# 2nd Annual Doper Turkey Day Food Fight... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839 "2001-11-23T02:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/21 "2001-11-24T01:23:13Z")
::wakes up from coma induced by lack of oxygen from turkey:: ::finds a nice glob of gravy and some mashed potatoes:: ::makes Jester a new seat. On his seat:: Hey, Jester, dude, we **got** a bathroom. Ain’t no need to … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/22 "2001-11-24T01:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > Brussel sprouts are excellent projectiles… See?? Hell, that’s about _all_ the gross little things are good for! Least I’ll throw you something that _tastes_ good. ::_cuts two slices of pecan pie, hurls them at **Guin** and **FCM** _:: ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/23 "2001-11-24T01:59:52Z")
Pecan Pie? What the hell is that, **RT**? Go with the original gag, my friend. A … ::grabs cream pie from table and sticks it in **RTFirefly** ’s face:: THAT! ::RUNNING AS FAST AS HE CAN:: ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/24 "2001-11-24T02:06:00Z")
_Gglmmbpht!!_ %&$#@! kids… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/25 "2001-11-24T02:10:50Z")
::while **RT** is temporarily blinded, **punha** runs out the door and sees **TruePisces** sneaking around with a big pot of … :: ::whispering:: Hey, **TruePisces** , want some help with that? I know where **Jester** and **Guin** are hiding, and there’s a big pile of brussel sprouts leading to **FCM**. Whaddya say, partners in crime?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/26 "2001-11-24T03:44:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*Hmmmmmm…this turkey doesn’t have enough stuffing. > > \ > > That’s better.😃 \*\* You forgot the gravy! _pours gravy down the back of **Jester** ’s pants_ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/27 "2001-11-24T05:10:23Z")
Thank you **Guin** for not tossing the stuff down MY pants:) ::along with **TruePisces** , tosses the pot of hot liquid over **FCM** and **Jester** ’s heads:: ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/28 "2001-11-24T14:13:42Z")
Hey, **punha** , this “partners in crime” thing is working out pretty good. I see some of the raw veggies left over from the appetizers. Think they could use a little garnish? :crawls over to the platter of veggies and _lots_ of ranch dressing. She slides it carefully off the table and sneaks back over to **punha** : On three? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/29 "2001-11-24T14:16:37Z")
And now I’m going to have to get **lurker** with some of those veggies for impersonating me again. :decides to forget the veggies and throws the bowl of ranch dressing at **lurker** instead. Grins at him and throws him a kiss before ducking back down behind relative cover.: ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/30 "2001-11-24T14:28:16Z")
ah-HAH! _there’s_ the pritty little fairy… _chucks a glop of mashed sprouts back at **FairyChatMom** _ _ducks_ \*throws corn-on-the-cob at **Jester** ( see, there’s an advantage to being sma- _SPLAT_ &_^%&(^_&^!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/31 "2001-11-24T15:40:39Z")
\ Now you’re all in biiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble. Hey **punha** and **True Pisces**! Heads up! \ Heh heh. \ That’s for saying you don’t like leftovers! [sub]Oh, and the whole “gravy down the pants” thing, too.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/32 "2001-11-24T15:51:56Z")
Damn you, **Jester**! Now you’re really in for it! :starts lobbing carrots and broccoli at **Jester** , pausing only long enough to reach behind her and grab the can of whipped cream. She stands up quickly, aims and…: DIE JESTER DIE!!! ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/33 "2001-11-24T17:36:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*And now I’m going to have to get **lurker** with some of those veggies for impersonating me again. > > :decides to forget the veggies and throws the bowl of ranch dressing at **lurker** instead. Grins at him and throws him a kiss before ducking back down behind relative cover.: \*\* Oh yeah. Like I’m ever up at 9 am on Saturday. You know that was you… ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/34 "2001-11-24T17:37:00Z")
_picks up stuffing bowl and uses a spoon to catapulte it towards iampunha and TruePisces_ AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! _ducks under a table and finds a turkey no one used yet_ he-he-he! _evil grin_ _jumps out from under table and throws turkey across the room, no particular target_ oh shit. _it hits TruePisces who still has veges left_ _runs like the wind while she still can_ ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/35 "2001-11-24T17:43:02Z")
**lurker** , if you thought you’d get something good out of it, you’d be up at 5 am! (Of course, that doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t go right back to bed afterwards…) **ozonebaby** , you’re in for it now! :lobs the last of her veggies at **ozonebaby** and looks around for something else to arm herself with: Ah, the candied yams! :runs after **ozonebaby** with a handful of yams dripping in their juice, sticky marshmallows hanging on resolutely: ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/36 "2001-11-24T18:02:32Z")
YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HELP, A MAD PERSON IS AFTER ME!!! _stops running_ what am i doing?! _picks up a pumokin pie, aims and fires!_ _while Guin is temporarilly blinded, ozonebaby sprays some whipped cream into her mouth first and then. . ._ want some whipped cream with that pie, Guin? _Guin now looks like a snowman_ ha-ha! oops! did i ruin your new pants! i am sooooooooo sorry! NOT! ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! _dives under table because she can see Guin’s red cheeks burning throught the pie_ yikes! ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/37 "2001-11-24T18:06:11Z")
_jumps out from under table as Guin throws_ _opens mouth wide_ :o it’s not like I’m going to let good food go to waste SMACK!!! you know Guin, my mouth is down here, not in my hair. yuck! i think my hair is dyed orange now. . .cool! ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/38 "2001-11-24T18:18:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > \*\*Hmmmmmm…this turkey doesn’t have enough stuffing. > > > > \ > > > > That’s better.😃 \*\* > > You forgot the gravy! > > _pours gravy down the back of **Jester** ’s pants_ \*\* gravy, eh. . ._while luck’s back is turned, pores down back_ _picks up a fresh bowl of jello_(don’t ask)_dumps onto RT’s head_ like jello, RT? pst, Jester, want to team up to get Guin back for your soggy pants and my orange hair? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/39 "2001-11-24T21:48:13Z")
while **ozonebaby** plots with **Jester** , **Guin** takes advantage of their distraction and smashes a whole stick of butter into **ozone** ’s hair. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839/40 "2001-11-24T21:52:33Z")
Gee, Guin, don’t you know you can’t mix orange with yellow?! _picks up mashed potatoes and gives Guin her second dinner_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-annual-doper-turkey-day-food-fight/94839.md?page=3)