# 24: Season 5: Episode 15 (9:00pm - 10:00pm) - OPEN SPOILERS **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163 "2006-03-27T22:33:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/101 "2006-03-29T06:49:25Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Anyway, I have absolutely nothing to back this up, which is why it’s not spoilered. It’s probably completely wrong. But with the nerve gas gone, do they have time to introduce another super-weapon? I bet if they do, it’ll be a 1920’s style death ray. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/102 "2006-03-29T06:50:41Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Okay, so we’ve got the following: > > **Team CTU** , and the ones who most deserve to have a nickname: > > Curtis: **Black Bauer** > Chloe: **Hack Bauer** > Edgar: **Snack Bauer** > Michelle: **Flack Bauer** (Seems like a bit of a stretch to me, though.) What about Tony, or is he still “Soulpatch Bauer”? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/103 "2006-03-29T07:32:38Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > What about Tony, or is he still “Soulpatch Bauer”? Well, for most of the day, and especially now, he’s been… **Slack Bauer** ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/104 "2006-03-29T13:35:23Z")
I like “Soulpatch Bauer.” Doesn’t quite rhyme, but it’s close enough. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/105 "2006-03-29T14:55:29Z")
Has it occured to anyone else that, in light of the fact that Bierko planned to send the nerve gas into people’s homes through their gas piping, the VP’s insistence on declaring martial law (thereby making sure everybody was at home when the gas came through their pipes) seems that much more sinister? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/106 "2006-03-29T15:01:56Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > the VP’s insistence on declaring martial law seems that much more sinister? Good point. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/107 "2006-03-29T15:10:44Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You guys been watching President Palmer on _The Unit?_ > These guys make Jack look…normal. Hehe, President Palmer is the only reason I’ve been watching _The Unit_. I like it, so I’ll continue to watch it. Last episode (not this week) with him on a solo mission was pretty good. That training with the live ammo was pretty hardcore also. ---
**Author:** ![aleong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@aleong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aleong)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/108 "2006-03-29T17:13:35Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > I bet if they do, it’ll be a 1920’s style death ray. Or better yet, “Snakes on a Plane!” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/109 "2006-03-29T17:20:12Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Has it occured to anyone else that, in light of the fact that Bierko planned to send the nerve gas into people’s homes through their gas piping, the VP’s insistence on declaring martial law (thereby making sure everybody was at home when the gas came through their pipes) seems that much more sinister? In the 24-verse, yes I think that is correct. In the real world, the nerve gas delivery through the natural gas pipeline would have little effect. I tisn’t like we have natural gas hissing inot our homes. And when we do let it is ignited prettymuch immediately. Not that it is a good idea to have nerve gas in the pipelines, but it isn’t nearly as effective as it would seem. BTW, have you ever seen {i]The Simpsons\* episode where Lisa goes to D.C. as part of an essay contest and delviers a scathing attack on political corruption? In that episode a Senator is caught in a sting arrested and sent to jail, meanwhile the congress passes a law and the President signs it, all within the space of a few hours. I imagine that is what will happen for the last 8 or so hours. Conspiracy revealed, perpetrators put on trial and found guiilty, exposed in the press, Congressional hearings, new law created, maybe a Supreme Court hearing and decision. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/110 "2006-03-29T17:25:24Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I like “Soulpatch Bauer.” Doesn’t quite rhyme, but it’s close enough. If we assume that he died due to heart failure when he was injected with the agony drug, we have **Heart-attack Bauer**. Doesn’t roll off the tongue very easily, but it does have ther requisti “ack” ending. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/111 "2006-03-29T17:53:07Z")
BTW, I still don’t get Michelle’s “Flack Bauer” appellation. “Flak Bauer” might work a little bit better, given the circumstances of her death, but it’s still an awkward fit. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/112 "2006-03-29T18:44:43Z")
Personally, I think Curtis & Chloe are the only ones worthy of \*ack Bauerisms. Tony, maybe, but nothing really fit with the rhyme scheme, and anyway “Soul Patch Almeida” was pretty cool, anyway. Maybe Mandy could have one, come to think of it. But yeah, I don’t think Lynn’s sister’s boyfriend needs a nickname. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/113 "2006-03-29T18:50:23Z")
Don’t forget Secret Service Man Aaron Pierce. He might not be part of CTU, but he deserves a Jack-esque nickname. Unfortunately, “Bald Bauer” doesn’t quite cut it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/114 "2006-03-29T19:58:01Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Unfortunately, “Bald Bauer” doesn’t quite cut it. No, no I think it has a certain ring to it. ---
**Author:** ![Airblairxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Airblairxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airblairxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/115 "2006-03-29T20:00:30Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Unfortunately, “Bald Bauer” doesn’t quite cut it. “Hair (Lacks)” Bauer? I’m sorry. I’ll go turn in my membership card right now. Seriously, that was a pretty good episode. I think all the explosions are over with for this season, and the rest of the episodes will be dealing with the apparent conspiracy within the White House and martial law on the streets of LA. And nobody this week has yet mentioned the Chinese. If Desmond the German Brit doesn’t sell Jack out, then it’s a sure bet that President Gobberjowls will be manipulated into having Jack arrested by someone involved with the conspiracy. Maybe Henderson, since he knows everything else about Jack . . .? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/116 "2006-03-29T22:14:39Z")
Did anyone else see the commerical for a movie called “The Sentinal” with Jack Bauer as Jack Bauer: Secret Service Agent, during monday night’s episode? Or was it just on my local station? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/117 "2006-03-29T22:22:39Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Did anyone else see the commerical for a movie called “The Sentinal” with Jack Bauer as Jack Bauer: Secret Service Agent, during monday night’s episode? I saw that too, had the same reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/118 "2006-03-29T22:28:01Z")
Aaron has had the aptitude and fortune to be in the right place at the right time to gather pertinent information and come through every time he was needed. He’s someone who can always be counted on to do his job, and do it well. I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to assign him the name **Knack Bauer**. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/119 "2006-03-29T22:39:01Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to assign him the name **Knack Bauer**. How about “First Lady’s Boy Toy Bauer”? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/120 "2006-03-29T23:45:11Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > But yeah, I don’t think Lynn’s sister’s boyfriend needs a nickname. I was thinking “Dickhead” kind of fits him… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163.md?page=7)