# 2 sentence horror stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 26, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639 "2013-07-26T23:44:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/201 "2013-08-01T06:46:05Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > “That roast smells amazing,” he said to his wife as he was greeted by the aroma as he entered the house after a day at work, but she was too busy cooking to respond. Walking past the baby’s room, he chuckled at the comical sight of a turkey in the cot. I actually LOL’d at that. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/202 "2013-08-01T08:08:20Z")
> [@simster](#): > > You take that back ! You take that back now! Hey, with a good script he could be [FOD](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_object_damage) ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/203 "2013-08-01T14:00:40Z")
> [@wellanuff](#): > > With his ex-wife angrily hectoring him on the phone, “Why isn’t she at daycare? She should have been there hours ago! Where did you take her?” he shook off his initial confusion and realized with sudden and momentary relief that his daughter must of course still be safely strapped in the carseat in the back of his car. As if seeking visual confirmation, he glanced out at the shimmering asphalt parking lot, his car sparkling in the noonday sun. Thread winner. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/204 "2013-08-02T15:11:41Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > Thread winner. Agreed, that was horrifying. The ones that can actually happen are way worse than the zombie stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/205 "2013-08-02T15:55:34Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Another classic: > "Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.” > > Gives me the creeps every time I read it. I always thought it would make a nice real-estate ad. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/206 "2013-08-02T16:49:36Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I always thought it would make a nice real-estate ad. 😃 There’s an apartment building named “Hill House” on Capitol Hill. If they ever use that quote in their ads, I’m moving there. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/207 "2013-08-02T16:57:40Z")
Lest you think I’m kidding - [http://www.borgermanagementinc.com/hill-house/](http://www.borgermanagementinc.com/hill-house/) . It actually looks quite nice. Great location - the units themselves are a trifle grim, but that’s not inappropriate, given the name. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/208 "2013-08-02T19:17:53Z")
(Adapted from one of my favorite jokes, once upon a time.) As before, George wondered how the prostitute could sing and perform fellatio at the same time. Then the lightning flashed outside, and he saw the glass eyeball on the table. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/209 "2013-08-02T19:43:02Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > (Adapted from one of my favorite jokes, once upon a time.) > > As before, George wondered how the prostitute could sing and perform fellatio at the same time. Then the lightning flashed outside, and he saw the glass eyeball on the table. {perfect! :eek: 😃 } He knew at that moment that the resonant qualities of her skull must perfect and that he must have it. He must have her skull. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/210 "2013-08-02T19:57:34Z")
At long last, the network television executive had reached the pinnacle of his career and was tasked with filling a dozen or so 1 hour time slots with shows of his choice. Lets see, he wondered, how many ways can I have people with medium to no talent constantly arguing with each other while getting eliminated from the show and the announcer pausing for 10 to 15 seconds between each announcement just to build the tension. iiiiieeeeeeeee… ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/211 "2013-08-02T20:04:45Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Lest you think I’m kidding - [http://www.borgermanagementinc.com/hill-house/](http://www.borgermanagementinc.com/hill-house/) . It actually looks quite nice. Great location - the units themselves are a trifle grim, but that’s not inappropriate, given the name. :eek: 😃 Obviously, the owner is not a literary sort. \*\*Or is s/he? \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/212 "2013-08-02T22:39:22Z")
You know that strange taste you sometimes get in your mouth when you wake up? Raw spider. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/214 "2013-08-05T03:08:06Z")
Most spiders are relatively harmless to humans. Most. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/215 "2013-08-05T03:12:45Z")
The Sharknado was approaching from the east. From the west came the jellyfish tsunami. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/216 "2013-08-05T14:52:41Z")
I chose bachelor #2. Out walked O.J. Simpson I chose bachelorette #2. Out walked Lorena Bobbit. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/217 "2013-08-05T20:14:43Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Man has only ventured into the icy waters of that Stygian abyss, has only disturbed the eternal darkness of those soul-crushing depths, but once. For twenty minutes. OK, someone please explain. I had laughed and said “Good one, Bro!” when he asked me if I’d heard the one about the cannibal who passed his brother on the trial. It wasn’t until I shouldered my backpack that I began to doubt whether he really should have been released. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/218 "2013-08-05T20:25:04Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > OK, someone please explain. > . Board meme. Read, and enjoy. [Not many people know that... - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=283407) ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/219 "2013-08-06T04:12:31Z")
His warm eyes crinkled as he smiled happily at me and said, “I’m so glad you’re here at last.” Then, still smiling, he glanced over my shoulder and nodded – and I felt the cold lips on the back of my neck. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/220 "2013-08-06T04:19:28Z")
He was giving the bedroom a long-needed spring cleaning when he found the cellar key, long missing, fallen behind a chest of drawers. Later that morning he opened the door for the first time in years, and even as he stood frozen – staring at the tumbled shape on the floor below, recognizing her hair and her clothes, and the wedding ring he had given her on its skeletal finger – he heard his wife behind him saying, “What are you doing?” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639/221 "2013-08-06T04:49:05Z")
> [@MacSpon](#): > > He was giving the bedroom a long-needed spring cleaning when he found the cellar key, long missing, fallen behind a chest of drawers. Later that morning he opened the door for the first time in years, and even as he stood frozen – staring at the tumbled shape on the floor below, recognizing her hair and her clothes, and the wedding ring he had given her on its skeletal finger – he heard his wife behind him saying, “What are you doing?” Nice - [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2-sentence-horror-stories/664639.md?page=12)