# 25 Questions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958 "2001-03-14T15:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/21 "2001-03-15T02:54:47Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… **someone to call me a cab, I’m obviously lost and need to get home** 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… **to stop waving the gun around in public** 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… **Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and a pony** 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… **stractching my ass in public** 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… **someone not as good looking as me, that way the women flock to him for his money, but gravitate to me cuz I’m better looking** 6. when I am sad I… **beat up people smaller than I am to feel better about myself** 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… **Hi, my name is Crunchy Frog** 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… **like to know why the hell didn’t someone say something to me sooner!** 9. my sexiest feature(s)… **my ass is 100% pimple free** 10. the last movie that made me cry was… **Dude, Where’s My Car?** 11. in school, I enjoyed… **going home for the day** 12. I am inspired by… **people who email this sort of crap** 13. looking in my bag now, I have… **to wonder where this bag came from, cuz I sure as hell didn’t buy it** 14. as an activist i would fight… **animal abuse _(this will probably be my only serious answer in this post)_** 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… **stop masturbating** 16. the last time I hugged someone was… **that guy who handed me that penny I dropped at the gas station. That was so sweet of him!** 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… **the leather jockstrap, although it does chafe a little in the summertime** 18. most people don’t know this but I am… **Jesse Ventura’s godson** 19. if I could time-travel, I would… **go back to when I was 18 and signed my enlistment papers and slap the crap ot of myself** 20. to me, happiness is… **a good lay** 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… **me** 22. my childhood ambition was… **to build the greatest cardboard fort from old refrigerator boxes the world has ever seen!** 23. the one invention I could never live without… **the Pacemaker** 24. one thing I liked about my day today… **I didn’t get bills in the mail today** 25. best advice I ever got was… **never clean out your belly-button lint with anything sharper than a Q-Tip** ---
**Author:** ![Renton\_lvr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7feea3/32.png) [@Renton\_lvr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renton_lvr)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/22 "2001-03-15T04:24:36Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… Iced cappachino 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… To stop picking on my friends so much (they’re just such easy targets) 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… The Star Wars movies on DVD, $150,000 , and a boob job 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Asking too many “Would you rather…” or “Would you do (whatever) for a million dollars…” questions 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Ewan McGregor or Morrissey 6. when I am sad I… Cry 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… “You see my friend over there? He really likes you.” Talk about needing to grow a backbone. 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… Shoot heroin…might as well 9. my sexiest feature(s)… My mouth 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Can’t think of any…but I cry every time Jerri doesn’t get voted off on Survivor…does T.V. count? 11. in school, I enjoyed… Hanging with my friends and English class 12. I am inspired by… Wow this is so sad…I can’t think of anything 13. looking in my bag now, I have… A wallet, receipts, lipstick, and keys 14. as an activist i would fight… Cruelty to animals (but not in a PETA way) 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… Kill anyone 16. the last time I hugged someone was… Long enough that I can’t remember 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… Jeans 18. most people don’t know this but I am… Concerned with what others think of me 19. if I could time-travel, I would… Check out the year 3000 20. to me, happiness is… A lot more achievable than people think 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… Shirley Manson 22. my childhood ambition was… As changeable as my shoes 23. the one invention I could never live without… Paperback books 24. one thing I liked about my day today… Filling out this list 25. best advice I ever got was… I’ll let you know if I ever get any [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![SINsApple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SINsApple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SINsApple)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/23 "2001-03-15T05:03:51Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… A Caramel Mocha Frappacino, except that its Lent and I gave up caffeine (and it gives me heart palpitations anyway), so I guess water would do. 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… stop biting my nails 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… A Wacom Graphics Tablet, 128MB of RAM, not to spend xmas with my shite parents 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… talking waaaay too much 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Kevin Smith 6. when I am sad I… lock myself in my room and pull out of the world 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… Nice shoes . . . wanna fu@# 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… have 24 hours of hot steamy sex with anyone willing 9. my sexiest feature(s)… hair 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Six String Samurai 11. in school, I enjoyed… English (which is why I’m 2mos away from a major in it) 12. I am inspired by… Great movies and books 13. looking in my bag now, I have… The Collected Works of Shakespeare & Vergil’s Aenied in Latin 14. as an activist i would fight… Animal cruelty 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… eat another human being 16. the last time I hugged someone was… yesterday 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… skirts and nylons 18. most people don’t know this but I am… a bisexual manic depressive 19. if I could time-travel, I would… go back and live in the 70s (sex, drugs, and R&R) 20. to me, happiness is… good friends 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… Sarah Michelle Gellar (what a hottie) 22. my childhood ambition was… to be in Greenpeace 23. the one invention I could never live without… clothing (does that count as an invention??) 