# 17 year old girl runs off with 20 yr old boyfriend. CNN exclusive。 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411 "2010-07-03T10:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/21 "2010-07-03T15:46:26Z")
Yep, and he should be charged with obstruction of justice. Police resources aren’t free to track a missing/runaway. Even if the runaway is 17. Don’t give a damn if they are having sex or not. Do give a damn if the police knocked on his door and he said “I don’t know where she is.” Also seems pretty selfish and inconsiderate to her parents - who appear to be worried enough to call the police. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/22 "2010-07-03T15:59:55Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > There’s no link in the OP. Was the boy charged with anything other than obstruction of justice (a charge which would be entirely valid)? > > It also IS kidnapping in my opinion, but I doubt he’d be charged with it. You don’t think kidnapping should include, as an element of the crime, a lack of consent on the part of the victim? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/23 "2010-07-03T16:03:44Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Guys, remember when you were in high school and the girls in your class wouldn’t give you the time of day because you had to compete with older boys who had cars and money from full-time jobs (but didn’t date women their own age because their dating pool of female HS grads had either moved off to college or already gotten married), and the girls would contend that this was the natural order of things since “girls mature before boys do” (which was true at age 12-13 but by age 16 both genders are on equal footing)? I know I keenly remember that. This is about the reverse of my experience - I didn’t have a lot of interest in girls my own age in high school, and gravitated toward nerdy university-age girls I met through BBSs. They could make conversation on topics outside of Duran Duran, and were actively interested having sex as opposed the interminable tease of trying to get next to girls my own age. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/24 "2010-07-03T16:09:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You don’t think kidnapping should include, as an element of the crime, a lack of consent on the part of the victim? Not if the victim is a child, no. Of course not. You think children should be able to “consent” to be taken away from their parents without their parents’ knowledge or permission? Are you kidding me? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/25 "2010-07-03T16:11:06Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > This is about the reverse of my experience - I didn’t have a lot of interest in girls my own age in high school, and gravitated toward nerdy university-age girls I met through BBSs. They could make conversation on topics outside of Duran Duran, and were actively interested having sex as opposed the interminable tease of trying to get next to girls my own age. If they were so sophisticated then why did they have to hit on high school boys? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/26 "2010-07-03T16:16:35Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Not if the victim is a child, no. Of course not. You think children should be able to “consent” to be taken away from their parents without their parents’ knowledge or permission? Are you kidding me? Despite my admitted tendencies toward sexist pigism, I find it hard to think of a 17-year-old as a child for these purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/27 "2010-07-03T16:21:39Z")
What does the gender have to do with it? A 17-year-old, male or female, is a minor child still under the guardianship of his or her parents. There is no right for another adult to remove that minor from the household without the parents’ consent or knowledge, and imagined “consent” on the part of the child is not relevant. Minors do not have the legal right to leave that household without their parents’ consent. Do you believe that it should be legal to remove a minor child from a household without the knowledge or consent of his or her legal guardians? You didn’t answer that question. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/28 "2010-07-03T17:07:29Z")
My sister landed herself in juvie because she refused to live in the same house as my abusive mother when she was 17. Virginia state law. Yes, I think 17-year-olds of all kinds should have the option of choosing not to live in their parent’s house, even if it’s against their parent’s will. ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/29 "2010-07-03T17:21:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > A 17-year-old, male or female, is a minor child still under the guardianship of his or her parents. There is no right for another adult to remove that minor from the household without the parents’ consent or knowledge But did he remove her at all? As far as I can tell it sounds like she left on her own. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/30 "2010-07-03T17:35:08Z")
