# 18 yr old daughter changing for the worse? (Long) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033 "2011-11-15T18:17:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033/121 "2011-11-17T01:52:17Z")
I see the OP hasn’t responded in a while; I hope she’s at least reading and thinking about what’s been written on here. I don’t think it’s what she wanted to hear. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033/122 "2011-11-17T02:13:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Maybe, but no-one here has embarrassed themselves with their replies. Apart from me being cynical, you mean? Actually now I see that **jayjay** and **pulykamell** have similar misgivings. So taking the sincerity of the OP as read, I will give her [this amazing piece of wisdom](http://leb.net/mira/works/prophet/prophet4.html) from Khalil Gibran\*. I suggest she reads it all but here’s an excerpt: > [@](#): > > Your children are not your children. > They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. > They come through you but not from you, > And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. > … > You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. > The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. > Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; > For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. It was your job to do the aiming. But you can’t control the arrow once it’s in flight. \*Yeah I know it’s hackneyed - that’s because it’s so good. Bite me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033/123 "2011-11-17T04:37:03Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > She’s 18 and you make her call every hour when she’s at her friend’s house? Holy fuck. Wow. I didn’t have to do that when I was _7_. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033/124 "2011-11-17T14:05:12Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > There’s nothing to suggest this girl hasn’t been brought up well, just that she’s been a bit overprotected. Yeah, like that’s uncommon. Just because it’s common doesn’t make it not bad parenting, just because she has good intentions doesn’t make it not bad parenting, just because the poor girl hasn’t actually been abused doesn’t make it not bad parenting. You can’t read this thread and call the OP a good parent, they are probably a good person who didn’t know any better because they were raised the same way but that doesn’t mean she’s doing a good job. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033/125 "2011-11-17T14:24:51Z")
I also think the daughter is just growing up. I know that if my parents tried controlling me as much as the OP tries to control her daughter I’d be heading for the hills… whether I was ready for the move or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/18-yr-old-daughter-changing-for-the-worse-long/603033.md?page=6)