24. one thing I liked about my day today… scoring a B- on a Latin exam I thought I had failed 25. best advice I ever got was… don’t trust men ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/24 "2001-03-15T05:10:12Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by dodge\_this \* **1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order…** [QUOTE] A NATO Special. Coffee, large, double-double. > [@](#): > > 1. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep Eat healthier. > [@](#): > > 1. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year A DVD player, a new bed, and a big gift certificate to a nice clothing store. > [@](#): > > 1. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by Forgetting to return calls and deliver information I’ve promised. > [@](#): > > if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick George Clooney. > [@](#): > > 1. when I am sad I Play video games. > [@](#): > > 1. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard Best: (Gesturing towards my drunken buddies) “Are those your friends? (Yeah, why?) Well, do you like them enough to stay with them rather than coming back to my room?” Worst: “You look just like my brother!” (Really.) > [@](#): > > 1. if I had only 24 hours to live i would Get around to writing my will! > [@](#): > > 1. my sexiest feature(s) My blue eyes and my outstanding ass. > [@](#): > > 1. the last movie that made me cry was… “You’ve Got Mail,” just two weeks ago. > [@](#): > > 1. in school, I enjoyed History. > [@](#): > > 1. I am inspired by People who pursue noble causes at their own expense. > [@](#): > > 1. looking in my bag now, I have A change of clothes. > [@](#): > > 1. as an activist i would fight Fascism. The real kind, not the “nasty globalism capitalist corporate” kind that isn’t fascism at all. > [@](#): > > 1. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never Hurt an innocent person. > [@](#): > > 1. the last time I hugged someone was Mrs. RickJay, less than ten minutes ago. I hug and kiss her dozens of times a day. > [@](#): > > 1. my favourite article(s) of clothing My button fly Bluenotes jeans. > [@](#): > > 1. most people don’t know this but I am Totally incapable of snapping my fingers. > [@](#): > > 1. if I could time-travel, I would Go back to last week and leave myself the winning lottery numbers! > [@](#): > > 1. to me, happiness is Being with Mrs. RickJay the maximum possible amount of time. > [@](#): > > 1. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date Tall guys who don’t have hairy backs. Yuck. > [@](#): > > 1. my childhood ambition was Be a major league baseball player. > [@](#): > > 1. the one invention I could never live without I love my computer. > [@](#): > > 1. one thing I liked about my day today Watching “Law and Order” with Mrs. RickJay. > [@](#): > > 1. best advice I ever got was… From Steve McSherry in 1988, sitting in our high school cafeteria; “What other people think of you never matters. Just convince yourself you’re better than they think, and you will be.” ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/25 "2001-03-15T05:24:16Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… a bottled water 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… save more money throughout the year 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… computer add-ons, my car back (long story), clothes 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… being overly playful 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Jodie Foster 6. when I am sad I… eat alot of food 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… no comment 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… make a really large cheesecake and dive into it 9. my sexiest feature(s)… my eyes 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Babe 11. in school, I enjoyed… nothing high school sucked… alot 12. I am inspired by… no one (well I take that back when my girlfriend is all nekkid in front of me I’m pretty darn inspired) 13. looking in my bag now, I have… NOTHING!!! mwa-hahahaha i have no bag 14. as an activist i would fight… smoking 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… go on the Springer show 16. the last time I hugged someone was… today 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… my Hawaiian shirt from Old Navy and my Dungaree jeans 18. most people don’t know this but I am… really normal honest 19. if I could time-travel, I would… go forward in time learn all the best stocks to invest in then in a dash cunning move make millions and take over the world 20. to me, happiness is… spending time with my girlfriend 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… i have no idea never given any thought to something like this 22. my childhood ambition was… to become the first half human/half machine cyborg and take over the world! 23. the one invention I could never live without… KY Jelly 24. one thing I liked about my day today… no class 25. best advice I ever got was… your damned if you do and your damned if you dont ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/26 "2001-03-15T05:34:55Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… **something other than coffee. I hate coffee.** 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… **to actually make New Year’s resolutions.