# 20 Ways to Make Your Moderator Notice You. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521 "2001-02-15T00:09:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/1 "2001-02-15T00:09:47Z")
This thread is for all the SDMB’ers out there who may need a few pointers on how to get the moderators to notice them. Please add any more ideas that you may think of to this list as needed. 1. \*\*E-mail them often. \*\* Not just occasionally, but hourly. Mods LOVE e-mail. They wait at their PC’s with their fingers poised over the mouse wishing for more e-mails from dopers. Ask them lots of seemingly unimportant questions like, “Is it ok if I swear in the pit?”, or “May I log off now?” No question is too small for the mods. They absolutely love them. 2. \*\*Change your username every other day. \*\* This is a sure fire way to get a Mod to notice you. Creativity is heavily stressed at this board, and the staff get a big kick out of reading all the new clever usernames. Make sure to use usernames that have strange characters like “pi” or “infinity” symbols contained in them. The longer and more ambiguous the username, the better. 3. \*\*Post copyrighted material. \*\* Just copy and paste it straight into a new thread. Mods enjoy livening up threads by scolding a poster over a copyright infringement. It shows that they are doing their jobs. 4. \*\*POST IN ALL CAPITALS. \*\* Nothing gets your message across better than shouting. Some of the older moderators don’t see that well anymore, so it never hurts to be more visible. 5. \*\*Post in the wrong forum. \*\* One of the moderators’ favorite pastimes is moving threads. They take immense pleasure in bouncing threads from forum to forum. The mods make a game out of it and see who can move the most threads in the shortest period of time. It’s a real hoot. Then they get to add to their “Moved Threads” list. Mods love to post to their own threads. 6. \*\*Never, ever include a link or the source of your information. \*\* This gives a mod the chance to research the information in your thread, and either support or disprove it. They really don’t have other jobs, or for that matter, anything else to do other than what they do here at the SDMB, so they relish every opportunity to do research and post the results. 7. \*\*Use personal attacks at every opportunity. \*\* Moderators enjoy it when you get personal and call them names. I makes them feel like they are part of the board. 8. \*\*Have a post count party every time your post count ends with a “0”. \*\* Mods just love a good party. Euty would certainly show up and wish you many more splendid posts. 9. \*\*Open numerous flirt threads. \*\* No one flirts like a moderator. That’s how they become moderators. 10. \*\*Spam the board with links to your band or business. \*\* Hey if Cecil can sell mugs and t-shirts, why can’t you make a buck or two here as well? But don’t forget to disguise the subject line to make it appear to be a legitimate thread. Mods are thrilled by displays of trickery and misguided thread titles simply make their day. 11. **Post links to porn.** Most moderators have vast collections and like to swap videos and pictures. Just ask them. You know which ones. 12. \*\*Argue with them constantly. \*\* If the mods says white, say black. If a mod says to quit doing something, repeat doing it. As mentioned, they love to post, and repeating themselves just gives them more opportunities to post. 13. \*\*Misspell their names. \*\* They practically orgasm when you do that. 14. **Sc** re **w up th** e vB c\*\*ode. \*\* Mods need to keep fixing these codes to keep their vB skills razor sharp. 15. \*\*Always quote the entire post. \*\* Or even quote the whole thread. Why scroll when it’s there to read again and again… and again. If these folks didn’t like to read, they wouldn’t moderate here in the first place now, would they? 16. \*\*Never search out existing threads that deal with your subject. \*\* Even if the same topic appears at the top of that particular page, go ahead and post it because it may not be worded exactly the same. Individuality is key. 17. \*\*Plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize. \*\* If a thread was good enough to read, it’s good enough to steal and call your own. Especially if it was written by a mod. Imitation is the finest form of flattery. 18. \*\*Spelling doesn’t count. \*\* Or for added mod enjoyment, use the wrong word completely. It keeps them on their toes. ‘Nuff said hear. 19. \*\*Use slander. \*\* It prompts them to e-mail other mods. (See #1.) 20. \*\*Hot chick/guy links & free beer. \*\* The ultimate mod attention getters. Use them at all costs. ```auto **Note: Satirical post. Do not do any of these things or they will come to your house and beat you silly. Really.** :) ``` Thanks to Silly Rabbit and Coldfire for their help. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/2 "2001-02-15T00:15:05Z")
\*\*21. Put the word ‘Moderator’ in the subject of a new thread you are starting. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/3 "2001-02-15T00:16:23Z")
Send him a [Poofy!](http://www.poofnspray.homestead.com/) If you have no Poofy, I know a certain mod just loves Hello Kitty e-cards, available from Yahoo Greetings. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/4 "2001-02-15T00:18:29Z")
