# 2nd Annual Doper Turkey Day Food Fight... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839 "2001-11-23T02:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/1 "2001-11-23T02:21:50Z")
We had so much fun last year… FOOD FIGHT!!! _arm yourselves!_ ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/2 "2001-11-23T02:25:31Z")
This wishbone makes a _ **great** _ slingshot when you put a rubber band across the ends! Now, who do I point the splotch of stuffing at? Bwa ha ha hah! ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/3 "2001-11-23T02:54:09Z")
Mashed Potatoes, Coming Through! ::dumps a ladle’s worth of gravy on **Guin’s** hair:: ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/4 "2001-11-23T02:56:12Z")
a good drumstick with theskin still on makes a surprisingly good projectile. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/5 "2001-11-23T02:57:32Z")
::Indiscriminately flings a huge handfull of yucky tinned cranberry sauce towards the other end of the table:: ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/6 "2001-11-23T03:09:22Z")
Who brought these _whipped_ sweet potatoes?!? Infidels! :: lobs a fistful across the room, hitting the portrait of Winston Churchill above **Zenster’s** head :: Uh oh. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/7 "2001-11-23T03:12:18Z")
Hey, JavaMaven, think fast! :::heaves one big, steaming glop of mashed rutabaga::: Nothin’ but net. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/8 "2001-11-23T03:13:58Z")
So, you don’t like the fake, can-shapped cranberry sauce, eh? You want the _real_ kind, you say? Well, here ya go! _hurls a big wad of the nasty real sauce stuff straight at Zenster’s head_ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/9 "2001-11-23T04:10:38Z")
Hmm. I have this grape juice and this REAL cranberry sauce here, and … ::spots the OPer herself:: Hey, **Guin** , I’ve been meaning to talk to you about? ::throws the plate of sauce and the glass of juice at **Guin** :: How you’d look with _that_ on you. Nah, not yer color … ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/10 "2001-11-23T04:10:57Z")
\*grabs the can of whip cream, aims at **bouv** HA HA!!! _squirts some in her mouth first_ ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/11 "2001-11-23T04:16:26Z")
::scrapes away a faceful of _more_ yucky tinned cranberry sauce:: ::flings a whipped cream laden pumpkin pie at **bouv** while making Three Stooges noises:: ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/12 "2001-11-23T08:35:52Z")
Woohoo! Good fight! _grabs the green bean casserole and begins flinging spoonfuls indescriminately around the room at assembled Dopers_ ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/13 "2001-11-23T15:06:05Z")
:grabs a couple freshly buttered rolls: :throws one roll at **punha** and one at **Zenster** before ducking quickly out of site: ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/14 "2001-11-23T15:10:54Z")
_sniff_ how immature… [silence] YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! _jumps right in the middle of the fight, flinging sweet peas and gravy wildly_ ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/15 "2001-11-23T18:05:36Z")
Alright! I got the pumpkin pie, AND the whipped cream to go with it! What else do we got here? Ah! _hefts the HUGE 50 lb turkey (yes, 50 lbs! (hey, we got a LOT of people here)) over his head, looks for victim, realizes turkey is too heavy and falls on his ass_ Ouch! Alright, I’ll just throw some of this nasty stuffing with raisins in it. (Really now, who puts raisins is stuffing? The nerve of some people) _hurls nasty raisin laiden stuffing into the crowd_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/16 "2001-11-23T19:05:51Z")
Hmmm…well, how would you like some mashed potatos! _launches a mini catapault of mashers at **iampunha** _ Ha! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/17 "2001-11-23T22:45:12Z")
::opens his mouth for the potatoes 'cuz he’s damn hungry:: :: potatoes hit him square in the gut :: ::staggers back, à la Inigo Montoya from _Princess Bride_:: My last words: “No kiss for you at Phillydope, **Guin**.” ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/18 "2001-11-23T23:09:17Z")
What’s goin- SMACK!! _wipes pumpkin pie out of hair_ Alright that’s enough! who started this food fight?! now stop it everyone!! i said stop! STOP!. . .SMACK! _wipes whipped cream out ears_[sigh] ah, well. . . _picks up cranberry sauce bowl and hurls across the room_ Oops! sorry Guin! it must have slipped! _evil grin as Guin wipes stuff out of her eyes_ _picks up whipped cream_ why, iampunha! have you grown a white beard for Christmas? _another evil grin_ ;)ah ha ha ha ha! good fight! lets not stop now! ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/19 "2001-11-23T23:15:28Z")
Hmmmmmm…this turkey doesn’t have enough stuffing. \ That’s better.😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/20 "2001-11-24T00:03:42Z")
Brussel sprouts are excellent projectiles… See?? I can throw them there and there and there and there and… \ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839.md?page=2)