# 22-year-old wants to go to Europe, solo **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045 "2016-08-26T19:49:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/21 "2016-08-28T00:53:24Z")
Popping back in to say thanks and keep the ideas coming! Some have said “time to cut the cord” and I agree in general but as a reminder, he’s mildly autistic so that changes things up. If that weren’t at play he’d be a college graduate by now anyway. > [@Boyo Jim](#): > > If he’s been to Baltimore alone, then sending him for a weekend to New York is just a waste. > > I suggest that you plan NOTHING for him, you have him do his own planning, including a budget, and then go over the plan with him and suggest the things he hasn’t thought of. Point 2, I agree, though I’ve got a list (below) to get him started. Point 1, the trips to Baltimore were day trips, no accommodations required, and it would be an easy drive for us to go fetch him if needed. VERY different dynamic. New York or some other major east-of-the-Mississippi city would be a good dry run. Again: mild autism, and something that wouldn’t phase you or I at that age might be disastrous for him. I’m used to US airlines being VERY strict re changes (and charging you through the wazoo if you fly back earlier or later than planned). Is that outdated thinking? Should we encourage him to fly on an non-US airline for the across-the-pond bit? Travelling solo / hostels: My thinking is (as others have noted) that he’ll likely meet up with people and perhaps travel further with them. I think tomorrow I’ll sit down with him and make a list of stuff he needs to do: 1. passport 2. what kind of daily budget: what does a hostel cost in several cities, what would he need for food, what are train or cheap airline tickets like 3. Emergency procedures (critical documents photocopied and stored online) 4. Contact the phone company re options 5. tentative dates and look up airfares 6. discussion with his employer - I’d rather he not _quit_ his job if avoidable, but taking 3 weeks off might make them grumble (he works at a grocery store so there should be SOME flexibility… I hope) 7. Plan an overnight to New York 8. A rough itinerary with the understanding it might change (and let us know if major deviations) 9. Arrange for a credit card with a higher limit - he has one we cosigned on, 4 years ago, but the limit is only 500 dollars. 10. And he’d need that to be a pin-and-chip card, right? US cards are just now getting chipped but we don’t use PINs. Other stuff for The List? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/22 "2016-08-28T01:48:31Z")
With three weeks, I’d plan no more than six, and more reasonably five separate destinations. The main opportunities for chaos when traveling are around transportation, finding and checking in to hotels, and trudging through town with your luggage. Fewer destinations means more time for actually experiencing the places you go to, and less opportunity for things to go wrong. Research packing, and in particular packing extremely light. Beyond being more pleasant, the lighter you pack, the more nimble and less conspicuous you are, and that makes you safer. I suggest packing his backpack while he is wearing it, having him go walk around the block a few times, and then deciding what you _really_ need. Research common scams. Once you know what they are, they are easy to spot. ---
**Author:** ![Polly\_Pointless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Polly\_Pointless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polly_Pointless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/23 "2016-08-28T01:54:34Z")
Unless you somehow control the pursestrings, or have legal guardianship, I don’t know how this is any of your business. Autism or not, he is a grown man and can do what he wants. I really think you need to stay completely out of it even if you are paying. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/24 "2016-08-28T01:54:34Z")
Europe is generally quite safe, especially for men, with the exception of the former Soviet Union. (I’m referring to violent crime rates, not politics). I wouldn’t worry. Good luck to your son! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/25 "2016-08-28T03:50:33Z")
Why not get a few books and have him do the research? Maybe you can all read the books and then compare notes. The important thing is that he should be driving this if it’s important to him, with your gentle support. Put another way, he’s about to go off on his on for an extended period. He needs to start building and demonstrating some of those skills now. Also, the more he does now to plan this, the more he will have internalized and in his toolkit when he gets there. **Fretful Porpentine** (I suspect I mangled that spelling) mentioned taking a student group overseas. Perhaps he would have a standardized packing list he could share with you? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/26 "2016-08-28T08:08:35Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > 1. And he’d need that to be a pin-and-chip card, right? US cards are just now getting chipped but we don’t use PINs. > > Other stuff for The List? And the PIN needs to be 4 digits. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/27 "2016-08-28T14:36:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Other stuff for The List? Tell him to alert his bank and credit card company that he’ll be traveling overseas (you can usually do this online). Otherwise, they may suspect that the card has been stolen and put a block on his account. > [@](#): > > Fretful Porpentine (I suspect I mangled that spelling) mentioned taking a student group overseas. Perhaps he would have a standardized packing list he could share with you? I’m a “she,” but I’ll copy and paste the advice we gave students about packing. For obvious reasons, you can ignore the bits about bringing textbooks and a laptop; and for a “traveling around” type trip, I’d go lighter on the clothing, but insist on a good hiking backpack and NOT a wheeled suitcase. > [@](#): > > **What to pack:** > > – Passport! This is the most important item! Double- and triple-check to make sure you have it! > – Five-week supply of any medications you need, including tablets for