# 2012 NFL Coaching Carousel **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 2, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191 "2012-01-02T22:46:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/61 "2012-01-12T16:29:44Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Well, no one **here** (why isn’t there a Raider fan on the Dope?). Standards. There generally aren’t many mouth breathing sister fuckers on the Dope. > [@garygnu](#): > > I was babysitting my nephew for my Raider-nut sister- and brother-in-law. Ummm, I take back that “sister fuckers” comment. > [@garygnu](#): > > My B-i-L was surprised but OK with the move. We agreed that Hugh’s press conferences and radio interviews were awesome. More entertaining than Rex Ryan, for sure, but only we here in the Bay Area got to see it. I caught snippets of his last one, and he was in prime form. From throwing his players and coaches under the bus to declaring that he needed to have more power in order to win, it was like listening into the head of Machiavelli. > [@garygnu](#): > > The real story isn’t Jackson or even McKenzie, but Al’s son Mark coming into his own as an owner. He hired a quality GM and gave him authority. At the press conference, Mark Davis spoke about things an owner is supposed to, like stadiums and front-office organization, not players or playcalling. It’s looking good for that team across the Bay. (I just hope they stay. The threat to move to LA is very, very real.) Not counting compensatory picks (they may get a couple third and fourth rounders), the Raiders don’t have a pick until the 5th round this year, and may have to give away their first next year. It may take awhile, especially if they move back to LA. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/62 "2012-01-12T16:37:01Z")
You’ve got to admire his…chutzpah (yeah, that’s the word. I surely didn’t mean douchebaggery). Expecting more power after betting the farm on Carson “Mr Mediocre” Palmer and alienating your locker room is a sure fire blueprint for success. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/63 "2012-01-12T18:57:49Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Standards. There generally aren’t many mouth breathing sister fuckers on the Dope. Hmm? You’ve been to the Steelers threads… ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/64 "2012-01-12T19:26:39Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Hmm? You’ve been to the Steelers threads… Touche! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/65 "2012-01-13T19:40:46Z")
Jeff Fisher appears to have finally gotten off the pot and [picked the Rams](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/13/jeff-fisher-picks-the-rams/). Now the Dolphins are [butt-hurt](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/13/report-dolphins-feel-fisher-used-them/). Stephen Ross is shaping up to be one of the worst owners in sports. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/66 "2012-01-13T19:45:59Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Jeff Fisher appears to have finally gotten off the pot and [picked the Rams](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/13/jeff-fisher-picks-the-rams/). Now the Dolphins are [butt-hurt](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/13/report-dolphins-feel-fisher-used-them/). Stephen Ross is shaping up to be one of the worst owners in sports. In point of fact, most people thought Fisher would go to the Dolphins, but [he evidently changed his mind because Ross was committed to giving GM Jeff Ireland.](http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7459236/jeff-fisher-coach-st-louis-rams-source-says) He knew what was up and he made his choice. He’s got nothing to complain about. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/67 "2012-01-13T21:18:40Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > In point of fact, most people thought Fisher would go to the Dolphins, but [he evidently changed his mind because Ross was committed to giving GM Jeff Ireland.](http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7459236/jeff-fisher-coach-st-louis-rams-source-says) He knew what was up and he made his choice. He’s got nothing to complain about. I thought it was clear Fisher was going to the Rams and was only toying with the idea of Miami to get more out of St Louis.. I can’t remember where I read the article, but a writer a couple weeks ago made some very good points about why Fisher would end up in St Louis. 1. As he learned in Tennessee, it’s hard to win without a franchise QB. It’s easier to build around Sam Bradford than Matt Moore (or whoever the QB of the week is around there). 2. It was clear from the get-go that Miami was sticking with Jeff Ireland for another season, and few good candidates were going to accept that. 3. Miami is a pit in terms of NFL towns. The fanbase is fickle, and you’ll be expected to produce a winner within 1 or 2 seasons after being dealt a bad hand in terms of personnel, GM, and fan expectations. 4. You really want to get your ass kicked by Bill Belichick and Rex Ryan on a regular basis? Better to have the occasional win over SF and be competitive with Arizona and Seattle in one of the weakest divisions in the NFL. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/68 "2012-01-13T22:02:09Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > As a Bills fan, I found this choice bewildering. Mularkey wasn’t any good in Buffalo, and while the Jags’ offense was painful to watch, the Falcons offense wasn’t very good either. Certainly you can’t say Matt Ryan has developed into a worldbeater at QB, although that’s not something you can pin on one person, and the Falcons’ offense just got shut out by the Giants this weekend. And the Jags hired Bob Bratkowski, former Bengals OC and Falcons QB coach, to be their new OC! Shovel pass on third and long, here it comes! And I think that the Dolphins are going to hire Mike Zimmer, former DC in Dallas and current DC of the Bengals away from Cincinnati to be their new head coach. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/69 "2012-01-13T22:19:06Z")