He hid her and lied about having knowledge of her whereabouts, so same difference. She was a minor, he was an adult. On refelection, maybe “kidnapping” is not quite the right charge, but obstruction of justice certainly is, and it’s definitely inappropriate and a crime. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/31 "2010-07-03T17:35:39Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If they were so sophisticated then why did they have to hit on high school boys? Didn’t I specify that I went for nerds? They didn’t have to be ultra-sophisticated to compare favourably with girls my own age, there just needed to be a community of interest. At the time I had a comically pretentious audio art project that got regular airplay on the local community & university stations (and for one golden moment in the small small hours, CBC stereo,) which may have been attractive to the fringe arts nerds I went with. They were “mature” in the sense that they were more conscientious about contraception & prophylaxis than I might have been naturally; I’m glad of that. I’m not sure that it makes sense to hysterically pathologize relations with a bit of an age difference. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/32 "2010-07-03T17:38:06Z")
Wake me up when there’s an actual news story here. Snore. ETA: Now, [THIS is a news story](http://www.timescolonist.com/news/Medicine+girl+convicted+murdering+family+placed+group+home/3221258/story.html) - Medicine Hat girl who killed her entire family at 12 is being moved to a group home. I’d like to see someone like Nancy Grace chew on something like _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/33 "2010-07-03T17:50:03Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > My sister landed herself in juvie because she refused to live in the same house as my abusive mother when she was 17. Virginia state law. > > Yes, I think 17-year-olds of all kinds should have the option of choosing not to live in their parent’s house, even if it’s against their parent’s will. Most states have some sort of process for a 17 year old (or even younger) to get legal emancipation from their parents. There is a provision for this in Virginia. However, because you are legally a minor, you do need to go through the court system and convince a judge it is in your best interest. ETA: When I was 18-19-20 I had a friend who was an emancipated 16 year old. Lived on her own, held a job. I haven’t seen her for years, but she is still friends of friends - and did pretty darn well for herself considering her history (abuse) and lack of support. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/34 "2010-07-03T17:54:53Z")
[QUOTE=ivan astikov] I blame the parents. > [@kidneyfailure](#): > > I blame Obama. [/QUOTE] I blame the Gold Standard! Well, I have been on both sides of the argument about adults doing minors. My first girlfriend in the biblical sense was a 21 year old sister of one of my friends. My parents weren’t thrilled - I was of course delighted at first. My girlfriend had her own apartment, and could buy alcohol, and let us have parties! What’s not to like? Later, when the 21 year old started talking about marriage, my 16 year old brain freaked and I bolted. A few years later I am 23, dating a 17 year old (out of HS and on her way to college, so she technically does not bring me under **Slithy Tove’s** ire.) I love her from the beginning, but do remember my earlier experience. So I don’t mention marriage for years. It worked - we’ll have been married for 12 years this month. I guess the point of my story is: the main problem with relationships like this is the very high likelihood that the people involved may have very different ideas of what a relationship means and entails. The fact that both parties are likely to have sex without each other really does not enter into it. At 16, I had no intention of getting married for a long time, the 21 year old was talking about getting married when I graduated high school. At 23, I was thinking about marriage in the near future, but the person that I loved wasn’t going to be ready for years. Her parents certainly would have gone nuts if she started to talk about it before she was nearing the end of college. So, I waited. I do feel for the people that are part of this nut’s narrative this time. I had a friend run away several times around that age as well. I let him sleep in my car. Usually people run away when things are pretty intolerable at home. I don’t know much about this situation, though. I’m not watching Nancy Grace to find out. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/35 "2010-07-03T17:56:17Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What does the gender have to do with it? It has to do with the fact that I have tendencies towards sexism I consciously guard against. My impulse is to think that a 17-year-old human female is still a kid in need of protection, but that ain’t necessarily so. > [@](#): > > A 17-year-old, male or female, is a minor child still under the guardianship of his or her parents. There is no right for another adult to remove that minor from the household without the parents’ consent or knowledge, and imagined “consent” on the part of the child is not relevant. Minors do not have the legal right to leave that household without their parents’ consent. > > Do you believe that it should be legal to remove a minor child from a household without the knowledge or consent of his or her legal guardians? You didn’t answer that question. It would depend on the individual circumstances. I can imagine situations in which I would help a child who was being abused escape his or her family, regardless of what the law said, for instance. I wouldn’t do what this young man did now, and I doubt I would have at his age, but that doesn’t mean I think it appropriate to clal him anything other than foolish. And it is willfully obtuse to think that a 17-year-old cannot meaningfully consent to leave home or have sex. