# 24: Season 5: Episode 15 (9:00pm - 10:00pm) - OPEN SPOILERS **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163 "2006-03-27T22:33:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/121 "2006-03-29T23:51:14Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Okay, so we’ve got the following: > > **Team CTU** , and the ones who most deserve to have a nickname: > > Curtis: **Black Bauer** > Chloe: **Hack Bauer** > Edgar: **Snack Bauer** > Michelle: **Flack Bauer** (Seems like a bit of a stretch to me, though.) > > **Ancillary characters** : > > Kim: **Rack Bauer** , **Stacked Bauer** or **Trap Bauer** > Shari: **Whacked Bauer** > Miles: **Mack Bauer** or (based purely on Mr. Mace’s speculation) **Brokeback Bauer** > Barry: **Quack Bauer** > > **One-shot or otherwise minor characters** : > > Spenser: **Shack Bauer** (Um, why? I think this more accurately describs the survivalist from Season One.) > Jenny McGill or her druggie boyfriend: **Crack Bauer** We should call this collection of nicknames **FAQ Bauer**. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/122 "2006-03-30T01:12:59Z")
Audrey = **Frack Bauer** for obvious reasonss, or, given her toothy grin, maybe **Plaque Bauer**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/123 "2006-03-30T02:00:47Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > We should call this collection of nicknames **FAQ Bauer**. You win the internet. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/124 "2006-03-30T02:17:59Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > How about “First Lady’s Boy Toy Bauer”? Doesn’t quite rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/125 "2006-03-30T04:40:23Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Personally, I think Curtis & Chloe are the only ones worthy of \*ack Bauerisms. Tony, maybe, but nothing really fit with the rhyme scheme, and anyway “Soul Patch Almeida” was pretty cool, anyway. Maybe Mandy could have one, come to think of it. > > But yeah, I don’t think Lynn’s sister’s boyfriend needs a nickname. Yeah, you get a -Bauer nickname for being a supreme badass like Jack. Black Bauer and Hack Bauer are both awesome, so they deserve it. But just because you can come up with a semi-apropos rhyme for “Jack” doesn’t mean the person deserves the appellation. Besides, were Lynn’s sister and boyfriend actually smoking crack? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/126 "2006-03-30T04:50:59Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Yeah, you get a -Bauer nickname for being a supreme badass like Jack. Black Bauer and Hack Bauer are both awesome, so they deserve it. But just because you can come up with a semi-apropos rhyme for “Jack” doesn’t mean the person deserves the appellation. Besides, were Lynn’s sister and boyfriend actually smoking crack? However, I do think “FAQ Bauer” should be used somewhere. Maybe for our list of thread rules? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/127 "2006-03-30T05:22:05Z")
Sounds good to me. And yeah, Curtis and Chloe (and Aaron!) are the only ones that truly deserve to inherit the Bauer name. ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/128 "2006-03-30T16:05:14Z")
Another vote for bad-assiness as the only path to Baurhood. On the side of the angels: Curtis, Chloe, & Aaron. But do we have a nickname for Mandy yet? She definitely qualifies, bad ass-wise. Since she’s evil, maybe she’s the **Anti Baur**? (And you just know the final season - the last day - is going to be Jack vs. Mandy, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/129 "2006-03-30T16:25:39Z")
> [@Just1Lurk](#): > > But do we have a nickname for Mandy yet? She definitely qualifies, bad ass-wise. Since she’s evil, maybe she’s the **Anti Baur**? I’m a bit bummed that “Black Bauer” is already taken… I think that would have fit her nicely, in the darkness/evil kind of way. ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/130 "2006-03-30T16:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Troy McClure SF** : > I’m a bit bummed that “Black Bauer” is already taken… I think that would have fit her nicely, in the darkness/evil kind of way. “Rack Baur” also fits nicely (oh, \*so \* nicely!) and is also taken. \*\*Darth Baur \*\* doesn’t rhyme, but it does have a ring to it, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/131 "2006-03-31T04:19:55Z")
May I beg for a copy of someone’s tape? I seem to have DVR’d A&E instead of KDVR. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163/132 "2006-03-31T07:33:24Z")
Does anyone else see NCAA coverage and wonder, “How the hell is George Mason playing basketball? He blew up in a nuclear explosion!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-15-9-00pm-10-00pm-open-spoilers/350163.md?page=6)