# 24: Season 5: Episode 22 (4:00am - 5:00am) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 15, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870 "2006-05-15T18:20:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/21 "2006-05-16T12:53:20Z")
“Commander, some heavily-armed highly-skilled terrorists are coming to seize control of your boat.” “Got it! Me and my 9mm will stick our heads out of the hatch to this submarine I’m in. What could go wrong?” I may be silly…but I imagine that your average sub has, you know, LOCKS ON THE HATCHEs! Lots of Chloe scowling, though. Speaking of Commander TooStupidToLive, anyone else think he might be Buchannan’s brother? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/22 "2006-05-16T13:01:49Z")
Ok, if I’m in a submarine, and a government agent with enough clout to get through to me on the phone calls and says that we might be attacked at any second, I don’t give the command to look lively. I give the command to dive, dive, dive! ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/23 "2006-05-16T14:39:23Z")
Yep, foreign nuclear submarine docked in a non-military shipyard with no outside guards posted so that anyone can just walk on up to it at 4:45am and wait for the hatch to open. Totally plausible. I’m just watching to see Jack take down Logan. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/24 "2006-05-16T14:44:19Z")
You know what’s also kind of funny… the russian sub is there as per the terms of the treaty. 12 hours or so after it was signed. Russian President: Now that you’ve signed this treaty, we happen to have a nuclear armed sub within striking distance of LA that we can share the technology on. We’ll be over in a few hours. ---
**Author:** ![randwill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@randwill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randwill)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/25 "2006-05-16T15:05:52Z")
Has 24 always been this ridiculous? I haven’t watched any of the previous seasons since viewing them when they aired, but I don’t remember having to suspend so much disbelief in the past. Have I just grown more cynical and discriminating? I just hope this season is an aberration and in a few months I’ll read an interview with one of the producers saying something like, “Yeah, we kinda’ dropped the ball last season, letting chimps write it, but we’re back on track this year.” ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/26 "2006-05-16T15:11:29Z")
> [@randwill](#): > > Has 24 always been this ridiculous? Yeah, but that’s part of its charm. Just think of it as a graphic novel and you’ll be OK. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/27 "2006-05-16T15:14:29Z")
Well last season was pretty much just as ridiculous. I am also getting annoyed with the amazing time comprssion. Yes, I know it happens all the time in the 24-verse, but as they get near the end they just seem intent on ignoring any semblence of time and cramming stuff in. I mean how long did it take Jack and Hnderson to get to that guys place? Chloe,as always, can hack, decrypt and unscramble in mere seconds. Jack told Buchanan to tell Audrey to get the submarine comander on the phone. I swear that took all of 30 seconds. Seriously, is it that easy? I dunno, I still watch and I still enjoy, but it is getting harder and harder to stomach. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/28 "2006-05-16T15:29:18Z")
> [@c\_goat](#): > > You know what’s also kind of funny… the russian sub is there as per the terms of the treaty. 12 hours or so after it was signed. I suppose it’s possible to have one nearby, knowing they will sign the treaty. Doesn’t seem like you’d let the Other Side wander around the sub without an escort, though. 🙂 And nerve gas plays hell with the resale value. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/29 "2006-05-16T15:33:58Z")
24 has NOT always been this stupid. It was somewhat implausible but involving the first year, and it’s gotten progressively worse and less involving ever since. We’re sticking through this season out of pure stubbornness. Saying that you should think of it as a graphic novel is an insult to graphic novels and comic books. ---
**Author:** ![Survey1215](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Survey1215](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survey1215)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/30 "2006-05-16T15:52:02Z")
> [@annieclaus](#): > > So, is Aaron shot? Or is he just pretty much beaten into a pulp? > > And is Wayne Palmer in his bunnie jammies at Buchanon’s house yet? FLOTUS only got off one shot when she killed the bad SS guy, right? Assuming so, Aaron wasn’t accidently clipped by her, but my guess is that the baddie had roughed him up some more after ‘Charles’ talked to him, explaining his poor condition. Baddie was about to take the tire iron to him when he was shot up. Wayne has been preparing for the move to the East Coast and CBS by legally changing his name to Tobias Blane and enlisting in the military. What are these plans El Presidente has for when Jack is in the open? Did he work up a deal to get the Chinese after him? Maybe that German agent he screwed over about 10 hours ago? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/31 "2006-05-16T15:57:56Z")
BTW, when Jack kissed Audrey did he transfer to her his Wolverine-like healing power, becasue she was pretty damn close to death and had lost a ton of blood just a few hours earlier. Should she really be up and about? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/32 "2006-05-16T16:03:53Z")
