# 20 minutes and you’re finished with your prostitute already? Why not just masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724 "2010-07-23T15:50:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Polly\_Glot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Polly\_Glot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polly_Glot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/21 "2010-07-23T18:56:27Z")
Would the typical hotel not be suspicious of an unknown/unregistered man hanging out for umpteen minutes in the middle of the night in the hallway outside of a guest’s door??? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/22 "2010-07-23T19:01:53Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Is it common in America that people can just go into hotels during the night, and go to any room they please? I’ve stayed in 5 hotels in the past year, from a sleepy resort community to midtown Manhattan. In one of those places you had to get buzzed in by the security guard. In another, you had to use your room key to get into the lobby, but that was only after hours. In one you had to walk past a security guard but he never asked to see any kind of ID. And in one, you didn’t even need to get into the lobby, as the room doors were on the outside of the building. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/23 "2010-07-23T19:10:34Z")
I can’t imagine ever paying for sex anyway, but if I were that desperate I’d sure as hell want more than 20 minutes for my money. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/24 "2010-07-23T19:14:41Z")
What’s the point of the “prostitute phone call” at 3 AM? Isn’t the man going to arrive with the prostitute in any event?q ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/25 "2010-07-23T19:44:44Z")
> [@Polly\_Glot](#): > > Would the typical hotel not be suspicious of an unknown/unregistered man hanging out for umpteen minutes in the middle of the night in the hallway outside of a guest’s door??? Um, the hotel knows what he’s there for. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/26 "2010-07-23T19:55:04Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Do you know how long it takes me to prepare Thanksgiving dinner? Well, I know that I definitely don’t want to try the green bean casserole. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/27 "2010-07-23T20:10:52Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I hear having sex with an actual person, however briefly, is more enjoyable than having sex with your hand. You may hear, but I offer you the counter-argument that a good hand-job can beat all hell out of someone who thinks ejaculation is the same as having had a good time, and expects you to finish in about two minutes from penetration. Not that I am in the unfortunate position of having anything in my own sex life to complain about, you understand. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/28 "2010-07-23T22:21:09Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > What’s the point of the “prostitute phone call” at 3 AM? Isn’t the man going to arrive with the prostitute in any event?q I’m guessing that it is not uncommon to book a prostitute then get “cold feet”- call her, agree on a hotel, drive to the hotel, sit in the hotel parking lot change your mind and go home. Also, I’ve no doubt that a one time or another someone has tried to “prank” a prostitute by simply not being there, or tried to prank a person known to be staying at a particular hotel by sending that person an unexpected prostitute. And I am sure there has been an occasion or two when the guy calls and says “Yeah, I’m in Room 314” when he’s actually in 304. The pre-call from the prostitute verifies that the guy is there, verifies the room number, and when she is connected to the room she can verify that the guy answering is the guy who actually booked her and not some poor sap getting punked. > [@bucketybuck](#): > > Is it common in America that people can just go into hotels during the night, and go to any room they please? Every hotel where I’ve worked the main lobby door has been locked for about five hours every night. The locked door is accessible with any room key. I can also unlock the door from a remote unlock button at the front desk. If I am not there or don’t see them approaching, the guest will use their key, anyone without a key will ring the bell or knock. When I am there and see them approaching, as long as they don’t look suspicious I will unlock the door as they approach it. Guests prefer this because they usually don’t have their key ready and don’t think to look for it until they hit the locked door. Non-guests who know where they’re going are free to go where they need to be. If they don’t know where they’re going they stop to ask. If they ask for a guest only by name but don’t know the room number, I tell them that I can not give out the room number but if they pick up the house phone I can connect them to the guest and they can ask the guest the room number. > [@Polly\_Glot](#): > > Would the typical hotel not be suspicious of an unknown/unregistered man hanging out for umpteen minutes in the middle of the night in the hallway outside of a guest’s door??? **Zsofia** covered this, but just to address it myself: There is nothing to