# 24: Season 5: Episodes 3-4 (9:00am - 11:00am) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 16, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274 "2006-01-16T22:59:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/161 "2006-01-18T21:54:07Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I really want to see Jack-O torture the crap out of him. Maybe that sick swallow the knotted cloth torture from Season 4. You mean Season 1? The Gulag torture. I was looking forward to seeing that. Then again, I was hoping Jack would get to torture Sherry at some point. “Sorry, Ma’am. Presidental orders” ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/162 "2006-01-18T22:04:02Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > You mean Season 1? The Gulag torture. Damn, I watched the DVDs of season one and two this summer and now you’ve got me mis-remembering things and blending them all together. I _think_ I was refering to the Serbian guy from last season, the one who worked as a Business man, who Jack kidnapped by pretending to be his Limo driver. He threatened to feed him the end of a cloth which would wick up stomach acid which would slowly digest his esophogus. Unfortunately Jack punched him and gave him a heart attack before he got the chance. Thankfully the tactic is still available for use on Pres. OverEmoter. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/163 "2006-01-18T22:04:49Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > First: It \*was \* in his memoirs; Jack and Wayne compared pages printed to those in the files. I dunno, maybe it was hidden there completely out of context, but it seems strange not to just have it in a separate file. Being surrounded by Secret Service, it’s not like his laptop is a security risk by being available to the general public. Although I guess that would support the speculation that his brother is involved and Palmer was hiding it from him. :dubious: As said, it was completely there out of context. You had sentance, sentance, and then the guy’s name completely out of the blue. It was just stuck in there between sentances talking about… perhaps all the other stuff you said he should write his memoirs in. > [@](#): > > Second: I can’t believe that Palmer is persona non grata in Washington just because President Hissyfit got his knickers in a twist. The first three seasons set Palmer up as a decisive President with access to intelligence agencies, and the fourth season brought him back from retirement because of that. Any former President would get a listen out of mere courtesy, but Palmer is presented as especially credible. Palmer knows that Logan doesn’t like him. If he gave the info to CTU, they’d immediately tell the President, who’d tell them to shove it. Palmer probably thought that Logan would listen to his wife (how wrong he was) and there may be more than meets the eye with that ‘friendship’. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/164 "2006-01-18T22:08:09Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Damn, I watched the DVDs of season one and two this summer and now you’ve got me mis-remembering things and blending them all together. I _think_ I was refering to the Serbian guy from last season, the one who worked as a Business man, who Jack kidnapped by pretending to be his Limo driver. He threatened to feed him the end of a cloth which would wick up stomach acid which would slowly digest his esophogus. > . That’s it, yeah. Every time I see that scene, I always say “Jeeves, I don’t remember you being a blonde”. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/165 "2006-01-18T22:32:21Z")
> [@ISiddiqui](#): > > Palmer probably thought that Logan would listen to his wife (how wrong he was) and there may be more than meets the eye with that ‘friendship’. I get that same feeling that David Palmer may have been “Designing Women” with Jean Smart’s character sometime in the past, however if he was then he would know that Current President Gobblerjowls was not a caring and compassionate husband, and therefore wouldn’t listen to her. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/166 "2006-01-19T01:12:49Z")
So did sleeping with the former President drive her mad? Or partially mad? Or a little bipolar? ---
**Author:** ![spiralscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@spiralscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiralscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/167 "2006-01-19T01:36:48Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > So did sleeping with the former President drive her mad? Or partially mad? Or a little bipolar? Moving from the hills to marry a valley resident with no limbs did it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/168 "2006-01-19T01:48:28Z")
> [@spiralscratch](#): > > a valley resident with no limbs did it. Someone’s going to come along and explain that soon, right? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/169 "2006-01-19T02:27:45Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Jack Bauer, now available in easy to swallow gel caps. 