# 25 years on the SDMB, and I still don't know the secret handshake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2025, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088 "2025-07-19T20:35:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/41 "2025-07-20T18:03:50Z")
The Straight Dope standard: [![](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41U25stda1L._AC_.jpg) ](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41U25stda1L._AC_.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/42 "2025-07-20T19:04:25Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > If your use of the word “cromulent” elicits _no_ visible reaction, I think you’re about 90+% of the way there. That may be a better user name than Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/43 "2025-07-20T19:07:13Z")
No problem, they are British, who invented a language they cannot speak. But I digress. That is pronounced “Sess sull”. I see no confusion. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/44 "2025-07-20T19:49:15Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > > [@DavidNRockies](#): > > > > If your use of the word “cromulent” elicits _no_ visible reaction, I think you’re about 90+% of the way there. > > That may be a better user name than Cecil. It’s actually a valid user name, tied to an active user 🙂 > **[@cromulent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cromulent/summary)** ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/45 "2025-07-20T20:32:02Z")
My license plate frame says “OG SMASH” — does that count? (ETA: I just realized that it’s exactly seven letters if I leave out the space, which is exactly the custom plate limit here in the Soviet. But I don’t know if I want to shell out the extra fee every year.) ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/46 "2025-07-20T20:54:11Z")
I wouldn’t mind an Eric Stratton-esque handshake: a smile, a firm grip and “Hi, I’m @username, damn glad to meet you!” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/47 "2025-07-20T20:59:09Z")
Well, shucks. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2025, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/48 "2025-07-20T23:42:00Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > > > Oddly dressed and wearing quirky shoes and perhaps stripedy socks that don’t actually match. > > Has cat hair on their clothes. > > A third thing could be saying hi to Opal. That’s the password! The countersign is “You bet your sweet ass I am.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/49 "2025-07-21T00:28:24Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > It’s a look. > Non-verbal. > Oddly dressed and wearing quirky shoes and perhaps stripedy socks that don’t actually match. > Has cat hair on their clothes. Yes, it’s a look, but the it’s subtle because “the look” varies. For instance, no socks at all (too hard to put on) and **dog** hair on the clothes (Dopers love pets, but it’s long been established that maintaining a cat-house isn’t the only way to do it!). Also, a perpetual scowl that suggests annoyance with the world, which is not unfolding according to the preference of the subject under study, is more evidence that the subject may be a Doper. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/50 "2025-07-21T00:34:37Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You’re supposed to ask, “Are you a friend of Cecil?” the same as a member of AA might ask “Are you a friend of Bill”? This is it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/51 "2025-07-21T00:37:34Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > NO! Not The Squid! I still have tentacle scars on my… What did you _do_ to get so lucky? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/52 "2025-07-21T00:42:53Z")
Merely say to a suspected Doper either of the following: “I think ketchup on a hotdog is an abomination”, or “I think beans in chili should be punishable by death.” If no hour-long dissertation on the wrongness of your beliefs doesn’t ensue, or the person bolts for the exit, then it’s an ordinary citizen. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/53 "2025-07-21T01:15:50Z")
Of course, dog hair or a chewed up toe on your sandal. Maybe a bit of duct tape to hold straps on. Just say, “Look, I could’ve had my sandal fixed professionally, but I did it better and cheaper at home. Do you know what direction the colonostomy surgical suite is, per chance?” Yep. Doper will show themselves. ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/54 "2025-07-21T01:25:20Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > What are these “standards” of which you speak? They’re kinda like goalposts, except they move. ---
**Author:** ![Twoflower](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twoflower/32/22_2.png) [@Twoflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twoflower)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/55 "2025-07-21T02:05:34Z")
We have a neighbor with a pet cat named Opal. They’ve never admitted that they know of SDMB. Must be staying incognito until I come up with the secret handshake. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/56 "2025-07-21T06:50:28Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > A third thing could be saying hi to Opal. Wow, I was just thinking about her yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/57 "2025-07-21T07:12:10Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You’re supposed to ask, “Are you a friend of Cecil?” the same as a member of AA might ask “Are you a friend of Bill”? That’s it. That’s the secret handshake, right there. “Are you a friend of Cecil?” A “Yes” means that you are a Doper. A “What? Huh? I don’t get it,” means that you are not. I suggest that we adopt this as our secret handshake: “Are you a friend of Cecil?” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/58 "2025-07-21T16:24:36Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Maybe you’re supposed to use the codephrase **14 k of g in a fpd**. > [@Shoeless](#): > > Isn’t the secret code phrase “I burning your dog”? I don’t know if there’s a general password, but if you see someone surfing the Dope on their phone, the magic words are, “It’s taking longer than we thought.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/59 "2025-07-21T16:49:29Z")
The good news is, there is a secret handshake, and I can tell you what it is. The bad news is, you don’t have enough tentacles to be able to perform it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2025, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088/60 "2025-07-21T16:54:37Z")
I thought the phrase was “Do you have a minute to heard the Word of Og?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/25-years-on-the-sdmb-and-i-still-dont-know-the-secret-handshake/1021088.md?page=4)