# 18. Don't drink. Surprising? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817 "2002-07-07T20:48:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/41 "2002-07-08T20:27:02Z")
I agree with Zoggie. I think that was the first time I ever used the rolleye smilie. ---
**Author:** ![Jonmarzie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jonmarzie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonmarzie)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/42 "2002-07-08T22:18:23Z")
Well, to clear things up, I work at Chesters Hamburgers, a dine-in burger place that has no beer on tap, just in bottles behind me, a cashier, to buy for drinking in. Yes, we have Negra Modela, and many others. If there’s a beer, we most likely have it. Yet, I’m still perplexed why I am looked at as weird, even if I preempt my response of “Well, the Red Stripe is on sale and the Grolsh is popular” with “Well, I don’t drink, but . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/43 "2002-07-08T22:53:54Z")
I am 22 and I also don’t drink. In my country you can drink (legaly) when you are 18 (which seems logical since from taht age you can be drafted, drive, vote) I’m the only one in my group that don’t drink no it’s not a big deal but during highschool (yep, that law is not respected here either) “social pressure” was very hard to stand. Luckily I did not surrender the result: I don’t drink that “piss goat without amoniac” (beer) and I never had a hangover. More important I always remember what I did the night before, I have self control and I managed to ask a girl to dance without ingesting alcohol. On the other hand wine tasting parties are certainly elegant. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/44 "2002-07-08T23:18:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*What do I think of someone who doesn’t engage in activities that most people engage in? Well, sometimes I think it’s kind of odd. Sorry. I have a difficult time understanding their point of view. > I don’t understand Vegetarians either. I like the taste of meat. One time, in my younger years, I tried to go a few days on a vegetarian diet. It was awful. I never really felt “full”, and I wanted to eat dead animal flesh. > > Same thing goes with people who’ve never tried alcohol before, a widely used drug. \*\* You can’t understand them, or you don’t want to do them yourself? There is a huge difference. Me, I don’t drink alcohol very often, and when I do it’s hidden in other things. Why? because it’s gross and nasty, that’s why. Is it really hard to _understand_ that someone might not want to injest something that they think is totally foul? For me, I don’t think that the enjoyability of meat outweighs my desire for animals to not be killed, so I don’t eat it. Is that really so hard to _understand_? Not agree with–no one is asking that–but comprehending… is it so hard? Sex? Not everyone is especially interested in it, actually. I’ve been on medication for a number of years now that has that unfortunate side effect. I’d be fine and dandy never having sex again for the rest of my life. I don’t desire it, in fact it is somewhat repulsive to me now. My mom isn’t on medication, but she is very religious. She hasn’t dated anyone in almost 30 years, since she got divorced. She thinks sex is dirty and won’t even watch people kiss on tv. I don’t think she feels she is missing out on anything either. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/45 "2002-07-08T23:24:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*What do I think of someone who doesn’t engage in activities that most people engage in? Well, sometimes I think it’s kind of odd. Sorry. I have a difficult time understanding their point of view. > I don’t understand Vegetarians either. I like the taste of meat. One time, in my younger years, I tried to go a few days on a vegetarian diet. It was awful. I never really felt “full”, and I wanted to eat dead animal flesh. > > Same thing goes with people who’ve never tried alcohol before, a widely used drug. \*\* You can’t understand them, or you don’t want to do them yourself? There is a huge difference. Me, I don’t drink alcohol very often, and when I do it’s hidden in other things. Why? because it’s gross and nasty, that’s why. Is it really hard to _understand_ that someone might not want to injest something that they think is totally foul? For me, I don’t think that the enjoyability of meat outweighs my desire for animals to not be killed, so I don’t eat it. Is that really so hard to _understand_? Not agree with–no one is asking that–but comprehending… is it so hard? Sex? Not everyone is especially interested in it, actually. I’ve been on medication for a number of years now that has that unfortunate side effect. I’d be fine and dandy never having sex again for the rest of my life. I don’t desire it, in fact it is somewhat repulsive to me now. My mom isn’t on medication, but she is very religious. She hasn’t dated anyone in almost 30 years, since she got divorced. She thinks sex is dirty and won’t even watch people kiss on tv. I don’t think she feels she is missing out on anything either. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/46 "2002-07-09T00:55:14Z")