😉 Hey, man, I was spinning horseshit into gold. Only one slipup in my story is a frickin miracle! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/170 "2006-01-19T02:32:06Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > the one who worked as a Business man, who Jack kidnapped by pretending to be his Limo driver. He threatened to feed him the end of a cloth which would wick up stomach acid which would slowly digest his esophogus. That was definitely Season 1. > [@SuperNelson](#): > > Also, I’ve got the same model phone as Jack, and I don’t have submenu option three (Blow up terrorists remotely). Well, I don’t have a cell phone, but I think my laptop computer has that feature… > [@Plynck](#): > > Second: I can’t believe that Palmer is persona non grata in Washington just because President Hissyfit got his knickers in a twist. The first three seasons set Palmer up as a decisive President with access to intelligence agencies, and the fourth season brought him back from retirement because of that. It was the events of season 4 that got Logan upset with Palmer. Logan brought Palmer in to help advise him, and Wussyface even gave Palmer free reign in the decision-making and handling of the crisis. Then after the fact, Logan got his panties in a wad about the Chinese incident, and he blamed Palmer for how it was handled (probably only because it had potential to cast a bad light on his “administration”). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/171 "2006-01-19T02:59:59Z")
Suppose Wayne Palmer is involved. Perhaps he learned from his brother that Jack is alive. He hates his brother for not taking his advice to run a second term. For being a goodie-two-shoes and not taking his political advice. Mother always liked _ **him** _ best… ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/172 "2006-01-19T03:41:51Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Suppose Wayne Palmer is involved. Perhaps he learned from his brother that Jack is alive. He hates his brother for not taking his advice to run a second term. For being a goodie-two-shoes and not taking his political advice. Mother always liked _ **him** _ best… Plus, his brother cancelled his Allstate insurance policy. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/173 "2006-01-19T03:43:38Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Plus, his brother cancelled his Allstate insurance policy. He caught Wayne attempting to pull a scam with the dreaded “swoop and squat” maneuver. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/174 "2006-01-19T03:56:21Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > He caught Wayne attempting to pull a scam with the dreaded “swoop and squat” maneuver. And the crazy part? HE WASN’T USING A CAR! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/175 "2006-01-19T04:01:32Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Plus, his brother cancelled his Allstate insurance policy. Which reminds me. Does Allstate offer an anti-sniper policy? Should they? Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/176 "2006-01-19T04:14:03Z")
Well they will now! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/177 "2006-01-19T04:22:38Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Which reminds me. Does Allstate offer an anti-sniper policy? Should they? Discuss. You’re in good hands… with Allstate’s Embalming Service. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/178 "2006-01-19T14:54:11Z")
Okay, besides the timing aspects, what bothers me about Palmer’s hiding that name in the text of chapter one is that he encrypted it. See, either you go for the ‘hide in plain sight’ method OR you encrypt. Doing both is self-defeating, as Jack proved: “Let’s look at this file.” “Why that one?” “It’s the only one encrypted.” And if you are going to encrypt, don’t include a whole bunch of ordinary text – all that does is make it easier to decrypt. Put the one one line in a file by itself and mush that. Or encrypt the ordinary version of the text, open it with a text editor, scroll down to page 8, say, type in your name and address, then close and re-encrypt. Anyone trying to decrypt the file won’t realize they’ve broken it if what results is encrypted crap. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/179 "2006-01-19T16:27:43Z")
No! I’ve just realized that the next episode will conflict with the Ottawa-Toronto game on Monday! Does Global show 24 multiple times in a week? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274/180 "2006-01-19T17:21:39Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Which reminds me. Does Allstate offer an anti-sniper policy? Should they? Discuss. My theory is that Allstate is behind the whole “Let’s frame Jack Bauer conspiracy”. Last season’s terrorist organization had a group plan with Allstate, and thanks to Jack, they had to pay out on about a bazillion policies. Jack, quite frankly, is an actuarial nightmare. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/24-season-5-episodes-3-4-9-00am-11-00am/340274.md?page=10)