# 1994 human mutilation via UFO alien(s) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2015, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616 "2015-06-27T11:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/61 "2015-06-28T03:29:18Z")
> [@Dibbs](#): > > I speculate that _possibly_ a lot of folks that “disappear from the face of the earth” might be the result of what happened to this Brazilian fellow, only in his case they threw him in some trees instead of taking two-seconds to take him over the middle of an ocean and drop him in. > > It’s truly terrifying that that sort of thing could really be going on – people picked up by UFOs, of the bad variety, and then have their eyes and whatnot lasered out and then disposed of like so much garbage in the middle of nowhere. And how would anyone ever even know?☹ I’m finding all of this rather alarming. Dibbs, you sound like you’ve done a lot of research in this area. Can you extrapolate further what you think these aliens are looking for or intending? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/62 "2015-06-28T03:30:07Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I’m finding all of this rather alarming. Dibbs, you sound like you’ve done a lot of research in this area. C **an you extrapolate further what you think these aliens are looking for** or intending? Polyps. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/63 "2015-06-28T03:31:03Z")
With **Dibbs** they found one. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/64 "2015-06-28T03:38:55Z")
Obviously, **Dibbs** is a member of the skeptical community, masquerading as a UFO believer, and posting in such a manner as to bring disapproval upon that community. Only the Center for Inquiry could arrange so arrant a false-flag/Trojan Horse operation. It only proves how afraid the skeptics are, and how strong the evidence really is of visits from Arcturus, where marmot eyeballs are a vital ingredient in their immortality serum. ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/65 "2015-06-28T04:32:29Z")
Sometimes, people get fired for a reason. I guess \*\*asimovian \*\*rolled the dice and this thread ended up here. **Dibbs** , please consider the fact that you are actually a very stupid person. Dunning Kruger indeed. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/66 "2015-06-28T04:35:52Z")
Dibbs, having personal knowledge of the existance of aliens, how did you get around the fact you don’t have hyperskin? As we now know, any interaction with these beings involves burnt out eyebals, mutilation and drainage holes, which, of course, is the necessary steps into understanding any biology, let alone just saying, “hello.” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/67 "2015-06-28T04:46:46Z")
“To know death, Otto, you have to fuck life in the gallbladder.” Baron Frankenstein ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/68 "2015-06-28T04:51:57Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I think the aliens left their anal probes in Dibbs way too long. > [@running\_coach](#): > > **Dibbs** didn’t think it was long enough. > [@Morgenstern](#): > > No, they used the longest one. 🙂 No, I think the problem is they went a little too _deep_. They hit brain while probing. That’ll ruin anyone’s day. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/69 "2015-06-28T06:21:50Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > No, I think the problem is they went a little too _deep_. They hit brain while probing. That’ll ruin anyone’s day. I think that to hit brain matter with an anal probing of Dibbs, _shallow_ is the correct term. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/70 "2015-06-28T06:54:27Z")
OK, I’m going to admit to something I’ve succeeded in keeping secret for a very long time. Back in the mid-1990’s I was ritualistically and habitually mutilated by extraterrestrial beings from outer space—great big, hairy beings with very large genitals and multiple slimy appendages. They’d zip on down in their turbo-charged space ships and have their way with me at will. Those were the most [del]delightful[/del] traumatic experiences of my entire life! Oh, it started innocently enough, even mutually consensual, with their anal probing and such…but it escalated way beyond that shortly thereafter. Let me tell you, aliens from the bad side of outer space are quite naughty and somewhat misanthropic. Yeah, sure, they’re kinda cute, but that does not make up for their naughtiness and over-abundant sex drives. I’m a victim. A victim of unspeakable crimes against nature and all that is holy. As such, I can speak no further of the unspeakable genital hate crimes committed against me by horrible space aliens with unquenchable sexual urges. And, if that’s not bad enough, the bastards promise to call…but never do! ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/71 "2015-06-28T07:28:47Z")
“Tell the truth. You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?” What the grizzly bear said to the hunter it was about to sexually and brutally ravage for the third hunting season in a row. (From a jokes thread here recently.) ETA: mmm. Unquenchable. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/72 "2015-06-28T09:42:01Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Clearly the guy was injured in a street fight. Yup, it was probably _Blanka_; he’s Brazilian. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/73 "2015-06-28T09:55:26Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > “of the bad variety” Well, I wouldn’t want my daughter getting impregnated by any alien “of the bad variety”. Would you? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/74 "2015-06-28T11:27:22Z")
> [@Dibbs](#): > > Sad to see so much derision and so little consideration for a most serious subject.☹ I assure you that they are very serious in their skillfully executed derision. ---
**Author:** ![Willcross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Willcross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Willcross)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/75 "2015-06-28T12:15:46Z")
So they found a dead body in Latin America that was all cut up? These weren’t aliens, he obviously just called someone “butthurt”. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/76 "2015-06-28T12:16:44Z")
Who knew aliens were after our assholes all along? I can’t imagine how that might be pitched here at something like NASA. “Let’s face it. Space is fucking boring and fruitless. Unless… We can find beings we can ass-rape. I submit to you, ladies and gentlemen, that we forgo our current efforts into scientific space endeavors, and put all our resources, both intellectual and monetary, into interstellar travel so we can anally probe the assholes of advanced alien life.” “But can we also burn out their eye-holes?” “Ummm… Sure, I don’t see why not.” “Ayes” all around. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/77 "2015-06-28T12:31:43Z")
It was done by a chupacabra. Unless… Unless chupacabras are aliens! ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/78 "2015-06-28T13:00:44Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Weed wouldn’t do this. Dibbs’ views are obviously the result of the abuse of heavy drugs, in massive doses over generations. We are talking weapons-grade batshit here. Apparently you’ve no personal experience with the abuse of heavy drugs over generations … or you’d already be in line at Soldier Field. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/79 "2015-06-28T13:32:08Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > … > > —great big, hairy beings with very large genitals > > … Well, they definitely weren’t Mods then. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616/80 "2015-06-28T15:02:19Z")
> [@Dibbs](#): > > [Welcome alienvideo.net - BlueHost.com](http://www.alienvideo.net/0805/alien-abduction-mutilation.php) > > Btw, while I don’t wish to get into it, I do happen to know for a personal fact that UFOs of the pop culture variety do in fact exist. > [@running\_coach](#): > > Really? Then why open this thread? Yeah, he should have went with this info was revealed through a personal revelation or experience. And when asked for more details, he can’t, because…well, it’s just that personal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1994-human-mutilation-via-ufo-alien-s/723616.md?page=5)