I am almost positive that the OP is experiencing the “weird looks” at least in part because he does not drink. I have never drunk—I don’t want to, it does not interest me. The few sips I have had now and then have done nothing for me. (Well, rarely. I did have some limeade with a dash of some sort of liquor in it, and that was tasty—but then again, limeade is tasty!) I get weird looks, conversations that have the definite tone of “What’s wrong with you, and how can I fix it, you poor strange creature” and the classic defensive “What? You think you’re _better_ than me?” (I have no idea where this comes from—I understand that most people drink, and I don’t think I’m “better” than them.) People can freak out a little when they discover you don’t drink. They cannot fathom it. It does not compute. You MUST want to drink, really, deep down inside, they think. And they try to “fix” your tragic little problem. Oh boy. No bloody thanks. > [@](#): > > _Jonmarzie wrote:_ > Yet, I’m still perplexed why I am looked at as weird, even if I preempt my response of “Well, the Red Stripe is on sale and the Grolsh is popular” with “Well, I don’t drink, but . . .” See, even when he _does_ suggest a popular beer, that’s not enough. He still gets the looks. I would also suggest (like so many others have) that the OP be able to rattle off a few popular beers, and let that be the end of it. But it does sound like he already does that. It apparently isn’t enough to stave off the weird looks. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/47 "2002-07-09T01:06:39Z")
I suggest that it’s odd that a restaurant that is renound in the city for it’s huge variety of brews would have a person who doesn’t drink dealing directly with people that want recommendations. As I said, it’s like having someone at a liquor store that doesn’t know anything about the wines they sell. That’s what I find odd. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/48 "2002-07-09T01:58:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > \*\* > People can freak out a little when they discover you don’t drink. They cannot fathom it. It does not compute. You MUST want to drink, really, deep down inside, they think. And they try to “fix” your tragic little problem. Oh boy. No bloody thanks. > See, even when he _does_ suggest a popular beer, that’s not enough. He still gets the looks. > \*\* That is so true, **yosemitebabe**. I have discovered that it is true even if you have a medical excuse! I was never a drinker to begin with (I have tasted, and I do mean _tasted_, alcohol exactly twice in my life), but in my late teens I developed a medical condition, and, to make a long hospital drama short, it would be a pretty bad idea for me to ever have much to drink. When I first went away to college, I figured this would give me the perfect excuse not to drink. No more would I be pestered by people who needed to see me consume alcohol! I could simply tell them that I _couldn’t_ drink, and they’d leave me alone! Ha. I have had people _scream_ at me for refusing a drink. I have had people _threaten to give me a spiked drink_, even _after_ I politely refused a drink multiple times, explained why I did not want one, and pointed out that alcohol consumption on my part could very well necessitate a trip to the emergency room and that no one else seemed eager to play designated driver for me. That was the night I adopted my new policy of refusing any and all drinks at parties where alcohol was being served. Now, not everyone reacts this way to non-drinkers. Some just give you a funny look, as the OP mentioned. And that was what the OP was complaining about, a fact that many posters seemed to have missed. He wasn’t complaining about being asked to recommend drinks. He was complaining about the odd looks he receives when he says that he doesn’t drink because he’s underaged. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/49 "2002-07-09T02:52:27Z")
The big diference here **Lamia** , is that this isn’t exactly a social situation he or she (Has that been settled yet? Is this a guy or a girl we’re talking about here?) is talking about, it’s a work situation. Sure, had this been a situation like you describe, where people were downright pissed that a person didn’t drink for whatever reason outside of work, I’d be more understanding. But the fact that people are asking a representative of the business questions and suggestions _directly_ relating to his or her’s job, makes all the difference in the world. He or she should know, it’s their job. If the prospect of offering suggestions on things the person is totally unaware of, or even considering learning about it, than that person should seriously reconsider working there. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/50 "2002-07-09T03:10:00Z")
