# 3 Things You'll Never Do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082 "2004-12-10T05:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/21 "2004-12-10T13:08:58Z")
1. Understand why Rap is considered music. :dubious: 2. Smoke weed. I have severe asthma. Can you say instant death? 3. Going without a computer/the internet for the rest of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/22 "2004-12-10T13:19:38Z")
1. Give birth. 2. Willingly go to a NASCAR race. 3. Knowlingly start another Stephen King novel. I’ve already read it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/23 "2004-12-10T13:28:47Z")
1.) As God as my witness I’ll never be hungry again! 2.) I’ll never walk into a Hell’s Angel’s bar and loudly yell “Hey! which one of you pussies owns the Harley I just ran over?” 3.) I will never try, on a dare from a medical school friend, an illegal absinthe-based beverage all-nighter where the next thing I remember is waking up stark naked in a hay-filled car on a freight train bound for Istanbul hancuffed to the dead body of a beautiful Russian arms-dealer’s mistress who I vagely remember from grade school and then notice that next to me is a copy of the printout of all the Swiss bank account numbers and passwords for the cartel who owns the black helicopters that, even then, are forcing the train to slow down and let the border guards search for me… …_again!_ ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/24 "2004-12-10T13:33:18Z")
1. Engage in any sexual activity with another guy 2. Go skydiving 3. Eat olives ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/25 "2004-12-10T13:34:27Z")
1. fire or even touch a real gun 2. eat anything from the sea that doesn’t have fins 3. get a tattoo ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/26 "2004-12-10T13:54:34Z")
1.) expect the Spanish Inquisition. 2.) pass up an opportunity for a Monty Python reference. 3.) destroy the Earth. Again. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/27 "2004-12-10T13:59:07Z")
1. Cheat on my husband 2. Kill anyone 3. Smoke. I quit October 20, 1998, at 10:00 PM and I’m never going back to it. That includes all illegal drugs as well. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/28 "2004-12-10T14:03:02Z")
Be predictable. Say, “How could anyone like that?” Commit to **never** doing something. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/29 "2004-12-10T14:17:24Z")
> [@bob\_loblaw](#): > > 1 – commit ritual suicide > 2 – get married > 3 – go to the bottom of the marianas trench for twenty minutes Just hijacking to say – I adore your username! Welcome! As for what I won’t do – I can come up with a scenario for just about anything, but it’s safe to say I will never: 1. Harm a child 2. Harm a defenseless animal 3. Be a millionaire ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/30 "2004-12-10T14:22:04Z")
1. I’ll never let go, Jack. 2. I’ll never try to swim in the sun. 3. I’ll never spontainously combust. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/31 "2004-12-10T14:22:07Z")
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. ---
**Author:** ![AsecretK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ab992/32.png) [@AsecretK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AsecretK)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/32 "2004-12-10T14:28:52Z")
1. Never get married (again) 2. Never drink Tequila (again) 3. Never let a man come before my chidren (no, not again I never have and never will let this happen) ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/33 "2004-12-10T14:41:59Z")
> [@yosemite](#): > > No illicit drugs, with the possible exception of herbal ones (for medicinal reasons only, and yes, I mean _medicinal_). Does herbal mean plant-derived? If so, you certainly have left your options open! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/34 "2004-12-10T14:44:35Z")
1. Give birth again. Too liquidy! 2. Move to Florida. 3. Move back to NY and commute into the city. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/35 "2004-12-10T14:50:38Z")
1. Wear khaki pants. _Especially_ Dockers. 2. Stop reversing letters on every single thing I type. 3. Pronounce the word “Cthulain”. ---
**Author:** ![Jammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jammer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/36 "2004-12-10T14:56:13Z")
Hmmmmm… 1. Cheer for the Duke basketball team to win any game. 2. Take illegal drugs of any kind. Hell, I’m almost 40 now, so why ruin the streak. There are so many legal drugs anyway, so it’s not much of a sacrafice. 3. Have sex with that woman…Monica Lewinsky. Jammer ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/37 "2004-12-10T14:59:34Z")
**Things I’d never do** 1. Flirt with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes, press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance and then refuse to see it through. 2. Stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday, and throw my life away on a dream that won’t come true. 3. Cry in front of you. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/38 "2004-12-10T15:09:41Z")
1. Tug on Superman’s cape. 2. Conform to the “norms” of society. 3. Shoot a man just to watch him die. Unless he’s an ex-boyfriend … ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/39 "2004-12-10T15:22:39Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Engage in sexual activities involving blood, feces, urine, vomit, or any other unusual bodily fluid.[/list] Ummm…what other bodily fluids…is there a cerebrospinal fluid fetish? ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/40 "2004-12-10T15:28:18Z")
Wow, tough one. I’m one of these “never say never” guys, but if you insist… 1.) swing on a star. 2.) carry moon beams home in a jar. 3.) be a pig [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=3)