> [@c\_goat](#): > > You know what’s also kind of funny… the russian sub is there as per the terms of the treaty. 12 hours or so after it was signed. > > Russian President: Now that you’ve signed this treaty, we happen to have a nuclear armed sub within striking distance of LA that we can share the technology on. We’ll be over in a few hours. The sub doesn’t have nuclear warheads. Does that make it better? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/33 "2006-05-16T16:07:39Z")
> [@Gangster Octopus](#): > > BTW, when Jack kissed Audrey did he transfer to her his Wolverine-like healing power, becasue she was pretty damn close to death and had lost a ton of blood just a few hours earlier. Should she really be up and about? Her superhuman abilities show that she is a fit mate for Jack Bauer. So, what was the deal with “horizontal-launch missiles” on that sub? Cheaper sets? Or are only the nukes on a sub vertical-launch? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/34 "2006-05-16T16:25:10Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > So, what was the deal with “horizontal-launch missiles” on that sub? Cheaper sets? Or are only the nukes on a sub vertical-launch? I reckon they launch from torpedo tubes rather than the nuclear missile tube thingies. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/35 "2006-05-16T16:26:22Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > So, what was the deal with “horizontal-launch missiles” on that sub? Cheaper sets? Or are only the nukes on a sub vertical-launch? I just assumed the missiles they plan on shooting can be fired from either the horizontal or vertical tubes. So they need to load up the other tubes so they can shoot a bunch of missiles at once. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/36 "2006-05-16T16:27:33Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > The sub doesn’t have nuclear warheads. Does that make it better? 🆒 You’re right, I remember Buchanan saying something about nuclear warheads, but I guess he was saying it DIDN’T have any. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/37 "2006-05-16T16:28:04Z")
At least they let Audrey change out of her blood-soaked clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Kiros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/439d5e/32.png) [@Kiros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiros)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/38 "2006-05-16T16:52:54Z")
> [@cbawlmer](#): > > 24 has NOT always been this stupid. It was somewhat implausible but involving the first year, and it’s gotten progressively worse and less involving ever since. We’re sticking through this season out of pure stubbornness. I’ll amend this by saying that 24 has not always been this _implausible_. I would, in fact, argue that the first season was just another kind of boring thriller save-the-day show with a cool gimmick, and that what makes this show worth watching is the complete unreality of what has been happening for the last season or two. Seriously - for me it’s gone from “okay show that I watch so I can talk about it the next day with people at work” to “excellent ‘popcorn’-style show that is the highlight of my Monday nights”. I wish I were kidding. Life is just more fun when you accept that Chloe can satellite track (and then scowl at) anything she damn well pleases, and that when Jack’s body count for an episode is “0 killed, 1 injured” you’re utterly disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/39 "2006-05-16T16:54:01Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > At least they let Audrey change out of her blood-soaked clothes. I guess she brought another white silk blouse and nice skirt, pantyhose and shoes with her when she reported for work this morning. You know, just in case. I tell you, if I get slashed up at work sometime and they let me change into comfy yoga pants and a t-shirt like she had in the clinic, I’m keeping those on for the rest of the day. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870/40 "2006-05-16T17:04:49Z")
> [@Kiros](#): > > I’ll amend this by saying that 24 has not always been this _implausible_. I would, in fact, argue that the first season was just another kind of boring thriller save-the-day show with a cool gimmick, and that what makes this show worth watching is the complete unreality of what has been happening for the last season or two. I’d even be okay with that kind of implausibility if the show didn’t take itself so freaking seriously, and ignore all logic and common sense. The characters’ motivations change so frequently and ridiculously that it does you know good to actually pay attention and try to figure out what’s going on. Why do they make it so goddamned plot-heavy if the plot is utterly irrelevant and amorphous? When Nina turned out to be the mole, it was a crazy swerve. When Logan’s supposed to be an evil mastermind, it’s utterly eyeroll-worthy. And wow, those terrorists sure do have a giant web of intricate contingency plans. No matter what CTU throws at them, they always have something bigger in store that depends entirely on events occurring exactly the way they do. I feel really bad for the poor actors, who have to live completely in the moment and never know if the acting choices they’re making will make sense two episodes from now. “What? My character has an IQ over 40 and is really the evil mastermind? I wish I hadn’t poured so much energy into projecting total cowardice and incompetence for the past year and a half!” I did laugh last night when Novick informed Logan of Bierko’s escape. Logan’s fake-shocked reaction was genuis! I like that actor a lot, and you could really see Logan’s mental hamster wheel spinning: “I’m not supposed to know this, and it’s supposed to be bad news. Therefore, big gasp!” Awesome, awesome take. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episode-22-4-00am-5-00am/356870.md?page=3)