But the OP _is_ suggesting drinks. Or the closest he can to it—telling the customer what is popular. That’s all he can do, he’s underage and he DOESN’T drink, nor is he _legally_ allowed to drink. A If he is doing his duty and suggesting drinks (even if he has never tasted them himself) then why should he get weird looks? And I think what Lamia and I are describing could very well happen in the OP’s restaurant—if people tend to get freaked out over a non-drinker, why would they be _less_ freaked out just because the non-drinker is underage, and working at a restaurant that sells beer? Sure, they may also be reacting to the weirdness of the underage non-drinker working at such a restaurant, but I have no trouble believing that they are freaked out by the concept of a person _not_ drinking. I mean, they are freaked out by people like Lamia and me, and we don’t work in restaurants that sell beer. Non-drinking is a totally foreign concept to some people. Why would the setting where they encounter the non-drinker make that much difference? ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/51 "2002-07-09T03:26:43Z")
Heehee. I hate alcohol so much that when I was a waitress, I refused to offer anyone wine or beer; I’d only sell it if they asked for it, and I’d make one of the managers take it to the table because I didn’t want to smell it. Fortunately we didn’t sell it much to begin with, since we were driven out of business by old ladies ordering nothing but water and pie then sitting at a table for three hours. If you don’t want to drink, don’t let anyone make you. You may want to consider finding another job though. (Ick… the idea of walking in a place filled with beer-smell makes me a bit sick to my stomach…) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/52 "2002-07-09T03:28:43Z")
On the plus side, in my experience, people get much less ornery about your drinking choices as you get older. My group of friends and I are all in our mid-thirties, and we have many reasons to not drink, and no one thinks twice about whether you have a drink or not. Some of us have high-powered jobs to get up for, some of us have kids waiting at home, some of us have just been there and done that and don’t anymore. No one questions or cares. As for the OP, just suggest a brew and leave your personal life out of it. Unless you feel some kind of need to brag about your non-drinking status. (BTW, the drinking age here is 18, too - this really seems like a tempest in a teapot to me.) ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/53 "2002-07-09T03:39:59Z")
i’m 19, and i’ve never had more than teensy samples. i can’t stand the taste of alcohol, i see no point in letting a substance control me, and i’ve seen what alcohol will do to people. a few months ago, my college roommate drank something like 4 bottles of some alcoholic beverage - after whe was already sick from our lovely cafeteria food - and i’m surprised she didn’t cause plumbing problems when she threw up 12 times. i was pretending to sleep when she called people in tears at 2 am, and our neighbor had to come take care of her. i was really worried and thought of just telling the RA and getting her in trouble just to get her some medical attention, but i knew our neighbor would notify someone if things got serious. that basically taught my roommate not to drink so much, particularly after getting food poisoning. as for recommendations, pick a relative’s favorite drink and tell that to people who ask. johnny walker red on the rocks with a splash of water. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/54 "2002-07-09T03:40:54Z")
Well most people just don’t expect to be told their cashiers personal choices about alcohol. I currently work in an auto part store (I’m a college student…I don’t just work a constant stream of lame jobs for fun). I don’t have a drivers license. I am opposed to the internal combustion engine. I choose not to drive. I think the world would be better if everybody made that choice. But the time to make that public is not the at work. Now people look at me a little funny when I say I don’t drive. It doesn’t bug me because it is a little strange in this car-obssessed society. But if I suddenly decided to make my views known every time somebody asked me to reccommend an anti-freeze, I’d probably get more than funny looks, I’d get fired. I mean imagine you are a customer at your work. You are somewhat bewildered by the variety. The cashier is smiling at you, though, and he looks like he wants to ring up your order. You try to think of what to say. In an attempt to make some friendly banter, you ask the clerk what he likes. The clerk says “I don’t know, I don’t drink, I’m underage” And there you are feeling like you just asked Lolita what flavor condom she prefers. Of course you are going to look at him funny. You’ve been jolted out of the standard mode of commercial interaction. You’ve been made vaguely ashamed of your purchase. You probably don’t know what to say. What if you asked a waitress what dessert she reccommended and she said “I don’t know. I don’t eat sugary foods. I’m diabetic”. Being diabetic is a prefectly legitemate thing, but it’s still gonna throw you off, and probably make you think your waitress is being snide or something. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/55 "2002-07-09T03:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lenin \* > \*\*Do not fret, Blalron, for you can drink to your heart’s content on the very same day that they allow you to first vote. \*\* Um, last time I checked, there were three years between getting to vote and getting to drink… I agree with your point wholeheartedly though; there’s no logical connection between being old enough to be a soldier and old enough to drink. Though I must admit, when I was eighteen we used to say the same thing. “If I’m old enough to die for my country, I’m old enough to have a damn beer!” As if we had just made a valid anti-oppression point or some such. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/56 "2002-07-09T04:50:40Z")