On a similar thought, I’m stealing this from Simmons Mailbag today. > [@](#): > > **Q: Did you know that papillary thyroid carcinoma is said to be the “best” cancer you can get? Apparently it is relatively easy to treat with an excellent prognosis. That being said, it’s still cancer. Did I mention that, as I type this email, I’m down on knees literally praying that my Tampa Bay Buccaneers hire 68 year old Marty “One and Done” Schottenheimer instead of Wade Phillips, Brad Childress or Mike Sherman? Not that those two thoughts are related or anything. > — Brandon, Vancouver** > > SG: Here’s why I think the Bucs should hire Marty — you know how old people reach that stage when they just don’t give a crap anymore and it’s awesome? They’ll say whatever, do whatever, they just don’t care. They’re old. Whatever. (It’s like Seinfeld’s joke about old people backing out of a driveway — they’re just going to back out, they’re not looking to see if anyone’s coming, and if somebody crashes into them, so be it.) Well, wouldn’t that be a PERFECT thing to happen to Marty Schottenheimer? His teams lost in the playoffs for decades and decades because he’d tighten up, become super-conservative and play not to lose. But now? He’s old! He’s in that “I’m backing out of the driveway, get out of my way!” stage. If I’m running the Bucs, I’d rather gamble that the aging process killed Marty’s fatal flaw as a coach over hiring a proven failure like Phillips or Sherman, or even worse, Brad Childress. > > That reminds me, here’s a good rule of thumb for trades and coaching hirings: Float the guy’s name out as a possibility, then check out the reaction from fans of his old team (bloggers, message boards, sports radio, etc.). If the consensus can be described as “incredulously, deliriously and overwhelmingly sarcastic,” you shouldn’t trade for that player or hire that coach. It’s that simple. Pretty much exactly sums up my earlier sentiments exactly. The fact that Brian Schottenheimer might actually be a good coach and would come along for the ride only solidifies that. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/70 "2012-01-16T22:39:31Z")
If anyone is interested, Gregg Williams has already [decided to leave](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/16/gregg-williams-agrees-to-join-rams-staff/) the Saints DC job to join best buddy Jeff Fisher in St. Louis. All in all, I’m scoring this a win for both sides (all three sides?). The Saints needed a change and I think Williams’ blitz like crazy at all times strategy is pretty dumb, especially for a team that’s as offensively explosive as the Saints are. Getting a more even minded DC in town is the right move, perhaps even a Tampa-2 type guy. They’ll have to make quite a few personnel changes for that though. For the Rams, it’s probably a very good move in the short term. They have some decent players up front and some issues on the back end. They could use a guy who can give them a spark and use some hyper-aggressive schemes to offset some gaps in talent. I wager it’s a short term solution but I think they’ll get a little better before then. It’s good for Williams since he may not have been getting a contract offer from New Orleans and Fisher gets to bring in a experienced guy he trusts. PFT is speculating that Spagnuolo could be a candidate for the Saints opening. It will be interesting to see what Spags chooses, but you’d have to think that the Saints give him the best odds for a title. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/71 "2012-01-16T22:50:04Z")
Well, I’ll be damned. [Mike Martz retired](http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/16/mike-martz-decides-to-retire/). Considering how shitty the coaching candidates are around the league, I wouldn’t have been remotely surprised to see him getting an offer even after another failure. The prospects of him moving to a college also seemed to be interesting. Guess the guy is tired of the grief. I didn’t realize that he was 61 though, he seemed younger than that. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/72 "2012-01-16T23:05:09Z")
Martz wasn’t good as a head coach, but his personality and offensive system pretty much required GM-level authority. I don’t think he was able to handle being part of a larger system. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/73 "2012-01-16T23:09:57Z")
Yeah, you’re right about that. That’s part of the reason his shtick might stick in a college. For all intents he’d be a GM but wouldn’t have to handle any of the business requirements or work within a system like he would in the NFL. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/74 "2012-01-17T16:28:57Z")
Fisher’s contract with the Rams will be worth $35 million over five years. What’s the over-under on Fisher completing that contract or giving the team a return of $1 million per win? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/75 "2012-01-17T19:10:06Z")
7 wins would be a pretty solid out comes for the Rams for the first couple years. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/76 "2012-01-17T19:51:40Z")
[The Colts have fired Jim Caldwell.](http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7471905/indianapolis-colts-fire-jim-caldwell-nfl-worst-2-14-season) ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/77 "2012-01-17T20:19:58Z")
Strangely I received a alert telling me that they’d retained him and 5 minutes later that they’d fired him. Get it straight folks. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/78 "2012-01-17T21:53:02Z")
I guess firing Caldwell was the GM’s choice, otherwise they’d have all done it at once when cleaning house. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/79 "2012-01-17T22:12:23Z")
Stealing this stat from Rich Eisen. "In 2009, 11 new head coaches were hired. After Caldwell’s canning, only 2 are still on the job: Rex Ryan & Jim Schwartz. " ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191/80 "2012-01-17T22:13:29Z")
In other words, this time next year Schwartz might be the only one left from that group. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2012-nfl-coaching-carousel/608191.md?page=5)