# 2 cute jokes, both sides of the aisle! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204 "2012-11-16T16:25:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/21 "2012-11-19T03:20:49Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I don’t think that was the intent of the joke. I assumed it meant that when Anne Romney was having her “wildest dreams” she was having fantasies about somebody like Brad Pitt. It’s a generic joke you could use about any married couple. I don’t think so. It works on Romney because (accurately or otherwise) he has a reputation for being uptight. I don’t think it would work nearly so well about Obama because (accurately or otherwise) there is too much of a perception that Michelle is rather hot for her man. The balloon joke is totally generic though. You could tell it the other way around and it would work just as well (or just as badly, depending on your POV). It’s often told with other pairings, such as with the person on the ground being a lawyer and the person in the balloon being a typical client. Frankly it works better like that IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/22 "2012-11-19T03:29:25Z")
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle’’. Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a ‘post turtle’ was. The old rancher said, 'When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’. The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just gotta wonder what kind of dumbass put him up there in the first place.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/23 "2012-11-19T03:31:38Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. > > Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. > > The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle’’. > > Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a ‘post turtle’ was. > > The old rancher said, 'When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’. > > The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just gotta wonder what kind of dumbass put him up there in the first place.” Works with Bush, too. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/24 "2012-11-19T04:47:40Z")
Balloon and turtle jokes also fail at being non-partisan. Read OP; bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/25 "2012-11-19T11:42:23Z")
I liked 'em, OP 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/26 "2012-11-19T11:53:26Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > If Barack Obama walked on water, the Fox News headline would be, “Obama can’t swim!” If he healed the sick, they’d bemoan that he was undercutting the healthcare industry. If he cured lepers, they’d say he was promoting the lifestyle choices that drove them to leprosy. If he drove the money-changers out of the temple, they’d call him anti-capitalist. If he told people to turn the other cheek, he’d be a terrorist sympathizer. If he died and rose from the dead, they’d say he flip-flops. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/27 "2012-11-19T12:26:26Z")
Q. What’s the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? A. When Obama goes abroad, he apologizes for America. When Romney goes abroad, America apologizes for him. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/28 "2012-11-19T13:35:47Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > If Barack Obama walked on water, the Fox News headline would be, “Obama can’t swim!” Too old …originally attributed to Lyndon Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/29 "2012-11-19T17:08:07Z")
Q: What book does Mitt Romney want to read to our children? A: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, I Hate 47% of You-fish Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus? A: Jesus can put a cabinet together Yes, these were the best I could find. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/30 "2012-11-19T23:28:43Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.” > … > The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.” When I first heard that joke, the punch lines were “You must be an accountant” followed by “you must be in management”. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204/31 "2012-11-20T03:28:51Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > A moderate, a tea partier, and neocon walk into a bar. The bartender says, > > What’ll you have, Mitt? Winner of the thread, so far. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-cute-jokes-both-sides-of-the-aisle/641204.md?page=1)