**22. Cross post your thread to every forum.** Otherwise the right people might not see it. And, horror of horrors, this might include your favorite moderator. So make sure to cover your bases. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/5 "2001-02-15T00:35:55Z")
**23. Fake a moderators approval in your disclaimer.** [sub]OK, he _did_ ask if it was OK[/sub] 😉 Funny stuff, **smug**. The election for SDMB Court Jester is next month. I’m putting my money on you, matey. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/6 "2001-02-15T00:46:44Z")
Oh wait, these are supposed to be humorous, fictional rules. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/7 "2001-02-15T00:49:08Z")
**24.** Offer them _real_ sex, not just porn links. [sub]do not, I repeat, do NOT ask me how I know this. :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/8 "2001-02-15T02:32:10Z")
**26. Make repeated requests to edit the thread title.** [sup]Psssst. Euty, Coldie, UncleBeer… could you remove the “20” from this thread title please?[/sup] They really grow to like posters they help over and over again. It helps build a bond between poster and mod. [sup]While you’re at it, fix Persephone’s number to read “25” ok?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/9 "2001-02-15T02:50:31Z")
15b. When debating always quote the entire post line by line with your rebuttal interspersed between the quoted sections. Not only does this improve the chances for screwed up vB code (#14), but allows the moderators a chance to sharpen their eyesight by making the post almost impossible to read. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/10 "2001-02-15T02:58:02Z")
**27. Post the same topic in every thread.** Similar to #5 above, but it’s important to keep _all_ the mods informed about even the most trivial of your thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/11 "2001-02-15T03:37:56Z")
Damn, **smug** , when I opened this thread, I fully expected a song parody of “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.” I am crestfallen. ---
**Author:** ![Omniman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bcef8e/32.png) [@Omniman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniman)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/12 "2001-02-15T03:38:24Z")
**28. Style your balding head in a combover.** That makes everyone stare 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/13 "2001-02-15T04:04:04Z")
**29. Flash them** Well they will notice you, won’t they! ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/14 "2001-02-15T04:13:48Z")
**33. Accuracy (such as list numbers) doesn’t matter**, you can get the moderators to edit things for you afterwards. They love that, it makes them feel needed. ---
**Author:** ![DonQuixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@DonQuixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonQuixote)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/15 "2001-02-15T04:33:45Z")
Hey KJ, what on earth happened to 30, 31, and 32? I want to post another tip, but I’m not sure whether to call it 29 or 34. Sweet Lord, I think I’m gonna cry…someone help. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/16 "2001-02-15T04:39:16Z")
**30. Open a thread announcing you’re leaving, then stick around for a couple days afterwards just to confuse the hell out of everyone.** [sub] I really am leaving! I thought I’d have my tax return by now and therefore a home PC by now and therefore can work on my novel! It’s not me, it’s the government’s fault! Blame the IRS![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/17 "2001-02-15T05:34:22Z")
**31. Ask about joining the board’s multiple user name program.** It’s a popular program and they love to sign up new members. **32. Be sure to let them know if you’re upset.** It’s their job to make sure no one here is offended. So be sure to post and email them if you read anything here that could possibly be construed as offensive to you, another poster, or any real or hypothetical person or group. Threaten legal action to let them know you’re serious. **33. Push the envelope.** Moderators get bored with the day to day routine. Challenge them with new problems. Try to screw up the UB code. See if you can crash the board with hyperlinks. Mess with the graphics. They’ll never find about the weakspots in the board unless someone points them out. **34. Stand up for your rights.** Just because this is a free service owned by a private business, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a say in how it’s run. Assert yourself whenever you disagree with the managment and tell them how you think a board should be run. Remember to assert your legal rights. **35. Tell them Jesus sent you. Repeatedly.** ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/18 "2001-02-15T09:57:22Z")
**36 : Tell them Satan sent you. Repeatedly.** ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/19 "2001-02-15T10:00:48Z")
**37. Urinate on their shoes** oh sorry Euty I didn’t notice you standing there… ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521/20 "2001-02-15T11:51:30Z")
38: Get drunk and post a moronic thread titled “Trust the CGI.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/20-ways-to-make-your-moderator-notice-you/54521.md?page=2)