# 25 years on the SDMB, and I still don't know the secret handshake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2025, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088 "2025-07-19T20:35:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/1 "2025-07-19T20:35:19Z")
If you were the young gentleman at Terminal ‘C’ in Las Vegas waiting for the Albuquerque flight, while surfing the SDMB on your tablet as i walked by, I would have offered my hand to see if you knew the secret handshake. This would have confirmed of you were an initiated member, or if you’d just stumbled across the Boards. But apparently, _I don’t know it either,_ and I’d be awkwardly remiss if I tried to gauge your interest or membership without knowing the proper protocols. They don’t tell me nuthin’ round here. Tripler Making things awkward since well before May of 2000. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/2 "2025-07-19T20:47:35Z")
As a retired personal property appraiser myself, I would like to know how many, ahem, Stradivariuses you see in a year? I would usually see 6 or 7. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/3 "2025-07-19T20:57:15Z")
It’s a verbal not a handshake, but I’ve said too much. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/4 "2025-07-19T20:58:36Z")
I see many, ahem, Stradivarii each year, of many sizes and shapes, but this doesn’t get me any closer to the handshake or secret hand signal. I mean c’mon now, its not like I’m looking for a moderator coffee mug or anything here. Tripler I don’t wanna be wandering around tellin’ people to steal third base, either/ ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/5 "2025-07-19T21:35:56Z")
It’s a look. Non-verbal. Oddly dressed and wearing quirky shoes and perhaps stripedy socks that don’t actually match. Has cat hair on their clothes. And absent mindedly nit picks your choices and words. Yep. Doper. Everytime. in my imagination ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/6 "2025-07-19T21:50:57Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oddly dressed and wearing quirky shoes and perhaps stripedy socks that don’t actually match. > Has cat hair on their clothes. A third thing could be saying hi to Opal. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/7 "2025-07-19T22:14:06Z")
Just what I was thinking. “Hail Cecil” would also work ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2025, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/8 "2025-07-19T22:25:54Z")
Opal was before me. I always feel slightly guilty using that phrase. I did toss around the idea of getting it put on a shirt. I settled on “just a girl who loves Andy”. Present company excepted. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/9 "2025-07-20T01:04:53Z")
Loudly yell out “Hey! Any Dopers here?”. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/10 "2025-07-20T01:12:51Z")
Secret handshake: you pass some mexican fat burners while shaking. and say ‘Gotcha ya!’ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/11 "2025-07-20T01:42:33Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Loudly yell out “Hey! Any Dopers here?”. “Cite?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/12 "2025-07-20T01:51:03Z")
Excellent! My first name is Cecil, as was my Father’s. I’ve considered changing my user name, but I fear that hordes of 'Dopers would surround my home with torches. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/13 "2025-07-20T02:26:29Z")
Oh, Carni\*, you mustn’t say such things. \*nickname ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/14 "2025-07-20T02:29:21Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oddly dressed and wearing quirky shoes and perhaps stripedy socks that don’t actually match. > Has cat hair on their clothes. > > And absent mindedly nit picks your choices and words. This is half of the company I work for . . . Doesn’t really narrow things down. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Loudly yell out “Hey! Any Dopers here?”. Now that recreational marajuana’s legal 'round these parts, it might just be confusing. And I am **not** yelling this in an airport I get hassled there enough, TYVM. . . > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > My first name is Cecil, as was my Father’s… What I _read_ was: “_My name is Cecil. You killed my father. Prepare to die . . ._” ETA: We need something to disambiguate the members from ‘stumble-acrossers’. Tripler We need t-shirts an’ ball caps. Do we have ballcaps? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/15 "2025-07-20T02:30:44Z")
You cook it up. I’ll buy one. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/16 "2025-07-20T02:37:14Z")
I’m on it. I can see it now . . . T-shirts boldly emblazoned w/“If you don’t MPSIMS, you aren’t with Cecil.” and “Vote for Cecil.” In red iron-on lettering. And “tactical” gear. Lots of “tactical” slide rules and coffee mugs. Tripler I’m on to something, I can feel it. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/17 "2025-07-20T02:42:50Z")
On second thought, we gotta be careful about this. We can’t be advertising all willy-nilly. We do have _standards_ to maintain . . . Tripler Gotta maintan the delicate (cool and hip person) / (dipstick) ratio. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/18 "2025-07-20T02:43:53Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > I’m on to something, I can feel it. Whatever it is, you should put it down, back away from it slowly, and take a long nap. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/19 "2025-07-20T02:43:56Z")
How soon the feet of clay fall apart 😀 I was all set to send you some start up cash. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/20 "2025-07-20T02:48:53Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > “Hail Cecil” would also work You need to be more specific lest someone be under the impression that you are hailing [the wrong Cecil](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_Rhodes). I think it is more along the lines of sounding someone out to see if they are an _Arrested Development_ devotee or a fan of _The Wire_: you make a few oblique references (“I never thought I’d miss a hand so much!” or “Close that door, man,”) and see if you get an appropriate response. I assume for the Straight Dope it would be something involving airplanes and treadmills. Stranger [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088.md?page=2)