Missed that in the cross-posting - you want I should send someone big and (half-)Italian over to have a “talk” with your brother-in-law? (OK, so my husband isn’t in the “Outfit”, but it feels nice to think about that sometimes.)
Jesus, what an asshole. I bet he’s the kind of asshole who will get defensive when he’s called on his insensitivity. “What’d I say? Why does Biblio have to be so touchy?” I’m sorry you had to put up with that.
A subset of this kind of assholery is my sister-in-law, who does not register anything that doesn’t happen to her personally, which means you’re WRONG! even when you’re expressing an opinion or sharing your experience. For example, I started an online master’s program this year, and she’s been going through one at a different college. The two programs are completely different in their focus and operations, yet I know that if I shared anything about mine, I can’t possibly know anything about online educational programs because it’s not like hers. She’s just a malignant cunt, and thank Og she decided to inflict herself on her in-laws, so it’s been a relatively quiet Christmas.
No ham and dog fiasco this year.
The dog was here again.
Mother did buy a lot of the wrong food that I had to mostly replace on Wednesday when I found what she bought when I was cleaning and organizing. She knows what to get but she constantly picks up something next to what she intends to buy. This year there was a lot of wrong stuff. The store was a horror for me as I can’t be in a crowds without problems in short order, and it was about 5:00 PM instead of store opening when I normally shop. To make things better the products were out, and I found some of them by searching the whole of two stores looking on shelves for strays that were dumped.
We had some petty drama, and I won’t go into that as it was as interesting as watching golf. I ignored it as I didn’t have to be involved.
I have no clue. He mentioned that she said all that after a phone conversation. He knows that it’s not true (I’m the oldest, most responsible, have my own job, and feel guilty if I ever borrow people money…so he would know that I would’ve never expected him to buy the gift for me in a million years.) My aunt’s a helicopter aunt, I think she’s trying to be the mom I never had, and she’d definitely get on my brother’s case (which he could actually use and deserves this time) if she had known about all the drama of him from the get go so my dad wanted to bypass that altogether, it seems.
If I asked my dad he would just explode, yeah. He’s the opposite of sympathetic. Even in cases where he understands why I’m mad, he’ll never sympathize. He probably didn’t even defend me during my aunt’s stupid insinuation. 
Thanks. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, as well. In my experience, if she qualifies for a medvan to get her to dialysis, they should come in the house and get her, if she’s unable to walk. Check into that. Some drivers are lazy and just want to make it easier on themselves.
Yes, please.
Oh, so you know him? 
Yep, he’s exactly like that.
Half my family is on the west coast, half is on the east coast and I’m in central Iowa. Husband’s parents are dead and he is estranged from his much-older siblings. The perfect recipe for no drama.
Let’s see…things went well for the most part except when my eighteen year old stepson had a few shots of tequila and showed off his potty-mouth in front of my mom and grandmother. All my relatives were offended, but said nothing.
Then as Mom was leaving, she asked if my kids wanted to come home with her for a few days. The girl said yes, the boy said no. Mom went into Extreme Guilt Trip mode on the boy, I stepped in, Mom took it…emotionally. It kind of left a big dark shadow over things. (Lest you think I was too mean, one reason Mom wanted the boy was so she could stick him with the sole care of his young female cousins, and he had already done that at Thanksgiving).
I had the usual brush-up with my dad … he loves to yell at my three year old for being a three year old while I’m standing right there trying to get things under control. And then when I tell Dad to back off because I’m standing right there and handling it just fine without him and all he’s doing is make the kid cry, I get the “don’t you disrespect me/talk to me in that tone of voice in my house!” speech, and he gets the “don’t you disrespect/talk to my son in that tone of voice no matter WHERE we are!” response from me. And this time, Dad’s GF tried to jump in on his side, saying something like “the other little kids he’s around just don’t act like that [!!!]/there’s a matter of different parenting styles, you know” and I respond with “what the hell other kids does he ever even see? and BTW I’M the parent, not him!” and went outside.
And then it all “blew over”, meaning that he came down stairs after comforting his GF and said “let’s open presents!” like nothing ever happened.