** 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… **a child of my own, another dog, a car.** 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… **talking too much.** 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… **Meg Ryan–maybe she’d share her secret for getting hot men to fall in love with her.** 6. when I am sad I… **don’t want to do anything at all.** 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… \*\*_“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”_–yes, I know it’s a song lyric but it was used and it wins for both best and worst. \*\* 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… **want to be with all my friends and family.** 9. my sexiest feature(s)… **my lips.** 10. the last movie that made me cry was… **I cannot remember.** 11. in school, I enjoyed… **in high school–everything, in college–not much of anything.** 12. I am inspired by… **nature.** 13. looking in my bag now, I have… **three notebooks for different classes, seven pencils, eight pens (all from pharmaceutical companies), three textbooks, four folders, White Out, three paper clips, two packs of gum, Advil, a hairbrush, two journals, Scan-Tron forms, my keys, an “I Read Banned Books” pin, four highlighters, a bag of _Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans_, a copy of _The Witches’ Datebook 2001_, Chapstick, hand lotion, and a copy of the campus newspaper.** 14. as an activist i would fight… **animal abuse, discrimination and anyone else who deserved it.** 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… **kill an animal.** 16. the last time I hugged someone was… **a few hours ago.** 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… **my boots, a white t-shirt and my orange sweater–but not together.** 18. most people don’t know this but I am… **not saying because then most people would know!** 19. if I could time-travel, I would… **do nothing just in case it messed up what is currently going on. That’s not a risk I am willing to take.** 20. to me, happiness is… **having people to love and having people who love you back.** 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… **me–there’s no one quite like me!** 22. my childhood ambition was… **to be a lawyer, married to a cowboy and have several kids–somewhere I got sidetracked on _all_ of that!** 23. the one invention I could never live without… **books.** 24. one thing I liked about my day today… **I actually got enough sleep!** 25. best advice I ever got was… **"It’s your life–if you don’t live it, no one else will do it for you."** ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/27 "2001-03-15T07:23:40Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… a mocha latte with a shot of hazelnut in the largest size they have. 1. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… is to quit smoking. 1. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… are a faster processor, more RAM, & a better video card. 1. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… being too honest and blunt. 1. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Kevin Spacey. 1. when I am sad I… dwell on it. 1. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… Excuse me, sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you’d be so kind as to tell me your name? Ahh, thank you. Now I finally have a name to go call the woman I’ve been dreaming about all these years. (or something very similar, was a man in his 50’s speaking to a drop dead gorgeous woman in her 20’s in a supermarket checkout line) 1. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… go on a rampage, or mope dejectedly. 1. my sexiest feature(s)… are my quick wit and my smile. 1. the last movie that made me cry was… Braveheart. 1. in school, I enjoyed… history and Earth science. 1. I am inspired by… some really sappy things. 1. looking in my bag now, I have… no idea where my bag is. 1. as an activist i would fight… for alternative fuel sources. 1. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… like getting up for work in the morning. 1. the last time I hugged someone was… about 2 hours ago. 1. my favourite article(s) of clothing… is my rusty, trusty, been through the war and back leather biker jacket. 1. most people don’t know this but I am… non confrontational. 1. if I could time-travel, I would… take a one way trip back to medieval times. 1. to me, happiness is… a long walk on a chilly autumn night, with no destination in mind and no rush to get there anyway. 1. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… someone that was independently wealthy. 1. my childhood ambition was… to change the world. 1. the one invention I could never live without… is the internet. 1. one thing I liked about my day today… was the closeness i felt toward my wife, something i haven’t felt in some time. 1. best advice I ever got was… use your head/don’t be an idiot. (thanks dad!) ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/28 "2001-03-15T08:07:55Z")
**1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order…** Hazelnut with cream and sugar. **2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep…** I circumvent this by not making New Year’s resolutions. **3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year…** Screw that. Just donate some money to charity in my name. **4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by…** Offering a cut-to-the-quick riposte to simple criticism. **5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick…** Conan O’Brien. **6. when I am sad I…** Appreciate being merely sad. **7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard…** At a party in college, the guy who was throwing the party was told by my friend that she was having a good time, or something. He replied along the lines of, “I know, I feel like Gatsby; he threw all those parties hoping that Daisy would come, but she never did. Except here you are.” My response when I heard it second-hand the next day: “You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.” But, my