By the time you hit your thirties, nobody will care and you’ll be better respected than all those fools who can’t handle their liquor. Drinking is “cool” only as an undergrad - after that, it slowly but surely becomes a liability to your quality of life. I never drank, never been drunk, never had a desire to. I always told people I was allergic to alcohol, even to the point where I couldn’t have cough syrup. I can’t stand the taste of alcohol, and if you have to “acquire” a taste for something, then it surely can’t be good for you. Frankly, I’m starting to be embarrassed because I don’t _golf_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/57 "2002-07-09T06:18:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I agree with your point wholeheartedly though; there’s no logical connection between being old enough to be a soldier and old enough to drink. When they can force you to go to another country and risk your life, I think you deserve to have the full privelidges of being an adult to go along with the full responsibilities. That is the logical connection. Maybe you don’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/58 "2002-07-09T07:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*When they can force you to go to another country and risk your life, I think you deserve to have the full privelidges of being an adult to go along with the full responsibilities. That is the logical connection. Maybe you don’t see it. \*\* That is not a logical connection. See here: There’s a difference between the government MAKING you do something and LETTING you do something, see? I know you REALLY, REALLY want to be able to buy beer, but you’ll just have to settle for keggars on weekends for now. Poor guy. Just as well- Not everyone is cut out to be a full-time alcoholic. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/59 "2002-07-10T02:09:04Z")
I’m not in favor of lowering the age to 18, and I don’t drink so it doesn’t matter, but how about this for a logical connection: you can use all other legal drugs at 18, alchohol is the only one with a 21 age. I don’t have a dog in this race, so I don’t really care, but I do think there should be some sort of internal consistancy for government given ‘rights’. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817/60 "2002-07-10T03:02:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by even sven \* > \*\*I mean imagine you are a customer at your work. You are somewhat bewildered by the variety. The cashier is smiling at you, though, and he looks like he wants to ring up your order. You try to think of what to say. In an attempt to make some friendly banter, you ask the clerk what he likes. > > The clerk says “I don’t know, I don’t drink, I’m underage” > > And there you are feeling like you just asked Lolita what flavor condom she prefers. Of course you are going to look at him funny. You’ve been jolted out of the standard mode of commercial interaction. You’ve been made vaguely ashamed of your purchase. You probably don’t know what to say.\*\* You’re vaguely ashamed because you’re an adult of legal age purchasing alcohol and the person behind the counter is underaged? What? If jonmarzie was saying “I don’t drink because alcohol is bad for you, but Red Stripe is popular.” or “I don’t drink because the Bible counsels drunkeness from the Spirit, not wine, but Red Stripe is popular.” then weird looks and being “jolted” would make sense. “What do you like?” “I’m sorry, I don’t drink, but the Red Stripe is popular.” “What do you mean you don’t drink?” “I’m underage, I don’t drink.” “Oh.” “What do you recommend?” “Well, I don’t drink, but the Red Stripe seems popular.” If you get vaguely ashamed and offput because someone says “I can’t do X for this perfectly understandable, acceptable and legitimate reason.” you’re being completely hypersensitive. Especially, **especially** if you’ve _asked this person their opinion_. If you ask me what I know, and I don’t know anything, and you cannot accept that at face value and have to know _why_ I don’t know, then you don’t have any reason to get all hot under the collar when my reason is meaningful. Jonmarzie, if you’re asked for recommendations, just say “Blah is popular.” and leave it at that unless they act like nosy jerks and press. It’s no one’s business what you like or don’t like, what you prefer or don’t, and don’t feel obligated to make excuses for yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-dont-drink-surprising/117817.md?page=4)