It’s so interesting how social convention varies from family to family. I think I’ve said ‘‘fuck’’ twenty times today in front of my in-laws, and nobody batted an eyelash.
All drama all the time, here. My mother-in-law and aunt have been visiting us from Australia since 11/22. Yes, that’s November 22nd. My husband and two sons (3 & 6) live in a two bedroom/two bath apartment. We moved our boys into our room and gave the ILs their room. I cleared out the boys’ closet so they had room for their stuff. My husband has taken them on sightseeing trips to NYC (for a Broadway show, an opera at the Met, and museum tours), and DC (for tours of the White House, Arlington Cemetery and the Capitol). I’ve taken them to all the local stuff and taken them shopping. They joined us for family Christmas dinners, Christmas parties with friends, and all my older son’s activities. We took them to Williamsburg. I’ve made dinner for them every night, being sure to accommodate their dietary needs. We selected tasteful, lovely gifts for them for Christmas. My husband has twice had to get down on his knees and cut his aunt’s toe nails for her.
My mother-in-law has been fine. My husband’s aunt is a royal fucking bitch. She has moaned and complained the entire time she’s been here. She’s a complete homophobe and racist. One of the first questions she asked me is if Black people are “acting better than they oughta” since Obama’s been in office. I can’t even list all the horrible comments she’s made. She told my husband he needed to get a life and get some friends, since he spends so much time at home with his family. She yells at my kids, told my little guy he was “too damn loud”, and tells us how we should discipline our kids. She told my husband that we must have a horrible marriage because we “never talk” (HTF would she know!). She denigrates everything American and chastised my husband for “becoming one of them.” After she spent the day with my family, during which my parents waited on her hand and foot and went way out of their way to make them feel welcome, she complained that they were “dull”. After spending a half hour bitching to my husband (this was the state of marriage incident), she got pissed because he told her she didn’t know what she was talking about. She stomped out of here saying she was going for a walk. Two hours (!) later, I made him go looking for her because she’s an elderly woman in an unfamiliar place…he relented, found her walking, and brought her home. She yelled at me for thinking she might be lost and sending him to go find her.
This morning, she threw up. She says it’s because of the food I’ve been serving her for the last six weeks.
They leave Monday. I’m considering taking the kids and staying with my parents for the remainder of their visit.
Oh wow, this sounds remarkably similar to what happened at our Xmas Eve gathering. Just substitute “my autistic 14-year-old” and you have the same story. My dad acts like a psychotic around my daughter, which upsets her greatly, causing her to have a meltdown which is no small thing for a girl that age. Then when he’s told to stop it just gets worse. He really thinks it’s ok to “discipline” my daughter when I am right there. And there is no reasoning with him because he is crazy.
And to make matters worse my cousin was there for the whole episode. It’s one thing when he acts like that in front of our immediate family, because we’re used to it, but it’s mortifying when it happens in front of others.
Christmas (just today) with husband’s son, son’s girlfriend, son’s two girls and her three boys was way better than expected. They loved the food (a very basic turkey dinner), the kids loved their gifts (nothing extra special), they said please and thank you without being prodded, there were no fights, I got acquainted with the girlfriend and everyone enjoyed the puppy. I had been dreading the visit but was sorry to see them leave.
I was cranky for a week for no reason. I’m crossing my fingers that they stay together, because judging from this visit anyway, things are working well for them.
Mine was relatively drama free. Apart from me accidentally setting a place at Christmas Eve dinner for my mom, who died in October, and subsequently bursting into tears, Christmas was relatively quiet in the Surly household.
Aw, {{{{Surly}}}} :(.
Golden Retriever (Jellymutt!) helped herself to a pound of See’s chocolates…and lived to counter surf another day, so it’s all good. My spouse was beside herself, though. Wouldn’t take her eyes off the dog for a minute all day Saturday, but we really didn’t want to pay to have her stomach pumped either (she’s gotten into chocolate before and been okay.) Otherwise, drama-free.
Depends how you define drama. My father in law’s girlfriend - she’s been with him longer than I have been with my wife, but nobody will call her “Mom” - was drunk. Really drunk. It made dinner a bit of a screwup.
