# 3 biggest lies in the world **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170 "2000-02-26T12:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Krispy\_Original](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/1 "2000-02-26T12:34:00Z")
According to a certain country-western songwriter, one of the “3 biggest lies in the world” is: - This will only hurt for a little while What’s your take on some of the biggest lies in the world? * * * Krispy Original - I survived the SDMB outage ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/2 "2000-02-26T12:40:00Z")
First thing that jumps to mind is “read my lips, no new taxes”. Course there was the whole “Contract for America” that numerous people signed and still has not been fulfilled. Or for the less cerebral maybe its “I promise I won’t come in your mouth”. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/3 "2000-02-26T12:42:00Z")
“The cheque’s in the mail.” * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/4 "2000-02-26T13:37:00Z")
The standard three I’ve always heard are: “I love you.” “The check is in the mail.” “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” I’m sure there are numerous variations, though. I’ve also heard “I love you” and “I promise I won’t come in your mouth” paired as the two lies men most frequently tell to women. * * * “Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/5 "2000-02-26T13:55:00Z")
My favorites are: “This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you” “Trust me” “I love you” * * * _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/6 "2000-02-26T14:02:00Z")
Or how about “It’s not you, it’s me.” Of course it’s _you_. Why else would I be dumping your sorry ass? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/7 "2000-02-26T14:39:00Z")
“I can quit anytime” “You’re the best I’ve ever had” “I love the gift” ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/8 "2000-02-26T17:13:00Z")
“This message board is down temporarily while we perform routine maintenance.” ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/9 "2000-02-26T19:18:00Z")
Of COURSE I’ll warn you when I’m about to cum, honey… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/10 "2000-02-26T20:28:00Z")
‘Let me be honest with you.’ Cuz, shucks, what were they before that? ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/11 "2000-02-26T20:56:00Z")
“No Honey - I don’t think that dress makes you look fat.” ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/12 "2000-02-26T21:03:00Z")
Windows 98 is over 25% faster! * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you. ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/13 "2000-02-26T21:08:00Z")
This is the way I heard it: 1. The check’s in the mail 2. No I won’t come in your mouth 3. Black is beautiful ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/14 "2000-02-26T21:12:00Z")
“All the news that’s fit to print.” Dr. Watson “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/15 "2000-02-26T21:39:00Z")
“I didn’t mean it!” “I’ll return/repay it right away.” “Truth in advertising.” Veb ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/16 "2000-02-26T22:00:00Z")
“Honey, that has _never_ happened to me before.” “I’m breaking up with you, but I still want us to be friends.” “Men are simple creatures.” ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/17 "2000-02-26T22:03:00Z")
“It’s only a cold sore.” D: “I’m from the IRS and I’m here to help you.” 😛 * * * “I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/18 "2000-02-26T22:09:00Z")
The check is in the mail. I’ll respect you in the morning. ## The new Boston album will be released soon. “A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a cross?” – [Bill Hicks](http://www.billhicks.com/darktimes/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Krispy\_Original](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/19 "2000-02-26T22:12:00Z")
“I’ll only stick the head of it in.” * * * Krispy Original - I survived the SDMB outage ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2000, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/20 "2000-02-26T22:34:00Z")
'You are more mature right now, but the boys will catch up in a few years!"----NOT,----EVER. * * * “Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.” Bob Dylan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170.md?page=2)