friend _bought it_. She hooked up with the guy. So it must not have been _that_ bad. (Of course, booze was involved, and the guy was a fairly fly-lookin’ man.) **8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would…** Probably squander it. **9. my sexiest feature(s)…** My intellect (I count my sense of humor as part of my intellect). **10. the last movie that made me cry was…** _The Iron Giant_. But you didn’t hear that from me. **11. in school, I enjoyed…** Skipping Italian class to go to Taco Bell. **12. I am inspired by…** [Warren Ellis](http://www.warrenellis.com/), [Steven Grant](http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=5), [Lea Hernandez](http://www.divalea.com/), and [Larry Young](http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=4). Also, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, because he breaks out of prison to do shows. How can you not respect that? **13. looking in my bag now, I have…** A few old pay stubs, my address book, old issues of _GQ_, _Scientific American_, and _Brill’s Content_, a pad, some pens, some articles printed off the web, _Climbing Mount Improbable_, by Richard Dawkins, and a padded shipping envelope. **14. as an activist i would fight…** For the advancement of creator-owned comics. **15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never…** Cheat an innocent person out of their money and/or dignity. **16. the last time I hugged someone was…** My mom, some time in the past week. **17. my favourite article(s) of clothing…** My new suit. **18. most people don’t know this but I am…** Uh-uh. A boy has to have some secrets. **19. if I could time-travel, I would…** Be rich. **20. to me, happiness is…** Hot sauce and beer. **21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date…** Lesbians. **22. my childhood ambition was…** To be a paleontologist. **23. the one invention I could never live without…** Books (at the least. If I could mainline interesting information directly into my veins, I would). **24. one thing I liked about my day today…** Listening to All Things Considered and Marketplace while eatin’ on some Burger King. **25. best advice I ever got was…** Ignored. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/29 "2001-03-15T20:26:34Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… whatever dark roast they have ready so I can fill up the permanent IV of coffee I have attached to my arm 1. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… doing a budget, but then I can’t count 1. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… enough money to get out of debt and start a savings account above the negative realm; world peace; all the parts I need to fix my busted spaceship so I can go home 1. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… being excessively silly and immature 1. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… ? 1. when I am sad I… write in my journal, read, call home and talk to my family, go shopping 1. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… a dude came up to me and started talking about how in emails people always spell “a lot” as “alot;” he maintained that this is the way the word should be spelled in general since it’s both a noun and a verb. Idiot. 1. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… have a wild party with friends & family where we talk about what we’re going to do at the next level we reach after death and make plans to meet somewhere; have mad sex; consume lots of alcohol until I pass out or die 1. my sexiest feature(s)… my eyes & smile 2. the last movie that made me cry was… it wasn’t a movie, but the episode of ER when the bishop dies after Kovac confesses how his wife & child died, poor baby. it was such a poignant moment that they could comfort each other the way that they did. 1. in school, I enjoyed… the freedom to party 1. I am inspired by… the example my parents set and the struggle of my ancestors to survive in the face of inhumanity 1. looking in my bag now, I have… which one? i have several and they’re all too full of junk to quantify at the present moment 1. as an activist i would fight… against ignorance of course 1. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… compromise my soul 1. the last time I hugged someone was… a few minutes ago I hugged my doggy Shnookums 😃 1. my favourite article(s) of clothing… tank tops, sweat pants, flannel boxer shorts, and a sweat jacket 1. most people don’t know this but I am… able to see and converse with ghosts and angels, but then I’m an alien from another planet so this is allowed 1. if I could time-travel, I would… keep my ass right where it is. time travel is dangerous, don’t you know that? 1. to me, happiness is… whatever I define it to be 1. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… whoever I was attracted to 1. my childhood ambition was… to grow up sane. I failed. 1. the one invention I could never live without… my eyeglasses. I’m blind as a bat. 1. one thing I liked about my day today… I made dinner and didn’t poison anyone. 1. best advice I ever got was… State your expectations clearly & stand by them. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/30 "2001-03-15T20:57:34Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order…Spam. What no Spam? Okay give me coffee and make it coffee flavored please. 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep…Host an orgy. 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year…cold hard cash, warm hard sex, a visit with my Mom and my sister. 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Tap dancing in the rain, or breaking into song in public places for no reason. 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick…Jamie Lee Curtis. Anything I could do to just be around this woman…mmmmmmmmmmm 6. when I am sad I…am very very quiet. 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard…“I may have a dick like a needle but I have an ass like a sewing machine to go with it” 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would…make a lot of phone calls, hug my kids for hours and try to kill myself and TG with lots of mind numbing sex. 9. my sexiest feature(s)…physical feature, my eyes. I happen to think my brain is sorta sexy too though. 