motion sickness if you’re prone to it. Note that some items that are available over the counter in the US may be prescription-only in Ireland. If you wear contact lenses, bring a five-week supply plus a backup pair of glasses. Also, bring copies of all prescriptions, including those for glasses or contacts. > – Credit and ATM cards > – Power / plug adapters and chargers for any electronic items > – Clothing – but not too much! You will have the opportunity to do laundry. The weather in Ireland is chilly, rainy, and unpredictable; bring warm, layerable clothes. Here’s a reasonable packing list: > – Socks and underwear – one week’s worth > – Sleepwear. Sweatshirts / sweatpants are good since they can double as extra daywear. > – Sturdy walking shoes appropriate for wet weather (at least two pairs, one of which should be respectable-looking enough for a nice restaurant or the theater) > – Lightweight, hooded waterproof jacket or raincoat > – Three sweaters or long-sleeved shirts (one of these should be somewhat dressy) > – Two pairs jeans / khakis, plus one nicer pair of pants > – Three or four short-sleeved shirts (again, make one of these reasonably nice) > – One dress or blouse / skirt combo (if you’re female and like to wear such things) > – Toiletries / personal grooming items (in reasonable quantities – note that you should be able to buy these things in Ireland, if not always the brands you’re accustomed to) > – Flip-flops or shower shoes > – Sunscreen (we will be spending a lot of time outdoors, and it doesn’t rain ALL the time!) > – Textbooks for your courses > – Alarm (If you are using your phone for this purpose, don’t forget the charger and adapters; you can also buy small travel alarm clocks very cheaply) > – Refillable water bottle (this will need to be EMPTY when you go through airport security) > > **Also recommended:** > > – Towel (however, these will also be available for rental, so leave it out if your bags are getting too full to carry) > – Travel guidebook (Lonely Planet: Ireland is probably the best for a student traveler.) > – Camera (it is worth bringing a good one rather than relying on your phone) > – Laptop or tablet, if you have one, plus adapters > – Travel journal, plus addresses of family and friends who want postcards > – Earplugs / sleep mask if you’re a light sleeper > > **What not to pack:** > > – Sheets, pillows, sleeping bags or other bedding, with the possible exception of one light blanket (but this should be the first thing you ditch if it doesn’t fit) > – Hairdryers, curling irons, electric shavers and toothbrushes, irons, and other small electric appliances. (If there is something you CANNOT do without, buy a cheap one in Ireland.) > – Food or drink > – Any clothing that requires dry cleaning > – Anything easily breakable or in a glass container > – More luggage than you can carry. Note that you’ll be responsible for your own bags, and you may need to walk several blocks or up multiple flights of stairs with them (keep this in mind if you’ve got a wheeled suitcase). A good-quality hiking backpack with a hip belt will increase your carrying capacity, but you should still be careful not to overload it. > – Any shoes that are not comfortable for walking > – More of anything than you’re likely to use in a month. For example, you’re unlikely to go through a 15-ounce bottle of shampoo or conditioner; travel size bottles are a better option. > – Valuable jewelry, or anything else irreplaceable > > **General packing tips:** > > – A common piece of advice on travel websites is “make a pile of everything you think you’ll need, and then take half the clothes and twice the money.” There is much truth in this! > – Plan on bringing one large bag or backpack (but not larger than you can manage by yourself), one carry-on item (a small backpack is ideal, as you can also use it for day trips), and a neck pouch or money belt for your passport, which should be on your person or locked up securely at all times. If you’ve filled these items to capacity, think carefully about whether you actually NEED everything you’ve brought. > – Remember that liquids, gels, and pastes over 3 ounces cannot travel in your carry-on bag, although they can go in your checked luggage, so bring travel-sized toothpaste and anything else you may need on the plane. Liquids under 3 ounces must be packed in a clear plastic zip-lock bag if you want to take them on the plane with you. Scissors and knives must also travel in checked bags. > – Objects that are fragile or valuable should ALWAYS travel in your carry-on bags. Spare lithium batteries should also go in carry-on bags (but note that there are many, many places to buy batteries in Ireland). > – Clothing takes up less room if it is tightly rolled up. Choose items that do not wrinkle easily. > – Remember that almost everything EXCEPT your passport and prescription drugs can be easily bought or replaced while in Ireland. If you realize you’ve forgotten something, don’t panic! ---
**Author:** ![Critical\_Mass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Critical\_Mass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical_Mass)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/28 "2016-08-28T15:12:49Z")
I travelled through a few European countries recently. For the most part we were in relatively large communities. English wasn’t a problem - most everyone spoke english. However, the same couldn’t be said of Romania. We were in a rural part of Romania, and things may be different in larger population areas, but we found very very few English speakers. Thankfully a Romanian was part of our travel group and he served as translator. Romania is beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/29 "2016-08-28T17:51:08Z")
