people really do stuff like this. I always tell my daughter, "I’m giving you ALL the knowledge you need to make good healthy choices. I am giving you freedom to have your own ideas, tools to aid in critical thinking and skepticism to protect you from being naive and gullible in this world. If you end up making fucked up choices that mess you all up, I am going to hold on to that as a comfort and hope that softens the blow for me. I am NOT going to blame myself or allow you to drive me coo coo with worry over your rebellions. > . Are you me? This dad pretty much F’d up in raising his daughter in How to make Important Decisions 101; How to Say No:101; How to tell if your Boyfriend is a Dickweed 101; and other basic Lifeskills. She might have been going through a “Rebellious Phase” and did shit to piss off Daddy, but when they do that, what they really want is Daddy’s attention. So, Daddy John Wayne & John McClain’s into saving her from the cock up that she made for herself and Dad’s life is all f’d up here on. She’s f’d up for life too. No man will ever measure up to what her Daddy did and shoulda done. She supports him now. The circle of codependcy… ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/28 "2011-07-14T19:07:54Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > The dad is as big a moron as the girl. I’d go after the guy for statutory rape and drug charges. The legal age of consent in Canada is 16 and in 2003, it was 14. There’s no evidence of statutory rape here. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/29 "2011-07-14T20:09:45Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The legal age of consent in Canada is 16 and in 2003, it was 14. There’s no evidence of statutory rape here. The OP asks what posters would do in a similar situation. It does not specify that I am somehow transported to another country, and bound by their law. In my jurisdiction, the guy is guilty of statutory rape, and I’d respond accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/30 "2011-07-14T22:09:48Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Are you me? > > This dad pretty much F’d up in raising his daughter in How to make Important Decisions 101; I am also you, I think. Maybe not. I continue to be somewhat horrified by the degree to which young people are infantalized. Hell, I was fifteen when I moved in with a twenty-year-old girlfriend, and have a hard time comprehending how it is that people manage to believe that it’s natural that a sixteen-year-old would have no responsibility, self-determination or ability to reason out their own self-interests. It seems to be that if this is the case, something has gone terribly wrong somewhere along the line. Why is it so common to fill up those first nineteen years by deferring important information “until you’re old enough” and then express dismay when things don’t work out well when you push an overgrown juvenile out into the real world? ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/31 "2011-07-14T22:59:07Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Teenage girls do all sorts of unbelievably idiotic and self-destructive shit and there is nobody to blame for it but themselves. And they have been doing it for a long time. While researching a branch of my family, I found this: “In 1705 “The Grand Jury of Monmouth Co., N.J. present Elizabeth, daughter of James Stout of Middletown, for a bastard child by James Hid, late of Middletown. She was fined 5 pounds and costs, or to be whipped 10 lashes on her bare back.” The fine was paid by her father.” She was 14 at the time ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/32 "2011-07-14T23:06:23Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Hell, I was fifteen when I moved in with a twenty-year-old girlfriend, and have a hard time comprehending how it is that people manage to believe that it’s natural that a sixteen-year-old would have no responsibility, self-determination or ability to reason out their own self-interests. It seems to be that if this is the case, something has gone terribly wrong somewhere along the line. It is a known fact that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain employed for making decisions is not fully developed until the early twenties. [Check it out](http://www.edinformatics.com/news/teenage_brains.htm) Our legal system has not kept up with the science, and a 16 year old is simply not qualified to make decisions like shacking up or having a baby. Its easy to blame the parents, but its been a long time since parents had the only influence on a childs behavior. And even a good parent can be thwarted by the other “bad” parent. And we all make mistakes, recover, and try again. A parent should never give up on their adolescent child. As far as that 24 year old man is concerned, he knows what he’s doing. In my book he’s a pedophile. I’m not going to get hung up on definitions based on the legal age of the victim. I’m sure some of you who feel this guy deserves to live would feel differently if the daughter was 11 and the legal system wasn’t any help. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/33 "2011-07-14T23:55:10Z")
It would be entirely legal where I am for a 16 year old to move wherever she chose. It’s no-one’s business to stop them. If your law says otherwise, your law is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/34 "2011-07-15T00:10:51Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > It would be entirely legal where I am for a 16 year old to move wherever she chose. It’s no-one’s business to stop them. If your law says otherwise, your law is wrong. Not even their parents? And she was also doing drugs and generally driving her life to the wrecks. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/35 "2011-07-15T00:22:30Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Not even their parents? And she was also doing drugs and generally driving her life to the wrecks. The drugs are an issue, but it would depend what they are. Pot is fine, heroin is not, and the police should obviously be called in that case. To clarify my point, the parents have an interest, but they don’t have the right to stop her moving out. In most cases, if a child _wants_ to move out at 16, there’s something wrong with the parents, although I personally know at least one exception, but in this case the fact that the father shot an innocent man strongly suggest he’s not a great parent and role model. ---
**Author:** ![Lil\_Ol\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@Lil\_Ol\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lil_Ol_Lady)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/36 "2011-07-15T00:45:04Z")
I remember I had just turned 18 and graduated high school and moved to Greenwich Village in New York City. Of course this was the mid 60s and I saw lots of girls younger than myself living with, or should I say, off of older guys. Most of whom were gay guys trying to avoid the discriminatory notions of the day. It really was a different world back then, sure we had lots of crime, but it didn’t seem so extreme as it does now. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/37 "2011-07-15T00:51:01Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I would not shoot him. I may beat him till he cries like a little girl, but I would not shoot him. What if he kicked your ass? Does he win the right to do as he pleases with your daughter? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/38 "2011-07-15T00:52:23Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Not even their parents? And she was also doing drugs and generally driving her life to the wrecks. It is tricky to get the right ages for individual responsibility. Here (in Scotland), for consensual sex it is 16 regardless of sexuality (used to be 14 for boys) but there are caveats about being in a position of responsibility over the younger person. The legal drinking ages are 5 at home, 16 with a meal in a licensed premises, and 18 as a full adult. Cigarettes at 18 and cars at 17. You can get married at 16 without parental consent. Voting is 18, and you can’t be deployed in a fighting role in the military till then either, although you can enlist before that. Which ones would you change and why? ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/39 "2011-07-15T02:06:58Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > The interesting part is she’s been clean since and she supports her father. The man killed some one to get what he wanted. I’d play by his rules, too. In defense of the dead dirtbag junkie, I’d like to point out that 24 is (or, in this case, was) pretty young, too. He had plenty of time to straighten up, if it hadn’t been stolen from him. And sex with a 16 year old is NOT pedophilia. It way not be a socially acceptable age difference, but it is not pathological or inherently abusive. What would I have done? Gotten the guy busted for on a drugs charge. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960/40 "2011-07-15T02:12:33Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > That said, he deliberately and intentionally killed someone and it was not in self defense or defense of another’s life or limb.. That’s debatable. I think he did it in defense of his daughter’s life. I also think he should get an ecology award for cleaning garbage out of the environment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/16-yr-old-daughter-on-drugs-shacked-up-with-24-yr-old-wwyd/588960.md?page=3)