10. the last movie that made me cry was…Armegeddon (the cheesy little kid stuff at the end gets me everytime) 11. in school, I enjoyed…Dramatic arts 12. I am inspired by…necessity. 13. looking in my bag now, I have…6 toys, a tin of Altoids, an unstamped passport and a bunch of old receipts 14. as an activist i would fight…for more people to get on the bone marrow registry.(Seriously, a minor inconvience in the scope of your life to SAVE someone else’s life!) 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never…be able to keep my house clean. 16. the last time I hugged someone was…about an hour ago, I can’t suvive a day without hugging my kids. 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing…my furry tiger striped men’s shirt. It looks like I skinned a stuffed animal and made a shirt from the pelt. 18. most people don’t know this but I am…a book-aholic. 19. if I could time-travel, I would…go back and tell myself, in great detail, how to stay out of debt. 20. to me, happiness is…curling up with a good book. 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date…Me, of course, or if Jamie Lee was willing, her in a second! 22. my childhood ambition was…To be a police officer. 23. the one invention I could never live without…my blender _I LOVE LOVE LOVE my blender_ 24. one thing I liked about my day today…my hair behaved without putting up it’s usual fight. 25. best advice I ever got was…Don’t sweat the small stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/31 "2001-03-16T05:06:49Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… **iced cafe mocha, with peyote** 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… **is last year’s** 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… **a triumvirate execution between Drew Barrymore, Macaulay Culkin, and Eminem, thus rocketing me to victory in the SDMB Celebrity Deathpool** 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… **my mere presence. The “asshole filter” of long hair doesn’t work at all with family** 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… **Muhammad. That dude set his family up for two dozen lifetimes** 6. when I am sad I… **become homicidal** 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… **I’m sad** 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… **do everything** pkbites\*\* ever wanted to do in a lifetime, and not tell him about it\*\* 9. my sexiest feature(s)… **undiscovered** 10. the last movie that made me cry was… **Bloodsucking Freaks. No, wait, that’s when I wished I could still remember how to cry** 11. in school, I enjoyed… **practical jokes on monumental scales, for which I was always caught** 12. I am inspired by… **practical jokers who have not been apprehended** 13. looking in my bag now, I have… **several other bags** 14. as an activist i would fight… **The Man** 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… **admit it, except to the IRS. They know all.** 16. the last time I hugged someone was… **disturbing** 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… **are the ones most likely to be stolen by others** 18. most people don’t know this but I am… **naked** 19. if I could time-travel, I would… **go back to WWII in a C-5 Galaxy and turn it into a high-rise apartment building in Rosslyn** 20. to me, happiness is… **ephemeral** 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… **the guy who would never figure out in a million years that I was cheating on him with me** 22. my childhood ambition was… **extinguished like a birthday candle** 23. the one invention I could never live without… **is Astroglide** 24. one thing I liked about my day today… **is that it’s better than yesterday and worse than tomorrow** 25. best advice I ever got was… **"be polite in jail’** ---
**Author:** ![JCThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dc4da7/32.png) [@JCThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JCThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/32 "2001-03-16T05:49:32Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… “Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt!!!” 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… N/A 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… My 2 front teeth - Oh, that’s only 2… & a good book. 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Telling them to be nicer. 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Micheal Jordan. 6. when I am sad I… Listen to music & call a friend. 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… Best: “Nice shoes, wanna f\*\*k?” Worst: “You be my Dairy Queen, & I’ll be your Burger King.” “You treat me right, & I’ll give it to you your way, right away.” 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… Freak out & then gather my friends for a party which would include a pool on my time of death. 9. my sexiest feature(s)… My sex. 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Snatch (Laughing). 11. in school, I enjoyed… Art History. 12. I am inspired by… my friends. 13. looking in my bag now, I have… Real estate documents, flashlight, measuring tape, pens, stapler, sunglasses, etc… 14. as an activist i would fight… The Joker - Oh, thought you said superhero. 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… Kill anyone. 16. the last time I hugged someone was… 48hrs. 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… My black leather boot/shoes. 18. most people don’t know this but I am… 165 lbs. 19. if I could time-travel, I would… Go back to hang with my dad when he was my age. 20. to me, “happiness is… a warm gun”\<–(beatles song). Seriously, laughing with friends. 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… a member of the same sex. 22. my childhood ambition was… to be a comedian. 23. the one invention I could never live without… Cell Phone. 24. one thing I liked about my day today… talking to my parents. 