# 3 Things You'll Never Do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082 "2004-12-10T05:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/41 "2004-12-10T15:38:18Z")
1. Allow my firearms to be confiscated. 2. Have sex with a man. 3. Get a tattoo. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/42 "2004-12-10T15:46:45Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > Ummm…what other bodily fluids…is there a cerebrospinal fluid fetish? can we add these to the list: -snot -breast milk -lymph -tears -phlegm ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/43 "2004-12-10T15:47:16Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > Ummm…what other bodily fluids…is there a cerebrospinal fluid fetish? Given the state of the world, probably. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/44 "2004-12-10T16:01:38Z")
1. Have sex with a man. 2. Own a gun. 3. Smoke a cigarette. Quit 11 years ago and proud of it. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/45 "2004-12-10T16:03:29Z")
To you guys who say you’ll never have sex with another man, I say: you just haven’t met ME yet! 😉 Three things I will never do: 1. Have sex with a woman. So there. 😛 2. Eat sushi. I consider myself gastrointestinally adventurous, and I make it a policy to try anything once before declaring I don’t like it. But eating raw fish just strikes me as a really, really bad idea. 3. Wear socks with sandals. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/46 "2004-12-10T17:12:20Z")
1. Have plastic surgery for purely cosmtic reasons. Unecessary surgery just for the sake of vanity? Ick. 2. Have a threesome with another woman. Yes, I know it’s every guy’s fantasy, but it sure as hell ain’t mine. 3. Vote Conservative. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/47 "2004-12-10T17:26:07Z")
> [@AsecretK](#): > > 1. Never let a man come before my chidren (no, not again I never have and never will let this happen) If a man is _coming_ anywhere near your children, you’ve got bigger problems than … what? nevermind ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/48 "2004-12-10T17:36:11Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > **Things I’d never do** > > 1. Flirt with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes, press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance and then refuse to see it through. > > 2. Stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday, and throw my life away on a dream that won’t come true. > > 3. Cry in front of you. You make a wonderful Rizzo. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/49 "2004-12-10T17:41:59Z")
My three things of Never… 1. Use illegal mind altering drugs. (Now, the _legal_ ones may be a different story) 2. Sky dive. No how, no way. Not me. Nuh-huh. 3. Become a fireman…er…woman…um…person. Big fear there of large flames of fire that can melt my skin off my body. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/50 "2004-12-10T18:53:08Z")
I will never : 1. see a poem lovely as a tree 2. turn into a snake - it never helps. 3. say never again ---
**Author:** ![trupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@trupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trupa)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/51 "2004-12-10T19:03:17Z")
What’s with all the negative attitude and prejudice and discrimination against… (Hijack alert!) skydiving, really? 😃 It’s no more dangerous that scuba, mountain climbing, and many other adventure sports. It’s a great thrill, a source of inner peace, and a wonderfull chance to observe the beauty of the world, make great new friends, have absolutely no other life on weekends, and spend all you spare cash. A weekend of intense skydiving produces the same feeling of rest, renewal and rejuvenation as a whole two week vacation (and can cost the same too, if you’re training). C’mon, be open minded a bit! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/52 "2004-12-10T19:12:38Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > can we add these to the list: > -snot > -breast milk > -lymph > -tears > -phlegm What’s wrong with breast milk?? 1. Never play or watch hockey again (if they make the nets bigger or add any other crazy modifications to the game that would make it cease to be the game I am in love with). 2. Never be the first to have a witty reply on this board. 3. Never do drugs. My reaction to gluten is more than enough of a deterrent to have me swear off anything of the sort. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/53 "2004-12-10T19:21:49Z")
1. get less than twelve hours of sleep a night . . . 2. gamble with a guy named after a city 3. fall for a gal with a tattoo … of daggers. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/54 "2004-12-10T19:35:54Z")
I forgot to say “smoke a cigarette”. Never have, never will. Blech! I’m gagging. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/55 "2004-12-10T19:47:51Z")
1. Hard drugs. I’m not that much of an idiot and I’ve seen what they do to people. 2. Willingly read USA Today, any tabloid, most glossy magazines, or watch TV. It’s _eeeeeevil_. 3. Willingly go back to a synagogue. Or, for that matter, a church, mosque, meeting, or anything of that sort. Take _that_, parents-who-insist-I’m-jewish. ---
**Author:** ![Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/bcef8e/32.png) [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwerty_not_Dvorak)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/56 "2004-12-10T19:48:43Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > 1. Put a penis in my vagina. > > 2. Let someone lick my vagina. > > 3. Play with my vagina. > > I don’t know why I don’t just hang myself right now… with a rope made out of crack. Well you didn’t rule out anal :eek: May I do one in your two 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/57 "2004-12-10T21:21:41Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I tell my friends that there are three things in life that I’m sure I’ll never do, under any circumstances. They are: > > 1. Smoke crack. Ew. It’s such a ghetto drug- I’m too good for crack. > > 2. Have anal sex. Don’t try to change my mind, I ain’t gonna do it. Ever. Anyone else spot the oh so obscure and probably unintentional Natural Born Killers reference in this post? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/58 "2004-12-10T21:37:57Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > 1. Wear khaki pants. _Especially_ Dockers. It’s nice to see that someone else has their fashion sensibilities correctly aligned. Can I say here how much I _detest_ khakis of all descriptions? They’re just so–bland. I always think of them as the pants worn by models who are modeling anything besides pants; they wear khakis because they are too bland to distract from the shirts, sweaters, or whatver that’s being advertised. Seriously, I either wear jeans or suits. I don’t take that stupid, middling, business-fricking-casual bland route, ever. Now then, my other two: (2) Cheat on my wife (3) Win the lottery (this is reverse psychology). ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/59 "2004-12-10T21:42:43Z")
1. Make a list of promises I can’t possibly hope to keep. 2. Follow directions, always, exactly. 3. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/60 "2004-12-10T21:57:06Z")
1. Get a sex-change. 2. Believe someone who thinks illegal drugs are worse than prescription drugs. :rolleyes: 3. Vote Republican. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=4)