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/36 "2010-07-03T17:57:36Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > When I was 18-19-20 I had a friend who was an emancipated 16 year old. Lived on her own, held a job. I haven’t seen her for years, but she is still friends of friends - and did pretty darn well for herself considering her history (abuse) and lack of support. My best friend from high school was legally emancipated at that age as well. She lived on her own from junior year on. If you knew her and and her parents, you’d think she waited a year too long to get out of Dodge. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/37 "2010-07-03T18:33:07Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What does the gender have to do with it? > > A 17-year-old, male or female, is a minor child still under the guardianship of his or her parents. There is no right for another adult to remove that minor from the household without the parents’ consent or knowledge, and imagined “consent” on the part of the child is not relevant. Minors do not have the legal right to leave that household without their parents’ consent. > > Do you believe that it should be legal to remove a minor child from a household without the knowledge or consent of his or her legal guardians? You didn’t answer that question. In Ohio, they have a law for this exact situation, called interference with custody: > [@](#): > > 2919.23 Interference with custody. > > (A) No person, knowing the person is without privilege to do so or being reckless in that regard, shall entice, take, keep, or harbor a person identified in division (A)(1), (2), or (3) of this section from the parent, guardian, or custodian of the person identified in division (A)(1), (2), or (3) of this section: > > (1) A child under the age of eighteen, or a mentally or physically handicapped child under the age of twenty-one; > > (2) A person committed by law to an institution for delinquent, unruly, neglected, abused, or dependent children; > > (3) A person committed by law to an institution for the mentally ill or mentally retarded. > > (B) No person shall aid, abet, induce, cause, or encourage a child or a ward of the juvenile court who has been committed to the custody of any person, department, or public or private institution to leave the custody of that person, department, or institution without legal consent. > > (C) It is an affirmative defense to a charge of enticing or taking under division (A)(1) of this section, that the actor reasonably believed that the actor’s conduct was necessary to preserve the child’s health or safety. It is an affirmative defense to a charge of keeping or harboring under division (A) of this section, that the actor in good faith gave notice to law enforcement or judicial authorities within a reasonable time after the child or committed person came under the actor’s shelter, protection, or influence. > > (D)(1) Whoever violates this section is guilty of interference with custody. > > (2) Except as otherwise provided in this division, a violation of division (A)(1) of this section is a misdemeanor of the first degree. If the child who is the subject of a violation of division (A)(1) of this section is removed from the state or if the offender previously has been convicted of an offense under this section, a violation of division (A)(1) of this section is a felony of the fifth degree. If the child who is the subject of a violation of division (A)(1) of this section suffers physical harm as a result of the violation, a violation of division (A)(1) of this section is a felony of the fourth degree. > > (3) A violation of division (A)(2) or (3) of this section is a misdemeanor of the third degree. > > (4) A violation of division (B) of this section is a misdemeanor of the first degree. Each day of violation of division (B) of this section is a separate offense. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/38 "2010-07-03T18:37:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Wake me up when there’s an actual news story here. Snore. > > ETA: Now, [THIS is a news story](http://www.timescolonist.com/news/Medicine+girl+convicted+murdering+family+placed+group+home/3221258/story.html) - Medicine Hat girl who killed her entire family at 12 is being moved to a group home. I’d like to see someone like Nancy Grace chew on something like _that_. That’s a very cost effective solution to overcrowing. Move the kid out of prison to free up prison space, and have the kid kill off her new group home roomies to free up space there too. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/39 "2010-07-03T18:41:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > That’s a very cost effective solution to overcrowing. Move the kid out of prison to free up prison space, and have the kid kill off her new group home roomies to free up space there too. NOW you’re talking! She could clean out the whole penitentiary system! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411/40 "2010-07-03T18:42:19Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Minors do not have the legal right to leave that household without their parents’ consent. That would depend on the law of each particular jurisdiction. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/17-year-old-girl-runs-off-with-20-yr-old-boyfriend-cnn-exclusive/545411.md?page=3)