# 25 days of Christmas food fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203 "2001-11-30T21:18:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/61 "2001-12-04T11:21:46Z")
So, ummm, what thread are you taking us to, **Dragon?** ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/62 "2001-12-04T21:04:32Z")
_slips out the back door and a few minutes later runs back into the thread spraying everyone, including Dragon, Goo and Cougar with hot, hot gravy from a vacuum cleaner, of her own invention, that blows not sucks_ hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! _everyone is drenched in hot gravy now and are silent, staring at ozonebaby, she quickly runs for her life into the kitchen and baracades the door_ weapon,weapon, uh. . .ahha! _spies silverware draw and quickly grabs some forks_ this worked on Jester so it’ll work on you’ll! _as the door breaks down she shes a mob of gravy cover people, and things, and loses her nerve_ uh. . .hi guys! uh . . .look the police behind you! _while everyone runs for a place to get out she slips out the only accessable door_ (i locked all the windows and doors before everyone arrived :D) hehe. . . _when she is halfway out the door she yells. . ._ I was just kidding there are no police! Suckers! hahahaha! _slips out of the thread for a while so she can get some new clothes_ i’ll be back. . . ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/63 "2001-12-04T21:41:45Z")
_assembles a long range dispersal device out of a nozzle and five cans of cheezewhiz_ _wades into the fray with his Five Barreled Cheezewhiz Gun of General Mess Making™_ Muhahahaha! _sprays everyone with cheezewhiz_ ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/64 "2001-12-05T00:20:37Z")
Swampbear walks casually into the room. Unbeknownst to ozonebaby he has gone to the corner store an purchased a bottle of **PURPLE** ketchup. Sneaks up behind ozonebaby…hey ozonebaby! Wanna little ketchup with those fries? Squirts evil purple ketchup all over ozone’s hair and runs. **BWAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA** ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/65 "2001-12-05T03:22:47Z")
_Rolls some apples on the floor and watches everyone fall_ _Throws some vanilla pudding on **Goo** _ ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@Dragon\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/66 "2001-12-05T07:23:33Z")
flys into the night for an hour or two, then turns around to her companions . . . _so, **goo** and **cougar** , which thread do you visit (and possibly destruct) now?_ ---
**Author:** ![Frosfir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac91a4/32.png) [@Frosfir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frosfir)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/67 "2001-12-05T08:03:53Z")
_settles down in the corner of the room 2 watch the excitement…_ _thinks: i really hate getting myself dirty w/ food… It always takes me sooooo long to clean myself, because i keep changing forms. SHEESH. sometimes being a shapeshifter can spoil one’s apetite._ _changes into a fly_ _leans over now-large book_ Let’s see… “to make your perfect Pasta, put a dragon shadow, a cougar’s fang, some goo, and some muddy shark into a pot and boil for 3 hours. Include any other foods that might be nearby. CAUTION: DO NOT PUT IN ANY HUMANS, FOR THEY DISFLAVOR THE PASTA. DO NOT PUT IN ANY SWAMPY BEARS. DO NOT PUT IN ANY OZONE BABIES. Your Perfect Pasta is waiting!” _blink blink_ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Perfect Pasta??? ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/68 "2001-12-05T08:37:27Z")
_hisses at Ozonebaby_ _stalks 'baby throughout the message boards_ _waits for an opportunity_ _sheathes and unsheathes claws in anticipation…_ NOW! _splats 'baby with a very large, very gooey chocolate cake_ _licks frosting off of 'baby_ Lick lick slurp lick slurp slurp tickle slurp lick lick SLUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP aaaaaaaaaaaaaah… _wades back into the fray, throwing cherries at random_ ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@Dragon\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/69 "2001-12-05T09:04:39Z")
so you’re telling me i’ve been flying hours into the night, and i haven’t been getting any farther? i’m still in this thread? :browses through the other threads: ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/70 "2001-12-05T09:14:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragon Shadow \* > \*\*so you’re telling me i’ve been flying hours into the night, and i haven’t been getting any farther? i’m still in this thread? > :browses through the other threads: \*\* Yep, the kilo-kilo-kilometer-long thread… 😃 _grabs moldy cranberries left from the Thanksgiving food fight and pelts the room_ Wow, I never knew moldy cranberries bounced… learn a new thing everyday… _ducks behind the couch_ ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/71 "2001-12-05T19:45:17Z")
Bwahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah! _ **Zappo** strolls into the room with a large rubber bladder on his back, connected to a hose that he holds in his right hand_ Would you all like some. . .CREAMED CORN? _Flips the trigger and sprays the room with creamy corny goodness, leaving the entire room and all therein under a half-inch layer of the stuff_ _Runs out, cackling like a loon_ ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/72 "2001-12-05T21:14:45Z")
In case you all haven’t noticed, I have not been on the boards but at the store. _walks in with clean clothes on, sees a cardboard cutout she left there that has beensprayed with purple ketchup_ _licks off some ketchup_ mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…ketchup… hey cougar, for your inf. that wasn’t me you followed, it was my alter ego, earthbaby. gosh sometimes animals can be so stupid. \*takes off the backpack she had been carrying and opens it, what’s inside?. . . . . KETCHUP!!! ALL COLORS TOO!! _picks up a can and drenches everyone insight, so drenchind dragon that he cannot fly_ don’t worry that i’ll run out, i have a never emptying bag of ketchup!! _sees Frosfir on the book and sprays him too, he is now trapped as a fly under a 20 foot pile of ketchup_ hehe _sneaks away from the Straight Dope for a long vacation_ ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/73 "2001-12-06T00:08:50Z")
\*Takes some colored margarine and mashed potatoes and throws it at **ozonebaby** ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/74 "2001-12-06T08:57:49Z")
(Boy, what a way to spend my 800th post…) _Digs self out of ketchup and creamed corn_ Ewwwwww… Ketchup and creamed corn can make a hard _crust_ to walk on! Bleargh… somebody complain to the artificial-additives department… _Shakes self vigorously, splattering anyone above the “crust”_ Ahhhh, much better. This room _looks up at ceiling, which is about a foot away from ears_ lacks just one more thing… _Runs out_ _Runs back in, lugging a huge vat of… JAM!_ _Fills the rest of the room up with nice, sticky, oozy, sweet strawberry jam_ _Saunters off, gleefully licking jam off paws_ ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@Dragon\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/75 "2001-12-06T08:58:15Z")
**HE**!?!?!?!? i’m a **SHE**!!! _calms down and then dumps a bucked of raw fish over **ozonebaby** _ ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/76 "2001-12-06T19:48:07Z")
_picks up a large fish and slaps dragon so hard with it she falls back and hits she head on a wall_ ha! _wipes herself off and picks up more ketchup, covering Cougar with it for getting her nice new clothes wet with jam_ again i say, ha! _sprays more ketchup everywhere and starts cooking the hot dogs_ _waits_ la da dum de dum. . . _hots dogs are done_ woo-hoo! _picks up a bottle of ketchup and smothers the hot dogs in ketchup_ anyone else? _puts whole thing in mouth and then eats 4 more the same way_ ahhhhhhhh. . . . . . . . . . . . . _rubs stomach and then drenches all the people, and things, trying to get out of the new mound of ketchup, with ketchup!_ ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/77 "2001-12-06T20:00:31Z")
_suddenly gets a light bulb_ \*runs to the fridge and takes out some frozen pie crusts, warms them up and begins to make. . .drumroll please. . . KETCHUP PIES!!! Brilliant isn’t it! _when she has made more than 50 pies, she throws one at everyone on the thread_ bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! _evil grin_ _saves the rest of the pies for later_ alright, it’s later! _hurls a pie at everyone again_ hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! _sneaks off the straight dope for a while, leaveing only empty ketchup bottles and wounded soldiers (the dopers) behind to lick each other’s ketchup_ ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203/78 "2001-12-07T08:48:43Z")
Mmmmmm… Ketchup… _Rolls in hot dogs_ _eats hot dogs with ketchup_ Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm… _goes off to stalk ozonebaby again, making damn sure it isn’t a relative (gotta love that DNA-analyzer implant…)_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-days-of-christmas-food-fight/96203.md?page=3)