# 2nd Commandment, Bitches!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2006, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202 "2006-08-18T08:02:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/41 "2006-08-18T20:06:42Z")
> [@Fritz](#): > > I’m a dyslexic agnostic: “There is no dog” But are you an insomniac dyslexic agnostic? Do you stay awake at night thinking about whether or not there is a dog? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/42 "2006-08-18T20:09:57Z")
I found an icicle the exact shape and size of a Barbie leg when I was 6. And trust me, I dismembered enough Barbies in my youth to know what a Barbie leg looks like, I tellya… What? They’d pop off while changing her clothes. Jeeze, what kind of doll mutilator do you think I am 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fritz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@Fritz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fritz)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/43 "2006-08-18T20:12:49Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > But are you an insomniac dyslexic agnostic? Do you stay awake at night thinking about whether or not there is a dog? Yes. Yes I do. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/44 "2006-08-18T23:26:55Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > So we should applaud her for almost shedding her ignorant belief in a fictional deity but then retaining it because of a chocolate chunk? Brilliant!! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/45 "2006-08-19T01:35:45Z")
> [@](#): > > **Annie** : (quoting from the Bible) You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth… In the dictionary an _idol_ could mean 1. a representation of an object of worship – broadly, a false god 2. a form or likeness of something (And some other meanings which don’t seem to apply here) I don’t hear about anyone worshipping the statues in Catholic churches or the Mother Teresa bun at Bongo Java in Nashville (now “deceased”). Some people may see these images as signs from God or miracles. I generally think they are kind of like the cow I used to see in my bathroom curtains. The second definition is the one that should give pause to anyone who takes the Bible literally. (I don’t.) If we abide by the verse using that definition, we shouldn’t have pictures of Jesus, wear crosses around our necks, have paintings of angels or representational art at all! I wonder if that includes photographs of things on earth. How about smilies? ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/46 "2006-08-19T01:50:52Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > I generally think they are kind of like the cow I used to see in my bathroom curtains. A _holy_ cow, surely. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/47 "2006-08-19T01:57:02Z")
> [@Apos](#): > > God could have solved so many things if he had made a “stop being fucking stupid and get back to work” a commandment. But then I’d have to stop posting. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/48 "2006-08-19T02:07:40Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > **Anaamika** , > > You know if you and I had stumbled upon this holy chocolatey goodness we would’ve surely been fighting over who gets to bite the head off. > > [/SIZE] You can have the head if I can have the feet. **norinew** , heathen, at your service. _bows_ ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/49 "2006-08-19T03:36:49Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > So we should applaud her for almost shedding her ignorant belief in a fictional deity but then retaining it because of a chocolate chunk? So you say. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/50 "2006-08-19T05:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Leave her alone. She’s a single mom who had nearly given up and now she’s found faith again. Some people don’t believe until they survive a horrific car crash or something like that. Jacinto, she’s not like the rest of you cynics. She just needed a blob of chocolate. It’s the Hershey Highway to Heaven. Turning people’s beliefs around for fifty years. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/51 "2006-08-19T05:53:34Z")
Does anyone else think that this chocolate object resembles a buttplug? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/52 "2006-08-19T11:32:32Z")
A recently-used buttplug, at that. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/53 "2006-08-19T16:15:55Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Does anyone else think that this chocolate object resembles a buttplug? [You knew this was coming!](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php) ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/54 "2006-08-19T16:17:51Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > [You knew this was coming!](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php) [But wait! There’s more!](http://www.divine-interventions.com/mary.html) Minty Chocolate Mary Dill! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/55 "2006-08-19T18:29:42Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > So we should applaud her for almost shedding her ignorant belief in a fictional deity but then retaining it because of a chocolate chunk? Exactly. Lesser people might have missed the connection between a blob of chocolate (sans almonds, no less) and a personal message of hope from their deity. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/56 "2006-08-19T19:31:24Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > A recently-used buttplug, at that. So, then, it should be “I don’t mind if it rains or freezes, long as I got my [[http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php)]baby Jesus]([http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php))\*\*\* buttplug”? _ **NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINK** _ ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/57 "2006-08-19T19:34:08Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > So, then, it should be “I don’t mind if it rains or freezes, long as I got my [[http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php)]baby Jesus]([http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php))\*\*\* buttplug”? Hey! That’s _my_ rude link, missy! And I don’t share (per standard b-plug hygenie recommendations) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/58 "2006-08-19T19:39:57Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > So, then, it should be “I don’t mind if it rains or freezes, long as I got my [[http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php)]baby Jesus]([http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php))\*\*\* buttplug”? > > _ **NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINK** _ Oh my… in white chocolate no less. Cuz white is pure. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/59 "2006-08-19T20:01:38Z")
From that same page… Glow-in-the-dark Jackhammer Jesus? I’m at a loss here. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202/60 "2006-08-19T21:31:36Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Does anyone else think that this chocolate object resembles a buttplug? [[Announcer voice]They also have a line of buttplugsbuttplugsbuttplugsbuttplugs[/Av]](http://www.damnthe.com/video/the_dildo_song_in_color_colour.html) Warning: Link is NSFW (language) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/2nd-commandment-bitches/369202.md?page=4)