25. best advice I ever got was… “You’re not sleeping with any loose women, are you?” ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/33 "2001-03-16T06:39:28Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… Orange juice. Failing that, tea. I hate coffee. 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… not to make resolutions. Damnit. 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… 4. A knife. 5. Another knife. 6. An oppourtunity to yell ‘HI OPAL!’ 🙂 7. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Sitting on the computer for hours and hours on end reading threads like this 8. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Can I pick King Arthur? well sure I can. It’s my survey… 9. when I am sad I… Talk to the SO, or failing that, take it out on my punching bag. 10. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… ‘You’re being really unfair, you know.’ ‘What? How?’ ‘Sitting there, looking all good and not giving me your number…’ 11. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… Do a lot of really fun, dangerous things. Skydiving. Mountain climbing, maybe. And in my last hours, I’d get laid. Repeatedly. Now THAT’S the way to go, folks! 12. my sexiest feature(s)… no idea. Cute ass? 😃 13. the last movie that made me cry was… I wont tell you. _snif_ 14. in school, I enjoyed… Skipping. Also, gym. 15. I am inspired by… Nature. And myself. 16. looking in my bag now, I have… I have no bag. Looking in my pockets, I find keys, wallet, change, at least one knife, the labels from the drinks I’ve had today, and various other useless crap 17. as an activist i would fight… Lots of stuff, I guess… 18. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… Eat vegetables by themselve. Yech. 19. the last time I hugged someone was… Like, an hour or two ago. 20. my favourite article(s) of clothing… My lucky bandana. My cargos. my tank tops. The jacket the SO gave me. And my Joe Boxer collection. 😃 21. most people don’t know this but I am… not certifiably insane. Yet. 22. if I could time-travel, I would… Go back in time and buy lots of Microsoft and Coca-Cola when they were first starting up. 23. to me, happiness is… the outdoors. camping, survival, etc. 24. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… Women. I’d be such a lesbian… 25. my childhood ambition was… To be a Dinosaur. I was not a futute minded child. 26. the one invention I could never live without… Steel, baby. 27. one thing I liked about my day today… eheh… eheheheh… AAAHAHAHAH! _Mnementh looks very, very smug and happy_ 28. best advice I ever got was… When the screen goes blank, resist urge to put fist through monitor. Yes, I actually had this pointed out to me. ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/34 "2001-03-16T19:53:07Z")
**1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order…** Plain, black coffee **2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep…** Flossing on a regular basis **3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year…** A car, a computer, money for college **4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by…** trying to be witty **5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick…** Sharon Stone **6. when I am sad I…** take a bubble bath **7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard…** pickup lines? what are those? **8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would…** spend it all just being with my honey **9. my sexiest feature(s)…** my voice…been told I should be a phone sex operator 😉 **10. the last movie that made me cry was…** Movie? Uh, I dunno, but I saw the play _Wit_ last night and cried harder than I have at any movie in a long time. **11. in school, I enjoyed…** reading a novel in class, hidden inside my big textbook **12. I am inspired by…** compliments **13. looking in my bag now, I have…** an EM Forster book, my planner, body spray, a script for a play I was cast in, medical bills & claim forms, a notebook, The Onion, pens, my checkbook, BC pills, arthritis & migraine meds, hand lotion, 3 Count Basie CDs and a play program from last night. **14. as an activist i would fight…** overpopulation **15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never…** have sex with a horse **16. the last time I hugged someone was…** this morning when my SO went home and I went to work **17. my favourite article(s) of clothing…** my loose black cotton pants and grey tanktop **18. most people don’t know this but I am…** a damn good ballroom dancer **19. if I could time-travel, I would…** send everybody but a few friends back to the beginning of time **20. to me, happiness is…** “a warm pee-pee” **21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date…** women **22. my childhood ambition was…** to grow up **23. the one invention I could never live without…** the printing press (no books! eek!) **24. one thing I liked about my day today…** someone gave me chocolate at work **25. best advice I ever got was…** “use discretion” ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/35 "2001-03-17T22:54:21Z")
1. Walking into a coffee bar, I would order … the waitress to bring me a straight, black coffee because, as I would explain, I like my coffee like I like my women : hot, black and bitter. But she would probably just give me a funny look and ignore me throughout the rest of my breakfast. 2. The one new year’s resolution I can never keep … to stop masturbating. It’s usually broken by about 12:01 New Years Day. 3. Three things I’d like to have for christmas this year … true love, world peace and Anna Nicole Smith. 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by … insisting that my jokes are funny. 5. If I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick … John Cage. Except that he’s already dead and finally got the silence he wanted. 6. When I am sad I … watch TV to see what else is on. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. 7. The best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… “Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I’m here after!” 