# 3 biggest lies in the world **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170 "2000-02-26T12:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/21 "2000-02-27T00:57:00Z")
The checks in my mouth and I promise I won’t come in your mailbox ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/22 "2000-02-27T01:16:00Z")
Sure I’ll respect you tomorrow. I would never lie to you. No, there’s never been anyone as good as you. * * * Ayesha * * * The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/23 "2000-02-27T01:22:00Z")
Of course size doesn’t matter. 😉 * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/24 "2000-02-27T01:29:00Z")
It’s not you, it’s me. We can still be friends. (Your construction job on the house) will be finished in two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/25 "2000-02-27T01:31:00Z")
I’m just happy to be here and help out the team any way I can. I love my job No, honey, that dress makes you look skinny. ---
**Author:** ![el\_eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e99b99/32.png) [@el\_eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/el_eureka)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/26 "2000-02-27T02:28:00Z")
ex to the recently dumped =\> “I will always love you” “hard work will get you everywhere” “flattery will get you everywhere” The golden rule is a half-truth as well Instead it should be: Do unto others before they do unto you OR He who has the resources makes the rules ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/27 "2000-02-27T03:05:00Z")
#1. I only had two drinks at the bar. #2. I had no idea that I was speeding. #3. No mom, we haven’t had sex. We’re waiting until we get married. * * * I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/28 "2000-02-27T13:43:00Z")
“Krispy is original”. :rolleyes: \ * * * It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/29 "2000-02-27T15:29:00Z")
I’ll bring you back the change. I’ll tell you when I’m going to cum… It’s not you… it’s me. * * * Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/30 "2000-02-27T15:45:00Z")
For musicians: If you do the tour, you’ll be on the album. In general: Respect you in the morning? Hell, I don’t respect you NOW! * * * “I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/31 "2000-02-27T16:50:00Z")
‘You have the biggest penis I ever saw.’ ‘I love your breasts.’ ‘You’re the best lover I have ever been with.’ ‘Ill always love you, heatherlee.’ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/32 "2000-02-27T17:02:00Z")
“Yes, I know we’ve had a few before, but this is _definately_ going to be the **real** Rolling Stones Farewell Tour.” * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/33 "2000-02-27T17:30:00Z")
“It isn’t about the money, it’s the principle of the thing.” “It was like that when I bought it.” “That’s a great idea, boss.” “I only use my internet connection at work for business purposes.” “Don’t worry, my parents really like you.” ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/34 "2000-02-27T17:42:00Z")
1.Of course, I think you’re very sexy, dear. Now, turn out the lights. 2.It doesn’t matter to me, you’re sexy no matter how much you weigh. Now go to sleep, I have to work tomorrow. ## 3.I have a headache/backache/my little pinky hurts… Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/35 "2000-02-28T00:26:00Z")
I’ll call you…definitely! Ha! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/36 "2000-02-28T03:21:00Z")
Here’s a quick dirty-dozen countdown of some of my favorite lies: 1. “I’m not like everybody else.” 2. “I don’t listen to popular music.” 3. “I was into it way before it was popular.” 4. “The thing I look for most in a man is a sense of humor.” 5. “I don’t believe everything I read.” 6. “I don’t watch much television.” 7. “I am not over-reacting!” 8. “I’m an informed consumer.” 9. “It’s empowering.” 10. “I know exactly how to fix your car.” 11. “I read it somewhere.” And finally, the number one lie, the one that brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it: **1) I can prove it.** ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/37 "2000-02-28T05:28:00Z")
I witnessed this exchange: 1. Hi! We’re here from corporate _(HQ)_ and we’re here to help. 2. And we’re glad to see you. * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/38 "2000-02-28T10:35:00Z")
The cable man will be there between 9 to noon. The taxi will be there in less than 30 minutes. The bus comes every half hour. (At least this was a lie in L.A. in the 80s, when I took the bus!) Said to a somewhat accomplished and dedicated musician, artist, writer, in a bragging and dismissive tone: “Oh, I used to (write/paint/play the piano) as good as you, but I stopped doing it.” _(What a load of crap. If you were that frigging good to begin with, you probably would be still doing it!)_ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/39 "2000-02-28T14:38:00Z")
“I’m spending a weekend in Amsterdam on Business” “Of course you dont look fat in that dress.” * * * J Because Fido ate the Hand Grenade for me, When the Tans came round to search the house at tea, I said, “Take this, dog, and eat”, He thought it was a can of meat, It was the hand grenade that Fido ate for me. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170/40 "2000-02-28T19:25:00Z")
“I’m not working this part time job for the money, I love dealing with people.” New and Improved Enright3 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-biggest-lies-in-the-world/14170.md?page=3)