# 2 dates, then THE TALK, now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412 "2010-12-16T20:03:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/101 "2010-12-22T01:24:49Z")
Wow. That last fool looks particularly eyebrow-rexic. He makes me look eyebrow obese. And I get regular brow waxings and have been known to go crazy with the tweezers… ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/102 "2010-12-22T01:36:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What, like [these fools?](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fd-lgkitTN8/Se-5yGXQvAI/AAAAAAAAABY/kYQd25z8uTU/s400/the-orange-guido-brigade.jpg) Or [this fool?](http://media.tumblr.com/G08JByNzw9otrp89YO0MUwIp_500.jpg) Or maybe [this fool?](http://www.peopleofjerseyshore.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Real-Live-Douchebag.jpg) 😃 > > (I thought it was only women who hated their eyebrows these days - I didn’t realize that guys did, too.) > > **fusoya** , would you mind going on some more dates from online people? I need more vicarious drama in my life. 🙂 Dear Douchebags: Please stop tanning when your skin reaches the approximate color, texture, and temperature of an overcooked hot dog. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/103 "2010-12-22T01:40:35Z")
And stop plucking before you look like Lucille Ball. Just the unibrow - that’s all that guys have to take care of, eyebrow-wise. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/104 "2010-12-22T03:12:56Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Dear Douchebags: Please stop tanning when your skin reaches the approximate color, texture, and temperature of an overcooked hot dog. …or [Boehner](http://cdn.crooksandliars.com/files/uploads/2010/07/boehner_de9b5_0.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/105 "2010-12-22T03:50:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > While I can’t argue with the people who have experience with this sort of situation not working out, I 100% cannot understand why people are throwing out the label of “crazy.” Nothing about this encounter reads like any mental disorder. If anything, it reads like a woman who is better off psychologically, since she’s actually in touch with how she feels, and has the psychologcal insight to actually share that with someone she is trying to be in a relationship with. > > But it seems that most people’s definition of crazy is “thinks differently than me”. That’s just cultural bigotry, and I find that very, very shameful. The problem is how she “feels” seems bizarre and erratic. > [@Sleeps With Butterflies](#): > > I barely KNOW you after three dates, I’m sure as hell not going to sleep with you. Why? You should know right away if you are sexually attracted to someone. Three dates is plenty to prove you aren’t a slut. This much drama after two dates? Kick her to the curb and move on. It’s not like NYC has a shortage of desperate women. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/106 "2010-12-22T04:09:44Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Why? You should know right away if you are sexually attracted to someone. Three dates is plenty to prove you aren’t a slut. Not all women refrain from having sex with people they don’t know well simply to avoid being called sluts. Some of them do it because they don’t want to have sex with people they don’t know well. Some men actually feel the same way. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/107 "2011-01-06T06:59:25Z")
Oh boy… okay, so I haven’t seen Amy since the last time. We’ve SORT of kept in touch, but nothing like before. She’s planning on moving in with her cousin who lives in Staten Island, so is going to be in NYC for a little longer, but unless she manages to find a real job, her time here is numbered (and the next step is getting banished to her dad’s house in Maine). She still hasn’t squeezed any pennies out of me. However, she did tell me the other day that her guy in San Francisco (uh, what’s his name? This was 3 pages ago…you know who I mean) just announced that he’s getting married to some girl she’s never heard of, and she’s been going through some mourning and moping. Being the certified AS that I am, I’m not sure if she’s rejecting me, or inviting me to spend the whole weekend in her bed, but she basically said she plans to spend the whole weekend in her bed with the door locked, and when I said I wanted to try to do something to brighten up her weekend, she said “that was the point of mentioning that :)” … and then quickly proceeded to do a “hey, speaking of bed, it’s time to sleep” and got offline before I could clarify what she meant. Help? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/108 "2011-01-06T08:00:28Z")
Ignore her because she’s nothing but trouble? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/109 "2011-01-06T09:51:11Z")
The whole “with the door locked” made my spidey-sense tingle. Don’t do it unless you like waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a missing kidney. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/110 "2011-01-06T11:22:43Z")
Engage in a weekend of hot, kinky, sex at your own peril. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/111 "2011-01-06T13:33:24Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Ignore her because she’s nothing but trouble? QFT ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/112 "2011-01-06T13:53:10Z")
OK, OK, OK, OK. We have to be careful here, **fusoya** , because this is a delicate situation. Exactly how hot is this girl? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/113 "2011-01-06T14:21:49Z")
What’s a certified AS? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/114 "2011-01-06T14:28:14Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What’s a certified AS? WAG: AS = Asperger’s syndrome, since he mentioned difficulty in reading her intent. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/115 "2011-01-06T15:23:23Z")
It sounds to me like she’s still trying to rope you in by making suggestive comments to you. I will reiterate what others have already said… Stay away from her and , “Don’t stick your dick in the crazy”. (BTW, I thought the first axiom of the SDMB was, “Don’t be a jerk.”) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/116 "2011-01-06T15:50:10Z")
Notice how, as she gets more desperate to reel you in, Offsite Rival is conveniently removed from the picture. My guess is that if your repsonses had been different, Offsite Rival would have stuck around so you could save her from him. As for the quick sign off, what that meant is that another mark she was chatting with at the same time required her undivided attention. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/117 "2011-01-06T15:56:02Z")
> [@fusoya](#): > > We’ve SORT of kept in touch, but nothing like before… > > She still hasn’t squeezed any pennies out of me… > > …and when I said I wanted to try to do something to brighten up her weekend… > > Help? You want help? What part of “run the other direction” did you miss the first time around? I’m finding it difficult to have sympathy for your situation at this point since you’re voluntarily lingering in it. You aren’t taking the potential impact on yourself seriously, it seems to me, so I’m not sure how anyone else could. One last time: walk away. “Walk away” does not mean, “Hang around and see if she presents herself as more normal at some point,” nor does it mean, “Hang around and see if I can get laid before the situation blows up in my face.” It means WALK AWAY. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/118 "2011-01-06T16:11:30Z")
She’s looking for rebound sex. There’s nothing wrong with grabbing some of that as long as you understand going in that that’s all it’s going to be. She sounds like the type that will be really dramatc about, though, and spend the weekend talking about how she’s finally found true love, then start dating somebody else on monday. You have a window here to get some casual tail, but don’t do it unless you can emotionally detach from it, don’t expect it to be anything more and don’t believe anything she tells you in the moment. If you’re still hoping for anything more than sex, it’s probably best just to stay away completely. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/119 "2011-01-06T16:20:59Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Why? You should know right away if you are sexually attracted to someone. Three dates is plenty to prove you aren’t a slut. What on earth are you on about? Who said anything about proving one isn’t a slut? Are you incapable of having sex with anyone you happen to find sexually attractive? Of course I know I already find them attractive. I wouldn’t have gone on a date if I didn’t. You should perhaps try to not put your own feelings about sex into everyone else’s intentions. I know this might be hard to accept, but not everyone conducts themselves exactly as you do. > [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > Not all women refrain from having sex with people they don’t know well simply to avoid being called sluts. Some of them do it because they don’t want to have sex with people they don’t know well. Some men actually feel the same way. Precisely. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412/120 "2011-01-06T20:17:29Z")
Have the hot sex if you’ve got nerves of steel, you don’t pick her up anywhere, don’t buy her dinner and you DO look at the house she’s staying on Google maps (streetview) first. Don’t have the hot sex if you can’t put aside your emotions for it or are afraid she can reel you in. Obviously though, if I were you, I wouldn’t stick my dick in the crazy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-dates-then-the-talk-now-what/564412.md?page=7)