I’d also recommend a [money belt](https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/theft-scams/travel-moneybelt), in addition to your regular wallet in your pocket. The wallet is for daily use. The moneybelt is not. The moneybelt holds your passport, and emergency cash in case your wallet gets stolen (a few large-denomination bills.) You wear the moneybelt hidden under your shirt at ALL times, including when sleeping at a youth hostel… When you use a communal shower, you put the belt in a plastic bag and take it in the shower with you. Open a throw-away email account on Yahoo which can be accessed from any computer (including the reception desk at a police station, if necessary!). Use it to store photocopies of your passport and important stuff, like the barcode on your plane ticket, phone numbers to notify the bank of a lost credit card , etc. There’s no need to be paranoid. Probably nothing bad will happen at all. But you are on your own, so don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If your backpack gets lost/stolen, and it contains your phone, your passport, credit card and your money–you’re going to be stranded helplessly and there’s nobody within 3 thousand miles who cares. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/30 "2016-08-28T22:05:39Z")
I know **Fretful Porpentine** ’s list recommends not bringing any sleeping materials, and I am not sure what is standard today, but when I went in the early 90s, it was common for one to bring a flat sheet, sewn into a sleeping bag, when staying at the hostels. That way one’s body only contacted that surface as opposed to mattresses and bedding of undetermined cleanliness (if you know what I mean). Also, echoing **chappachula** ’s recommendation on a money belt. Additionally, a small daypack can be handy if staying in one place for a few days - as long as the big backpack can be locked-up somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/31 "2016-08-28T22:34:11Z")
I have a small picture book for travel with photos of just about everything you might ever need–toilet, doctor, all the way through different donesses (?) of steak. Can’t remember the name and have never used it but it might be a great resource for yor son. Would also second the flip flops/shower shoes. In hostel showers or similar quality it’s probably better not to go in barefoot. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/32 "2016-08-28T22:51:59Z")
I say let him do him thing. Make sure the sailboat you buy him can handle hurricanes and storms, tho. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/33 "2016-08-29T15:03:00Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > … > Make sure the sailboat you buy him can handle hurricanes and storms, tho. Yeah, i suppose so, since the hamster-wheel idea [doesn’t look practical](http://mashable.com/2016/04/26/inflatable-ball-rescue/#POhA9zuf45qZ). ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/34 "2016-09-04T21:58:38Z")
Make sure he watches the Hostel movies first, as a cautionary tale of what not to do. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/35 "2016-09-05T04:43:40Z")
> [@Fretful\_Porpentine](#): > > **I’m a “she,”** … Whoops - sorry! :o ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/36 "2016-09-05T04:47:58Z")
If he finds himself, will he have to start paying double? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/37 "2016-09-28T02:17:10Z")
Bumpdate He finally got formal approval to take the time off work - and STILL HAS NOT GOTTEN HIS PASSPORT. This is with a departure date of next Tuesday. He tried making an appointment at the passport agency (we live just outside Washington DC) but they wouldn’t do it until he had travel tickets. Which he’s finally purchasing tonight. I had been pushing him to apply for a credit card with a larger limit - he didn’t do THAT until last week. Argh. And did he go to the nearby credit union that offers PIN-and-chip cards? Nope… he applied to the CU where he currently banks (which is fine, but they don’t offer PIN cards). So I’m hoping he can get in tomorrow or Thursday, and I _really_ hope they can issue it basically on the spot - or he’s out nearly a grand in airfare. He’s planning on flying into London then immediately taking a train to Paris. And he said he’s planning on using Couchsurfing for most of his accommodations, hostels where he can’t couchsurf. What’s the etiquette there? Is he expected to bring a sleeping bag? a gift for the host(s)? anything else? ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2016, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/38 "2016-09-28T06:01:04Z")
Thanks for the update and please keep letting us know what’s happening. I’m rooting for you son, but it is a mighty hard row to hoe. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/39 "2016-09-28T06:28:00Z")
I’ve couchsurfed a bit in Europe- etiquette isn’t exactly fixed, but a (very small, lightweight) sleeping bag, or sleeping bag liner (like **snowthx** mentioned) is not a bad idea. As for host gifts, most hosts are pretty upfront if they have expectations; I’ve had requests to bring some groceries (staying somewhere pretty rural), and bringing a few tiny souvenirs from home (fridge magnets from your home town or similar) is a nice touch, but not generally expected. If he knows anyone who has a couch surfing profile, getting them to leave some reviews on his profile before he leaves is a good idea. PS, I know you said he’s heading straight though to France from London, but if that changes and he winds up in Bristol, England, which isn’t that far from London, I know the local couchsurfing group, and could probably host in a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2016, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045/40 "2016-09-28T12:09:43Z")
You’re overthinking. He’ll be fine. He’ll embarrass himself a few times, but that’s how you learn socialization. He’ll come back in one piece, more worldly and well-formed. He’ll meet lots and lots of other travelers, with varying degrees of experience. People are, in general, pretty nice. Even Europeans. People are accustomed nowadays to foreigners erratic behyavior, even autistics. I’m also high-function autistic, and I had no problem going to places like El Salvador and Syria before I was 25. One specific suggestion I can offer: I travel with a $50 Android tablet, which gives me (through Google Hangouts) free unlimited phone calling to any North America number wherever there is WiFi. Just activate his Google e-mail account for google-phone. No need for a phone or Simcard. Anywhere. Last month I was phoning home from Somalia. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/22-year-old-wants-to-go-to-europe-solo/764045.md?page=3)