8. If I had only 24 hours to live i would … live it as a blonde! 9. My sexiest feature(s) … a fairly large … nevermind. 10. The last movie that made me cry was … Schindler’s List. It still does too. I cannot watch the ending of that movie without bursting into tears. 11. In school, I enjoyed … cutting and pasting construction paper into decorative shapes. This was in high school, mind you. 12. I am inspired by … music. And noise. Is there a difference? 13. Looking in my bag now, I have … testicles. Okay, so I can’t look IN the bag, but I assume they’re in there. 14. As an activist i would fight … movie editing into lousy pan and scan versiosn. It’s not the most noble fight, but it really bugs me. 15. Even if you paid me a million dollars I would never … give Ross Perot oral sex. 16. The last time I hugged someone was … just this afternoon. My daughter gave me a big hug because she knew I was feeling crappy. 17. My favourite article(s) of clothing … a pair of socks with Snoopy as Joe Cool saying Merry Christmas. 18. Most people don’t know this but I am … possibly bisexual. 19. If I could time-travel, I would … fix that damn o-ring on the Space Shuttle. 20. To me, happiness is … fleeting and just out of reach 21. If I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date … Kate Winslet. I’d also be a lesbian. 22. My childhood ambition was … to conduct the an all vocal version of Ives “The Unanswered Question” or New York Philharmonic performing Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. 23. The one invention I could never live without … contact paper. 24. One thing I liked about my day today … I survived getting wisdom teeth extracted. 25. Best advice I ever got was … “just don’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/36 "2001-03-17T23:35:10Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… Large latte 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… to lose weight 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… a new car a vacation somewhere warm someone wrapped under the tree 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… making bad puns 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… Jack Nickolson 6. when I am sad I… tend to grump and mope 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… do you wanna f\*\*\* 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… call up someone and tell them how I really feel (in a good way) and spend the rest of the day playing with my niece and nephew. 9. my sexiest feature(s)… is my eyes 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Toy Story 2 11. in school, I enjoyed… social studies 12. I am inspired by… nature 13. looking in my bag now, I have… nothing I emptied it this morning 14. as an activist i would fight… to ensure everybody feels good about themselves 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… sleep with a dolphin 16. the last time I hugged someone was… last weekend 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… is an old pair of jeans 18. most people don’t know this but I am… a good amateur photographer 19. if I could time-travel, I would… meet Shakespeare 20. to me, happiness is… being with someone who cares for you as much as you care for them 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… Bruce Springsteen 22. my childhood ambition was… to be an astronaut…or farmer 23. the one invention I could never live without… the computer 24. one thing I liked about my day today… having breakfast with my friends 25. best advice I ever got was… if you don’t learn to love yourself you will never be able to love others ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/37 "2001-03-17T23:59:21Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… A caffe mocha with about five shots of espresso and whipped cream 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… I don’t make resolutions. 3. three things I’d like to have for Hanukkah this year… A new computer, a digital camera and a new printer 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Finishing sentences 😃 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… I dunno… most of them annoy me. 6. when I am sad I… Go into chat and laugh for a bit 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… (best)Who the hell picked this music? It sucks! (worst)Any other line 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… Get a large bottle of vodka and a carton of cigarettes 9. my sexiest feature(s)… My eyes and my personality 10. the last movie that made me cry was… _Life_ with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence 11. in school, I enjoyed… Latin, ROTC, speech and journalism 12. I am inspired by… Anyone with enough balls to tell the establishment where they can get off 13. looking in my bag now, I have… My wallet, PDA, cell phone, three books (it’s a backpack) and some random papers and loose change 14. as an activist i would fight… Ignorance 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… Have sex with a dolphin 16. the last time I hugged someone was… This afternoon, when I packed my husband off to work 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… My jean skirt. I know I don’t look my best in it, but I still like it. It’s comfortable and feminine at the same time. 18. most people don’t know this but I am… A recovering alcoholic 19. if I could time-travel, I would… Go back to March, 1994 and seen a real obstetrician. 20. to me, happiness is… A warm puppy 😃 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… What kind of a question is this? 22. my childhood ambition was… To be a brain surgeon or a telephone operator 23. the one invention I could never live without… What do you think?! 24. one thing I liked about my day today… I got to spend it with people I like, even if it was on the Net 25. best advice I ever got was… Don’t wear brown shoes with a blue suit ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/38 "2001-03-18T01:04:43Z")
