# 18 yo girl and 25 yo? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 13, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078 "2016-01-13T22:41:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078/41 "2016-01-15T20:35:01Z")
I never lied to my parents about how old a guy I was dating was. And the 25 year old I dated when I was 18? We’ve been married 23 years today. It doesn’t work for everyone… I know of quite a few divorces where the guy was 6-7 years older. Then again I also know quite a few divorces where the two were pretty much the same age. And marriages that lasted both with a large age gap or no age gap at all. But as far as dating goes age shouldn’t enter into the equation (sexual relationships not included, no adults with children, yadda yadda). Dating is so you can get to know someone, warts and all. From there maybe marriage or maybe looking for someone more compatible. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078/42 "2016-01-15T20:47:24Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > I was responding to RickJay, about how the parents should just let her date him and not worry about it, since it’s normal to date in college and most relationships won’t last forever anyway. I absolutely did not say this. Of course her parents are entitled to worry about it (parents worry about their children every moment) and can advise her and such. I’d sure as hell have something to say to my daughter if the first she she and her boyfriend did was to lie about some fundamental fact. “You can’t talk to that boy” is, however, a preposterous thing to say to an 18-year-old. It’s swinging way, way too far in the direction of overprotection, which is easy for a parent to do, God knows, but it’s still an error, and parents must accept their adult children might make decisions that don’t work out for the best. It’s part of growing up and learning. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078/43 "2016-01-15T21:28:22Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I absolutely did not say this. Of course her parents are entitled to worry about it (parents worry about their children every moment) and can advise her and such. I’d sure as hell have something to say to my daughter if the first she she and her boyfriend did was to lie about some fundamental fact. > > “You can’t talk to that boy” is, however, a preposterous thing to say to an 18-year-old. It’s swinging way, way too far in the direction of overprotection, which is easy for a parent to do, God knows, but it’s still an error, and parents must accept their adult children might make decisions that don’t work out for the best. It’s part of growing up and learning. Sorry, I misunderstood you, it sounds like we agree on what would be best. Talking to your non-minor child is good, forbidding things is way overboard. ---
**Author:** ![bb49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bb49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bb49)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078/44 "2016-01-16T03:14:36Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I started dating a 27-year-old when I was 17. I never lied about his age to my parents and yes, they were very unhappy about the relationship and would have stopped it if they could (I was already away at college living in a dorm, so they could not control my daily movements unless they wanted to yank me out of college). At one point my mother said “if you loved us, you’d stop seeing him.” > > That was an epiphany - it made me realize “if he is truly my soulmate, I will be willing to go against my parents wishes in order to be with him.” So I made a choice to defy them. But it was always in a grown-up manner: no hiding the truth or lying. I was willing to be upfront and accept the consequence of my choices. Seems to me that this is almost invariably the best choice. > > (In the event, I did not end up with that boyfriend, though he badly wanted to get married as soon as I graduated from college. In retrospect I do think he was a little immature - I may have been mature for a 17-year-old, but not THAT mature - but he was a stellar human being: honest, kind, and reliable. I don’t regret not marrying him, but I think very highly of the person he was when I knew him.) Wow Carol, I thought you were talking about me for a minute and just got my age wrong! She was 17 and I was 23. We met in a University pub, she told me she was 19 attending there, but I found out a couple of weeks later she was still in high school. By then things were too hot to cool off. Btw, I told her I was 21. But a couple of years later they did cool off. We came close to getting married, but thankfully we both smartened up. I hope she thinks as highly of me as you think of your ex. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yo-girl-and-25-yo/743078.md?page=2)