But, then, she’s always drunk. I only see her 4 times a year or so, but she’s almost always drunk. If we go to her house or vacation house, she’s drunk, and I mean slurring-her-words, confused about simple things drunk. The only time we ever see her that she’s not drunk is if she and my FIL stop by our house on the way somewhere else, and then I’m convinced the only reason she isn’t drunk is that it is illegal to have an open alcohol container in a motor vehicle.
So, semantic question: is it “drama” when it’s EXPECTED? We knew damn well when they invited us to dinner at her house that she’d be loaded and that the day would be messed up, and that dinner would be served hours and hours late and she’d be stumbling around the kitchen in a drunker stupor, and that there’d be no food until 8 PM or later at which point our preschooler would be almost delirious with fatigue. We knew that she’d invite random people from around town to dinner (well, not entirely random; they have to be rich, as much of her life revolves around trying to impress other idle rich people) and that only after they arrived would be find there weren’t enough chairs and places to sit and everyone else would have to scramble to accomodate the unknown new guests. We knew the food would be served cold as she stumbled around grabbing guests and babbling into their faces, the stench of booze and old people medicine rolling off her in palpable waves.
And we were prepared. We steeled ourselves to handle her stupidity. We brought snack food to tide us over. We practiced biting our tongues so we wouldn’t say anything negative about her around my FIL, who, uniquely in the world, sees nothing wrong with her. Frustrating though it is, we see these things as just a part of life now.
So is that “drama”?
Another Christmas miracle.
The stage was all set for some serious drama.
My brother and sister-in-law have been living apart for 2.5 years now, after an exciting and dramatic series of events including multiple affairs, a museum heist, a stint or two in rehab and a felony conviction.
My brother has been living with my Mom all this time but nothing legal has ever been done, they just work out child custody on a weekly basis for their daughter age 13. My nephew went to live with my Mom and brother as soon as he turned 18.
For a while my niece stayed with my SIL during the week and my brother on weekends. My SIL is a head case though and an A&E quality hoarder ( I was actually watching Hoarders last night and thinking the place they showed wasn’t quite as bad as the SIL’s.)
The city condemned the place this summer but they are still in and out all the time although they don’t sleep there. My niece has been staying with a family friend ( and her teacher) pretty consistently on school nights, an arrangement which suits everyone.
So, on Dec 15th my SIL’s social worker stopped by and the SIL and niece were at the condemned house. We really don’t know what happened, my SIL says she wasn’t feeling well and the social worker was being “controlling”.
But my brother got a call the next day from the city informing him if he didn’t take full custody on Friday they would take my niece and put her in a foster home. The social worker gave him some tips on taking custody ( don’t tell the SIL until afterwards, what to say if she called the police, etc).
Saturday AM I got a call from the family friend that cares for my niece, my sister-in-law was telling everyone that my brother had kidnapped his daughter, when she told EVERYONE the story she left out the part about the social worker’s involvement.
I was due to fly home Monday. I was envisioning a drama filled week but miracle of miracles everything was fine. I got to spend more time with my niece than I usually do and we allowed her some supervised visitation with her Mom…the lack of drama was probably due in part to the SIL not being in a mothering mood and being content to hang with one or more of her wierd boyfriends…if she had been in the mood to be with her daughter there would have been screaming fights and possible kidnapping and police involvement.
Another Christmas miracle
My mom died on the 13th. I’m the heir and executor and had to go make arrangements, clean her place out, talk to people about real estate and investments, and have to go back next month for more. Oh, yeah; this is in Arkansas, and I live in the DC area. I had a lot of help, primarily from my lovely wife, but also from my cousins, so no family drama, just not a good time.
If it coulda been a Tennessee Williams play, it’s drama. My vote is yes. Especially if everyone had Southern accents.
I thought the problem with dogs and chocolate was diarrhea. Since we also have a counter-surfing pup, I looked it up. This Ask The Vet site gives guidelines showing what kind and how much chocolate warrant a trip to the vet.
Jesus with a veterinary license could sweep in and tell her the dog will be fine, but she would still stress sigh. Thanks for the link, though!