1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order… Single Tall Mocha 2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep… I don’t make resolutions, because I don’t want to feel guilty for not keeping them. Besides they never work. I think people only make them out of obligation and not necessarily a real motivation to change. 3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year… A new computer, a Bar-b-Que, DVD Player 4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by… Attempting to be funny 5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick… James Hetfield or Steven Tyler 6. when I am sad I… Spend time alone. 7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard… You like Oranges? Wanna fuck? 8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would… Invite all my best friends and family over for dinner and memories 9. my sexiest feature(s)… I really don’t see anything sexy about me. Katie would disagree, but what would she know. 10. the last movie that made me cry was… Oh, I’ll take crap for this, because I know it was contrived. Armageddon 11. in school, I enjoyed… Hanging out with friends. Tutoring statistics. 12. I am inspired by… Music, Katie 13. looking in my bag now, I have… My bag? 14. as an activist i would fight… Discrimination 15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never… Give a man a blow job! 😛 16. the last time I hugged someone was… Last night 17. my favourite article(s) of clothing… My Nashville Predators and Colorado Avalanche hockey shirts 18. most people don’t know this but I am… Afraid of dying alone 19. if I could time-travel, I would… be very rich! 20. to me, happiness is… Love and Acceptance 21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date… Lord, I don’t know. 22. my childhood ambition was… To play Baseball 23. the one invention I could never live without… Radio 24. one thing I liked about my day today… I was able to stay for a full day of work, without being sent home early w/o pay 25. best advice I ever got was… You buy presents for everybody else for Christmas and their Birthday. Why do you always forget yourself? Don’t forget to buy yourself a present! ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/39 "2001-03-18T01:39:10Z")
**1. walking into a coffee bar, I would order…** Nothing. I don’t like coffee-bar fancy stuff. I like cappucino from truck stops. 🙂 **2. the one new year’s resolution I can never keep…** “Be nicer to people this year.” **3. three things I’d like to have for christmas this year…** Gunslinger, a hot rod and a stocking full of cash. **4. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by…** Refusing to shut up. **5. if I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick…** Julia Roberts. (First name that popped into my head.) **6. when I am sad I…** Put on some music (_Monster Ballads_, Gary Allan’s _Smoke Rings In The Dark_ or some early Garth Brooks), curl up with a cup of tea and read a book. **7. the best/worst pickup line I’ve ever heard…** worst - “Heeeeey baby, you 21 yet?” best/funniest - [monotone]“Hello, little girl. Your mother’s been hurt. I’ll take you to her. Would you like some candy?” **8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would…** Make hot’n’wild wildebeest love (monkeys are overrated) to Gunslinger, and write to all my loved ones to tell them they don’t suck, after all. **9. my sexiest feature(s)…** I don’t know. **10. the last movie that made me cry was…** _The Land Before Time_, when Littlefoot’s mother dies. I was six. **11. in school, I enjoyed…** Oral Interp class, which was basically “the teacher who looks upon all of her students as her children, giving us cookies and milk while we talk about ourselves and tell funny stories.” A huge school-sanctioned support group. Physics is also cool. **12. I am inspired by…** The weather. If it’s nice out I feel like I can do anything. If it’s snowing I want to crawl under a rock and die. **13. looking in my bag now, I have…** PEZ, a lighter, a package of toothpicks, my wallet, a rubber duckie, and a scrap of paper with somebody’s phone number on it **14. as an activist i would fight…** Hate groups. **15. even if you paid me a million dollars I would never…** Kill a human being in cold blood. **16. the last time I hugged someone was…** The last time I actively hugged someone was a few months ago, when my best friend wrecked her car in my presence and I felt she needed comfort. The last time I let myself be hugged by someone else was in school last week, by one of the freshmen I’ve adopted. **17. my favourite article(s) of clothing…** The jeans I’m wearing right now, my vintage Richard Petty pit crew t-shirt, my button-down pit crew shirt for the DIRT team, and my pretty bra **18. most people don’t know this but I am…** Very affectionate somewhere in there. **19. if I could time-travel, I would…** Go back 20 years and meet my grandparents. And on the way forwards, I’d stop off and meet Greg Moore. **20. to me, happiness is…** A fast car, an open road and a sunny day **21. if I was a member of the opposite sex, I would date…** Nobody. I’d be a skanky loser grease monkey. **22. my childhood ambition was…** To be an archaelogist **23. the one invention I could never live without…** The telephone **24. one thing I liked about my day today…** Nothing. I have had a terrible, horrible, very bad day. **25. best advice I ever got was…** Nobody ever gives me advice. If they do I don’t listen, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958/40 "2001-03-18T04:05:31Z")
I’m morally opposed to these (damned email chainletters), so I’ll just comment. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > **8. if I had only 24 hours to live i would…** > Make hot’n’wild wildebeest love (monkeys are overrated) to Gunslinger… You’d do that anyway, though… > [@](#): > > **9. my sexiest feature(s)…** > I don’t know. Definitely the Chikkiboobies. 😃 > [@](#): > > **14. as an activist i would fight…** > Hate groups. There’s a joke to that, but I’m too tired to remember it. > [@](#): > > **17. my favourite article(s) of clothing…** > …and my pretty bra Very pretty 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-questions/57958.md?page=3)