be suspicious of. I know exactly why he’s there and what he’s doing. Nothing suspicious at all. > [@billfish678](#): > > > [@bienville](#): > > > > Never have I assessed a woman as being a prostitute based on how she looked. Never has a woman assessed by me as being a prostitute ever looked, in her physical appearance and presentation, suspiciously like she might be a prostitute. > > You must not drive around much. Or live in Mayberry. I have, while driving around, assessed a woman as being a prostitute just from the sight of her- plenty of times. When I said “never have I assessed a woman as being a prostitute based on how she looked” I was speaking only about prostitutes that have come to the hotel. > [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > I’m guessing foreplay and cuddling aren’t the goals of most men that hire a pro. And of course, I’m sure the cost becomes higher the longer it takes. Foreplay is just more sexual activity and sexual activity is FUN! YES: If you have a regular sexual partner, I can understand that for the times when you just want to ejaculate you may think to yourself, “Well, since I _do_ have a partner _right here_ I may as well get some use outta the ol’ bucket of bolts” then proceed with a sex act that includes no foreplay. BUT: **If you go through the logistics and expense of securing yourself a sex partner when otherwise you’d be without a sex partner, I say make the most of it!** Again, this woman was FAR more beautiful than anyone could hope their prostitute might be. With this woman I would take in a considerable about of sexual enjoyment _just using my eyes_ before we even get into the realm of sexual enjoyment using my hands and mouth, long before creating a situation that puts me in danger of ejaculation. > [@ZipperJJ](#): > > What makes you think that the guy _meant_ to be done in 20 minutes? Although I’ll agree that most aren’t looking for cuddling with a prostitute, there is something to be said for _post_-play. Again, it’s more sexual activity and sexual activity is FUN. Another benefit of _post_-play: Based on **Sage Rat** ’s Hooker Math, a 20 minute visit translates to only 10 minutes or maybe just 5 minutes of sex. This guy was pretty young, thirty tops. The necessary Refractory Period for a guy this age isn’t all that long. If the guy ejaculated in five minutes, with 30minutes of post-play he could have been hard again and had a second go of it before the hour was out. **Jackknifed Juggernaut** ’s other point was the cost. Again, as mentioned in the OP, if all you can afford is 20 minutes IMHO you should just admit to yourself that it ain’t in the cards for you right now. Hire a prostitute when you can afford to make the most of the experience. > [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Most people who see a prostitute do so for the “thrill of the hunt” more than ejaculation, chat, or whatever. You were able to buy a woman, you were able to screw her, you are man. Roar. Yeah, I guess **Sage Rat** ’s got it right. typo ---
**Author:** ![Polly\_Glot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Polly\_Glot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polly_Glot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/29 "2010-07-23T22:53:53Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Um, the hotel knows what he’s there for. Yes yes, I understand that; I just don’t get the concept that non-guests, or even putative friends of friends of guests, are allowed to camp out indefinitely (20 minutes to an hour or ???) in the corridors. If a particular hooker is booked for an overnight (and I understand that they are from time to time), is it such a stretch to think that it’s not okay for hotel management to let “security” loiter outside the guest’s door all night? Is “security” allowed to set up a cot and portable DVD player or something? ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/30 "2010-07-23T23:03:36Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > [li] A late night incoming phone call, a woman asks to be connected to Room # such and such. I tell her I need her to tell me the guest’s name before I can connect the call. She tells me the name, the name matches the room number she had given me, I connect the call.[/li]- what she is doing here: She wants to verify before coming out that the John is there _and is registered_ and that the room to which he is registered matches the room number he gave her. She knows that at 3am I am not going to connect a call to a room unless the caller asks for the guest by name (people often call thinking they have the right room number but are wrong, sometimes even calling the wrong hotel). She asks for the room number because she knows I’ll ask the guest’s name- she can’t first ask for the guest by name then ask the room number, she knows I won’t give out a guest’s room number. Asking for the room number prompting me to ask her the guest’s name is how she gets both items of information connected and verified. Out of curiosity, would you falsify the connection if it wasn’t correct at this stage, and if so how? “There may be some sort of mistake - we do have a John Jones registered at the hotel, and I can connect you to his room, but as a point of information, he is not in room 142. No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you the correct room number.” ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/31 "2010-07-23T23:24:32Z")
> [@Polly\_Glot](#): > > Yes yes, I understand that; I just don’t get the concept that non-guests, or even putative friends of friends of guests, are allowed to camp out indefinitely (20 minutes to an hour or ???) in the corridors. > > If a particular hooker is booked for an overnight (and I understand that they are from time to time), is it such a stretch to think that it’s not okay for hotel management to let “security” loiter outside the guest’s door all night? Is “security” allowed to set up a cot and portable DVD player or something? You can achieve quite a lot in this world if you are polite, don’t draw attention to yourself, and if your goal requires no effort on the part of someone else. These guys are always so mild mannered and polite, sometimes I wonder if they could actually bring themselves to knock heads should their security every be called upon. > [@chrisk](#): > > Out of curiosity, would you falsify the connection if it wasn’t correct at this stage, and if so how? “There may be some sort of mistake - we do have a John Jones registered at the hotel, and I can connect you to his room, but as a point of information, he is not in room 142. No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you the correct room number.” If we have the guest registered I would connect the call to the correct room but wouldn’t say anything about whether or not the room number was correct (I don’t say anything about whether or not the room number is correct when it _is_ correct either). Yeah, I supposed there is a chance if she asks for 304 and he’s really in 314 that he’ll confirm the wrong room # and she’ll knock on the wrong door. But, as the prostitutes do seem quite concerned with idiot-proofing these encounters, I figure once connected to the guest they’ll say “Hey! Look at your phone. What ROOM NUMBER IS ON IT???” Although I couldn’t say for any prostitute phone calls I’ve received _without knowing them to be_ prostitute phone calls, but everytime I’ve suspected it was a prostitute call it has just so happened that she had all of the info correct. In fact, even non-prostitutes usually have all the info correct. Still if they only ask for the room by number I can’t connect them without getting a name. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/32 "2010-07-24T01:01:37Z")
I’d imagine the scale may be per act, not by the hour. But I only know that from movies. ---
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/33 "2010-07-24T01:07:17Z")
Maybe she just robbed him and left. That would take 20 minutes or less. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/34 "2010-07-24T01:08:05Z")
I would think that 20 minutes with a hooker in preference to choking the chicken just makes you feel less like a wanker. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/35 "2010-07-24T01:50:29Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I hear having sex with an actual person, however briefly, is more enjoyable than having sex with your hand. But hundreds of dollars better? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/36 "2010-07-24T02:13:46Z")
They fooled you. That attractive, well-dressed woman and her male companion were actually drug couriers, on their way to conduct a million dollar dealer with the mope in the room. While the male companion was guarding the door, the woman was in the room peeling off bag after bag of 99.5% pure heroin taped to her body. After the mope did a quick quality check, he gave the woman large stacks of cash, which she again concealed under her clothes, exited the hotel with her bodyguard and left you at the front desk, smirking with the thought that you had just seen another hooker on the job. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/37 "2010-07-24T02:29:04Z")
I actually thought “drug deal” too, though I imagine some men might only bother with 20 minutes with a prostitute. Maybe he’d been drinking and couldn’t keep it up anyways? I’m laughing a little at the realization that when my husband travels on business trips, and he tends to work odd shifts, when I call him at 3am the front desk employee might think I’m a prostitute! ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/38 "2010-07-24T03:10:13Z")
In most studies I’ve seen on the subject the average male only lasts about 5 minutes before ejaculating during sexual intercourse. I’m sure every guy here can stack rock hard for an hour no problem, of course. Perhaps those poor test subjects couldn’t focus around those sexy, sexy lab assistants. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/39 "2010-07-24T03:16:46Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > But hundreds of dollars better? On one hand, I’m a cheap fuck, but – wait, let’s start over. To me, no, but for the kind of person willing to hire a prostitute, I’d imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724/40 "2010-07-24T04:38:11Z")
Maybe your hotel beds are just really shitty. Bet you didn’t think of _that_, smart guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-minutes-and-you-re-finished-with-your-prostitute-already-why-not-just-masturbate/547724.md?page=3)